The Akron Zips are NCAA Division 1 Champions

Proof from the NCAA that firearms really are the great equalizer? University of Akron freshman Jenna Compton (pictured above) became the second Division 1 National Champion in University of Akron history by winning the Air Rifle Division at the 2009 NCAA Rifle Championship. She did so despite being the last of the 48 participants to be invited to the tournament, and despite "having shot an air rifle competitively for only eight months." Notably, NCAA Rifle competition is not broken down by gender.

Compton was born to shoot: "'Shooting is like therapy to me. It gets everything out of my head," she told the Akron Beacon Journal's Tom Gaffney. "'At the beginning of my senior year, I thought I should just concentrate on academics in college, so I applied to schools without rifle. When March came around, I was looking at pictures of the rifle team on the Akron Web site. I realized then that I would miss it. I didn't think I could go a year without it, so I called [31-year Akron U Rifle Coach Newt] Engle.'''

Gaffney reports that "[b]eing the national champion has provided opportunities that were just dreams for [Compton] in the past. She has been asked to become a member of the National Developmental Team by coach Dave Johnson. The team is composed of adults and college students who compete in international events, including the Olympic Games."

But what about other opportunities, like the kind for a type of synergy that's not at all available with respect to the majority of NCAA athletic competitions? 

That is, why don't we have Compton and others like her posted up in Baghdad or Tora Bora? Of course, only if they want to.  But why wouldn't they?  Don't people like doing what they're good at? For Compton, it's therapy after all. Why shouldn't the military sweeten the pot for folks like this, such as with increased pay or a reduced time committment?

It is worth noting that the Father of our Nation, George Washington, would have surely supported such a plan. Remember, he said that: "[f]irearms are second only to the Constitution in importance; they are the peoples' liberty's teeth." And that "[t]he very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere restrains evil interference - they deserve a place of honor with all that's good." Yes. Firearms anywhere and everywhere, and especially in the hands of Jenna Compton, staked out in the craggy peaks of Tora Bora. Consider this our open letter to our Federal Representatives, as well as a new addition to the platform for Frownie's mayoral campaign.* Huzzah! And go Zips! National Champs in what George Washington would surely consider the most important NCAA sport.

Thanks to Paul Tople and the ABJ for the photo.  

What's YOUR Fantasy?

After seeing the following headline at MLB.com yesterday, it occurred to us that it's been some time since we've looked forward to a baseball season as much as we're looking forward to this one: Gregg tapped as Cubs new closer.

It's not so much the piece of news itself as it is the fact that it was the lead story at MLB.com that reminded us that while our feelings about fantasy sports in general might still be mixed, we couldn't be more sure that fantasy baseball leagues that award points for "Saves" are an unmistakable harbinger of civilization's decline. This certainty is one of the main reasons why we're not playing fantasy baseball this season (although there are others).

Make no mistake about why the aforementioned piece of news about the Cubs closer situation was featured so prominently at MLB.com, or why one of today's headlines asks promises to answer the question: "Can Milwaukee find a closer?" Every season, at least a handful of teams begin with no idea who their closer will be. At least a handful more lose their closers to injury. This makes a full tenth of the scoring in many fantasy leagues dependent on which nerd was closest to his computer when he saw an ESPN crawl reporting that a starting closer has been injured. Why not just play roulette? Or a slot machine? Some internet casinos will even let you play "war" for money.

It might be different if there were a stronger correlation between the quality of relief pitcher and saves earned by that pitcher, but many teams choose to keep their best relievers in a set up role. Some, like the Oakland team, are even reported to use the "Save" statistic to inflate a lesser pitcher's trade value. And it's no wonder this is possible. The great Phil Mushnick of the New York Post sometimes writes about the "Driving on the Sidewalk Save," i.e., "awarding a save to a closer who came in the ninth with a three-run lead only to cough up two runs, load the bases and then escape with a one-run win. That, Mushnick argues, is like giving a driver who steers his car onto the sidewalk a good-driving citation when he doesn’t wind up killing anybody."

We don't think the save is an entirely meaningless statistic, but we do find it to be a lovely breath of fresh air to come into a baseball season not caring in the least about the health of B.J. Ryan's rotator cuff or Lou Piniella's whims regarding who will get the "S's" for the Cubs. Which leaves us only with the irritation that comes with the knowledge that headlines on the official website of our so-called National Pastime are driven at least in part by and toward greedy fantasy dorks drooling for news about a relatively meaningless statistic, and thus driven away from news about the actual quality of baseball being played.

Live by the Sword . . .

Many of you have been wondering what's gone wrong with our picks this March, and especially what happened on our trip to Las Vegas two weekends ago for the NCAA Tournament's second round during which we bled a whopping 174 units by going 2-7 ATS. And with good reason. There's no question that things have been strange around here. We even had to resort to the absurd measure of not putting any of our actual V-chips on yesterday's games (only hypothetical "units") to restore some order. It's telling that this strategy worked, and supports our main idea about what's been going wrong around here. 

