Friday Picktorial

Shea Hey's Coachie Ballgames has some advice for us to consider when we pick games involving teams from New York, especially the Jets. Please leave your advice as to who to pick this weekend in the comments. Take it away, Ballgames:

Hiya Frownie Faithful...it's your old pal Coachie Ballgames here to warn you to stay away from the Jets this season.

Sure, it might not seem like a bold theory. Gang Green hangs in at 4-3 in the suddenly frisky AFC East. But as New York sports radio Boss Mike Francesa barked after the Raider loss, in between generous gulps of his omnipresent diet coke, "duh Jets....ahh bad, folks. Deah's no othuh way....to put it. Deah baaad."

Of course, Grade-A chumps like Francesa are exactly the problem. On the Friday before the Jets debacle of a loss in Oakland, Francesa picked the Jets, laying three points. He smugly predicted that "Favre will slice....and dice...the Raiduh secuhndary. Mahk my words, he will have a....field day." Francesa then ignored everything he said on the Monday following the loss, sagely informing us of the the Jets' badness as if he had known all along.

Just another bad, overhyped team in Chump City aka the Big Apple. Sure, to the rest of the country New York may come across as a city of sporting dominance, basking in the glow of its many championships, but this is really only true for Yankees fans. But save for occassional Giant success, this is a city of sporting losers on par with Philly, and dare I say it? Cleveland. Ok, so maybe not C-Town. But think about it, what if you're a Met/Jet/Knick fan? All three have won titles, last in 1986, 1969 and 1973 respectively. If you're under the age of 30 you got nothing.

Why do we take such bad teams to heart? Put bluntly, people come here from all around the country and all around the world for one thing, to make money. The desperate hustle to make it requires outward false bravado, the kind of baseless self-esteem that leads to such empty phrases as "The Capitol of the World." When we get fading stars at the end of their rope, just looking to cash in, we bite, so needy for an actual star, an actual success story, to hitch our horses to.

Brett Favre is just the latest to come cash in. Storming in guns a-blazin', tight Wrangler jeans hugging that overgrown boy-body. The tri-state media and fans swooned like a little girl's first crush. His jersey sold more in one day than any in history. No more flawed heroes like Whine Chrebet and Vinny, this was the real thing. This very site trumped Favre's 'unretirement' earlier this season, but Frownie didn't account for the toxic combination of the already overhyped boy-man with the pathetically groping New York fan base. Don't forget this as the season plays out.

Ed's note: How do you think things will play out this weekend? Games of interest include (home team in CAPS):

Florida -6.5 over Georgia (neutral site)

Texas -3.5 over Texas Tech (neutral site)

BROWNS -1.5 over Ravens

TITANS -4.5 over Packers

BRONCOS -3 over Dolphins

COLTS -6 over Patriots

REDSKINS -1.5 over Steelers

Last week was a slow week for commenter picks. Big Dood takes commenter of the week for the following combination of conciseness, clarity, and and accuracy: "KM is right about the Jints. The Curtain can't block anything. Jail. Break."

We'll be back with NCAA picks tomorrow, NFL on Sunday.

Philly Shows Cleveland How to Kill a Curse

We owe the good people of Philadelphia an apology for suggesting that they should all be held responsible for the actions of a few bad apples. Apparently curses don't work that way.

And we suppose that we were too quick to dismiss the Curse of William (Billy) Penn as well. Had we looked further into this, we'd have learned that there was, in fact, "a gentlemen's agreement" that provided that the Philadelphia Art Commission would not approve a building that rose above the William Penn statue that sits atop Philly's City Hall. Of course, breaking a gentlemen's agreement is a big deal, particularly when nothing is done to make up for it, as was the case circa 1987 when folks started building skyscrapers in Philly that dwarfed the size of City Hall.

What sets Philadelphia apart from Cleveland is that some folks in Philly recognized the disrespect that was causing their curse, were in a position to atone for it, and did so. "On June 18, 2007, ironworkers from Local Union 401 helped raise the final beam in the construction of the Comcast Center at 17th Street ... in downtown Philadelphia. The Comcast Center is currently the tallest building in the city at 975 ft (297.2 m). In an attempt to end the curse, workers John Joyce and Dan Ginion attached a small figurine of Billy Penn to the beam [pictured above], along with the traditional American flag and small evergreen tree."

And it was as simple as that. Once a modicum of respect for the broken gentlemen's agreement had been displayed, the curse lifted, and the people of Philly are now celebratinig their World Champion baseball team just over a year later. Meanwhile, we in Cleveland continue to cling to a racial caricature that mocks the genocide of Native Americans as we wallow in the misery caused by the failures of our town's ballteams. If breaking a gentlemen's agreement is bad, what about all of those treaties?

We congratulate the good people of Philadelphia, and hold them up as a shining example of how to deal with a curse brought on by disrespect of those who came before us.

Knock his head off, Rocco!

Rocco Baldelli goes deep in the top of the seventh to tie the score against the team from Rocky Balboa's hometown. Uncle Paulie has to be torn up about this.

If Tampa loses, we might blame Joe Maddon for not going with David Price to start the seventh with a view toward finishing the game. They had all the momentum. We hope Rocco gets another at bat tonight.

Horn of Plenty: Cavs Opening Night Review and Two Picks for Tonight

Although they lost to the Celtics by 5 points last night, we really liked what we saw from the Cavs, and we're not just talking about the fact that they covered the 6 point spread for us (though that was pretty sweet too). There's a nice recap of the game over at Waiting for Next Year. We agree with pretty much everything the RockKing says here. The Cavs looked like potential champs in the first half, but "reverted right back to old form in the 2nd half last night, using questionable lineups, shoddy defense, sloppy rebounding, stale offense, and giving away turnovers as they allowed the Celtics to gain a lead they would never again relinquish." We suppose it should be easy enough for Coach Brown and the boys to see what they did right, what they did wrong, and adjust accordingly, because it really looked like two different Cavs teams out there last night at different timies. The biggest problem, and RockKing touches on this as well, was the seemingly indefensible decision to use a lineup of Gibson, West, Pavlovic, Varajeao, and Lorenzen Wright for a long stretch in the third and fourth quarters. They probably shouldn't use this lineup again. It seems that they probably shouldn't use any lineup that doesn't have at least one of Z, Williams, or LeBron in it.

One thing that we don't agree with in the WFNY piece is that Mo needs to score more than 11 a night. He hit some big shots, including the three at the end to make it 86-83. Our concern with Mo is that he didn't play any defense. He was shredded by Rondo, who blew by him at will. Mo is certainly capable of playing D if he tries. He just needs to be convinced to get his head in the game on the defensive end. Perhaps the public humiliation he suffered last night on national TV will help there.

Speaking of national TV, why can't every sports broadcasting crew be as good as as TNT's NBA team? These guys are long heads and shoulders above any other network that broadcasts sporting events, from the studio to the court. They're low on self-aggrandizement and statements of the obvious, and high on interesting useful analysis. We can't imagine how much more we'd love watching the NFL if the broadcasts were half as good as TNT's NBA productions.
One observation of the TNT crew that's especially worth noting is Marv Albert's announcement that he was glad to see Delonte West on the court so soon after taking time off to cope with clinical depression. Albert observed that it's particularly difficult for a professional athlete to seek help for such a problem, and gave Delonte some well-deserved props. We expect that Delonte will reap great benefits from confronting his demons, and this will show up in his performance on the court. We wish him the best, of course.

Another thing we wish is that Wally Szcerbiak would hit a wide open shot every once in awhile. If he's not going to make shots, especially the wide open ones, why is he out there? Booby looked awful as well. He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. We wonder if this kid has it in him to improve himself so as to be a legitimate co-star in LeBron's show. His performance last night, as well as the Batman symbol shaved into his hair, indicates to us that he's having a little too much fun since signing his contract extension. In contrast, Pavlovic looked good, and should get more of Gibson's minutes if Gibson can't get it together. In any event, this is the deepest Cavs team we've seen in years (ever?), and we expect their performance will only improve as Brown learns to use this talent in more effective combinations.

A final note regarding last night's game, we're confused about Converse's new ad campaign that ran during last night's game. "Belief is stronger than doubt." What does this mean? We say, "we believe in the Curse of Chief Wahoo." You say, "I doubt there is a Curse of Chief Wahoo." Does that mean we win? What if you say "I believe there is no Curse of Chief Wahoo" instead? Then what? Stalemate? Hmmm. We believe that this new campaign is dumb, and doubt it will help Converse sell more shoes.

But we do have two picks for tonight that will help you buy more shoes.

First, they're taking action on the result of the rest of World Series Game 5, and we're doubling up on the Rays tonight to recover from what the book did to us on Monday. As commenter "d" pointed out yesterday, most of the sportsbooks called the Phils winners of Game 5, even though it's still tied 2-2. Apparently, Vegas (and sportsbook.com) rules mandate that the winner of a suspended baseball game, for wagering purposes, must be determined after the last completed inning. Las Vegas Hilton sportsbook director Jay Kornegay called it "one of those unfortunate, misunderstood rules of betting." What a jerk this guy is. If the rule is so unfortunate, it should be changed. And this awful unfortunate rule was so important, how can the MGM/Mirage get away with doing what they did? Which was to "not consider the Phillies the winner on Monday night and . . . wait until Game 5 is concluded to pay winners." That makes infinitely more sense, but we suppose that if the rule is what the rule is, we'd be upset if we bet the Phillies at an MGM book. The proper thing to do would have been to take a hit in the name of customer service -- pay the Phils wagers, and wait and see on the Tampa plays. In any event, as we said, we're doubling up on the Rays to finish it off tonight. By doubling up, we mean that we are wagering twice the amount tonight that we did on Monday's game, to erase Monday's unfortunate loss, and to punish the books for enforcing their ridiculous rule on us. If the Phillies defy their Curse and beat the Rays, we will suffer our triple punishment, which we'll hardly notice amidst the pain of learning that Philly is not, in fact, cursed. The Pick (Times Two): Rays +135 over Phillies.

