A Time For Every Purpose Under Heaven

Friends and Frownie Faithful: We are setting aside the bloggery for the next few days and to head deep in the heart of L.A. (Lower Akron) to recharge our batteries and prepare for what we really came for - the bountiful harvest that is Autumn in Northeast Ohio and all that comes with it.

Of course, this means that we'll be back early next week because we know you're counting on us to be your humble and fearless guide through the sixth-round-pick laden handicapping maelstrom that is the NFL pre-season, which begins in earnest next Thursday. The Hall of Fame game is this Sunday in Canton, but Big Joe looks like he's definitely going to want to fish through the weekend, so we're content to abide by the old saw that it's bad luck to win the first hand. 

Consider this August a transition period.  When the regular seasons begin in September, things are going to be very different around here until Superbowl Sunday, which will be our first blogiversary.

Until next week, read up on your Cleveland Frowns archives, start your blog, and remember, we're batting 1.000% on our NFL picks here so far.

Hardee, har.

Young Local Bloggers Blowing Up

Some of our favorite young local bloggers are up to big things these days. Kyle Kutuchief (Revere High School, '97) and Ben Keeler (Revere High School, '98), of the Akron Beacon Journal’s ohio.politics.com blog recently sat down with Governor Strickland in his office for an interview that you can see on video in three parts here and here. Kyle and Ben are the founding editors of The Chief Source, and the Keeler Political Report, respectively.

As for the interview, we’re impressed that Strickland took the time to sit down with a couple of twentysomething local bloggers. He appears to us to be a likeable and thoughtful man. As for the contents of the thoughts expressed, we think the bit on Obama is all so much nonsense, and is emblematic, to us, of Obama’s campaign at large. In sum, Strickland starts with the Chicken Little-esque notion that “we are facing a cataclysmic shift, driven by what’s happening around the world,” and then, without any substantive explanation, tells us that Obama is the man to see us through these violent times. Why Mr. Governor? Why? Why? Why? (Relatedly, and oddly enough, we read an interesting piece in the Wall Street Journal this weekend: “While the Iraqi effort is almost exclusively American now, Afghanistan is a NATO mission. Sen. Obama, chairman of the Senate Subcommittee on European and NATO affairs [who talks A LOT about Afghanistan], had never visited Afghanistan, and has not bothered to hold a hearing of the subcommittee covering the countries for which it bears legislative oversight responsibility.” How strange.)

The best part of the interview is where Strickland discussed legislation pertaining to our local fresh water source, The Great Lakes Compact. To paraphrase the money quote: “Growth that we’ve seen in Arizona and elsewhere in the American West can simply not be sustained without a supply of fresh water. This compact will ensure that the resources of the Great Lakes are managed by the States and Provinces of Canada that surround them." Word. Thanks for being on top of that, Gov. And nice work Ben, and Kyle.

Speaking of nice work, Chuck Kozelka (Revere High School ‘97), one of the original editors of The Chief Source, surely has himself some of that. Chuck is a lawyer who works at the Arizona Public Defender’s Office. Chuck’s most recent assignment has him defending the inalienable rights of one Earl Simmons, better known to some as the rapper, Dark Man X, or DMX, who has been indicted with felony charges of theft and identity theft. It’s remarkable that Mr. Simmons was appointed a public defender in this case, as the Judge notes in this video at TMZ.com (you can hear Chuck's voice in the background). While Chuck won’t be able to discuss his representation of Simmons due to his professional duties of confidentiality to his client, we are sure that this foray into celebrity justice will inform Chuck’s wisdom in a number of ways, and we look forward to this coming through in his writing at The Chief Source. Best wishes to Chuck, and to DMX, who is obviously the target of a government conspiracy. (Let’s not forget that Arizona was one of the last states to adopt Martin Luther King Day as a national holiday.)

In concluding, we should point out that it was only a few years ago that Ben, Chuck, and Kyle started with nothing but an internet connection, a blogger account, and a dream. Now they’re interviewing governors and defending rap stars. It’s true, kids. The world IS flat. The internet IS the wave of the future. Start your blog, TODAY.