The main idea is about a basic disrespect for basic scarcity of resources (units, v-chips, etc.) that's been reflected around here by yours truly. This goes back to the middle of the NFL season when we started upping our units on our football plays in proportions that made our earlier one-unit plays essentially meaningless. In response, some good folks here questioned exactly what it was that we were keeping track of because if we could just keep upping the units without consequence, we could always just keep doing so, and our unit count might offer little to no insight into our actual performance. Even worse, having our true performance obscured in this way dulled our senses, and deprived us of the hunger-induced sharpness that comes from having to confront the reality of that lower number.

It's really easy to see how this played out by looking at what led us to our most recent Vegas trip in the first place. That is, our winning Super Bowl play that was by far the highest unit play we'd ever made here at Frowns (249 units!). Note that we made the play so big to put our winning percentage above 55% for the season, without meaningful regard to what might have happened if we'd have lost. So we shouldn't at all be surprised by what happened when we set aside our winnings on that play for a March Madness trip. Instead of spending February and the beginning of March honing our skills to get sharp for the trip (that we'd have never even gone on had we accounted for the scarcity of resources on Super Bowl Sunday), we coasted along (we won our big Super Bowl play, look at how high our winning percentage is, we're going to Vegas, la la la). It should be no surprise that we fell flat this March in our performance, and especially on our trip.

So, yeah, live by the sword, die by the sword. It's all so much more meaningful now. We've seen that if the size of our plays aren't connected to reality, the plays themselves won't be either.  Special thanks to those who saw this coming back in the fall and tried to warn us. And a special thanks in advance to anyone who can help us reevaluate our unit system/budget. We're still going to vary our units on individual plays, because some plays are more important than others, but we need to impose limits on our system. We'll finish up March Madness with the unit numbers we set for the remainder of the Frownie Madness competition, and will reset with some new math after that with the expectation that we'll see some much better picking as a result.

Choking Down the Rest of the Elite 8 Ball

"Coaches have said for years that the loneliest feeling in the NCAA tournament is losing in the Elite Eight."

After yesterday's 0-2 finish ATS, we can sympathize. Scottie Reynolds' coast-to-coast layup to break the tie for Villanova as time expired, and Missouri missing a wide open layup as time expired that would have given us the cover are just the kinds of things that happen to people who are on a streak like the one that we're on. When you're not, you're not. We're sure that this losing stretch has a lot if not everything to do with our not having yet reevaluated our principles after last week's Vegas trip, as the stars mandated and as we've been planning to do. As we won't get to that before tomorrow morning, we think it will help today's picks if we don't put any actual V-chips on them. Bizarre, we know. But desperate times call for desperate measures. And it's probably just as well re: Pitt losing, because the rest of our bracket was shot anyway so our Pickets wouldn't have been any good. Maybe we'll get to Tittsburgh next year. As for today:

Michigan St. -6 over Louisville (40X): After picking against Louisville and UConn in games with point spreads just about this size for pretty much the whole Tournament, we can't very well stop now, even as bad as a year as this has been for Michigan. Spartan Coach Tom Izzo is aching to play in a Final Four in his home state and will surely have his team as ready as possible for today's action, and has something of an edge over Pitino in leading his team to victory in second games of tournament weekends. All this, and respective overvaluation/undervaluation of the Big East/Big Ten should keep this one within the 6 point spread. Though we will note that it will not sit well with us if the crook auto bosses in Detroit are rewarded with a home team Final Four appearance. Audacious of us to call for the loss/cover, especially when we're on such a streak, we know. Sorry.

North Carolina -6 over Oklahoma (40X): Tyler Hansbrough has the rare opportunity to play the underdog role today in what's being framed as largely a battle between him and future NBA #1 pick Blake Griffin of Oklahoma. A special opportunity for Psycho-T to go especially crazy. While he might lose the battle down low against Griffin, he won't be dominated, and his vastly superior supporting cast gives him what is likely his last best opportunity to ever get over on Mr. Griffin. A special college basketball game for a special college basketball player.

Enjoy the games, folks, and the Cavs.

Elite Eight Ball

It probably didn't take you until yesterday to wonder why we even try to pick these college basketball postseason games after ignoring the whole regular season, and we might eventually abandon the strategy, but we have little choice in the matter now with Frownie Madness in full swing.

We'll pick Pitt -2 over Villanova (40X) because Pitt has the distinct feel of a team whose year it is. (If we don't get to Tittsburgh this year we might never get there!)

And Mizzou -6.5 over UConn (40X) because Mizzou looks like that team that nobody should want to play right now and this looks like one of those games that UConn will win but not cover in.

