Today, we have a special report from our friend, The Big Dood, who just returned from a trip Down Under, and offers us some insight into the kind of football that they play here. Tomorrow morning, the New Zealand National Rugby Team, The All Blacks, plays the Australian team, The Wallabies, in a contest to settle not one but two (two!) championships. The Big Dood offers us some sound reasoning in support of a play on The All Blacks:It is death! It is death!
It is life! It is life!
This is the hairy person
Who caused the sun to shine
Keep abreast! Keep abreast
The rank! Hold fast!
Into the sun that shines!
It is life! It is life!
This is the hairy person
Who caused the sun to shine
Keep abreast! Keep abreast
The rank! Hold fast!
Into the sun that shines!
--The Haka (Maori Tribal Dance)
Fresh off a two and a half week trip down under, I’ve returned home with a deep sense of longing in my heart. Australia is a truly wonderful country. Listing its many charms here would be overkill. I will simply say that while there I became profoundly fond of Australian sport, particularly football in its various incarnations.
As Bill Bryson wrote in a fantastic book called “Down Under”, Australia is truly the most sporting nation on earth. When I first arrived in Sydney at around 8:00am on a Sunday morning, I found what seemed like the entire city pouring out onto the streets in jogging shorts for the annual City to Surf 14k run to Bondi beach. It wasn’t warm either but they turned out in droves to jog to the shore and jump into the water.
The Beijing Olympics were the ongoing backdrop during my stay and the country was collectively swooning. When the dust settled, (as much as dust can ever settle in China) Australia finished fifth in the total medal count, behind China, US, Russia and Great Britain. Amazing stuff for nation of less than 21 million people (just a bit more populous than the Greater NY area). The US, by contrast, a country nearly 15 times the size of Australia, brought home just over twice as much hardware (and China was far worse per capita).
But never mind the Olympics. Those are over. Let’s get to the meat of the Australian sports calendar. It’s footy finals time.
While the decisive series of the National Rugby League and Australian Football league are both worth attention of their own, their championship games are both on the horizon. Tomorrow, at around 6:00am our time, the New Zealand All Blacks will invade Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane to bang heads with the Wallabies for the third test match of the season. Find a bar carrying the Setanta network in your area and you can probably catch a tape delay replay at around 2:15 Eastern. In a winner take all contest to decide both the Tri-Nations and Bledisloe Cup, the All Blacks are favored by 5 points. I suggest to Frowns Nation to give up the points and take the Kiwi side this time around. I’d also like to subject my logic to the Frownie Faithful for a thorough vetting.
As Bill Bryson wrote in a fantastic book called “Down Under”, Australia is truly the most sporting nation on earth. When I first arrived in Sydney at around 8:00am on a Sunday morning, I found what seemed like the entire city pouring out onto the streets in jogging shorts for the annual City to Surf 14k run to Bondi beach. It wasn’t warm either but they turned out in droves to jog to the shore and jump into the water.
The Beijing Olympics were the ongoing backdrop during my stay and the country was collectively swooning. When the dust settled, (as much as dust can ever settle in China) Australia finished fifth in the total medal count, behind China, US, Russia and Great Britain. Amazing stuff for nation of less than 21 million people (just a bit more populous than the Greater NY area). The US, by contrast, a country nearly 15 times the size of Australia, brought home just over twice as much hardware (and China was far worse per capita).
But never mind the Olympics. Those are over. Let’s get to the meat of the Australian sports calendar. It’s footy finals time.
While the decisive series of the National Rugby League and Australian Football league are both worth attention of their own, their championship games are both on the horizon. Tomorrow, at around 6:00am our time, the New Zealand All Blacks will invade Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane to bang heads with the Wallabies for the third test match of the season. Find a bar carrying the Setanta network in your area and you can probably catch a tape delay replay at around 2:15 Eastern. In a winner take all contest to decide both the Tri-Nations and Bledisloe Cup, the All Blacks are favored by 5 points. I suggest to Frowns Nation to give up the points and take the Kiwi side this time around. I’d also like to subject my logic to the Frownie Faithful for a thorough vetting.