The Freakin' Weekend

Serving up some sizzling links to send you into the weekend . . .

C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog, Hamburger. Har, har. The Onion

Ohio State vs. The SEC: A Closer Look at 0-9. "Even more fortunate for LSU—how about playing for the BCS Championship Game in your home state? How about the last time an SEC team even played north of the Mason-Dixon line was in 1991?" Chip Minnich at Bleacher Report

Browns Owner, City Disrespected. "Mr. Silver why do you have to add your name to the list of pompous jerks that feel it appropriate to look down upon Cleveland every chance you get? Have you even been to our city? I’m glad that you live in some sort of magical enchanted metropolitan area that has no problems. Perhaps you might use your infinite wisdom for good and offer some suggestions for how to improve the city and it’s image." [This piece also raises the interesting issue of absentee pro sports owners. Something for Steeler fans to think about as the Rooney family looks for a buyer.] Waiting for Next Year

Why Does Cleveland Tolerate the Dolans? "The Dolan family is perfectly fine hiding behind the somewhat hilarious notion that they need to run the Tribe like a “business”, dealing out mediocrity with an occasional glimpse of the promised land should the minor leagues system crank out a few decent prospects that coalesce in a good club before the Yankees, Red Sox, Mets and others come to claim what’s theirs. And the media let's them. There's total silence." Barry McBride at The Muni Lot

Omar Vizquel Proves that it's Possible to make Goo Goo Dolls Sound Worse. "He kind of sounds like Triumph the Insult Comic auditioning for a boy band. Which the Goo Goo Dolls kind of are. Which, I suppose begs some questions about Omar Vizquel." [Ouch.] Bugs & Cranks via The Cleveland Sports Animal

Next up, A.O. Scott and Scott Denby Discuss the Surging Mets. [Hilarious review of ESPN 1st and 10 Review of The Dark Knight.] Fire Joe Morgan

Beating, Throttling, Pummeling, and Eviscerating a Dead Horse. [A modest proposal for an Indians logo to replace Chief Wahoo. We would prefer a dignified representation of a real Ohio Indian Chief, like Chief Logan.] Shea Hey!

The Audacity of Vanity. "Obama is a three-year senator without a single important legislative achievement to his name, a former Illinois state senator who voted "present" nearly 130 times. As president of the Harvard Law Review, as law professor and as legislator, has he ever produced a single notable piece of scholarship? Written a single memorable article? His most memorable work is a biography of his favorite subject: himself." Charles Krauthammer at the Washington Post

That's not a Curse, THIS is a Curse . . .

Yesterday we came across this story about a group of sports memorabilia dealers who've offered reclusive Cubs fan Steve Bartman $25,000 to show up at the National Sportscard Convention in Chicago and sign one -- just one -- autograph, on a photo depicting the infamous play where he arguably prevented Cubs left fielder Moises Alou from fielding a foul pop-up at the end of Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS that would have saved the Cubs a lot of trouble had Alou caught it.

We're primarily interested in this story because, as the article says, Bartman's name has become synonymous with Chicago's Billy Goat Curse, which has us thinking about how trivial, even dumb, the Billy Goat Curse is compared to Cleveland's own Curse of Chief Wahoo.

To review the bidding, the Billy Goat Curse "all started with a smelly goat. In 1945, Cub fan Bill Sianis, owner of the Billy Goat Tavern, brought his goat Murphy to Game 4 of the World Series against the Detroit Tigers. Cubs owner P.K. Wrigley didn’t let Sianis’s pet stay, declaring that 'the goat stinks.' An angry Sianis reportedly said, 'The Cubs ain’t gonna win no more. The Cubs will never win a World Series so long as the goat is not allowed in Wrigley Field.' The Cubs lost the World Series, and haven’t made it back since."