While we're piling on Philly tonight, let's take the Raptors +5 over the 76ers. Bill Simmons, who writes so well about the NBA, says this about the Sixers: "You will regret thinking Philly is a sleeper contender in the East. In a league in which you're only as good as your best three guys, the 76ers are paying a second banana (Elton Brand) and a third banana (Andre Iguodala) first banana money, and they're paying a role player (Sam Dalembert) third banana money. . . . . Fundamentally, this can't work for anything beyond 45-47 wins and maybe a second-round appearance … and that's before you factor in the skewed level of expectations already in place, or the fact that, again, they just spent $83 million to reunite the best two guys on a 27-win Clippers team from 2003." This sounds devastatingly convincing to us.

Enjoy the games, folks! We'll be back tomorrow with an entertaining hit-piece on the New York sports fan from New York's own Coachie Ballgames of Shea Hey.

An Opening Tip: Take the Cavs Tonight

Far be it from us to sit out on tonight's season opener in Boston (8PM). The Cavs are back, and feelin' groovy. LeBron says this is the best Cavs team he's played on, and consensus among him and his teammates is that anything short of an NBA Championship will be a failure. Of course, this is a stark contrast to the feeling around the team at the beginning of last season. We won't overthink this. Last season the Cavs had a gloomy camp, and it showed in a dismal start to their season (remember, at one point Barkley said they wouldn't make the playoffs). This season, they had a happy camp, so we'll expect a happy start. They're getting 6 points on the road against the defending champion Celtics. This seems like too many. LeBron loves the big stage, and this is the 08-09 season's first biggest stage. The Cavs are sure to bring their all tonight. We look forward to seeing what that looks like. And we don't buy the Celtics' line that one Championship just makes a team hungrier for another. The team that's never eaten just has to be hungrier, especially when they've come so close. The Celts will unroll another Championship banner tonight while the Cavs' stomachs' rumble. Finally, we don't have to worry about the Curse of Wahoo until playoff time. Of course we're taking the points. Go Cavs Go!

The Pick: Cavaliers +6 over Celtics

A Ray of Hope and Philly's Cursed Misanthropes

Mother Nature, MLB officials, and the ballplayers collaborated to produce an amazing result in Philly last night -- one that dramatically changed the probable outcome of this World Series that the Phillies appeared certain to lock up. We've never seen anything like it. Drama was as high as could be after the game became official in the bottom of the fifth inning with the Phillies leading 2-1. As the rain contined to pour and field conditions continued to worsen, we all wondered, could they really call a World Series game after just four and a half? Of course, nobody wanted to make this decision, so Commisioner Bud Selig and his cabinet waited to suspend the game until the Rays scored the tying run in the top of the 6th. Imagine the sh*tstorm that would have ensued had the Rays not tied this game. On one hand, there'd have been an outcry if the game had been called short. But Selig himself said, after the fact, that he "was not going to allow that to happen." Now imagine the cries of injustice from Philly if he didn't. Wouldn't suspending the game at that point have been "against the rules"? There might be a rule that would allow Bud to do such a thing "in the interests of justice," or something along those lines, but we're not aware of it.

And if he wasn't going to call it a game anyway, why not suspend it earlier, before conditions got so bad? Because Phillies ace Cole Hamels was on the mound, that's why. Hamels had been simply dominant this post-season, and the earlier the game would have been suspended, the longer the Phils would have been without their ace for at least a few more days. But we have to think that such a distraction -- the weather -- had to favor the underdog Rays here. Buster Olney just told us on Sportscenter that Hamels himself said conditions were so bad that he couldn't throw his curveball. Of course the Phillies would have much rather played the remainder of Game 5 without Hamels, but with a 2-1 lead, even if that remainder were an inning or two longer than it otherwise would have been. Underlying this mess is the fact that they should have never started to play this game last night. In failing to suspend the game before conditions got as bad as they did, Selig was attempting to avoid the consequences of this original bad decision, giving the Rays all of the momentum in the process. Selig said that "after meeting with officials and the managers of both the Phillies and the Rays, . . . he decided to go on with the game 'with significant trepidation.' To avoid such a mess in the future, we suggest a bright line rule by which a playoff game is never again started "with significant trepidation."

Consider what a devastating blow this is for the Phils. The Rays have to believe that the Baseball Gods are on their side now. Tampa sluggers Pena and Longoria broke out of their respective 0-for-the-Series slumps just in the nick of time. Now the Rays avoid facing Hamels until at least a decisive Game 7 in Tampa, and they have their two best pitchers (Garza and Shields) slotted to start Games 6 and 7 before the home crowd. And aren't the remaining four innings of Game 5 a perfect place for rookie phenom David Price to shine against a shellshocked Phillies club? (Doesn't Price look like a young Mariano Rivera on that mound)?

Philly got ph*cked. Of course, we'll forgive anyone for believing that the city's franchises (who haven't won anything since 1983) are cursed, but the prevailing idea of what's behind this curse is way off. The purported Curse of William Penn holds that the esteemed founder of the state of Pennsylvania has placed a curse on the city because buildings within the city limits have been built taller than the statue of Penn that sits atop Philadelphia's City Hall (corny video here). How dumb is this? We hardly believe that Mr. Penn's ghost would want to stifle human progress by preventing the utilization of space that we achieve through the modern skyscraper. Look in the mirror Philly. You guys are cursed because you're a$$holes. Actually, let's use "misanthropes" to avoid denigrating a perfectly useful and necessary body part. From cheering the potential paralysis of a Cowboys receiver, to throwing snowballs at TV broadasters, batteries at JD Drew, derision upon their city's own sports heroes, and full bottles of beer at countless unsuspecting sports fans of all stripes, there is no shortage of evidence of the unprecedented misanthropy of Philly fans.

While Philly's curse hasn't been operative for as long as Cleveland's own Curse of Chief Wahoo, shaking it off might not be as easy as simply ditching an offensive logo. The only way we can envision Philadelphia overcoming this curse is by a collective atonement for their various offenses against sports fandom. We realize that all Philly fans aren't bad, but even the good ones must answer for allowing this culture to develop. We recommend a petition signed by just over 50% of the city's registered population by which the signees foreswear the aforementioned behavior. For good measure, this should be combined with a public ceremony in which Philly Mayor Michael Nutter does the same on behalf of the city. If the good people of Philadelphia can't pull this together in the next few days, we expect that the people of Tampa will shortly be celebrating a World Championship baseball club of their own.

Update -- 12:23 PM: We promise we just saw this, from ESPN's Jayson Stark -- "We're pretty sure this won't be the last attack Mother Nature springs on a postseason baseball game. In fact, with the World Series scheduled to stretch into November next year, the chances of a meteorological disaster way worse than this are almost a lock.

"So how about if baseball makes a pact -- right here, right now. The heck with the Fox prime-time schedule. The heck with the old both-sides-have-to-play-in-it mindset. How about this mindset:

"If the weather forecast is scary enough before ANY postseason game to give the commissioner, in his own words, "significant trepidation" about playing, let's not start it. OK? It's that simple. What happened to the Phillies on Monday should never happen to any team in this situation. And Bud Selig knows it."

We Wuz Robbed! Weekend Review and Monday Night Pick

The photo above shows “Evan Longoria’s glove knuckle deep in Jimmy Rollins’ a$$” during the bottom of the first inning of yesterday’s Phillies win over the Rays. Notably, the baseball was in Longoria’s glove at the time this photo was snapped, but amazingly, Rollins was not called out on the play. Rollins ended up scoring the game’s first run shortly thereafter, with the Phils to collect another one before the unjustly prolonged inning was over. Of course, the Phils went on to win the game 10-2, but we’re skeptical at ESPN’s Gene Wojciechowski’s claim that “the blown call didn't decide the game, not even close . . .” Really? Isn’t it impossible to know how the teams’ momentum is affected by an injustice like this? Baseball is, after all, a game of inches. Easy enough for ESPN/Disney/Fox to sweep this one under the rug in a gross example of you-scratch-my-back-I'll-scratch-yours/don't-rock-the-boat/what's-good-for-the-goose-is-good-for-the-gander corporate cronyism, but an error like this is inexcusable. For any major sport to not have instant reply to reverse obvious missed calls like this is inexcusable, and only reinforces the worst conspiracy theories about big time sports. That it might lengthen the game by a few minutes should not matter. They should get the g*ddam calls right. There should be at least one headline piece on all the major sports websites calling for this. It's sad that there isn't.

Of course, even with replay they don’t always get them right, as evidenced by the officials' failure to call Steve Smith out of bounds on a 65-yard touchdown in the fourth quarter of yesterday’s Panthers/Cardinals game. That, a missed extra point by Arizona, and a Kurt Warner interception on a tip deep in Panthers territory left us with a push on yesterday’s second lock of the day, with the Panthers winning by 4. In addition to the aforementioned misfortunes, it’s also worth noting that the line for that game was 4.5 by the time our post closed at Carolina by 5.5, so you’d have been OK had you gone with both of yesterday’s locks. Even with the push, we remain undefeated on our locks of the year (3-0-1).

As for the other action, we should have known better than to go against the Browns in a week when everyone seemed to think they had no chance. As Patrick McManamon pointed out in yesterday’s Beacon Journal (and again today) that seems to be the only time these guys can get it together. Shaun Rogers gave the Browns the best performance by an interior lineman since the team’s return to Cleveland, but the Jags were thin on the offensive line. It’s worth noting that the Jags outgained the Browns, but lost the turnover battle. Once again this week, the Browns had first and goal from the 1 yard line, and failed to score a touchdown. At least this week we were able to get three points out of it. We have no idea what to expect this Sunday against the Ravens. We hope Ryan Tucker can get healthy soon.

The Raiders were a touchdown away from covering when they took the ball with 5 minutes left at their own 20, though we probably shouldn’t have taken them against a “win-ugly” team like Baltimore coming off their big win over the Jets.

Not much to say about Saturday’s action. Texas was whooping Ok. St. in the 3rd quarter as expected, but we were done in by two late Colt McCoy turnovers, as well as a turnover on downs at the Ok. St. 1, that left Texas winning by 4, but not covering. In other news, Kansas really isn’t that good (thanks, kylmra). And yes, we’ll never go against the yoga team in a big game again.

