Soulja Boy Gets Over on King in Bullsh*t NBA Playoff Feud

By now many of you have seen this video or have heard Jay-Z’s new anti-DeShawn Stevenson diss track “Blow the Whistle.” While the video contains some excellent highlights - showing how thoroughly LeBron dominates the Wizards in the Playoffs - this track, and Jay-Zs involvement in this “bullsh*t NBA Playoff feud,” serves only to embarrass LeBron and (especially) Jay, and unnecessarily elevates the status of DeShawn “Soulja Boy” Stevenson. In sum, if you’re DeShawn Stevenson, you call LeBron “overrated,” LeBron responds, and Jay-Z makes a track about it, you’ve already won, no matter who wins the basketball games.

To illustrate how dumb this whole thing makes Jay and LeBron look, consider the track’s inconsistency with LeBron’s initial reaction to Stevenson’s comments:

“With DeShawn Stevenson it is kind of funny. [For LeBron to respond would be] like Jay-Z saying something bad about Soulja Boy. There’s no comparison. Enough said.”

Enough said. Right. Which is why, when your pal Jay-Z makes a track about it, you only demonstrate that Stevenson actually did get under your skin, giving him underdog status, and making him easier to root for.

To make this all much worse, the lyrics of the track are painfully dumb themselves. First, there’s:

“So big we ain’t gotta respond.” Yes Jay, you’ve certainly demonstrated that.

Then there’s: “Hatin’ is only gonna make him (LeBron) spend a night out of spite with the chick you’ve (Stevenson) been datin.”

Attaboy Jay. Way to make things easier on LeBron at home. Wonder what LeBron’s baby momma Savannah Brinson thinks about all of this, or with LeBron’s relationship with Jay generally. One thing is certain, Tim Duncan would never get himself wrapped up in this kind of bullsh*t. Tim Duncan has four championships.

Finally, there’s this from Jay, about himself: “Don’t compare me with nobody. I’d rather not be mentioned. I’m offended.”

First, it’s unclear who he’s addressing here because it was LeBron who first mentioned his name in this feud. Second, he’s obviously lying. If he truly didn’t want to be mentioned, he wouldn’t have cut this track. Jay is clearly enjoying himself here.

If anyone can find even one decent line in this track, please direct our attention to it in the comments.

We agree with Rob Harvilla of the Village Voice, who, in this excellently titled piece, explains that “Jay-Z is probably siding with LeBron here because he aims to woo the guy from Cleveland to Brooklyn in a couple years, just in time to join the relocated Nets, who will play in a fancy new arena.” We know that LeBron looks up to Jay-Z as a mentor. This episode should cause LeBron to question that relationship. What kind of mentor, out of obvious self interest, inserts himself into and escalates a silly dispute in which his mentee is involved, embarrassing himself and his mentee in the process? If anything, this whole episode should show LeBron that it would be a bad move for him to leave the Cavs to become further wrapped up in bullsh*t like this. To show how desperate Jay is here, consider the inconsistency of this episode with his own earlier, wiser words, from one of the greatest hip-hop diss tracks of all time, The Takeover:

“A wise man told me don’t argue with fools. Cause people from a distance can’t tell who is who.”

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves, Jay.

PS: We really hope the Cavs can get it done tonight. It looks like the Hawks are going to battle the Celtics, and it would be great if our guys could get some rest in the meantime. The Celtics are led by veterans, so a longer series with the Hawks should take an extra toll on them physically. Also, the Hawks are an incredibly fun team to watch. Josh Smith looks like a superstar, he’s from Atlanta, and the hometown crowd is eating it up. LeBron, take note. There’s no love like home town love.

PPS: There are good times are to be had in the comments at the Village Voice piece. A major award goes to anyone who can locate this “King of Crakron” dude and get him to start commenting over here. “Reppin the 330 to the 216, Crakron to Thieveland.” Word.