That's all for that. In closing, a special shout to Frownie Madness participant "Takosvoyeur" who picked a remarkable 7 out of this year's chalk-infested Elite 8. We hear that "voyeur" makes the full contribution to his 401K each pay period and makes complete stops at all railroad crossings.

We will also note that anybody who thought they were going to get their grubby paws on our Tim Couch rookie card might just have another think coming. Bwah-hah-hah . . .

Enjoy Saturday, folks. We'll be back for more piercing analysis of tomorrow's games.

The Name on the Door is Cleveland

And the face on the hats is Wahoo. It seems to us that folks are dangerously overlooking those two facts in talking about our Cavs these days, as well as some other important ones that we briefly outlined on Tuesday regarding the Lakers, Celtics, Magic and Rockets. The local sports blogs and the local sports airwaves are ablaze with talk of a "parade down Euclid Avenue." We swear Michael Reghi said that phrase twelve times on our 30 minute drive home from work yesterday. Where has this guy been living for the past 40 years? Even national voices like ESPN's John Hollinger have gotten into the act this week.

Have these guys been watching this season? Yes, LeBron is the best player in the league. He has been for at least the last two years. That the media is finally ready to give him the MVP is of no consequence to the Cavs' Championship credentials. And yes, the Cavs have the best record in the league. But that does not make them the best team in the league, it makes them the most consistent against teams that are worse than them. That's a fine thing to be, but . . .

WE SAW THE GAMES AGAINST THE LAKERS. WE SAW THE GAMES AGAINST THE MAGIC/CELTICS/ROCKETS. WHAT ABOUT THOSE GAMES?

Fine if you want to pretend that those games didn't happen, and that the Curse of Wahoo doesn't exist. And this isn't meant to be our pre-playoff post on the upcoming clash between the Cavs and the Curse. All we're saying is that the noise about the Cavs this week is WAY TOO LOUD for us. So loud that the Timberwolves +14.5 tonight over the Cavs has to be a lock. (40X).

As for the kids and their Super Sweet Sixteen, we'll take:

Oklahoma -1 over Syracuse (40X): The Sooners guards are good enough that they shouldn't be dominated by Syracuse's. Blake Griffin should dominate Cuse's bigs. Easier to put ball in hole from closer. Sooners win.

Arizona +8.5 over Louisville (40X): Zona was supposed got off to a rough start and a rough finish with an interim Coach after Lute Olson's sudden retirement. They have three NBA quality starters and seem like as fine a party crasher as any. That's a lot of points. And enough with this Big East already.

Kansas +1.5 over Michigan State (40X): Back during football season we had no small amount of success betting against Michigan teams on the theory that this just isn't a good year for Michigan. There's also this: "Michigan State is balanced. Five players average at least eight points per game, but none average 15. 'I think it's a fun system because you never know who's going to step up,' Travis Walton, the Big Ten defensive player of the year, said." But what happens when nobody steps up because everybody's waiting for somebody else to step up and nobody's used to stepping up all the time? ??? Kansas at least has two stars in Cole Aldrich and Sherron Collins, and the rest of their guys should be athletic and well-coached enough to do what they have to do as well.

Gonzaga +8 over Carolina (20X): Apparently Gonzaga relishes being back in the underdog role, which sounds really lame to us, but we can't pick Carolina here. Gonzaga has the athletes to run with the Tar Heels; The guy that makes Carolina go, Ty Lawson, is playing hurt; And Zags star Josh Heytvelt surely has some good luck due to him after being cruelly punished for performing an act, hunting and gathering, that has been a crucial part of sustaining human life for centuries.

Enjoy the games, folks, and the weekend. But don't get carried away re: Euclid Ave.

Our Super Sweet Sixteen Picks

Purdue +7 over UConn (40X): The bomb was dropped yesterday that UConn is being investigated for alleged recruiting violations. We're normally sympathetic to folks who break NCAA rules, but this is bad timing, and just the sort of thing that can distract a Coach and a team from the task at hand. Don't these guys have to be wondering if it will even count if they win? That's a huge bumout. Plus, while Purdue is outsized, they're known for playing solid defense, and only have to contend with one outside shooter on this UConn team who can hit an outside shot, A.J. Price. Plus, the extra time between rounds should have helped Purdue star Robbie Hummell's hurting back.

Villanova +2.5 over Duke (40X): We'll join the masses who think they see that this speedy and athletic Nova squad is tailor made to beat Duke. Nova will have to contend with the formidable Scheyer-face; but assuming the guard play cancels out, Dante Cunningham gives the Wildcats an inside force that Duke can't counter. Nova also gets an edge here by virtue of Duke star Gerald Henderson's having turned down the opportunity to play for his hometown Wildcats -- added emotional pressure for Henderson here.

Missouri +4.5 over Memphis (40X): Memphis looked a little too good last round in defeating a Maryland team that was not very good at all. We're sure that eventually that weak schedule (which has essentially been extended into NCAA Tournament play) is going to come back to bite them. Missouri has the bigs to keep Memphis from dominating the boards (including the King of the Jungle), and the athletes to run with them, and should be able to at least keep this game close.