It turns out that Sianis and his goat weren't treated as badly as the short story indicates. Wikipedia tells us that Sianis "was allowed to parade with the goat on the baseball field before the game started, with the goat wearing a sign stating 'We Got Detroit's Goat.' Sianis and his goat watched the game from their seats until the seventh inning. It was then that security personnel told Sianis that he and his goat had to leave, due to complaints about the goat's objectionable odor."

Despite being forced to endure the harrowing experience of only being allowed to stay at Wrigley with his goat for seven innings after receiving the free publicity of a pre-game parade around the Wrigley diamond, all in all, things turned out pretty well for Mr. Sianis. His Billy Goat Tavern has become a Chicago and even a national institution, and, along with Mr. Sianis himself, was the subject of numerous newspaper columns by the great Mike Royko, and the famous Olympia Cafe skits on Saturday Night Live. "Cheezborger, cheezborger, cheezborger . . . "

We provide this background to show that the injustice suffered by Mr. Sianis and his barnyard buddy hardly seems curse-worthy to us.

By way of comparison, we'd like to direct your attention to this fantastic website that contains a wealth of information about Ohio's great Native American tribal chiefs. Of particular interest is the story of Chief Logan, a member of an Iroquois tribe that lived in Pennsylvania and Ohio. His Indian name was Tachnedorus, but was called Logan because of his friendship with a Quaker named James Logan.

The story goes that Logan "remained friendly with the whites until a group of settlers murdered his wife and family in 1774. Logan then sought revenge in a series of raids throughout the frontier. He also joined the Shawnee chief Cornstalk against the British in Lord Dunmore’s War. When the Indian forces were defeated at the Battle of Point Pleasant, Cornstalk knew that the Indians must make peace. A meeting was held at Chillicothe, which Logan refused to attend. Instead he sent a message that was read and later reprinted in newspapers throughout the colonies. Logan’s statement, which follows, has since been cited as one of the finest examples of Native American literature.

"I appeal to any white man to say if he ever entered Logan’s cabin hungry and he gave him not meat; if he ever came cold and naked he clothed him not. During the course of the last long and bloody war, Logan remained idle in his cabin, an advocate for peace. Such was my love for the whites that my countrymen pointed as I passed and said, ‘Logan is a friend of the white man.’ I had even thought to have lived with you but for the injuries of one man. Colonel Cresap, the last spring, in cold blood and unprovoked, murdered all the relatives of Logan, not even sparing his wives and children. There runs not a drop of my blood in the veins of any living creature.

"This calls on me for revenge, I have sought it; I have killed many; I have grown glutted by my vengeance. For my country I rejoice at the beams of peace; but do not harbor any thought that mine is the joy of fear. Logan never felt fear. He will not turn his heel to save his life. Who is there to mourn for Logan? Not one.

"Cresap was later found innocent of the murders and Logan continued his raids on the frontier throughout the American Revolution. In 1780, Logan was murdered by another Indian (possibly his nephew) near Detroit. The once mighty Mingo leader died a bitter man due to his tragic personal losses and because he was unable to stop the whites from taking Indian lands."

Died a bitter man. Understandable. So, keeping in mind that Logan was one of very many Natives who had such an experience, let's ask the question: If Billy Sianis gets to curse one baseball team for 60+ years, how long will the curse of Logan and friends last? 50,000 years? 100,000 years? The Drive, The Fumble, The Move, and everything else might just be a drop in the bucket for us. Please note that we take no position on what happened to Logan, or whether peace between Natives and white settlers was even possible. We appreciate that we might not exist had things not turned out the way they did. But if we continue to insist on mocking these bitter souls with our ridiculous baseball logo, cursed sports teams might be a small price to pay.

Why take the chance?

Broken Icon

All of the excitement among the Cavs, Knicks, Nets, and others about clearing cap space for LeBron's free agency in 2010 might all be over a bag of bones by the time 2010 finally rolls around. Yesterday, LeBron hobbled off the Team USA practice court without speaking to reporters after spraining his ankle after landing on Kevin Durant's foot during a scrimmage. LeBron isn't expected to miss much time due to this injury, and his teammates and Team USA officials seem unconcerned here. This, to us, is a big problem.