Update: From Dan Steinberg at the Washington Post -- DeShawn's doing an excellent job playing up his newfound underdog/thug status (excellent links in this post). Didn't Jay learn anything in his beef with Jim Jones? LeBron's involvement in this nonsense is enough to make us want to take the Wizards and the points tonight (even though we're rooting for the Cavs). Check back later for a pick.

Update -- 5:17 PM: So yeah, we're going to pick the Wizards +5 in this one. We want the Cavs to win, but with silly self-made distractions like this stupid Jay-Z track, LeBron and the Cavs have made it harder on themselves. And we're sure that Jay wouldn't have released this track without checking with LeBron first. As such, Bron himself has had a hand in Jay-Z publicly contradicting one of his own better works of art. Friends don't let friends. This couldn't be anything that the basketball Goddz look upon with any favor. This also isn't anything that dumb bettors would be wise to (75% are going with the Cavs). We'd love to go Cavs here, but our moral profile won't let us. We'll be rooting for the home team, but this play will take some of the sting out if they lose. The Pick: Wizards +5 over the Cavs.

Update -- 5/1/08, 5:27 PM: DeShawn Stevenson's swagger was undeniable last night in the Wizards win. He had 17 points and 5 rebounds, and threw himself all over the court. He ripped his jersey off after the win and threw it in to the stands at the Q. Hope that this wears off by tomorrow's game.

Greek Easter at the Jake: Holiday Bonus Pick

Of course, the principles applied in our analysis of Friday night's game in Friday's post are generally applicable to the entire series between the Tribe and the Yankees in Cleveland this weekend. It was Tribe time again today at the Jake with a walk-off bases loaded single by Victor Martinez sealing a 4-3 win for the good guys with the bad logo. After a slow start, the Tribe is now 12-12 with today’s victory bringing their winning streak to five games. This streak might be the start of one of the sustained good runs that we’ve become accustomed to seeing from the Tribe over the last few years. It feels like one of those weekends at the Jake, with the home team feeding off a crowd that’s energized by the winning streak and the presence of the overblown and overpaid Yankees. And the Indians aren’t the only ones on a five game winning streak. Despite our concern over big C.C., we’ll join forces with the home team to see if we can’t both extend our streaks to six, together. The pick: Cleveland Indians at 105/100.

Also, we have mixed feelings about the name of the ballpark changing from "Jacobs" to “Progressive" Field. We like Progressive as a company -- our friends who work there tell us that it's a good place to work. We also like that the ballpark's named after a good company that's headquartered in Cleveland and employs a lot of people here, and that the Tribe will collect some millions of dollars for the naming privileges. But "the Pro," "Pro-Field," and everything else we've heard or could think of all sound dumb so we’ll keep calling it “the Jake” for short until someone comes up with something better.

UPDATE: One hour before game time at the Jake and 85% of the point spread action and 67% of the money line action at sportsbook.com is on the Yankees. I don't get it. The below photo of Joba Chamberlain says it all about the Yanks at the Jake these days. My favorite thing about the photo is that Joba is choking on fruit flies at the same time he is choking away the ballgame, and the series. The expression on his face clearly reflects all three ways in which he's choking. We wish we were at the Jake today. Also, we don't care much if the Cavs lose today because part of us wants LeBron to go home, rest his back, and go see a yoga expert.

Seven Percenters

The Yankees are in town tonight and through Monday for the only time this season. These Yankees ruin baseball by causing things like the unbalanced schedule and dumb interleague match-ups like the two yearly series between the Tribe and the Reds, who don't have a meaningful rivalry between them, but have had one contrived for them to justify the lucrative Yanks/Mets and Cubs/White Sox series. Why should the rest of us suffer? If those teams want to play each other so much they should make the g*ddam World Series. Because of such injustices wrought upon good baseball fans by the Yankees, their ilk, and their enablers, we think that the Baseball Gods are more likely than not to restore some balance to the universe in favor of Tribe Time tonight. Plus, the big bad Yanks should be haunted by the memory of how the bugs scared them in the playoffs last year while the Lake Erie Warriors gamely pressed on. Amazingly, a whopping 93% of the action on sportsbook.com is on these freaking pansies tonight. We’re happy and proud to join the 7% who will be ca-cawing for the Byrd-man tonight. The pick: Cleveland Indians +124 over New York Yankees.