As for the Monday Night matchup, we’re taking the Titans -4 over the Colts. We’ve been calling the Colts the “old guard” all season, and won’t back down tonight. We figure it’s easy enough for folks to say that the Titans haven’t played anyone this season, and go to the old reliable Colts for a “sleeper” pick (how much fun to pick the explosive Colts as a Monday night sleeper!). We suppose that folks will look at the Colts' 31-3 whooping of the Ravens, then see that the Titans only beat the Ravens 13-10. But the Ravens are just the kind of team to play with wild inconsistency. The Titans are not that kind of team. Conventional wisdom holds that they’ll bust the Colts in the mouth tonight -- that they will “use the combination of stout defense, a strong running game and solid (not spectacular) QB play as a winning formula.” We think that conventional wisdom will prevail tonight.

At least in the football game. As for the baseball, hell, since we're already in deep enough with these Rays, we might as well root up against what folks seem to think is an inevitable Phillies win tonight. Rays +165 over the Phillies.

Enjoy the games tonight, folks. We'll be back throughout the week with a potpourri of goodies.

NFL Week 8: A Big Clock and Two Big Locks

Time to shake off yesterday’s Big 12 debacle in some more familiar territory . . .

We’ll start with two (TWO!) locks of the year, the first in a game being played in some less familiar territory.

We love the Saints +3 over the Chargers in the game to be played in London's Wembley Stadium. Both teams have been inconsistent, but we think the Saints will react better to the trip overseas than the Chargers will. If there’s any place in the U.S.A. that one can go and not feel like he’s in the U.S.A., it’s probably New Orleans. The Saints practically live in Europe already, so this is almost like a home game for them. And with approximately half their team about to be suspended for four games for violating the leagues unfairly named “steroid policy,” they should be playing with an extra sense of urgency. Can someone explain why it’s illegal for these guys to take water pills? Annnyway, the loss of Reggie Bush hurts the Saints, but will probably be overblown by those who wager on this game. The Saints are good enough without Bush to beat a Chargers team in disarray, and circumstances dictate that they’re more likely to. Lock it up.

For the second lock of the year of the day:

It’s the Cardinals +4 over the Panthers. This seems like at least one point too many for the Panthers to be giving to a Cardinals team that looks like it’s really coming together. We’re shocked shocked shocked that 86% of the action at sportsbook is on the Panthers here. Color us contrary. The Cards have the offensive firepower to hang with anyone, and their defense can be stout. It should be extra stout against a Panthers offense that will be missing two (TWO!) starting offensive linemen. The 1:00 start might pose a problem for the team from the west coast, but Kurt Warner is used to getting up early on Sundays to go to church anyway. Lock this one up too.

For the non-locks of the year of the day, we have:

The Raiders +7.5 over the Ravens. This looks like too many points to lay with a Ravens team that doesn’t have much going for it on offense. The Raiders have hung with the Bills and the Chargers this season, in addition to their two wins. And those games were when Kiffin was coaching. They’ve had another week to put the Kiffin issue behind them, and should be looking to build off of last week’s win over the Jets. QB Jamarcus Russell and WR Javon Walker looked like they were starting to get something going there.

In the day’s biggest game, we’ll take the Giants +3 over the Steelers. And it’s not just because Steelers fans can’t spell. We think the Giants are at least a little bit better coached than the Pittsburgh team. The Steelers might be able to pass against the Giants, and might also be able to stifle the Giants passing attack, but the Giants D-line should give Big Ben fits. The Giants loss to the Browns looked like just one of those games, and the Giants should have learned from it. We’ll take the points here too.

And that’s where it stops with taking the points today. Browns +7? Nooooo thank you. God they’re such a flipping mess. Imagine having to go to Jacksonville after the week they’ve had. Both sides made mistakes in handling the Winslow/staph issue, but Winslow’s just a kid who plays football. The Browns are run by corporate execs who should be trained in handling these matters. Just another ugly demonstration of the depths of the organizational ineptitude. Why wouldn’t it carry over onto the field? Maybe Anderson will finally give us the 4-30 we’ve been waiting for. Two INTs? Three? (We do realize it's not all Derek's fault). Jaguars -7 over the Browns.

There’s also a World Series game tonight. We’ll take Akron native Andy Sonnenstine to pitch the Rays -105 to a win over the Phils to even the Series at 2-2. Moyer winning last night was one of those things, wasn’t it? Nice to see a 46-year old pitch a game like that in the World Series. We expect regression to the norm tonight, with the youthful Rays bouncing back quickly from last night's late late late night affair.

Enjoy the games folks! We’ll be back tomorrow with a pick for Colts/Titans.

NCAA Week 9 -- Some Bigguns Today

Before we get to the rest of today’s picks, we wish to comment on the remarkable photo above that we found this morning while searching for an illustration for our Kansas/Tech pick. Of particular note is the shirt that the lady in the middle is wearing. This photo suggests that it’s perfectly legal to wear a shirt like this to a football game. Yet, we’ve never seen anyone wear a shirt like this to a football game, and wonder why this is the case. We’ve been to lots of football games. Are we not going to the right ones? We hope that anyone who has any info on this issue would be so kind as to leave it in the comments.

Now for the rest of today's picks:

Texas -11.5 (at home) over Oklahoma State -- 3:30 PM EST: We’ve been riding the Horns for a couple of weeks here and we’re going to stick with ‘em today against the Cowboys. Much like Texas Tech, we think the Cowboys are paper tigers. It’s hard for us to trust State coach and inveterate nutbag Mike Gundy in a big spot. This ESPN report shows us that the Longhorns are taking the right approach to this game with coach Mack Brown “constantly warning his players against eating the poison cheese" of believing all the good things being said and written about them.” (Poison cheese! Yikes! Don’t eat that!) Meanwhile the Cowboys sound like our stupid Browns did when they seemed to think that they were a better team just because they had a bunch of prime time games on the schedule. Check out this quote from Oklahoma State offensive coordinator Gunter Brewer: "Any time you're on a national stage and you've had a little success, I think it lends itself to give kids a little more confidence than they normally have . . . You feel good when you're winning, and that's a good thing. That's what you want your program to get to and aspire to play games like this." Um, yeah Gunt, winning’s good, but the other side’s on national TV too. This sounds like either nonsense or dangerous pat-self-on-the-backery to us. And while the Cowboys’ schedule hasn’t been as soft as the Techers’ has, we think that they snuck up on Mizzou in a classic trap game when they beat them for their biggest win of the year. Folks will expect a let down from Texas, and it’s generally been a good bet to aim at #1 in recent years, but Colt McCoy looks like he might just be something really special. He just announced that he’ll be back for his senior year. Super special. The kid’s setting himself up to be the lead pipe lock first pick in the 2010 NFL Draft. Hell, we’d use the pick on him in ’09 and wait a year. Is that legal? Would be a lot cooler if it was. Anyway, it’s Colt’s world. We just pick in it. Hook ‘em. Yeeeeah.

Tennessee +5 (at home) over Alabama -- 7:45 PM EST: This is not easy for us to do, but we’re going to hold our noses and do it. We’ve seen both of these teams play this year, and believe there’s just about no way Tennessee beats this Alabama team. Look at Tennessee’s results this year. Every decent team they’ve played has whooped them. And ‘Bama is better than decent. They do yoga, for Pete’s sake. But this one has Bad Action Bros. written all over it. Bama just looks way too easy. And look…the line has moved down from 5.5 in favor of Tennessee. Tricky! We’ll go with Phat Phil and the Vols here. Phat Phil says this game is really really important to him. We hope so. If we lose this we will take our forty lashes for overthinking, will ask the Bad Action Bros. to buy us a Red Bull and Vodka with their winnings, and will never bet against the yoga team again.

Penn State -2 over Ohio State -- 8:00 PM EST: Now time for the real biggun. We’re pulling for State here. Penn State is our only chance for relief against the anti-Big Ten college football snobbery that we’ve been suffering for the better part of the last two years. Facts are that this Ohio State team, even if they beat the Nittany Lions tonight, won’t come so close as to sniff the BCS title game. Any Big 12, or SEC team with only one loss gets in over them, as do the Trojans. Chances are slim to none here won’t be less than two of these teams with only one loss. So why not pull for the Lions to muck things up and restore some Big Ten pride? We’ll admit that we haven’t seen them play this season, but their scoreboards have looked pretty sweet. We keep hearing the line that Penn State can’t win in the Shoe because they never have, but streaks are made to be broken. Just ask Nebraska, who recently saw Mizzou win in their house for the first time in decades. And Beanie Wells is hurt again. Waaaaaaah. Is anyone else getting tired of this sissyhood? Beanie needs to learn how to take better care of his body. For starters, he might ask the Alabama offensive line about the yoga they’ve been doing. Oddly enough, those guys haven’t missing any games to injury. There’s another interesting storyline here with Terrelle Pryor facing the school from his backyard that he rejected to attend Ohio State. We wonder if he won’t be having at least a little doubt about that decision tonight. It should be a good learning experience for the kid, who stands in sharp contrast to “late-blooming redshirt junior Darryll Clark,” who leads the Penn State offense. According to ESPN.com, “Penn State has been in the red zone a staggering 41 times, scoring touchdowns on 32 of those trips. Clark has thrown seven red zone TDs, with just one pick. . . . Clark also avoids the negative plays which destroy drives. He is excellent at throwing away the ball and avoiding sacks.” Sounds awesome. Plus, he's from Youngstown. What's not to like. Clark will make the Bucks will miss Lawrence Wilson a lot more tonight than they did last week. We’re looking to Penn State to reverse recent history, and carry the torch for the Big Ten all the way to the title game. Lions. Rawr.

Enjoy the games, folks! We’ll be back for the pros tomorrow.