Pittsburgh -7 over Xavier (20X): The Road to Tittsburgh is never easy, but if this is in fact the Panthers' year, we have to think that they'll have settled down after a shaky first two rounds. Pitt should dominate the guard play, and DaJuan Blair should help keep a deep Xavier frontcourt in check. Plus, folks will perhaps rightly be calling for Coach Dixon's job if the Panthers can't pull this one out tonight.

Enjoy the games, folks. We'll be back for tomorrow's slate.

What We Learned in Vegas

On our flight out there, we sat next to a traveling salesman who was a Southwest frequent flyer. He told us that on one flight to Vegas, he sat next to former WWF star The Iron Sheik. As soon as he had boarded the plane, a flight attendant rushed over to him and after some urgent and hushed back-and-forth between the two, delivered the Sheik a paper bag. Could have been anything in that bag, but what was in there was some thirty-or-so mini-bottles of vodka. The plane hadn't even taken off yet. Not only does this anecdote explain the benefits of frequent flying, and prove that all politricks is, in fact, local, it also explains THIS.

That's not everything we learned in Vegas, but it's become clear to us that we're not going to be able to write anything too substantive until we have a solid day's rest. To the extent that it's correct what some folks say about Jewish folk "running the world," we're sure it's because they have that rule about staying home and chilling for one day a week.

We'll be back later with Sweet Sixteen picks. Don't forget to get yours in for Frownie Madness! Also, rejoice that Shaun Rogers has reported to voluntary workouts, and that Mike Tomlin still thinks there's a Browns/Steelers rivalry. Also, bookmark the promising new sports blog at Cleveland Scene, '64 and Counting. Finally, we would be remiss if we didn't note that the passionate over/under talk on MLB season totals that occurred here after hours yesterday brought a tear of joy to our eye. Happy Thursday, folks, and keep up the great work.

You Think YOU Have It Bad, Kid?

When I was your age, they didn't sell burritos at Tribe games, OR SUSHI. And if you wanted garlic fries, you had to bring your own garlic. And the team? The team was SO BAD that when a slap hitting outfielder who played ball in funny oversized Chanel glasses stole a few bases one August, the Mayor issued a proclamation at City Hall citing "his outstanding base stealing accomplishments and the recent excitement he has brought to the city." The Mayor! You think you have it bad, kid. Jeez.

Man . . . Alex Cole. We were excited too. We remember being at the big ballcard show at the Strongsville Holiday Inn that year (the one that Jeff Sindelar would be at) and 90 Fleer Alex Cole rookie cards were selling like hotcakes for $11 per.

We can't say we haven't made at least some progress, Cleveland.

We'll be back with more later, including what we learned on our most recent trip to Vegas. But before we go, we just want to note that we were listening to WKNR last night and are pretty sure the Cavs talk is getting out of hand. The Blazers and the Hawks are nice teams, sure, but they're not the League's elite. The Orlando win was nice, but the Magic couldn't have played any dumber that game with all their three-jacking and Howard-ignoring, and still almost won in Cleveland. Let's not forget about those Lakers games, or that last Celtics game, or even that Rockets game. It might be worth noting that we haven't even played a healthy Jazz team yet. Just trying to manage expectations.

Thanks to nerdbaseball.com via the indispensable Biz for the Cole find. Happy Hitchens Day.

UPDATE: Our friends at WFNY remember Alex Cole too (thanks fellas!), and link to Ball Don't Lie's new Power Rankings that have the Cavs at #1: "They’ve only seemed to dominate the season with the game’s best player, winning games by more points than everyone else. I’m not sure if you know your NBA history, but that tends to hold up." We're just not sure where "they've only seemed to dominate the season" comes from given their performances against, again, the Lakers, Celtics, and Rockets.

Things are Looking Up

Well, we couldn't have asked for a better welcome home present than this story by Brian Windhorst on some glorious news in this morning's Plain Dealer: LeBron's extra edge: Cavaliers star's devotion to yoga training helps keep James healthy. Read the whole thing. It's nice to see that our efforts on this front have finally started to pay off.

As for our efforts in Las Vegas last weekend, we think that something good came out of that too, which we will explain in an upcoming post shortly. Good thing that Japan came through for us last night so that we'll be able to eat until our next payday.

OK folks, we really were refreshed by our trip (special thanks to Lenny K. re: Hector) and will be back with force this week. For now, however, we must reingratiate ourselves to our cruel slavemasters at the salt mine. Hap-py Tues-day.