Dorothy Rabinowitz Does Good Work

Take it away, Dor.

"Unprecedented opprobrium." Very nice. More highlights:

"Mr. Obama's apparent inability to confront, forthrightly, the pastor's poisonous pronouncements and his own relationship with him is, of course, the cause of all the continuing questions on the subject. It had not been in him, for instance, to say publicly that for a pastor to have preached that the U.S. government had embarked on a project to inject blacks with AIDS was an outrage on truth and decency.

These issues – the unanswered, the suspect – which outraged press partisans have for days attempted to dismiss as trivia and gossip, largely forgotten by the public, are unlikely to be forgotten, either today or in the general election, nor are they trivial. This, Messrs. Gibson and Stephanopoulos clearly understood when they chose their questions. Mr. Obama's answers told far more than he or his managers wished.

Offered a chance to explain the meaning of his remarks about the reasons people living in small towns cling to guns and religion, he went on to repeat them all over again in different words. What there was in those remarks, what attitudes shown, that had offended people, he had still not grasped. In short, what he had said that day he'd meant to say. "What you are, picks its way," as Walt Whitman told us."

Happy to discuss in the comments...

Northwestern Law School Sprung on Springer

Interesting story over at the Chief Source about Jerry Springer and a law school in Chicago. We admire and sympathize with Mr. Springer, generally, and think that he might be able to offer some comforting words to our pal Mr. Former Governor Spitzer. We hope that those two might get together one day soon.

Why Even Have a Bullpen?

Of course, it gets worse before it gets better. The Tribe lost 2-1 in the 10th inning yesterday in Minnesota after Rafael Perez gave up consecutive singles (all shots) to the 9th, 10th, and 11th batters that he faced. One might ask, why leave Perez in to face that 11th batter? Your guess is as good as ours, which is that Eric Wedge is retarded. Perez, a set-up man, usually pitches one, no more than two, innings. When Brendan Harris, then Jason Kubel, hit hard singles off of him to put runners at first and second, he had faced 10 batters, having retired six of them. Seemed like an honest days work for old Raffy at that point. It sure looked like time to bring in Jensen Lewis who’d been warming up in the bullpen. In fact, the entire bullpen should have been available with Cliff Lee, Jake Westbrook, and Paul Byrd all turning in solid (7+ inning) starts for the series. With the day off today, there was even less of a need to preserve arms. Justin Morneau, the Twins best hitter, 2006 AL MVP, and one of the best hitters in baseball was up next. It might be that Morneau was 0 for his career against Perez, who, in fairness to Wedge, had struck Morneau out in the eighth inning. Even so, Perez had already pitched beyond his normal game day workload and had been hit hard by both of the previous two batters. Plus Morneau had already seen Perez once that afternoon. Yet Wedge decided to let Perez face him again, giving Morneau a chance at redemption. The Twins were the home team. The pressure was all on Perez. We saw it coming from a mile away. Thwack! Game winning single to right field.

If you don’t use your bullpen in a situation like that, when do you use it? These relief pitchers aren’t starters for a reason. Isn’t the whole point of a bullpen to bring fresh new pitchers in out of it to keep batters off balance at the end of a game? Neither the Plain Dealer nor Beacon Journal reporters who filed stories about this game cared to raise this question, both choosing to focus on the Tribe’s weak offense. Why these reporters didn’t raise this issue, which was directly and chiefly relevant to the outcome of the ballgame, is anyone’s guess. Until we get any information to the contrary, we will assume it is because they are either too entrenched to want to ask the tough questions, or are retarded themselves. Probably both. Either way, we're watching you Wedgie. And we did not like what we saw yesterday. At least today’s off day (and this bit of good local news) gives us a chance to rest our frowning muscles. . . unless LeBron breaks his back tonight.