NCAA Quik-Pik -- Kansas -1 over Texas Tech

We'll be back with the rest of today's college football picks shortly but this game starts at noon so we have to get it in quick. Take Kansas here. Tech comes in undefeated with a high octane offense, and probably the best receiver in the nation with Michael Crabtree, last year's Biletnikoff award winner. Kansas has two losses, one to South Florida, and one last week to Oklahoma, who they played tough, losing 45-31. That Oklahoma game should prepare them well for the Tech Techers, who have played precisely noone. Seriously, look at this schedule. Massachusetts? SMU? Eastern motherflipping Washington??? Kansas will be playing there a$$es off here to avoid taking another hit to their bowl prospects, and to restore some pride to a reeling Big 12 North Division. Texas Tech will be looking ahead to a gauntlet that has them playing three top ten teams in the next three weeks. We'll like Kansas at home. Hook 'em, Hawks. Um . . . Ca-caw.

The Pick: Kansas -1 over Texas Tech

Lovely Day for a Pick-nic

It's that time of the week, folks. Yee-haw! Some bigguns this week. Who will YOU pick?

Games of interest include (home team in CAPS):

NORTH CAROLINA -3 over Boston College

Illinois -2.5 over WISCONSIN

Georgia -2 over LSU

Michigan St. -4 over MICHIGAN

KANSAS -1.5 over Texas Tech

Notre Dame -11 over WASHINGTON (Willingham's revenge?)

PANTHERS -4 over Cardinals

Bills -1.5 over DOLPHINS

JAGUARS -7 over Browns

and the two real bigguns

STEELERS -2.5 over Giants

and

Penn State -2.5 over OHIO STATE

Bucks dogs in the Shoe!!! Tell us! Tell us who! Who do you think will come through? Who will YOU Pick?

Commenter of the Week goes to the talented Mike D., who saved our good friend d, and others from walking the plank with Washington State +43. USC beat them 69-0 (Crikey!) Mike D. said, "D look at what wsu has done all year - they consistently are getting blown out by similar margins regardless of venue and usc will be keeping starters in as long as possible to make the blowout as big as they can to try and get people to forget about oregon state."

Thanks Mike D.!

Also a special shout to our pals kylmra and ksams. mra was 0-4 on his picks, and ksams was a remarkable 0-6 over the weekend. It's not easy to go 0-6. GET IN THE GAME, BOYS!

Let's have those picks.

An Open Letter

Dear Guy Who Uses the Middle of the Three Urinals in the 4N Men's Room Even When Nobody Else is Using the Other Two,

We write to kindly ask you to reconsider some of the choices that you make when you use the 4N urinals. As you know, bathroom real estate is a scarce resource in our office, and our urinals have been installed quite closely to one another as a result. So when you use the middle urinal, you force any other person who wishes to use a urinal to sidle up shoulder to shoulder with you to do so. Surely you have noticed this.

While there are certainly many aspects to the debate over the merits of peeing while touching another man who is also peeing, we only ask you to consider one of them. That is, when we pee when we are so close to one another, your pee is more likely to wind up on our shoes. This happens when little drops of your pee splash off the urinal wall onto the floor and onto our shoes. While there are certainly many aspects to the debate over the merits of your pee being on my shoes, we only ask you to consider one. That is, that the chemicals contained in your pee eat away at our fresh shoe shine, thus requiring us to pay for our shoes to be shined more frequently than we would if you did not pee on our shoes.

Which brings us to another related issue. Have you ever noticed the little pool of water at the bottom of our urinals on 4N? We strongly suspect that this pool of water is where are supposed to aim our pee. Not only does peeing in this small pool of water help us avoid the problems inherent in our pee splashing off the urinal walls onto other things, but it creates a soothing sound -- like the flow of a river. Consider the benefits that this sound might create for some of our more modest co-workers who might be in one of the restroom stalls trying to -- please excuse the colloquialism -- "pinch a loaf." The soothing sound of our pee flowing into the pool of water creates cover for our friends in the stalls to make a little extra noise of their own that they otherwise might not feel as comfortable making. This helps to relieve the pressure in our friends' bowels, and thus, the entire office.

We hope that you will consider these small items in the spirit of creating a more productive office environment for all of us.

Excelsior,

Cleveland Frowns

PS: Note that we would pee in one of the stalls if you insist on using the middle urinal, but flushing the toilets uses substantially more water than flushing the urinals, thus, flushing mere urine down the toilets would put us out of line with our office's "Green" policy. Thank you.

World See-Rays

Tonight the World Series kicks off in Tampa with the Tampa Bay Rays favored by 140/100 odds to beat the Philadelphia Phillies.

This is a matchup of two talented teams, but the Rays are generally viewed as the superior team from the superior league. We think this is generally correct. Of course, the superior team from the superior league doesn’t always win, but we think there are other good reasons to back the Rays in this Series.

First, we detect at least a hint of big-city snobbery in those who support the Phillies. “Tampa? Tampa doesn’t deserve a baseball team, let alone a World Series winner,” they say. Of course, the Rays have had trouble drawing fans to the ballpark, but Tampa’s not a huge city, and the product on the field has been dismal until this season. The folks of Tampa have done a fine job supporting their NFL and NHL teams, and of course, a new generation of Rays fans will be invigorated by this World Series appearance. Florida is one of the ten most populous States in the Union. Baseball in Florida is a good thing. It provides useful role models for Florida youth, and incentives for engineers and architects to invent exciting new technology for non-domed stadiums in the hot weather environment. The idea that Tampa doesn’t deserve a World Series winner, or that it would be better for baseball for the old-guard Philadelphia team to win seems to be grounded in useless snootery (not to be confused with useful snootery).

Some folks say that it’s bad if Tampa wins because a Tampa win would perpetuate payroll inequality that these folks say is dragging the game down. This is a thought-provoking argument, but the Royals, Pirates, Twins, and even our Indians provide plenty of evidence in favor of the imposition of a salary cap. A team like this year’s Rays provides us some hope, and keeps our GM on his toes. A little spice. Nice.

Interestingly, “this year’s fall classic marks the third straight year that one of the two ball clubs has had a week off between the end of the championship series and the start of the World Series. The 2006 Detroit Tigers and the 2007 Colorado Rockies appeared to suffer from the time off.” It makes sense that the Phillies will too, given the split-second timing involved in the playing of the baseball, as Phillies Manager Charlie Manuel has noted. At no other time all season do these guys have a week off, yet here they are forced to sit on their hands for a week before the biggest series of their lives. A Rays win here might force MLB to come up with a more reasonable way to schedule these games so as to reward, instead of punish, the team that wins its league championship series first.

On the subject of rule changes, it also seems likely that if the AL continues to beat up on the NL, the NL will be more likely to ditch the DH that appears to be dragging it down.

Speaking of AL v. NL, it’s also pretty cool that a few Rays had a hand in winning the All-Star game that earned the AL home field advantage in this Series. Note that Phillies closer Brad Lidge took the “L.”

Finally, while we had nothing against the name “Devil Rays,” a Rays win here certainly strengthens the argument in favor of our Tribe ditching Chief Wahoo.

The Pick(s): We’ll take the Rays to win the Series at -140, and to win the opener tonight at -102. Should be fun, either way.

The Weekend Football Picks

We're not in a position to overanalyze the picks this weekend. Here they are, college and pro:

Texas -4.5 (at home) over Missouri: We think Muschamp has something going with this Texas D, and #1 can't fall every week. Plus, who doesn't love a receiver that blocks downfield?

Michigan State +3 (at home) over Ohio State: It's the ten-year anniversary of Plaxico leading the Spartans to a shocking victory over Eddie George's seemingly invincible Bucks. This is the biggest game the Lansing crowd has seen in some time. Cleveland native Brian Hoyer should be especially fired up for his chance to beat the Bucks. And Lawrence Wilson is a huge loss for the Bucks. This is . . . Sparta.

Browns +7.5 over the Redskins: We like commenter paula's point about Lucky Stars Anderson's luck coming in streaks. And we think Ryan Tucker might just be the difference for this team, and might have been the reason that Anderson had so much time to throw against the Gints. He's a mean bastard, we hear. And as frustrated as we get with the ownership of our Brownies, we'd take 'em over Dan Snyder any day.

Raiders +3 (at home) over the Jets: We'll maintain our support for the Raiders. This line is weirdly small. 97% of the action is on the Jets. Any given Sunday and all that. Plus we hear that McFadden is healthy.

Bills PICK (at home) over the Chargers: Why not the Bills here? That's a good Cardinals team they lost to, after a long trip. We like them back at home against an inconsistent Chargers team that we believe is on the decline.

Vikings +3 over the Bears: Along the same lines, why is 90% of the action on the Bears here? After a rough start, the Vikes are making progress. And even if they aren't the Superbowl contender that so many thought, why can't they beat the Bears here? Aren't the Bears overachieving anyway? We expect regression to the norm here.

Dolphins -3 (at home) over the Ravens: Y'all know we love the Fish. Joey Porter's maturity just gives us another reason. We wouldn't be surprised to see the Phins in the AFC Championship game.

Lions +9.5 over Texans: The Millen liberation must eventually show up on the field. Roy Williams' departure provides extra incentive for the team to focus. And the Texans giving 9.5? We'll take the points.

That's all for this weekend. Good luck, and enjoy the games.

Who Will YOU Pick?

Frownie sent Sam to get your picks.

Games of interest include (home team in CAPS):

TEXAS -4 over Missouri

Ohio State -3 at MICHIGAN STATE

BILLS pick'em vs. Chargers

DOLPHINS -3 over Ravens

BEARS -3 over Vikings

Jets -3 at RAIDERS

and the most interesting one of them all,

REDSKINS -7.5 over Browns

Who, who, who will you pick? And why? We'll be back with ours soon.

Commenter of the week for last week goes to "kylmra," for this: "When a 5-0 team is a 1pt favorite over a 1-4 team, I’ll take the 1-4 team every time…just because. Mississippi St +1 over Vandy." Mra also called the Cards upset over the Cowboys and Florida's big win over LSU. We're not going to mention what Smittypop and "d" said about those games. GET IN THE GAME BOYS!