The Tri Nations football tournament is of unusual relevance to this page. The Rugby Union championship series of the Southern Hemisphere pits the national sides of South Africa, Australia and New Zealand against one another, a total of nine times per season.
What do these Tri Nations have in common? Well, for starters, a pretty awful record of treatment regarding the indigenous populations of those countries. Black South Africans, Australian Aborigines and New Zealand Maoris have all had a pretty rough go at the hands of white settlers.
The above strangely phrased lyrics at the beginning of this post are an English translation of a part of the Haka. For those unfamiliar, the Haka is a traditional Maori tribal dance that the All Blacks perform at the beginning of international test matches.
There are a number of variations to the Haka, this one below, reserved exclusively for the Wallabies (Australia’s National Team) is called Tena Koe Kangaroo (translation at right).
Tena koe, Kangaroo (How do you do, Kangaroo!)
Tupoto koe, Kangaroo! (You look out, Kangaroo!)
Niu Tireni tenei haere nei (New Zealand is invading you)
Au Au Aue a! (Woe woe woe to you!)
Woe woe woe indeed. And the point is that as bad as the policies of the Dutch and English settlers turned out to be for Black South Africans, it’s hard to argue that anyone, in the world of f*cked over groups of indigenous people have had it quite as bad as the Aborigines. I really can’t do the subject justice here, but as deeply as I fell in love with Australia as a country, I was equally abhorred by their greatest social failing as a people - that being the destruction of Aboriginal culture. I will admit that I was completely ignorant with regard to the plight of Aborigines before visiting.
Tupoto koe, Kangaroo! (You look out, Kangaroo!)
Niu Tireni tenei haere nei (New Zealand is invading you)
Au Au Aue a! (Woe woe woe to you!)
Woe woe woe indeed. And the point is that as bad as the policies of the Dutch and English settlers turned out to be for Black South Africans, it’s hard to argue that anyone, in the world of f*cked over groups of indigenous people have had it quite as bad as the Aborigines. I really can’t do the subject justice here, but as deeply as I fell in love with Australia as a country, I was equally abhorred by their greatest social failing as a people - that being the destruction of Aboriginal culture. I will admit that I was completely ignorant with regard to the plight of Aborigines before visiting.
In fact, I was ignorant about virtually every aspect of Australian life. That is what happens to a country that is impossibly far away from virtually every other country in the world. Nobody knows anything about it.
Here are a few quick facts:
Aborigines are the oldest culture on earth. Their appearance on the Australian continent (a strange and improbably event in its own right) can be traced back over 60,000 years. That is a long goddamn time.
Aboriginal languages have no words for ‘yesterday’ or ‘tomorrow’. They traditionally regard time in a completely different way. Maybe 60,000 years isn’t so long afterall.
As recently as 1970 the Australian Government was sponsoring the forced removal of Aboriginal children from their parents (this is known as the ‘Stolen Generation’), placing them in the care of white Australian families for the purpose of cultural assimilation. This is 1970 we’re talking about.
Aborigines, on average, have life expectancies that are over 20 years shorter than White Australians.
It was, at one point, a law in Australia that any group of Aborigines, greater in number than six, was to be immediately fired upon, no matter if the group consisted of women or children.
The list goes on and on, and it’s quite depressing, so I’ll stop here and say, sadly as well, that my assumptions about the state of Aussie/Aboriginal relations were formed by the friendly Aboriginal characters that jokingly sneak up on Crocodile Dundee while he was out camped in the bush. I assumed Aussies were perfectly nice people and that things were probably peaches for the Aborigines – they slept outside, ate yams, wore their makeup, and poked fun at tourists who tried to take their picture with the lens cap still on their camera.
Woe woe woe to me.
The back-story of white New Zealanders and indigenous Maoris is quite different as my poor understanding goes. Though the Maoris have hardly enjoyed a picnic either with the arrival of white settlers, they were at least given land ownership rights at a certain point and can safely be said to have a stake in the identity of the nation of New Zealand – the Aborigines are somehow virtually invisible within Australia.