Salty Saturday

The weather has been beautiful this week and we’re still salty. The curse of Chief Wahoo is really wrecking sh*t these days.

The Tribe is now 5-9 after dropping two straight to Boston in the ninth inning. Oh, by the way, hope you didn’t want to see Boston play in Cleveland any more this season, because after that two game series this week, they won’t be back 2009. That’s right. Our old American League rival, and last year’s opponent in the ALCS only plays in Cleveland twice this season, in April. The outdoor temperature in these games ranged from between 25 and 50 degrees. The San Diego Padres play more games in Cleveland this year than the Red Sox do. So FOX can make more money on Red Sox/Yankees and Yankees/Mets? Retarded. Oh, and hope you’re not busy next weekend if you wanted to catch the Yankees this year. They won’t be back until next season either. Retarded. Just like our retarded muscle-bound closer who finally figured out that his triceps hurt after Manny took him deep in the ninth on Monday. You pitch baseballs for a living. You are wrecking your bones, joints, and ligaments by lifting weights and that is why you can’t throw. Dummy. We will ask again. Who the f*ck is training these guys?

On to the Cavs, who are in even worse shape, as they head into a postseason that has disaster written all over it. The options appear to be twofold: First there is the potential epic embarrassment of going down to the Wizards who will be bloodthirsty for revenge after being bounced from the playoffs by Cavs in each of the last two seasons. With LeBron’s bad back, the Wizards’ chances are better than ever. The thought of Deshawn “Soulja Boy” Stevenson getting over on the King makes us cringe. What’s worse is that LeBron is likely to do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening, and is liable to cause serious long term damage in the process. We said before LeBron’s back injury surfaced, that his duck-toed gait was a recipe for future long term back problems. These back issues are likely much more serious than LeBron realizes.

And the Browns have three Monday night games next season. This is bullsh*t. Football is for Sundays. Monday nights are for sleeping. Sometimes the Monday night games last until 1am. That f*cks up the whole week. And the Monday night announcers suck.

Finally, and worst of all, it looks like the Curse of Wahoo has spread to New York, probably due to our affiliation with Shea Hey. Has anything sadder than this happened at a ballpark recently? Ever? F*ck.

We’re going to the game tonight so we'll make a pick. Since Sabathia is pitching tonight, we’re taking the over. 87% of the bettors at Sportsbook.com like the under. These dummies obviously don’t understand what a mess big CC is this year. We do. The pick: Indians and Tigers OVER 9.5.


Also, if you think we care that it's not Saturday you are dumber than Borowski.

The Freakin' Weekend

We have tickets for Sunday's Tribe game. Sweet.

Cleveland weekend weather report here. Comic courtesy of dustinland. See y'all on Monday.

NCAA Mens' Hoops Championship: Changing Our Tune

We're calling off the dogs on Memphis tonight. Kansas opened as a 1.5 point favorite, but in two days, Memphis backers, entranced by the talents of Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts, have bet Memphis up to a 2 point favorite.

But Rose skipped media day yesterday due to a stomach ailment. According to teammate Joey Dorsey, "he eats Gummy Bears and Starburst for breakfast, and Twizzlers and Honey Buns for dinner." Douglas-Roberts used media day as an opportunity to let us know that he's never lost a game of one-on-one. But it will be five-on-five tonight, and Rose and Douglas-Roberts will be up against some of the best defending guards in the nation in Kansas's Brandon Rush, Mario Chalmers, Russell Robinson, and Sherron Collins

SI.com's Stewart Mandel points out Kansas's advantage in depth, scoring balance, and defense, and notes that "[i]n an age of one-and-dones and constant roster turnover, Kansas is the rare team that has kept together the same nucleus -- Rush, Robinson, Chalmers and Sasha Kaun -- for three seasons, adding Collins and Arthur last season and gradually building itself into a championship-caliber team."