Jim Tressel Thinks Deep

Some in the media and now his own team are second-guessing Coach Tressel's decision to bench senior quarterback Todd Boeckman in favor of developing freshman phenom Terrelle Pryor, noting that the Bucks have the worst passing attack in the Big Ten, and are ranked second to last in total offense.

According to this report by the AP, Tressel was asked on Tuesday "if he has misgivings about thrusting Pryor into the starting job and benching Boeckman." Tressel's response:

''Do I have any misgivings? I'm not sure what a misgiving is.''

Which raises an excellent question. Which is, what could a misgiving possibly be to a man who long ago left the realm of uncertainty and doubt? A leader like Tressel has no time for things like misgivings. He only has time to assess conditions, and act based on his assessments.

And that is why they call him Teflon Tressel.


Thanks to Neal and Rachel's Wisconsin Adventures for the Tressel image, and for directing our attention to this site where you can make your own South Park characters. Fun fun fun.

Any Given Monday

We couldn't have imagined how quickly the town and the team would respond to Frownie's inspiring run for Mayor of Cleveland. It's simply amazing that the Browns were able to thoroughly whip a Giants team that most people thought was the NFL's best.

Could it be that a team that played so maddeningly poorly in the first four games is actually for real? Did they miss Ryan Tucker that much? Donte Stallworth? Is the team better with more Steve Heiden and less Winslow? Is Steve Young not batsh*t crazy for suggesting on this morning's Sportscenter that Derek Anderson was one of the NFL's five best quarterbacks?

Maybe.

But maybe this was just one of those nights. One of those nights for which the Browns have the best NFL fans in the world to thank. The enthusiasm in the air at the Muni Lot was palpable, and palpably different than it was before the dismal opener against the Cowboys (the stormy weather takes the Steelers tailgate out of this analysis). We're chalking this up to Monday Night -- the extra energy folks seemed to have from knocking off work a few hours early on a Monday, to knock a few back before some NFL football in the place where the first Monday Night Football game took place.

So maybe we fans deserved this one. At least for this one night. But we're not going to get carried away here. Not after the way this season started. For now it's safer to assume that last night was a perfect storm -- a classic trap game for the Giants who overlooked a well-rested and talented (however mismanaged) Browns team that fed off the singular excitement of the crowd and hit on a number of big plays from which the Giants couldn't recover. If anything, the win over the Giants shows an absurd inconsistency in the team's performance that shows just how undisciplined and poorly managed this bunch of talent is.

In any event, last night's remarkable result makes next week's game in Washington significantly more interesting.

Are You Ready for Some Football? Sorry. No Football Here, Folks. Just the Browns.

The Browns return to Monday Night Football tonight after a 5 year absence. And the best thing that a Browns fan can do to numb the pain is to run, don't walk to sportsbook.com to take the Giants while they're only favored by 8 -- the line has been bet down after reaching 9 earlier this week.

We suppose that the bye week after the win over the hapless Bengals has given folks some time to plant their heads back in the sand about what a mess the Browns are.

This line should be well into the double digits.

Why isn't it?

The attendant at our parking lot this morning offered one reason why when he said to us, "hey, look at all of those upsets yesterday. Anything can happen, right?" So perhaps folks have been burned by playing favorites. They think they'll be clever by going against the grain to take the Browns tonight. But what happened on the football fields yesterday has nothing to do with what will happen tonight.

ESPN.com blogger James Walker asks this question about tonight's game: "Are [the Browns] the talented collection of players that many felt were playoff contenders in the AFC? Or are [they] an over-hyped, underachieving group that might fail to duplicate the success of the 10-win 2007 season?"

We think that this question was conclusively answered in the pre-season. Over-hyped and underachieving is an understatement. The Browns' performance on the field this season (and pre-season) has shown nothing but a startling lack of discipline and leadership. We could blame Crennel, we could blame the Browns superstars who weren't focused on football during the off-season, and we could blame the front office for, among other things, so obviously failing in not getting anything of value for Derek Anderson (now by far the lowest rated starting quarterback in the league) -- but it all starts at the top. And the fact is that the Browns owner, Randy Lerner, just doesn't care about the Browns. He's busy with his English soccer team. For quick evidence of the man's priorities, only take a quick look at his wikipedia page. And what would he care about the City of Cleveland? He's a New York born expat. It doesn't matter to him that his daddy made some money here in our town. And if the owner doesn't care, it makes it a lot easier for those on his payroll not to care. If there were ever a case for municipal ownership of a team, this is it.

And the difference between our Browns and the New York Giants, owned by the New York native Mara and Tisch families, couldn't be starker. And not just on the field. While our Browns run their mouths about how soft the Giants are (really, what could be dumber?), the Giants circle the wagons when the media pries about their malcontent star receiver. The Giants are a team. We wonder if the Browns could ever be such a team with an owner like Randy Lerner. Perhaps, if they had the right coach and/or GM, but having an owner like Lerner certainly stacks the deck against us.

How much pain will Browns fans suffer before they realize this? It will surely only get worse until they do. So our strategy is to keep betting against the Browns in situations like these, and use the inevitable proceeds to finance Frownie's campaign for Mayor of the City of Cleveland. Our platform is as follows: If we win, we will take City ownership of the Browns. We will use eminent domain proceedings if we have to. This will ensure that the team remains in the hands of the people who care about it most, the people of Cleveland. What could be a more constitutional "public use" than that?

Seriously, who wouldn't vote for this guy?

The Pick: Giants -8 over the Browns

NFL Week Six Pix -- And The Lock of the Year

It would be hard for today’s NFL slate to top yesterday’s sizzling NCAA action -- but if the games won’t be, our picks should be just as hot.

Especially The Lock of the Year -- The Arizona Cardinals +4.5 (at home) over the Dallas Cowboys. As this season has started to unfold, we’ve come to believe that the Cowboys just aren’t that good. And its no secret that their pass defense is the worst part of them. And how much worse will that pass defense be with Pac Man Jones being as . . . um . . . distracted as he is. It’s hard for us to imagine a sharper contrast in organizational approaches than the one between the Cowboys handling of this week’s Jones “situation” (they are letting their suicidal cornerback play this week) with the way that the Titans approached the issue of Vince Young’s potential mental instability. (Note, Young’s craziness is nowhere near as firmly established as Jones’s). What are the Cowboys thinking here? We’re praying for poor Pac Man, but we’re betting that Kurt Warner might throw for 600 yards on his squad. The Cardinals have the second best passing attack in the NFL, which hasn’t been slowed by the loss of Anquan Boldin. Backups Steve Breaston and Early Doucet have filled in ably, and Larry Fitzgerald is still on the other side. The Cards have killed everyone they’ve played at home this year, spanked the Dolphins on the road, and their only bad loss came against the Jets after they made the ridiculous decision to stay on the East Coast in between games. We can’t imagine what the 80% of folks playing this game at sportsbook.com are thinking in laying the points with the Cowboys, but we strongly encourage you to think something else. The Cardinals +4.5 is the Lock of the Year. We expect them to win outright.

We like two more today to round out your parlays.

Raiders +7 over the Saints: We like the Raiders this season, generally. We see an exciting talented roster there. They’ve been distracted by the situation with Coach Kiffin, but that distraction is gone. And as we’ve read recently at our favorite NFL website, Mike Florio’s http://www.profootballtalk.com/, Al Davis isn’t as crazy as folks like to make him out be. (Read here, here, and here). It’s clear to us that he’s getting a bad rap. The 72-year old self-made NFL legend has earned the right to speak publicly about his team. We’ll say it: We’d much rather have him owning our Browns than an Anglophilic rich kid who shows little to no passion about bringing a winner to Cleveland. To the extent that folks believe that the Raiders organization is a mess due to this Davis situation, there’s value in this Raiders pick today. And here’s something else: Ex-Coach Kiffin still calls and texts Raider QB Jamarcus Russell to discuss opposing defenses, including what he saw from the Saints last Monday night. Florio thinks this is dangerous. We don’t think it’s so bad. It’s hard for us to imagine that Kiffin isn’t being helpful here. People. Helping people. That’s nice. Finally, Raiders are coming off a bye week while the Saints are coming off a short one.

Miami Dolphins +3 over the Houston Texans: It would be hard enough for the Texans to bounce back from last week’s precipitous Rosenfall if they weren’t playing a team with as much juice as the Dolphins have right now. The Texans’ season is officially in the tubes while the Dolphins appear to have been launched out of them. We’ve loved these 2008 Phins since Day 1. We believe the hype. We’re swimming with the Fish. (11:56 AM -- It just occured to us that it seems extra appropriate to pick the Fish on the day when the Pats square off against the Chargers. We're shocked at how uninterested we are in that Pats/Chargers game.)

Enjoy the games, folks. We’ll be back tomorrow to preview Monday Night Football’s return to the shores of Lake Erie.

NCAA Week 7, Truly College Football Heaven

Today’s college football schedule is the most exciting of any day so far this season. We’ll pick four. Before we do, we’d like to shout out to Spencer Hall (aka Orson Swindle) and his fantastic college football blog, Every Day Should Be Saturday (http://www.edsbs.com/). We’re not sure our livers could take it if every day was, in fact, Saturday, but we sure are glad that there are folks who can write about football the way that Hall does. Hall writes especially well about SEC football (he’s a Florida Gator partisan). We haven’t spent much time in the South ourselves, and have never been to an SEC football game (something we plan to remedy soon), but when we read Hall’s writing, we feel like SEC tailgate veterans. Plus, perhaps more than any sportswriter we know, his stuff is often laugh-out-loud funny. We’ve linked to a few of his recent pieces in this post and expect that you’ll enjoy them.