It was clear that LeBron James was not healthy for the better part of the second half of the last NBA season. He missed several games during the regular season with a series of ankle and back issues, that we are certain are symptomatic of a long term problem. Yet, LeBron took no significant time off during the season to recover from these issues, instead just taking the odd game or two off here and there before enduring two grueling playoff series. And now, in the off-season, when LeBron would theoretically have a chance to recuperate from the long NBA season, he is instead off with Team USA, soon to be chasing a gold medal in China.

We would applaud Mr. James for his patriotism here, but we don't think that his dedication to Team USA has much, if anything, to do with that. We know that LeBron and Nike are both very big in China. We also know that LeBron's goal is to become a "global icon," and a billionaire. It's easy to see why LeBron would feel that he has to star in these Beijing Olympics to reach these goals. This, of course, is putting the cart before the horse. Obviously, nobody is going to care about a gold medal in 2008 if LeBron exacerbates potentially long term injuries to the detriment of the rest of his career.

We think that LeBron, clouded in his pursuit of global icon billionaire status, might be blind to this reality. Much like Braylon Edwards might better understand that not everyone is blessed with the opportunity to become a Hollywood star, LeBron might realize that a much smaller percentage are lucky enough to become globally iconic billionaires. We wish that LeBron's real goal was to just be the best LeBron James that he could be, which means a healthy LeBron James, who doesn't need to play in summer exhibition games to prove that he is, actually, the best basketball player on Earth. Global icon or not, billionaire or not, there's still a lot out there for LeBron James to accomplish, and he ought to be thankful for the opportunity that he has to become whatever he might become. And if he could focus on that first, he might one day even become a global icon. And a billionaire. Becoming a bona fide championship-winning Cleveland icon would be an excellent start.

LeBron, please come home.

Braylon Edwards -- Well Rounded Athlete or Starstruck Dandy?

We’re trying not to let ourselves be too depressed by this storyline that tells us that there will be no quarterback controversy in Cleveland this year. We assume that Phil Savage knows what he’s doing here -- that he couldn’t have just let Derek Anderson walk away for nothing in the off-season, that keeping him around will be good for Brady Quinn’s development and for the team, and will allow the Browns to make a better decision about their quarterback situation in 2009. But $14.5 million, the amount of guaranteed money in Anderson’s new deal, is a lot of coin. Especially considering his meltdown in the must-win week 17 match against the Bengals, and that our grandma would have made the Pro Bowl last year throwing to those receivers behind that offensive line.

The Anderson/Quinn “quandary” had us uneasy enough before we came across a couple of items that suggest that our star receiver Braylon Edwards might not have his priorities in order. First there’s this piece from Mike at WFNY about Braylon’s untied diamond studded bowtie look at last week’s ESPY awards (pictured above), which we might have let slide until we read this article from ESPN the Magazine that’s linked in the WFNY bowtie piece. Apparently Edwards has “big-screen dreams.” He wants to make it big in Hollywood. This doesn’t make Braylon much different from millions of LA residents, high school drama clubbers, and university drama majors from coast to coast -- except that Braylon has an NFL career to keep him busy, and has enough money and name recognition to allow him to pursue his Hollywood dream in a way that so many of these others may not. And it appears that Braylon is dedicating no small portion of his time and energy to doing this.

This doesn’t seem to bother Mike at WFNY, who says that “Braylon is fully aware that his game is what gets his foot in the door.” Easy for Braylon to say, but our question is, what happens to his game once his foot is in this door? Cliff Lee has shown us what a difference a properly focused off-season can make. Success in any major pro sport doesn’t seem like something that anyone could take for granted. And Hollywood stardom is something that only a tiny percentage of one percent who seek it achieve. Every minute spent chasing it is a minute not spent on football, or rest and recuperation. While it’s possible that Braylon’s pursuit could be viewed as “rest” of a certain kind, nothing more than a harmless hobby, a few quotes from the ESPN Mag piece trouble us here:

#1: “‘When I see LeBron having these huge posters all over Cleveland or doing Saturday Night Live—he deserves all the respect he gets,’ Edwards says. ‘I'd like to be the King of Cleveland because I'm doing the exact same things consistently, like he's been doing. I'm trying to get to that level.’”