NCAA Round 2 Day 2

Yeah, so yesterday went about as well as could have been expected. We told you how much easier it was to pick the Round 2 games than the other ones. Ha. So at this point, with our bearings currently indiscernible, we feel especially glad that Cleveland State plays the early game. Home is something that we're happy to cling to at the moment. Anyway, after seeing the Vikes thoroughly dismantle Wake on Friday, we're pretty sure they have the chops to hang with an Arizona team that came in on the bubble from a weak Pac-10. Advancing to the Sweet 16 has to be a bigger deal for the Vikes than it is for the Wildcats, who've had a disappointing season. At least one double digit seed will probably make the Sweet 16. Why not us?

Cleveland St. +2.5 over Arizona (60X)

As for the rest, we'll take

Syracuse -2.5 over Arizona St. (10X),
Siena +11 over Louisville (10X),
Davton +8 over Kansas (10X),
USC +4 over Michigan St. (10X), and a (2X) parlay with these four, and another with all five of today's picks.

Finally, if any of you feel like you want to make yourselves useful today, and can't figure out how, one way to do so would be to arrange four 4 12-hour morphine/valium drips to be sent to room 2417 at the Flamingo, ASAP. The incompetent room service staff here can't seem to manage this for us, and apparently we don't know the right people in this town.

Thanks! And enjoy the games today, folks.

NCAA Round 2, Day 1

We made it to Vegas in one piece, with Frownette and Coachie and Mrs. Ballgames too. Remaining in one piece has been a challenge, however. Especially because this is Frownette's first time in this town. Remember how he said a week ago that she was "so ready for Vegas." Consider how much that's like saying "I'm so ready for Judgment Day" and you might have an idea of where we're at.

The thing is, we don't doubt that she is ready for that now after tonight's proceedings. So please forgive us that our compulsion to accompany this extraordinarily hardy (lovely, enchanting, captivating) soul might have taken it's toll, and please just see generally last Thursday's post re: why we're picking who we're picking today. Additionally, what we've learned/remembered/realized about Gonzaga star Josh Heytvelt since last Thursday (we can't see for the life of us what's wrong with hunting and gathering) compels us to support the Bulldogs over and above the not insignificant support we were already inclined to provide by virtue of their taking down our Zips in round 1.

So, pursuant to last Thursday's sentiment, today's picks:

Washington -1 over Purdue (30X)

Gonzaga -10.5 over Western Kentucky (30X)

Maryland +8.5 over Memphis (30X)

And we'll take Duke -7.5 over Texas (20X), primarily because we appreciate Coach K's ability to take advantage of a win-win situation when one presents itself;

Enjoy the games, folks. And the weekend. We'll be back tomorrow for the NCAA picks, and might be back later today for some WBC action. Thoughts? Other than, Cleveland State: Wow.

Tourney Day 2, The Freakin' Deacons vs. Cleveland, and the Freakin Weekend; We're Leavin'!

Solid showing by the Zips last night, who just ran out of gas in the final 10 minutes. It was supposed to be a rebuilding year for the Zips, whose fans have a lot to look forward to in upcoming years with the continued maturation of Humpty Hitchens, and the addition of all-time blue chippiest MAC recruit, 7-footer Zeke Marshall. If you missed the liveblog fun last night at Deadspin, check it out here. We very much appreciated the boys hanging in for the push.

As we alluded to yesterday, we try our best to lay low in Round 1 so as to strike harder in Round 2. Again, the tourney's second round presents the biggest time-crunch that the sports books and wiseguys are presented with in the entire sports wagering season. They have less than 48 hours to react to 32 games to prepare for 16 more that will bring heavy action and a lot of "dumb money." Some of the round 2 games are already up, and two that look particularly interesting to us are Washington and Purdue as a "Pick'em," and Maryland getting 9 points against Memphis.

Of course, there are still games today, and laying low doesn't mean laying off. So, while we're on the homer tip, we're going to stick with our Cleveland St. and Ohio St. picks from yesterday. We especially love the Buckeyes today over Siena. As we noted yesterday: We do not understand why Siena is such a popular upset pick against the Buckeyes. All Coach Matta does is Coach his teams to postseason wins. Deep runs with Xavier teams, the Title game with freshmen laden Bucks in his second year, NIT Championship last year after being snubbed by the Big Dance. What else does this guy have to do?

There's also Cleveland State and Wake today. Wake is an extremely talented team that doesn't take very good care of the ball and is prone to mental lapses. Much like last night's Zips/Zags match, Wake is much bigger than Cleveland State, but we think the Vikings might keep it close with defense and by taking care of the ball, and are obliged to take them since at least one of these local teams that hasn't made the tourney since 1986 has to cover.

That's all the action for us today, folks. We're heading to Vegas this afternoon and will be fully covering (and hopefully fully covering) the Round 2 action, as well as the WBC final four. Coachie Ballgames will be there too, and the stars look to be aligned for one hell of a weekend at the book. Here's our horoscope for today:

March 20, 2009

What happens today and over the weekend will inspire you and in some way remind you that there is more to life than merely existing from day to day. You need a new goal and what happens next will give it to you. After that, just live your dream.