Now the picks:

Pick #1 -- Texas Longhorns (#5) +6.5 (neutral site) over the Oklahoma Sooners (#1) in the game that they call The Red River Shootout -- Noon EST: The conventional wisdom here tells us that these teams are led by two great quarterbacks, but Oklahoma has a much better offensive line and much better receivers, thus, should dominate. Surely no team has been as impressive as the Sooners thus far this season, especially on offense. That’s why they’re ranked #1. But what’s interesting here is that while the conventional wisdom counsels so unequivocally in favor of a Sooner blowout (with 80% of the action at Sportsbook.com following that wisdom), the line has actually moved down, from 7 to 6.5. This could only mean one thing -- that somebody knows something very unconventional, and has placed no small amount of v-chips on that knowledge. Now that’s exciting. In view of this, we’ll go with the Longhorn squad that’s heard all week that it doesn’t have a chance. We hear that the Longhorns have a plucky defense led by first year defensive coordinator Will Muschamp, who we hear has already become something of a folk hero in Texas. That sounds interesting too. And we like the sound of “Get in the game, MUSCHAMP!”

But the best reason to take the Longhorns? Look at this short video clip in which Lou Holtz combines a Longhorns pick with advice about free will delivered with quintessentially Holtzian earnestness. We’d buy just about anything that came along with that.

F*ckin’ Hook ‘em.

Pick #2 -- Notre Dame Fighting Irish +8.5 over the North Carolina Tarheels -- 3:30 EST: Here’s a case where the conventional wisdom appears to be in line with the experts. Folks think that Butch Davis’s Tar Heels are the class of the SEC (ummm, ACC, thanks, D -- 2:28 PM), and have bet this line all the way up from 6.5 to 8.5. We suppose that any idiot could look at this line and think it looks too high (though only about 50% at sportsbook.com do). The Tar Heels might appear to be the savvy play here, but we’re not buying it. They’re supposed to have two of the best receivers in college football in Hakim Nicks and Brandon Tate, but this seems like just the sort of sexy thing about a football team that folks overbuy into. We look at the Tar Heels’ schedule, and see that they haven’t beaten anybody. UConn? UConn??? North Carolina's rout of UConn was fueled by three blocked punts and three interceptions. Indeed, the Tar Heels have recorded more interceptions than any team in Division I college football. Plus, they appear to live by the big play. This hardly seems like a recipe for sustained success. Especially against a team with one of the most talented quarterbacks in college football, and a defense that has done a decent job defending the pass.

We hope these are enough good excuses to bet against Butch Davis, one of our least favorite people of all time. The stitches in our brow that resulted from the Butch Davis era in Cleveland might never become unknit. Couch over McNabb, Courtney Brown over Urlacher, Gerard Warren over LaDanian (AWWWWW!!! GOD!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO F**********************CK!!!! *sorry*), William Green over Ed Reed. We can’t find this anywhere online, but one of the best lines we’ve ever read was from Tom Reed, former sportswriter for the Beacon Journal who wrote one day in the Beacon that: “[It’s a good thing] that Butch Davis wasn’t in charge of the U.S. military draft [in the 40’s] or the capital of the United States would be Berlin.”

Fantastic.

Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame. F*ck Butch Davis. *sorry*

Pick #3: Northwestern Wildcats +1 (at home) over the Michigan State Spartans -- 3:45 EST: Here’s another one like the Texas/Okla. matchup where the conventional wisdom appears to be going against the experts. 80% of the action is on the Spartans here, but the line’s been bet down from 3 points to 1. We like the Wildcats because they’re coming off a bye-week, and our theory is that a bye-week has a more salutary effect on the performance of kids from more academically rigorous schools. Whereas kids from other schools might be more prone to find trouble during the bye week, the kids at Northwestern are relieved because they got to catch up on their studies. Plus, NU coach Pat Fitzgerald might *might* be developing into one of the best coaches in college football before our very eyes. He’s a Northwestern alum too.

Wildcats. Rawwwrr.

Pick #4: Florida Gators -6 (at home) over the LSU Tigers -- 8:00 EST: An 8:00 time slot for THIS matchup? We can already smell the brown liquor wafting from the pores of the 90,000+ who will be in attendance in the Swamp tonight. Our pick here is primarily influenced by this brief analysis of our Buckeyes by the aforementioned Mr. Hall of edsbs.com, who points out that “Ohio State seems to be doing what good teams do after getting their heads kicked in early: regrouping, finding their rhythm, retooling with the extremely un-gay Buckeye Pistol formation. (Fullback! GRRR!!!), and otherwise recovering nicely for a stretch run.” (Read the whole thing. It's called "Hang on Poopy." Funnnnnny.) We think the same analysis applies to the Gators here in the wake of their loss to Ole Miss. Everybody loses once in the SEC. Why isn’t tonight LSU’s night? We like astute Frowns commenter kylmra’s analysis on this in the comments to the below post. Plus Tebow is mad that LSU fans got a hold of his cell phone number, and that LSU’s resident inveterate a$$hole Ricky Jean Francois is running his mouth again.

Gators. Chomp chomp.

In closing we must note that we wish we thought that LSU was the pick today, if only because we feel like Tigers after taking Hall’s Florida/LSU compatibility test.

Sample questions:

“Do you like air conditioning?
A. Yes.
B. No, it makes skinning giant catfish harder ’cause they skin gets tight an sassy.

Do you like fried food?
A. Yes, preferably from Publix in a cardboard box.
B. Ain’t that redundant?

Your team is down four touchdowns at halftime. How do you react to the GameDay cameras?
A. [sullen stare that could freeze nitrogen while pressing cellphone to ear]
B. “F********CK YEEEEEW WWOOOOOOOOOOOOO TAHGERS GON GITCHA!!!” [shows breasts, regardless of gender]”

Fantastic.

Today is going to be sweet, folks. Enjoy. We’re heading to the grocery store to pick up some bloody mary mix, then will be sitting in front of our TV and computer alllll daaaaay looooong. So let us know who you like today, and especially who you like in Tomorrow’s NFL action, which we'll be here to preview for you. Also, for you locals, Black Keys concert tonight in Akron. Thursday’s should be poppin’ after that Florida game.

Best. Day. Ever.

Roll with Dice, K?

As much as we hate to bury one of our favorite posts in months, there's a ballgame tonight that's worth a pick. That's the Red Sox against the Tampa Rays tonight at Tropicana Field in Game 1 of the ALCS. We appreciate the comments to the Biden piece below, and tomorrow we'll respond to the more thoughtful comments that we didn't get to today.

More importantly, tomorrow brings a tantalizing slate of college football action that we'll be here to discuss before the games start. To the extent we don't get back in time for the start of the first one, the NCAA action for tomorrow is as follows if you don't hear otherwise.

Texas +6.5 over Oklahoma
Northwestern +1.5 over Michigan State
North Carolina -8.5 over Notre Dame
and Florida -6 over LSU

Now for tonight's baseball game: We think it's a good story if either team wins this Series (especially if the Dodgers come through on the other side), but we're picking the Red Sox tonight because we think there's great value in backing Red Sox starter Daisuke (say, Dice-K) Matsuzaka in a championship series game -- particularly one played in a dome.

Matsuzaka arrived in America from Japan last year with much fanfare and hype. The Red Sox paid close to $50 million just for the exclusive rights to negotiate with him. While Dice-K had a nice year for the World Series Champs, he was not an All-Star, and did not pitch well in the particularly well in the playoffs. This year has been different, with Matsuzaka racking up an 18-3 record, with a 2.90 ERA and 158 strikeouts in 167 innings. Moving to the US to be a baseball superstar when one has lived his whole life in Japan is a big deal -- especially with the unprecedented hype surrounding Dice-K. We'll chalk last year's substandard (for Dice-K) results as a result of a necessary adjustment period.















Matsuzaka has considerable Championship experience that goes deeper than just last season with the Sox. He pitched for the Seibu Lions against the Yomiuri Giants in the 2002 Japan Series (where his team lost), and led the Japanese National Team to the title in the 2006 World Baseball Classic -- winning MVP honors in the process. And Matsuzaka should be comfortable pitching in a dome, because much of his Series against Yomiuri was played in Japan's venerable Tokyo Dome, home of the Giants, who are something like the Yankees of Japan. We've seen the Giants play in the Tokyo Dome, and can assure you that whatever the Rays fans bring tonight, they won't bring anything close to the noise that Giants fans bring. The Japanese take baseball fandom to a level that we'll describe briefly as at least "more intense" than it is here in the States.

Both teams have excellent lineups, and the Rays have the "playing with house money" factor that might balance out Boston's playoff experience, but it's the particular depth of Matsuzaka's post-season experience, particularly when compared to Tampa starter James Shields, that should give the Red Sox the edge tonight.

The Pick: Red Sox +112 over the Rays

Joe Biden's Hair Plugs and Our Choice This November

We tuned in to last week's debate between Vice Presidential candidates Joe Biden and Sarah Palin, primarily to see if we could find any truth in the mainstream-media-fueled meme that Governor Palin is somehow any less qualified to be President of the United States than "community organizer," serial autobiographer, and career presidential candidate Barack Obama. Perhaps the reason we couldn't find the truth that we were looking for is that we found ourselves so terribly distracted by Senator Biden's hair; specifically, his front-to-back comb-over that might be the most unflattering 'do that we've seen on an American politician since James Traficant piled a dead possum on his scalp.

Concerned with Senator Biden's health and the health of Our Nation, we looked further into this issue, and in doing so gained some insight into how we might choose among the candidates for President this November. As a preliminary matter, we learned that Biden actually made a painful choice to make his hair look the way it does. Painful, in that he apparently underwent a surgical procedure to have hair follicles grafted from the back of his head (or somewhere else), to the front. The procedure likely involved the insertion of "hair plugs," each containing 15 to 30 hairs, "lined up to create a solid wall of hair."

Why would Biden, a handsome enough fellow, undergo this painful procedure? In answering this question we might argue over whether Biden actually looks better with his combed over doll-hair than he would otherwise (though he quite objectively does not), but we simply must assume that he did it because he wanted to. Put another way, Biden went under the knife to have hair plugs inserted into his skull because he preferred his artificial comb-over over his natural baldness. He did not want to be bald.

