Cleveland Frowns 2008 Person of the Year Nominee: Ralph Hardy

It’s taken awhile, but we’ve finally found someone worthy of being nominated for the Cleveland Frowns 2008 Person of the Year Award. It’s 13 year-old Ralph Hardy, from Newark, Texas, whose story is brought to us by Money magazine by way of PerezHilton.com:

“A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad's credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order. . . Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father's existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel. . . .

Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr. Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a "World of Warcraft" tournament and wanted to get some relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities. . . .

Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead."

Now for the best part:

“Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.”

We agree with friend of the Frown, DF, who asks and answers: What kind of 13 year-old boy threatens a $1000 an hour call-girl with a discrimination claim? HINT: The best kind.

The world is not a particularly friendly place for the average 13 year old. So much tough talk on the playgrounds and at the mall -- and tv, and the movies, and the internet. What's a kid to make of it all with such little experience to draw upon (and a father who's too busy to pay any attention)? Not much, which is why we can only admire the fearless leadership that young Mr. Hardy demonstrated in his quest to better understand the ways of the world. He provides us with a welcome reminder that with each generation comes the promise of a better day. Which leads us to the closing line of the Money mag story:

“Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.”

We think he's off to a great start. Once again, we can’t put it better than DF:

Ralph Hardy - 2032: Because it's time to get America back on track.