At the outset of the Tournament folks questioned Memphis's ability to win because they couldn't shoot free-throws, and had played a weak Conference USA schedule. These folks appeared to be correct after the Tigers were pushed to the limit by Mississippi State in Round 2, narrowly escaping with a three point win. Now that Memphis has soundly beaten what we think are three overrated teams in Michigan State, Texas, and UCLA, they are everyone's darling.

Mandel quotes Bill Self's description of his Kansas team: "Not very often do you combine talent, experience, depth and toughness [like this team's]." It's even less often that you see a line move 3.5 points away from such a team winning in a high profile championship game. The Pick: Kansas +2.

Overall Picks record (7-7 (50%)). NCAA Hoops (6-6 (50%)).

Halftime Update: Kansas has a five point lead. This game is going as we expected. We doubt that Memphis, after watching YouTube highlights of themselves all weekend, have the wherewithal to come back against this tough Kansas team, Memphis's best big man Joey Dorsey is notably tired, and Kansas's depth should be an even bigger factor in the 2nd half. Shockingly, Memphis is a 2.5 point favorite to win the 2nd half. Can it be that these Memphis backers can't let go? We're going to pile on with a 2nd half play. The Pick: Kansas, 2nd Half, +2.5.

They Would Have Built a Statue

4/12/08 Update: Sabathia smoked again by Oakland. Three and a third innings, TWELVE hits, NINE earned runs. His ERA is now 11.57 on the season.

After being touched up by a weak Oakland lineup for four runs, six hits, and four walks in 5 1/3 innings yesterday, Tribe ace and reigning AL Cy Young winner C.C. Sabathia is 0-1 with a 7.59 ERA after his first two starts this season. We believe that this slow start is substantially a result of Sabathia’s inner conflict over his impending decision to either remain an Indian, or leave Cleveland to take more money to pitch elsewhere. We expect more of the same from C.C. this season until this inner conflict is resolved.

We hope that C.C. has the chance to speak with his old teammate Jim Thome about this decision, as Thome was the last Indians superstar who was confronted with the same choice. Sabathia might take note of how comfortable Thome looked back in Cleveland when he took him deep twice on opening day at Progressive Field. Thome decided to leave Cleveland for Philadelphia in 2002 for what amounted to a difference of a few million dollars. At the time, Thome was the Tribe’s all time home run leader, and one of the most beloved Cleveland Indians in the team’s history. Thome broke down in tears at the press conference where he announced his decision to leave Cleveland. His decision broke the hearts of Indians fans everywhere.

Things didn’t exactly work out for Thome in Philadelphia, and he was traded to the Chicago White Sox in 2006. Thome is probably the best hitter on a mediocre Sox team, but he has not been, and odds are that he will never be, embraced by the city of Chicago as a hero the way he was here in Cleveland.

We don’t think it’s stretch to say that Thome would make a different decision today if he could do it over again. We know that he still lives in Northeast Ohio. He and his wife liked the area so much that they have decided to raise their children here. It might have been more fun to raise them in an area where their father was the most beloved player in Cleveland baseball history. We have to wonder whether that’s not worth the difference between $85 and $80 million alone. We also have to wonder what Thome would have meant to the Tribe’s playoff run last year. Regardless of the answer to that question, we know that Thome would have rather been playing in the postseason than sitting at home. He will probably feel the same way this fall.

They almost certainly would have built a statue of Thome outside of Progressive Field if he had stayed. Maybe he could have made up the extra millions in endorsements alone, or maybe those millions would be worth it simply to buy the peace of mind that would have come with staying home with the franchise that drafted him and raised him; the peace of mind that would have come with being a legitimate hero to a region of millions of people who are fiercely loyal to their hometown ballplayers; and the motivation that would have come with the chance to bring those people their first championship in 50 or so years. And there’s no telling what it would be worth to actually bring that championship home.