Senator Biden is certainly not alone in his aversion to male-pattern baldness. Countless men seek "treatment" for this "condition" every year. So it's worth asking why so many men, including Biden, are so hesitant to let nature take its course in this way. A convincing explanation is offered by May Kasahara, a character in Haruki Murakami's classic novel, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. Ms. Kasahara offers that, "the reason people are afraid of going bald is because it makes them think of the end of life. . . . [W]hen your hair starts to thin, it must feel as if your life is being worn away . . . as if you've taken a giant step in the direction of death, the last Big Consumption." This, to us, goes a long way toward explaining why Biden (and those who seek similar "treatment") might think that his combed-over plugs look better than a more natural look.

But baldness just can't be that bad. Or even bad at all. We all die. And we all grow older with each passing moment. Every successful religion on Earth counsels some degree of detachment to life here on Earth -- a certain fearlessness in the face of death. So doesn't this get us to the heart of the concept of "growing old gracefully"?

Indeed. There is an evolutionary argument that acceptance of one's baldness goes to the very essence of human "maturity." The theory, which is the most reasonable that we (and Wikipedia) have been able to uncover on the subject of baldness and evolution, suggests that "baldness evolved in males through sexual selection as an enhanced signal of aging and social maturity, whereby aggression and risk-taking decrease and nurturing behaviours increase. This may have conveyed a male with enhanced social status but reduced physical threat, which could enhance ability to secure reproductive partners and raise offspring to adulthood." This theory is supported by the fact that "some primate species clearly use an enlarged forehead, created both anatomically and through strategies such as frontal balding, to convey increased status and maturity;" and a study in which "males and females viewed 6 male models with different levels of facial hair . . and cranial hair. . . . Beards and a full head of hair were seen as being more aggressive and less socially mature, and baldness was associated with more social maturity." It should also be remembered that, as a general matter, humans have exponentially less hair than the apes from whom we evolved.

Male pattern baldness is a powerful message from nature about the temporality of our lives on Earth. And we see that there are two divergent ways in which a man might respond: Either by rejecting and/or repressing nature's message by attempting to hide one's baldness as Biden has gone to great lengths to do -- thus incidentally rejecting some good and potentially useful things, such as being perceived as being less aggressive, more socially mature, and a more suitable reproductive partner; Or by accepting one's baldness with grace, thus indicating acknowledgement of the natural limits of life on Earth as a human being.

This is all especially relevant this election season because these divergent responses to male pattern baldness are so strikingly similar to the divergence between today's Democratic and Republican parties. At least this is so to those who understand this divergence as a direct result of the Democratic Party's apparent reluctance to accept nature's limits as demonstrated by its repeated insistence on making the perfect the enemy of the good -- just as Biden has made his hair plugs the enemy of a perfectly good scalp.

Due to this apparent failure to recognize that we live in a world of scarce resources, we are continually subject to policy objections by the Democratic machine that are based primarily on the fact that the world is not perfect. What else could explain their simplistic tropes? "How can we pay for a war abroad when there are poor people here in our country?" "Why go after Saddam when there are bad guys in other places too?" "How can we let these 'Benedict Arnold CEOs' take our jobs overseas?"* On this view, any human suffering can be explained as a failure of government to intervene in the right way. On this view, we must obtain the approval of the whole wide world before we go to war to protect ourselves, because we must maintain a perfect image abroad. No matter that those from whom we were to seek approval had incentives to see us harmed. And nevermind the good chance that we've accomplished something very good and useful by going forward without this approval that we were never going to get anyway.

Biden's hair plugs are an apt symbol of a Democratic Party that has spent most of the last four decades trying to convince America that things should be perfect, at the expense of making things better. They are a perfect symbol for the Democratic Party that is the party of the Hollywood elite. The party that is forever trying to restore the picture-perfect image of Kennedy's Camelot. This party would never accept George W. Bush because he didn't "look (or rather, talk) the part," just as it will not speak out against the socially regressive claims that a healthy 72-year old John McCain is "too old" to be our President.

A failure to account for the natural limits of life on Earth -- and the consequent rejection of good and useful things that is so often incident to this failure -- is one thing when it comes to Joe Biden's decision to drill holes into his own scalp. But, as Joe Biden's hair-plugs remind us, the world is not a picture-perfect place, nor could it ever be.

One should take a good long look at those plugs before pulling the lever this November for a party that has so forcefully tried to convince us otherwise.

----------------------------------------------------------

*Footnote: Whatever else one party has over the other, aren't the Dems so much more likely to f*ck up in the Middle East? Whatever the problems in the U.S. economy now, even the New York Times recognizes that we're a part of the global economy too. And integration of the Middle East into the free global economy might do more for that economy, and our economy here, than any domestic policy possibly could -- and would make us forget about our current domestic 'crisis' in a hurry. We are the world. And a rising tide lifts all boats. At bottom, that is what the War in Iraq should be all about, and perhaps what it's always been about. 9/11 was proof that we, the world's strongest nation, should have focused on this integration sooner than we did. That the Democratic Party's tooth-and-nail opposition to everything about this War along every step of the way might demonstrates a willful parochially self-interested ignorance of this reality is something that we're painfully reminded of every time we see Senator Biden's hairline.

NLDS: Manny Being Money

"When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign: that the dunces are all in confederacy against him." -Jonathan Swift

Manny Ramirez is a baseball genius, and a national treasure that we should all cherish this postseason. One of the great things about professional sports is that they allow us to see folks get paid for doing exactly what it is in this world that they are best at. We must all be geniuses at something, but few of us are lucky enough to get paid for doing what we're geniuses at. This is why Manny can get away with 'Manny being Manny,' but at our office, we can't necessarily get away with 'Frownie being Frownie.' At our office, we're relatively expendable. At Manny's, he is not. The Dodgers know this now. And we expect that the Red Sox will learn, and will regret that they allowed Manny's agent to run him out of town -- just like we regret that the Indians allowed another of Manny's agents to run him out of our town. We suspect that a greater willingness to appreciate what makes Manny unique might have helped either team keep Manny in town, but in any event, we're sure there's a lot to be learned from Manny's legend. And there's a lot to be gained if that legend grows with a Dodgers World Series victory this season. It's impossible for us not to pull for this. A happy Manny Ramirez is not only a joy to behold on the baseball diamond, but a force to be reckoned with. Manny is certainly happy now in LA, which might be just the place for him. On our couches, rooting for Manny and the Dodgers, is just the place for us this postseason. Go Dodgers.

The Pick: Dodgers -115 over the Phillies to win the NLCS

Our post on the VP debate will be up in a few hours.

"What is written without effort, is in general read without pleasure." -Samuel Johnson

Today we planned on running a lifestyle/politics piece on last week's VP debate but, sadly, life got in the way.

We promise it will be up tomorrow, and that within we will attempt to answer some tough questions, including: Will America tolerate Joe Biden's hair?


Stay tuned.

Well That Didn't Go As Planned

But we'll take it. Vikes win 30-27 with only 44 yards rushing and despite two punt return touchdowns by Reggie Bush. Akron's Antoine Winfield looked out for his own by coming up with a punt block return for a touchdown, a sack and fumble recovery (on the same play), and eight solo tackles.

We're holding off on our breakdown of the NFL week 5 action until later this week. In the meantime, we have a lifestyle/politics special on last week's VP debate coming soon. Stay tuned.

Monday Night Football: Vikings (+3) over Saints

Four short weeks and it appears that folks are quick to hop off the Vikings bandwagon, with 80% of the action at Sportsbook laying the field goal with the Saints. This might also have something to do with the fact that folks are now calling Drew Brees the best quarterback in the NFL.

We're not going to get caught up in either line of hype here. Here are some reasons why:

1) The Vikings get starting left tackle Bryant McKinnie back tonight from a heavy-handed four game suspension imposed due to his involvement in a fight with bouncers outside a Miami nightclub. Starting left tackles are a big deal, so this should help the Vikes. Plus, most bouncers that we've met could use a good slap or two from the likes of a Bryant McKinnie, so we applaud him for his community service.

2) The Saints will be without starting defensive tackle Sedric Ellis. It was said before the loss of Ellis that the Saints were already "razor-thin at defensive tackle." His loss tilts the balance in the trenches even further in favor of the Vikes.

3) With an advantage in the trenches when they have the ball, the Vikes should be better able to keep the ball in the hands of their superstar running back Adrian Peterson, and out of the hands of the Saints' explosive offense. This will make it hard for Brees and Co. to find a rhythm against one of the NFL's best defenses.

So these first three reasons are really one: Put simply, the Vikes' rushing attack should be especially tough on the Saints tonight.

4) And especially tonight. Both teams have played tough schedules. The Saints are 2-2; The Vikes are 1-3. The Vikes have their backs against the wall and need this worse than the Saints. Fans in Minnesota are calling for coach Childress's head on a plate due to a series of highly questionable decisions. It's do or die for him and his staff this week. And as bad a head coach as Childress might be, the Vikes roster is loaded with enough talent to overcome poor decision making. Additionally, they've had another week to adjust to the quarterback carousel. And recently-extended Saints Coach Sean Payton doesn't strike us as a coaching Einstein anyway, especially after last season's collapse in New Orleans. Finally, as always, we question the leadership of any team that can't protect its most valuable assets. And the Saints are a veritable M*A*S*H unit.

We expect the Vikings to control the ball tonight, and come away with at least a cover. We'll be back with a recap of yesterday's action later tonight.

The Pick: Vikings +3 over the Saints

Monday Night Football Pick Preview

We'll be back before tonight's game with reasons for our pick, as well as a recap of last weekend's action.

Lord Byron: Sunday Night Savior?

Profoundly unsatisfied with the way today’s action has played out, we’ll look to the Steelers to help us get the awful taste of Sage out of our mouths. Taking the Steelers as 5.5 point dogs here is consistent with the day’s theme of parity. This line has been moving up all week, and seems too high given that both of these teams are banged up. We expect the Steelers defense to hold fast against the Jags, and hope their offense can open up the passing attack against a Jacksonville secondary that will be missing two starters. And if Roethlisberger can’t finish, we’re content to go to battle with backup Byron Leftwich who will be looking for redemption against the team that cut him in the pre-season last year.