My questions are these: does the New Zealand rugby team, by continuing to embrace Maori culture, by including Maori players on its side, by continuing to perform the Haka, enjoy some sort of karmic advantage as a result? Is this at least part of the reason New Zealand has enjoyed such success against Australia (Played 154 - New Zealand 104, Australia 45, Drawn 5)?
Is this not an indication that deference and respect shown to one’s indigenous population is a worthy ideal, a distinction which at times manifests itself in contests of strength and sport?
I suppose I already know the answers, but perhaps we shall learn more tomorrow. And while I will be singing ‘Waltzing Matilda’ and drinking my Coopers Sparkling tomorrow afternoon, pulling for the Green and Gold, I will do so with the suspicion that I am on the wrong side of justice and honor.
We’ve seen a lot of uneven contests in the Tri-Nations so far this year. 5 points is not a lot to give up.
Bet the Blacks.
Here are a few quick facts:
Aborigines are the oldest culture on earth. Their appearance on the Australian continent (a strange and improbably event in its own right) can be traced back over 60,000 years. That is a long goddamn time.
Aboriginal languages have no words for ‘yesterday’ or ‘tomorrow’. They traditionally regard time in a completely different way. Maybe 60,000 years isn’t so long afterall.
As recently as 1970 the Australian Government was sponsoring the forced removal of Aboriginal children from their parents (this is known as the ‘Stolen Generation’), placing them in the care of white Australian families for the purpose of cultural assimilation. This is 1970 we’re talking about.
Aborigines, on average, have life expectancies that are over 20 years shorter than White Australians.
It was, at one point, a law in Australia that any group of Aborigines, greater in number than six, was to be immediately fired upon, no matter if the group consisted of women or children.
The list goes on and on, and it’s quite depressing, so I’ll stop here and say, sadly as well, that my assumptions about the state of Aussie/Aboriginal relations were formed by the friendly Aboriginal characters that jokingly sneak up on Crocodile Dundee while he was out camped in the bush. I assumed Aussies were perfectly nice people and that things were probably peaches for the Aborigines – they slept outside, ate yams, wore their makeup, and poked fun at tourists who tried to take their picture with the lens cap still on their camera.
Woe woe woe to me.
The back-story of white New Zealanders and indigenous Maoris is quite different as my poor understanding goes. Though the Maoris have hardly enjoyed a picnic either with the arrival of white settlers, they were at least given land ownership rights at a certain point and can safely be said to have a stake in the identity of the nation of New Zealand – the Aborigines are somehow virtually invisible within Australia.
My questions are these: does the New Zealand rugby team, by continuing to embrace Maori culture, by including Maori players on its side, by continuing to perform the Haka, enjoy some sort of karmic advantage as a result? Is this at least part of the reason New Zealand has enjoyed such success against Australia (Played 154 - New Zealand 104, Australia 45, Drawn 5)?
Is this not an indication that deference and respect shown to one’s indigenous population is a worthy ideal, a distinction which at times manifests itself in contests of strength and sport?
I suppose I already know the answers, but perhaps we shall learn more tomorrow. And while I will be singing ‘Waltzing Matilda’ and drinking my Coopers Sparkling tomorrow afternoon, pulling for the Green and Gold, I will do so with the suspicion that I am on the wrong side of justice and honor.
We’ve seen a lot of uneven contests in the Tri-Nations so far this year. 5 points is not a lot to give up.
Bet the Blacks.
Ed's note: Sounds good to us. We especially like this idea that "deference and respect shown to one’s indigenous population is a worthy ideal, a distinction which at times manifests itself in contests of strength and sport." The Pick: New Zealand All Blacks -5 over the Australian Wallabies.
We'll be back tomorrow with college football picks, including a preview of THE BIG GAME between Ohio State and USC.
We'll be back tomorrow with college football picks, including a preview of THE BIG GAME between Ohio State and USC.
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1 comments:
Wow! Nice article, glad to see someone giving the greatest sport in the world a little facetime. And it shed alot of light on the mistreatment of the Aborigine people for me.
Great Article!
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