The exact same things as LeBron? Consistently? ??? ????? The mind reels. At the very least this suggests that Braylon might not understand how much work there is to be done before he and the Browns achieve a fraction of the success that LeBron has with the Cavs. (The playoffs would be a good start, Bray.)

#2: “As Skall pulls out of the Film 44 parking lot and heads crosstown to meeting No. 2, Edwards whips out his iPhone and calls his tailor. Edwards has an idea for a suit, and he wants to brainstorm the concept.”

What happens if Braylon, inspired by the Dawg Pound faithful, gets ‘an idea for a suit’ in the middle of a game? Will this cloud his focus? Football is, after all, a game of inches. Can the Browns afford distractions like this?

#3: “‘The Entourage guys want to hang out while I'm in town,’ [Braylon] says with a megawatt smile. ‘I thought, Wow, they want to hang out! Okay, that's cool.’”

And if the Entourage guys want to hang out on a Saturday before a big game? Then what? Braylon himself believes that "[i]t's who you're shaking hands with, who you've been a friend to, who's been on your side forever. These are the people who get the roles." Based on how taken Braylon is with the Hollywood scene, how can we be sure that his Hollywood handshakes won't interfere with high fives in the Dawg Pound?

#4: “The 25-year-old Browns receiver's ensemble was carefully designed, he says, to show he's professional and fun. Even his fragrance, Bond No. 9, serves a higher purpose. ‘It's my war cologne,’ he says. ‘It's a strong, masculine scent. I wear it when I'm trying to show confidence or be dominant.’"

?!?!?!?! War cologne!?! Yikes. Here we’ll point out that Braylon is a Michigan grad. We’ll also point out that it’s hard for us to imagine Jerry Rice saying or doing any of these things. We don’t begrudge anyone for pursuing his dreams, but we hope that Braylon remembers that he has a great thing going with this NFL gig, and should have plenty of time and money with which to pursue his Hollywood dreams once the NFL gig is up. Until then, we hope that the ‘war cologne’ that Edwards most consistently applies is sweat.

2008 Cleveland Frowns Person of the Year Nominee: Latarian Milton

If you haven’t met Latarian Milton of Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, you are in for a treat.

Our New T-Shirt

We've bought seven of these shirts. One for each day of the week. You can get yours here at Shelf Life Clothing Company. We won't mind at all if you ever show up wearing this shirt at the same party where we're wearing it.

Check back on Wednesday for two inspiring Cleveland Frowns Person of the Year nominees.

Also, thanks to the folks at Shelf Life for braving tear gas and police barricades to snap the below photo.

John Templeton and The Curse of Chief Wahoo

We are mourning the passing, last week at the age of 95, of billionaire philanthropist John Templeton. Born into a poor Tennessee family, Templeton was an investing pioneer, who became a billionaire by being the first person to invest in globally diversified mutual funds. In 1999, Money magazine called Templeton "arguably the greatest global stock picker of the century."

According to the Wall Street Journal:

[Templeton] became one of the world's great fund managers by investing at what he called 'points of maximum pessimism.' Yet Templeton . . . was never himself a pessimist. As an investor he always had confidence his picks would improve over the long term. Appropriately, the same 'enthusiasm for progress,' as he put it, also made him one of the world's great philanthropists.

A devout Presbyterian, Templeton believed 'that God is vastly greater than human beings can comprehend,' and sought to use his wealth to help reconcile science and religion.