This either means that we're going to win enough in Vegas to quit our job at the salt mines or we're going to lose enough that we give up our dreams of ever leaving. Either way, at least something might be resolved this weekend. Anyway, Coachie's scope is even better:

March 20, 2009

A more open and optimistic phase begins today and in a matters of hours you will be aware that something significant has shifted in your environment, and in your favor. Make an effort to be more friendly with the people you meet. Strangers bring luck.

So yeah, Coachie's going to be talking to strangers aaalllll weeekend. We'll make sure of it. And we'll make sure to keep you posted.

Frownette will be there too, as noted, and the stars suggest that we keep her counsel as well:

March 20, 2009

The Sun's change of signs warns that a financial or business matter needs your immediate and personal attention. If you leave it to other people to resolve it will inevitably get worse, because they do not possess your intuitive grasp of what's gone wrong.

So yeah, there can be little doubt that something big's gonna go down this weekend. Stay involved in the comments, and especially give us your input for Round 2. We're also going to have a special WBC post from Bryan to preview the final four. Word to Fred Coupon who is leading the Frownie Madness bracket division after one day. Did anyone go 2-0 in the point spread division? Anyway, it's early, so don't get too excited. Enjoy the games, and the weekend folks!

Save a Zlipper for the Zippers!

Just in case you've been in an extra heavy coma and somehow didn't know: ZIPS ZIPS ZIPS NOW LIVEBLOG DEADSPIN GO!!!

Special word to Deadspin reader and Fast New Friend of the Frown, K Chambers, for his decidedly not unsignificant contributions to things.

Zips/Zags tied at 51!

The Frownie Fourteen

We've read at least one "capsule" for each team in the 64-team field (including each of the suprisingly well-done capsules in the NY Daily News), thus are at least as prepared as Frownette is to fill out our bracket. Before we get to that though, here are our 14 favorite things about about the 2009 Tourney on this first day.

1) Boundaries: This thing is the right size. Some folks say that the field should be doubled to 128 teams, or expanded in some other way. Doesn't at least one 16 seed have to beat a 1 seed before we can start thinking about this? Isn't it funny that this has never happened, yet 15s will beat 2s from time to time?

2) The Sports Book: 6 of your Elite 8 eliminated in the first two rounds? No worries, slugger, it's a fresh start before every game at the sports book.

3) Round 2: And you'd do best to take your fiercest cuts during the tournament's second round this Saturday and Sunday. The second round presents the biggest time-crunch that the sports books and wiseguys are presented with in the entire sports wagering season. They have less than 48 hours to react to 32 games to prepare for 16 more that will bring heavy action and a lot of "dumb money." The round 2 games should be the easiest for us average joes to pick. We were 75% against the spread in round 2 last year (3 for 4).

4) Shelter: With college football (and, less relevantly, baseball) currently dominated by warm-weather schools (and with no end to the trend in sight), it's nice to see the Big East and Big Ten holding it down on the basketball front. Too cold to play outside? Go in and shoot some hoops, kid. Our picks in our bracket and throughout this tournament will be influenced by this common sense trend.

5) Coach Matta: Whoever the Keith Dambrot lookalike is that was CBS's in-studio analyst for Sunday's Tournament Selection show couldn't pick a Siena upset fast enough after their #8-9 matchup with the Buckeyes was announced. Why? Isn't coaching really important in this tournament? What else does Coach Matta have to do? Before he came to Ohio State he turned Xavier into a powerhouse, making deep runs into the tournament's final week with the likes of Romain Sato and Lionel Chalmers. In his second season as Buckeyes coach, he had them in the title game. Last year, the Bucks were a near miss for the Big Dance, so, Matta led the boys to an NIT title. This guy just coaches in the postseason. You can have Siena. Our first first-round pick is Ohio State -2.5 over Siena in round 1 (30X) (consistent with the rules, only 20X of this pick counts for purposes of the 2009 Frownie Madness Challenge, Point Spread Division).

6) Cleveland, the New Frontier: Cleveland State Coach Gary Waters' and star Cedric Jackson's success upon leaving New York for the open spaces of Cleveland is consistent with what is fast becoming a well-established trend. We'll take the Vikes +8 over Wake Forest in round 1 (20X).

7) Tubby!: We're generally sympathetic to those accused of committing NCAA recruiting violations. We have no idea what it means to run a "clean program," and suspect that things like Maurice Clarett wouldn't happen if the rules didn't force the coaches to hide what goes on.  Tubby Smith's early success at Minnesota should be no surprise. Minnesota -4.5 over Texas in round 1 (20X).

8) Grievis!: Maryland star Greivis Vazquez called Duke home court Cameron Indoor Stadium "his house" before going in there and getting worked by the Blue Devils. Chutzpah? You bet! Don't like it? File a complaint with the Department of Greivises. Maryland +3 (30X, 20X for Frownie Madness) over Cal in round 1.