The Pick: Steelers +5.5 over the Jaguars

NFL Week 5 Free-for-All

Unburdened with the pain of having to watch the Browns, we feel free to spread our wings this weekend with a few more NFL picks than usual. As this season has started to unfold, we’ve noticed that parity’s grip on the NFL is stronger than usual. After only four weeks, there are only three undefeated teams, and as ESPN’s Bill Simmons noted going into last week, “25 teams are thinking, ‘we can absolutely make the playoffs.’” Unless you’re the Browns, Bengals, or Lions, it’s a veritable free-for-all out there. Which is why, as we look at this week’s trends at Sportsbook.com, we are surprised to see such heavy action on so many favorites this week. We see so many good looking dogs today that we feel like we’re at Westminster Kennel Club.

Ravens +3 (at home) over Titans (73% of the action is on the Titans here): With these two defenses, the final score of this game might be 3-2. We’re impressed with Ravens rookie QB Joe Flacco. We’ll take the points here.

Lions +3.5 (at home) over the Bears (93%): The Lions have much to celebrate this week with the termination of ex-GM Matt Millen’s reign of error. Simmons called it Matt Millen Liberation Day. A buoyant home crowd should help, and the Lions should be able to open up their passing attack against the Bears banged-up secondary.

Dolphins +6.5 (at home) over the Chargers (91%): We’ve not been shy about our admiration for the improving Dolphins this season, and we think the Chargers are crumbling. ESPN’s Gregg Easterbrook pointed out that the Chargers’ offensive line has been having problems, and that while folks are “gushing over how San Diego outscored the Raiders 25-3 in the fourth quarter [of last week’s game] . . . San Diego's 25 fourth-quarter points were aided by possessions that began on the Oakland 13 (fumble recovery), Oakland 35 (kick return) and Oakland 44 (downs) and at midfield (kick return).”

Buccaneers +3.5 at Broncos (93%): Deadspin.com’s Drew Magary had this to say about the Bucs this week: “You know how people always like to say that certain franchise or team can help elevate the interest in a whole sport? . . . like, ‘College football is always more interesting when Notre Dame is winning,’ or ‘MLB is always a more interesting place when the Yankees are winning.’ Yeah, well the NFL is always LESS interesting when the Bucs are winning.” While this might be true, we think that this attitude about the Bucs shows that there’s value in picking them here against Denver’s facially appealing offensive attack. Tampa’s defense looks like one of the best in the league, Denver’s looks like one of the worst. If the Bucs can maintain any kind of consistent running attack, they have a good chance to escape Denver with a win.

Texans +3 (at home) over the Colts (96%); Niners +3 (at home) over the Patriots (95%): It’s not without trepidation that we take either of these teams against two of the NFL’s most successful franchises of recent years, but with 96% of the action on the Colts and Pats here, it would be inconsistent with today’s slate of picks to forgo support for the Texans and Niners. At least one of these teams will come away with a cover against the “old-guard.”

Now two favorites that feel like underdogs to us: The Eagles -6.5 (at home) over the Redskins (68%), and the Cardinals -1.5 (at home) over the Bills (81%). We’re not sold on the Skins yet. We remember how awful their offense looked in Week 1 against the Giants, and believe the potential for a similar performance exists today against the Eagles. A classic letdown game for the Skins after last week’s big win against Dallas. As for the Cardinals, they should be rejuvenated by their return home from a disastrous trip back east, and their high-flying offense should provide a tough test for the undefeated Bills, who will be without starting cornerback Terrence McGee. WR Steve Breaston is an adequate replacement for the injured Anquan Boldin, and the Cards should be better at hanging onto the ball than they were last week.

Finally, to add a little balance to our slate, it only seems right to take the Cowboys -16 (at home) over the Bengals. Gawd, the Bengals are bad. Gawd, Chad Johnson is an idiot. No parity here.

Enjoy the free-for-all, folks. Hope it’s a free-for-all, folks.

NCAA Week Six, Irish and Badgers are the Pix

Two picks for you today in the college footballs:

We liked Notre Dame over Stanford enough earlier in the week, and Stanford offensive tackle and inveterate a$$hole Chris Marinelli has given us reason to like the Irish even more.

In an interview with a publication called Cardinalreport.com, Marinelli said that Stanford would "gash" the Notre Dame defense, and would generally "mash [the Irish] up." Worse, he ripped Notre Dame as an institution, including their stadium, and the city of South Bend. He even insulted Irish Catholic fans of Notre Dame who are from his hometown near Boston. 'I grew up with a bunch of Irish and Italian Catholic people back home. And all the Irish Catholic people, all they talk about is Notre Dame this, Notre Dame that . . . And they've never even been there, ya know. So I hate those guys, I hate that school.'"

Criticizing Irish Catholics for identifying with Notre Dame is as dumb and mean-spirited as it gets. Ohioans who root for the Buckeyes yet did not attend Ohio State are often criticized in the same manner, so this hits close to home for us. Of course, anyone who does not trade in the combination of stupidity and hate easily understands why an Irish Catholic would admire an Irish Catholic institution that has been a standard-bearer of American collegiate athletics, just as Ohioans admire the Buckeyes for the same. We see Charlie Weis's troops starting to come together as a football team, and expect this to continue today at home against Stanford. That this line opened at 7.5 indicates that experts might agree. We also like that Akron native and Notre Dame coaching great Ara Parseghian will be honored at today's game. But our desire to stand in solidarity against idiots like Stanford's Marinelli provides our primary motivation to play the Irish today.

The Pick: Notre Dame Fighting Irish -6.5 over the Stanford Cardinal

We wish we could feel as good about picking the Buckeyes today, but we smell a Badgers victory tonight in Wisconsin. The Buckeye pick just looks too easy; a classic trap for the Bad Action Bros. Terrelle Pryor is hot, Beanie Wells is back, the Badgers don't appear to have a passing game required to beat the Buckeyes. All of the media "experts" are picking the Buckeyes, as are 90% of the players at Sportsbook.com. Lee Corso just said on Gameday that "the Buckeyes dynamic duo is ready to explode." So why have the Buckeyes been downgraded from 2.5 point favorites, to being favored by only one point? Of course, this indicates that the real experts are accounting for something else. For example, Pryor's two starts have come against Troy and Minnesota. Wisconsin on the road at night will be his first real test. The Badgers have not lost at Camp-Randall Stadium since 1995. Buckeye receivers Hartline and Robiskie represent the weakest pair that the Buckeyes have had at the position in recent memory, which makes it easier for defenses to game plan against Pryor and Wells. The Badgers have the advantage in the trenches, which might allow them to keep the ball out of Pryor's hands with a ball-control offense. We won't be upset to see a Pryor coming-out party, but the movement of this line gives us reason to expect something else.

The Pick: Wisconsin Badgers +1 over The Ohio State Buckeyes

Update -- 12:59 PM: Scratch that. The line has moved up to Badgers +1.5. We love this. Buckeyes win 17-16!

Note that if the Badgers do end up losing tonight, it will surely be due to the University's heavy-handed decision to suspend their band for tonight's game because certain of its members have been accused of "hazing, alcohol abuse, and sexual misconduct." We can't imagine activities more appropriate to the American undergraduate experience than hazing, alcohol abuse, and sexual misconduct, so we find this decision puzzling. Kudos to ESPN's Chris Fowler for making a "one time, in band camp" joke about this on Gameday this morning.

Paul Newman (1925-2008)

A stretch is not required to imagine that the same unseen rumblings of the universe that caused the loss of one great Northeast Ohio native would also cause of the loss of another within a few days. Remember that founding fathers John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the very same day.

With that said, we'd be remiss if we didn't recognize the passing of Cleveland native Paul Newman last week at the age of 83.

We're not prone to the over-estimation of Hollywood and Hollywood-types here at Cleveland Frowns. To us, what makes Newman great is also what sets him apart from those types. To provide some examples, here are some items taken from a pair of nice write-ups by Rich Heldenfels of the Beacon Journal and John Christofferson of the Associated Press:

Newman was born in Cleveland, and raised in Shaker Heights. He was schooled in the ways of civil disobedience by his father, who hid liquor in the attic of Newman's childhood home during Prohibition. Demonstrating an admirable respect for his parents, young Paul would hide cigarette butts in the rain gutters lining the house's roof, so his mother would not find them.

Newman was not only an actor, but an entrepreneur and humanitarian. While an undergraduate at Kenyon College, "he ran a laundry service out of his dorm room. He also ran a flower and corsage business, taking orders before dance weekends and making sure of a profit by buying the flowers from a wholesale shop in Cleveland." He endowed Kenyon with a $10 million scholarship for minority and first-generation college students. His food company, Newman's Own, reportedly was "started as a joke" between Newman and his neighbor, and has grown "into a multimillion-dollar business selling popcorn, salad dressing, spaghetti sauce and other foods. All of the company's profits are donated to charities. By 2007, the company had donated more than $175 million."

Newman was a family man, who shared "one of Hollywood's rare long term marriages" with fellow Oscar winner Joanne Woodward, of which he once commented to Playboy Magazine that, ''I have steak at home, why go out for hamburger?''

Newman was also a sportsman who followed his dreams and did what he enjoyed. "In the 1970s, Newman, admittedly bored with acting, became fascinated with auto racing, a sport he studied when he starred in the 1969 film, Winning. After turning professional in 1977, Newman and his driving team made strong showings in several major races, including fifth place in Daytona in 1977 and second place in the Le Mans in 1979. 'Racing is the best way I know to get away from all the rubbish of Hollywood,' he told People magazine in 1979."

Finally, Newman's seemingly admirable perspective as he entered old age offers us food for thought. "In December 1994, about a month before his 70th birthday, he told Newsweek magazine he had changed little with age. 'I'm not mellower, I'm not less angry, I'm not less self-critical, I'm not less tenacious,' he said. 'Maybe the best part is that your liver can't handle those beers at noon anymore,' he said."

Maybe we're old fashioned, or maybe we haven't been reading the gossip pages closely enough, but we aren't aware of anyone in Hollywood today who has as much about her or him to admire as Newman does. We wonder if Hollywood will ever see another like Newman again. We're proud that he's from Cleveland, and we expect that he is resting firmly in peace.