One way he did this was by founding, in 1972, the Templeton Prize for Progress Toward Research of Discoveries About Spiritual Realities. The Wall Street Journal tells us that "Templeton was unhappy that the Nobel Prize excluded faith, so he ensured the honor always had a higher cash prize (now about $1.6 million). . . . [Additionally, Templeton] established the Templeton Foundation, which supports academic research in fields like cognitive science and evolutionary biology, as well as work related to the origin and nature of spirituality."

"The Templeton Foundation encourages research into "big questions" by awarding philanthropic aide to institutions and people who pursue the answers to such questions through "explorations into the laws of nature and the universe to questions on the nature of love, gratitude, forgiveness, and creativity."

Templeton states the purpose of his Foundation as follows:

"We are trying to persuade people that no human has yet grasped 1% of what can be known about spiritual realities. So we are encouraging people to start using the same methods of science that have been so productive in other areas, in order to discover spiritual realities."

While a committed Christian, Templeton was optimistic about the role that other religions play in humanity's "religious progress," once asking, "[w]hy shouldn't I try to learn more? Why shouldn't I go to Hindu services? Why shouldn't I go to Muslim services? If you are not egotistical, you will welcome the opportunity to learn more."

Is anyone else as happy as we are that (perhaps) the best stock picker of the last century believed and did these things?

We are sure that Templeton would have been interested in the Curse of Chief Wahoo, a bona fide spiritual reality, and might even have signed our petition. The topic of the Curse is right up Templeton's alley, at the seams of science and religion. On one side we have the religious aspects of justice, karma, offended Native spirits, Tribe fans' zealous attachment to Wahoo, and the zealous opposition to Wahoo by activists. On the other we have the scientifically irrefutable remarkable and painful awfulness of the results achieved by Cleveland teams over the last 50-plus years, as well as the inarguable fact that Wahoo is the only racial caricature created by people not of that race and employed by those people as a logo of a major American sports team. "Love, gratitude, forgiveness and creativity," or the lack thereof, are involved here as well. Anyone who could make progress toward research proving the existence of The Curse of Chief Wahoo would bring us that much closer to a long awaited championship and would deserve every penny of the $1.6 million Templeton Prize. We would even chip in with a major award of our own.

Thanks to Wikipedia for an excellent collection of sources.

Cee...Cee...See Ya' Later!

We haven’t been motivated to post about the Sabathia trade because we don’t think there’s much to say about it that we and others haven’t already said.

Yeah, it’s great that the Indians got something for the big fella rather than see him walk for nothing like Belle, Manny, and Thome did. And they appear to have done well to get the seventh overall pick from the 2007 draft, Brewers top prospect Matt LaPorta, who looks like he can mash.

But the situations with Belle, Manny, and Thome were all different. The Tribe was either contending, and didn’t want to give the guys up for the stretch run, and/or had other reasons to think they would stay. C.C. gave no indication that he would stay. We suppose this is a little sad, and it has us thinking about things like loyalty, and a salary cap.


But -- and despite the fact that he was throwing at a tiny tiny strike zone against the Red Sox -- we’re also thinking of Cy-Cy’s 8.80 ERA in last year’s playoffs and wondering if he has the mental toughness to get it done when it counts the most. We’re also thinking that Sabathia’s physique doesn’t exactly call the phrase “world class athlete” to mind, and whatever implications that might have on his mental toughness, it certainly calls his durability into question.

The trade is also nice for Tribe GM Mark Shapiro because it has everyone talking about the time when Shapiro traded Bartolo Colon for three young All-Stars (and one superstud) to be, Grady Sizemore, Cliff Lee, and the since departed Brandon Phillips. Good job there Mark, yes, but not enough to get you out from under the Curse of Wahoo. This one won't be either.

But speaking of getting out from under The Curse, we have to be happy for the big fella on that point. What could be better than going from Wahoo to Bernie Brewer? So cheers to C.C. -- all the best to ya' Big Fella. Better bring us a couple, Bernie B. We're prone to spillin' that first one.