9) Humpty!: Akron Freshman PG Anthony Humpty Hitchens got his nickname because he used to dance as a baby every time Digital Underground's 'Humpty Dance' came through the speakers. Which calls to minds the immortal words that make it especially hard not to like the Zips.

Plus, Zip leaders the McNight brothers grew up playing pick-up games Southern Correctional Institute in Lancaster, OH, where their father is a prison guard. This can only help the Zips in their first round match against the much bigger and supposedly much more athletic Gonzaga team. We know Coach Dambrot will have the guys ready to play after the last two years' near misses. Go Zips! +13 over Gonzaga in round 1 (15X (doesn't count for Frownie Madness).

10) Birds of a Feather: Pursuant to inertia, people don't notice magnitude, or degree, as much as they notice change. I.e., when we've been doing hard stuff, it's generally easier for us to do more hard stuff.  Memphis and Gonzaga will put this theory to the test this March.

11) The Washington Huskies: Are in our Final Four. Local boy Jonathan Brockman stayed home to play for the Huskies, and while many consider his career to have been disappointing thus far, he's had an excellent senior season and is poised to end his career on a special note this March. Washington has the size up front to play with anyone, and freshman star PG Isaiah Thomas provides a spark, as well as a chance at redemption in what's generally been a bad year for Isaiah Thomases.

12) The Wake Forest Demon Deacons: Are in our Final Four. Wake leading scorer Jeff Teague, "an under-publicized prospect from Indianapolis who wears the number “0” on the back of his jersey as a reminder to all the people in his hometown who thought he wasn't good enough to play at this level." Wake forward Jeff Johnson is a 6'9 national karate champion who can do a standing backflip. But our favorite Deacon, is freshman PF Al-farouq Aminu, a future NBA lottery pick, who might just be the spark that can spare us from seeing Louisville play in the Final Four.

13) The Oklahoma Sooners: Are in our Final Four. Lock #1 NBA Draft pick Blake Griffin came back for his sophomore year to play a season with his brother Taylor, an Oklahoma Senior. That's something special. Hopefully, special enough to overcome the Tar Heels, who our visionary President boringly picked to win this thing.

14) Pickets to Tittsburgh!: Every year that Pitt makes the Tourney we name our bracket "Pickets to Tittsburgh" and pick Pitt to go further than anyone else in our pool, in hopes of the most glorious kind of victory. Every year Pitt gets bounced by the second round. We'd be fools to abandon this strategy this year, especially when we have another local boy who stayed home in Big East co-player of the year, sophomore DaJuan Blair; When we have a senior point guard in LeVance Fields who leads the nation in assist-to-turnover ratio; And senior scorer in Sam Young that gives Pitt the firepower that previous Panthers teams have lacked. If this all sounds like wishful thinking, well, we'll either see you in Tittsburgh, or we won't, but just don't forget that the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Happy Tourneytime, folks! You only have about 3 hours to fill out those brackets, and don't forget we'll be at Deadspin tonight to liveblog the Zips game (7:20).

Madness and Madmen

Hello there, folks. We won't take up too much of your time today because we all have brackets to fill out (don't forget)! But there are a five things to quickly discuss today:

First: Yeah, don't forget to fill out your Frownie Madness brackets, and/or submit your picks in the comments to participate in the point spread division. Instructions are here. Remember, prizes include a special "College Frownie" T-shirt; the rights to an Eric Mangini Fathead should Fathead ever make such a thing generally available to the general public (i.e., if Fathead just made one or two, like, just for Mangini, or even to mess with us, you wouldn't have the rights to that one); if Fathead ever makes one, and a Tim Couch rookie card, autographed by Frownie. We're trusting those competing in the point spread division to keep track of your own scores, and be ready to verify your score with links if necessary. You can put your picks in the comments of any post here, as long as you have them in by gametime.

Second: Don't forget that we're LIVEBLOGGING tomorrow night's ZIPS NCAA TOURNEY GAME over at DEADSPIN. Game starts at 7:20. We can promise you that the, if nothing else, the liveblog will be LIVE. We will also be here tomorrow before the game to preview the Zips game, and the Tournament as a whole.

Third: Tonight Cuba plays Japan for the last available semifinal slot in the World Baseball Classic. With Venezuela already in, if Cuba wins, the two most repressive regimes represented in this tournament will be in the final four. Maybe this would be likely, or even OK, if this were a bread-line jumping tournament, or a "pin the clamps on the captive" tournament, but baseball is the game of the land of the free. We'll take the team whose best players are all allowed to visit its country, the defending champs. Japan -130 over Cuba (20X).

Fourth: We're will be in Vegas this weekend for Round 2 of the Tournament, so prepare yourself for some vicarious living. Coachie Ballgames and Frownette will be there too, so the light will be more likely to escape the vacuum this time around.

