A Ray of Hope and Philly's Cursed Misanthropes

Mother Nature, MLB officials, and the ballplayers collaborated to produce an amazing result in Philly last night -- one that dramatically changed the probable outcome of this World Series that the Phillies appeared certain to lock up. We've never seen anything like it. Drama was as high as could be after the game became official in the bottom of the fifth inning with the Phillies leading 2-1. As the rain contined to pour and field conditions continued to worsen, we all wondered, could they really call a World Series game after just four and a half? Of course, nobody wanted to make this decision, so Commisioner Bud Selig and his cabinet waited to suspend the game until the Rays scored the tying run in the top of the 6th. Imagine the sh*tstorm that would have ensued had the Rays not tied this game. On one hand, there'd have been an outcry if the game had been called short. But Selig himself said, after the fact, that he "was not going to allow that to happen." Now imagine the cries of injustice from Philly if he didn't. Wouldn't suspending the game at that point have been "against the rules"? There might be a rule that would allow Bud to do such a thing "in the interests of justice," or something along those lines, but we're not aware of it.

And if he wasn't going to call it a game anyway, why not suspend it earlier, before conditions got so bad? Because Phillies ace Cole Hamels was on the mound, that's why. Hamels had been simply dominant this post-season, and the earlier the game would have been suspended, the longer the Phils would have been without their ace for at least a few more days. But we have to think that such a distraction -- the weather -- had to favor the underdog Rays here. Buster Olney just told us on Sportscenter that Hamels himself said conditions were so bad that he couldn't throw his curveball. Of course the Phillies would have much rather played the remainder of Game 5 without Hamels, but with a 2-1 lead, even if that remainder were an inning or two longer than it otherwise would have been. Underlying this mess is the fact that they should have never started to play this game last night. In failing to suspend the game before conditions got as bad as they did, Selig was attempting to avoid the consequences of this original bad decision, giving the Rays all of the momentum in the process. Selig said that "after meeting with officials and the managers of both the Phillies and the Rays, . . . he decided to go on with the game 'with significant trepidation.' To avoid such a mess in the future, we suggest a bright line rule by which a playoff game is never again started "with significant trepidation."

Consider what a devastating blow this is for the Phils. The Rays have to believe that the Baseball Gods are on their side now. Tampa sluggers Pena and Longoria broke out of their respective 0-for-the-Series slumps just in the nick of time. Now the Rays avoid facing Hamels until at least a decisive Game 7 in Tampa, and they have their two best pitchers (Garza and Shields) slotted to start Games 6 and 7 before the home crowd. And aren't the remaining four innings of Game 5 a perfect place for rookie phenom David Price to shine against a shellshocked Phillies club? (Doesn't Price look like a young Mariano Rivera on that mound)?

Philly got ph*cked. Of course, we'll forgive anyone for believing that the city's franchises (who haven't won anything since 1983) are cursed, but the prevailing idea of what's behind this curse is way off. The purported Curse of William Penn holds that the esteemed founder of the state of Pennsylvania has placed a curse on the city because buildings within the city limits have been built taller than the statue of Penn that sits atop Philadelphia's City Hall (corny video here). How dumb is this? We hardly believe that Mr. Penn's ghost would want to stifle human progress by preventing the utilization of space that we achieve through the modern skyscraper. Look in the mirror Philly. You guys are cursed because you're a$$holes. Actually, let's use "misanthropes" to avoid denigrating a perfectly useful and necessary body part. From cheering the potential paralysis of a Cowboys receiver, to throwing snowballs at TV broadasters, batteries at JD Drew, derision upon their city's own sports heroes, and full bottles of beer at countless unsuspecting sports fans of all stripes, there is no shortage of evidence of the unprecedented misanthropy of Philly fans.

While Philly's curse hasn't been operative for as long as Cleveland's own Curse of Chief Wahoo, shaking it off might not be as easy as simply ditching an offensive logo. The only way we can envision Philadelphia overcoming this curse is by a collective atonement for their various offenses against sports fandom. We realize that all Philly fans aren't bad, but even the good ones must answer for allowing this culture to develop. We recommend a petition signed by just over 50% of the city's registered population by which the signees foreswear the aforementioned behavior. For good measure, this should be combined with a public ceremony in which Philly Mayor Michael Nutter does the same on behalf of the city. If the good people of Philadelphia can't pull this together in the next few days, we expect that the people of Tampa will shortly be celebrating a World Championship baseball club of their own.

Update -- 12:23 PM: We promise we just saw this, from ESPN's Jayson Stark -- "We're pretty sure this won't be the last attack Mother Nature springs on a postseason baseball game. In fact, with the World Series scheduled to stretch into November next year, the chances of a meteorological disaster way worse than this are almost a lock.

"So how about if baseball makes a pact -- right here, right now. The heck with the Fox prime-time schedule. The heck with the old both-sides-have-to-play-in-it mindset. How about this mindset:

"If the weather forecast is scary enough before ANY postseason game to give the commissioner, in his own words, "significant trepidation" about playing, let's not start it. OK? It's that simple. What happened to the Phillies on Monday should never happen to any team in this situation. And Bud Selig knows it."