Nadal Beats Federer in Global Country Club Tournament Championship

Rafael Nadal won the Wimbledon tennis tournament championship yesterday over Roger Federer in what some are calling the greatest tennis match ever played. We are told, breathlessly, that Federer is the greatest tennis player of all time, and that we are watching two all-time greats at the height of their rivalry. ~Yawn~

We saw some of the match, and thought that it was entertaining; but not in a way that’s much different from watching a good game of one-on-one hoops at the local gymnasium. We like tennis -- think that it’s fun to play sometimes -- but it’s hard for us to become too excited about the all-time greatness of Federer or Nadal because if tennis weren’t a country club sport, we might not know who these guys are.

It must be fewer than 1% of the number of folks who have the access and opportunity to discover and nurture a talent for sports like football, baseball, basketball, or soccer who have that same access and opportunity to do the same with tennis. As such, when we’re watching Federer and Nadal, we’re watching the best athletes of the country club set. The best of the ones whose mummies and daddies bought them rackets, took them to the club, hired them private coaches, and sent them to tennis camps. It’s a very small subset of mummies and daddies who do these things.

The success of this year’s Wimbledon women’s finalists, sisters Venus and Serena Williams, underscores the impact of this disparity in access and opportunity because their father so successfully gambled to take advantage of it. The story goes that Richard Williams saw a female tennis player receive a $30,000 check on television and decided that his next two children would play tennis. He realized that, as he puts it, “[y]ou don't have to be brought up in the country club. You can actually come out of the ghetto and play tennis.” Williams admits that, “[w]hen we got started in tennis, it was to go out and make a lot of money.” Of course, the Williams family has made many millions in tennis, but there simply aren’t very many parents out there with Richard Williams’ vision, drive, and tolerance for risk.

Which is all fine for the Williamses, and Nadal, and Federer; and congratulations to them all for reaching the top of their restricted-access field. We at Cleveland Frowns will continue to admire the beauty of a good tennis match, and will continue to look forward to a better day, when improved economic conditions, social justice, and increases in leisure time and access to athletic facilities will make for a less-risky environment for Richard Williams-type child rearing so that we might be more compelled by the individual greatness of professional tennis players. Until then, we’ll try our best to convince ourselves that it really did bother Federer to lose yesterday.

Excelsior.

Thank You, Terry Pluto . . .

for writing this, in response to pieces like this, in which the authors seem to rejoice in LeBron's recent proclamation that New York is his favorite city and that Akron is his fifth favorite City. Cleveland didn't make his top five list. These authors point fingers at the Cavs, saying things like "Thus far the Cavs have looked like the same old bumbling franchise that had the enormous fortune of winning the 2003 lottery when an otherworldly talent from just down the road happened to be available."

Same old bumbling franchise? Really? The same Cavs who were a LeBron missed layup away from taking the NBA Champion Celtics to a Game 7 overtime in the Eastern Conference semis? The same Cavs who were the second to last team standing in the NBA two seasons ago? Sure. Why let logic get in the way of the "let's watch LeBron crush Cleveland by leaving" meme?

Thankfully, Mr. Pluto intervenes:

"Listen to the talking heads on TV, most of whom don't believe James actually likes Northeast Ohio. They can't imagine anyone really wanting to live here. We're Devil's Island, only with worse weather. So James has to leave, because they would leave if they were James.


Some media types insist they've heard "from those close to James" that the Cavs star will head east the moment his contract expires in 2010. They point to how the Knicks and Nets are cleaning up their salary-cap situations, creating room to bid for James in 2010.

How about this scoop? James is now hanging around with SpongeBob SquarePants, and the two were spotted chomping crabby patties at the Krusty Krab. He must be ticketed for Bikini Bottom in 2010, not just making a cartoon for kids stressing the need to exercise.

Here's a little logic: NBA rules say the Cavs can offer James one more year and about $20 million more than any other team. This is not baseball, where Boston (Manny Ramirez), the Chicago White Sox (Albert Belle), Philadelphia (Jim Thome) and Texas (Kevin Millwood) can outbid a Cleveland team for its stars on an open market.