Thome had a chance at all of that, and he sold it for a few million. We have reason to think that it might have been worth a lot more than that. C.C. now has a chance at the same thing, but his opportunity might be worth even more than Thome’s was, given the nucleus of young talent that now surrounds Sabathia on the Indians roster. Could this chance possibly be worth less than going to New York or somewhere else to be a hired gun on a roster full of imported high priced talent? Has any player earned 'all-time great'/'face of the franchise' status on any major league club after being brought in after spending ten years of his career somewhere else? In view of all of this, we enjoyed Thome’s home runs against Sabathia on Opening Day as signifying something more meaningful than the resulting runs on the scoreboard. We can only hope that somewhere inside of him, C.C. was aware of what Thome gave up to leave Cleveland. Of course, C.C. will face tremendous pressure to do the same thing, if not from the MLB players union, then at least from the other teams who will try to lure him away. Whatever C.C. decides to do, we look forward to the day that we in Cleveland have our own Cal Ripken, or Tony Gwynn, or Kirby Puckett, or John Smoltz, or Chipper Jones, or even a Biggio or Bagwell (damn this list is short) who will turn down more money for something less tangible, but seemingly more important.

Fun and Done

40 years ago this weekend, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee. 40 years later, to say nothing else about the fulfillment of Dr. King’s dream, it seems easy to conclude that one place where blacks are not discriminated against is on the NCAA basketball court. But this overlooks the fact that many of the very best of those who play on that court would not be playing there were it not for the rule barring entry to the NBA for players who are not at least 19 years old and one year out of high school. Unlike professional tennis, golf, and soccer players, who can earn millions at ages as young as 13, a talented teenage basketball player who would otherwise be able to earn millions from teams that would gladly pay him, is prohibited from doing so.

Perhaps there are benefits to preventing the talented few from earning a living for a few years, but whatever else its effect, this rule helps to maintain the NCAA’s status as a free minor league system for the NBA. But what about the rule’s effect on the college game? As San Diego Sports Law Professor Len Simon has pointed out, “If you were Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski, would you want a player who was counting the days until he could go pro? And if you didn't recruit him, do you want him slam dunking over your players in the Final Four? This is a no-win situation for the best programs, and a chance for cheap thrills for the worst. The bottom line? A little more talent, a lot more headaches, a lot less integrity.”

Simon’s quote points up the stark contrast between this year’s Final Four participants – that three are blueblood programs, UCLA, UNC, and Kansas, and one, Memphis, is an upstart, led by superstar point guard Derrick Rose who is certain to leave for the NBA after this, his freshman season. We’ve been making picks based on the “trend toward parity” that we have seen in the NCAA in recent years. This trend has been called into question by the fact that all four number one seeds reaching the final four. But a Memphis victory would be consistent with the theory, and we’re going to stick with it. The Dr. King anniversary/Memphis connection helps. Plus, we like the idea of “one and done” players making a big splash in the Final Four, then leaving for the pros, if only because such a trend might put more pressure on the NCAA and NBA to figure out a better way.

The Pick: Memphis -2.

Overall Picks record (6-7 (46.1%)). NCAA Hoops (5-6 (45.4%)).

Our Final Four Pick

Check back tomorrow for a write-up.

Why We Zip

Here is a story from the Beacon Journal about Akron's storied history with the zipper.

And here is an explanation from the University of Akron as to why the mascot for its Zips is a kangaroo, instead of, say, an anthropomorphic zipper.

A good quote from the University's explanation:

"At first much resentment and apathy surrounded the decision, which was made without the benefit of a campuswide vote. Defenders of the kangaroo countered with, "it is an animal that is fast, agile and powerful with undying determination - all the necessary qualities of an athlete.""


One thing that the explanation does not discuss is that kangaroos have pouches, and pouches sometimes have zippers. There might be a connection there to be unearthed by university historians (or disclosed to loyal readers of the Zips' website).

We are slammed at work this week. We'll try to get back above ground with our NCAA picks this weekend. If history is any indication, we'll be back above ground soon enough.