Here's a little history: The last player to walk away from a maximum contract (the kind James will be offered) to sign for less with another team was center Shaquille O'Neal, when he left Orlando for Los Angeles in 1996. When other big-name free agents such as Steve Nash moved in the summer, it was
because their teams did not offer a maximum deal."

Good points, all.

Dan Wetzel at Yahoo Sports, rightly points out in the above linked Danny Ferry hit piece that "LeBron doesn’t need New York to cash in as a media superstar or a marketing sensation – he’s making hundreds of millions in endorsements in Northeast Ohio. This is a different era and as big and bold as New York is, it isn’t the only place anymore. The guy signed a $105 million Nike deal out of an Akron high school, after all." Yet Wetzel persists, like others, in explaining LeBron's Newyorkophilic proclamations as digs at the Cavs front office -- "shots across the Cavaliers' bough," and sure signs that he'll leave for the East Coast in the summer of 2010.

The point that nobody makes in these "LeBron is leaving" pieces is that LeBron has every incentive to make New Yorkers and Clevelanders think that he might leave for the Knicks or Nets. Look at all the love he gets from these folks. If he plans to stay in Cleveland, it certainly doesn't hurt him any to have New Yorkers weak-kneed for another few years at the prospect of him joining their team. It only helps him sell more shoes, and whatever else he wants to sell. It only gets him more attention. One might say that if this were the case, LeBron wouldn't want to put the Cavs front office and fans on edge in such a way. But we don't know what LeBron has told the Cavs front office behind closed doors. And he knows that the fans here will always love him while he's here. And a little anxiety probably even helps. And if he does decide to stay in Cleveland, it will be that much more of an emotional victory for us here. He'll be that much more of a hero after getting us all worked up. And he can sit back at a press conference, wink, and tell us that he was going to stay all along -- that he was just pumping the New Yorkers up to sell more shoes. This might not be the case, but we have no idea that it's not, and given LeBron's incentives to make everyone think that he would leave, it's foolish to discuss LeBron's statements about New York without keeping this in mind.

Thanks to Matt Sussman at Deadspin for the links and the photoshopped image.

Update: Excellent piece on this topic here at Waiting for Next Year, and Greg Doyel of CBS Sportsline weighs in nicely here.

Curse of Wahoo Update

Yesterday, Ben Keeler at the Akron Beacon Journal website politics.ohio.com linked to our essay on the Curse of Chief Wahoo. Last week, Kyle at the Chief Source linked to the piece at his site, and Keeler linked to it at the Keeler Report. Yet despite this exposure, and our own not insignificant efforts to get folks to sign our online petition to end the Curse of Chief Wahoo, only 29 have signed so far. These results and the comments here and at the above mentioned sites show just how strongly folks feel about Wahoo. Commenters on these sites have called us "crazy," "foolish," "lunatics" and "f*cking idiots." Yet nobody has articulated a good reason why Cleveland should cling to the only racial caricature currently accepted in American society -- one that potentially mocks the genocide of our nation's first people and reinforces the image of Natives as anachronistic savages -- as the symbol of our baseball team and a symbol for our City. Further, folks' willingness to dismiss the idea of a curse is at least amusing. Is basic karmic justice that hard to understand? Apparently. Should it be? No. Please please please sign and pass on our petition if you want to help end Cleveland's curse. Otherwise, enjoy whatever exquisite sporting misery will be put on our plate next. The Drive. The Fumble. The Shot. The Move. The Ninth Inning of Game Seven. There's no reason to think that it can't and won't continue to get worse. All of the Natives buried in these parts give us plenty of reason to think that it will. Meanwhile, the Indians continue to suck.

Note: The photo at the top shows Chief Wahoo on a William & Mary football helmet. Weird. There's obviously some more interesting history to chase down here, which we will do our best to do. Stay tuned.