Finally, and especially related to the fourth point: We recommend that you all read this story about a man who killed a hungry 12 foot carnivorous Tiger Shark, after wrestling with it for two hours. Absorbing the remarkable details of this story should help us react well in similar situations, as well as make us feel generally more comfortable in nature.

OK, have fun with those brackets folks. Get 'em done. We'll be back tomorrow for major Zippity-Zaggity fun.

Join the 2009 Frownie Madness!

OK, folks, by popular demand, we've set up an NCAA tournament pool for us all to play in. Before we tell you how to join, here's the stakes:

For the 1st place winner: A Cleveland Frowns/Coachie Ballgames original t-shirt, adorned with a graphic picturing "College Frownie," 1950's college Big Man on Campus style, in an Animal House style t-shirt, ballcap with the two beers and tubes, pleated slacks and penny loafers holding a pennant. If you are female, and you win (like females always do in these things), we will make this on a female-style shirt.

HOW BAD DO YOU WANT THIS?

HOW GOOD WOULD YOU LOOK IN IT?

(Yeah.)

And the second prize is huge as well. HUGE. If you come in second place, you will have the right to have us buy you an Eric Mangini Fathead, if Fathead ever decides to make one of him. We'll buy one for you. You will be first in line!

HOW BAD WOULD YOU WANT THAT???

(So bad. Yeah.)

And what about last place?

Last place gets a Tim Couch rookie football card, autographed by Frownie.

HOLY CRAP! NOT BAD FOR LAST PLACE!!!!! WHERE DO I SIGN UP?????

Easy. Just go to http://www.dawgsled.com/marchmadness/, create an account, then click on "2009 NCAA Men's Basketball," then "Join a Pool," then search for the pool called "Cleveland Frowns." The password for the pool is "frowning".

The rules for the bracket contest are at the dawgsled site, except for one. Nobody else is allowed to name their bracket "Pickets to Tittsburgh." That's OUR bracket name. Anyone else who names their bracket this will not be eligible for any of the prizes. Please forgive us this one indulgence. Thanks.

AND WAIT!!! THERE'S MORE:

Because Frownie Madness wouldn't be Frownie Madness if point spreads weren't involved, we will offer a second first prize t-shirt to the person who picks against the point spreads in the comments here at Frowns, and ends up with the highest number of units. The catch is that in the first round you are only allowed to pick two games per day, with a maximum of 20 units per pick. In the second round you may pick four games each day at 30 units per. For the final rounds you may pick all the games, with a max of 40 units per in the Elite 8, 50 per in the Final 4, and 75 in the Final. Note, you will also have to beat us to get this prize.

And one more thing: We'll be liveblogging Thursday night's Zips/Zags game for Deadspin. Zips! Zags! Funny folks, that selection committee.

Oh, and while we're here, we will take 6 points with the Magic, a team that the Cavs can't seem to beat (15X). The last time these teams played, the Cavs didn't have Delonte or Z. Here is our play on the idea that those fellas won't make a difference. Big guards like Hedo and Lewis give the Cavs problems, and Howard keeps LeBron out of the paint. We'll be glad to be wrong here, but we expect that tonight's the night that the Cavs will suffer their second home loss of the season.

Happy St. Pat's day, folks. Now get to picking!

UPDATE: Fred Coupon just left this timely comment: "With Ted Lilly on the mound for the US tonight, PR is a lock, especially coming off a shutout last night." No doubt! 15X on Puerto Rico +160 over the U.S.

Working to Whitewash Wahoo

Hey Gang. Sorry for no post today until now. Up to our pits in salt and thought we were OK leaving you with the 1980s party action.

Now here's some more fun. Last week, our friends at WFNY directed our attention to this post at Hardball Times that sucked us in with the following lede: The only thing worse than having the racist visage of Chief Wahoo staring down at you as you drive around the Indians' spring training facility is having the racist visage of Chief Wahoo staring down at you as you drive around what is no longer the Indians' spring training facility.

Well, yeah.

It turns out that "painting a water tower is an expensive undertaking," and that repainting the one in the Indians former spring training home of southwest Winter Haven, FL "is not budgeted at this time," according to Winter Haven spokeswoman Joy Townsend.

Hardball Times poster Craig Calcaterra capped this post by asking us to "[p]ut this in the 'causes I'd donate money to if I were rich' pile."

But Craig!, we said, you don't have to spend a dime to help the cause!

And voila!, this kind follow-up post by Mr. Calcaterra about our posts on the issue here at Frowns. Says Calcaterra:

"One need not demonize as racist the Indians' fans who grew up with Wahoo and take issue with folks who think like I do on the subject. Either way, I highly recommend that you read the Cleveland Frowns' post because it is devoid of the kneejerk p.c. sentiment so many people accuse the anti-Wahoo camp of harboring. And if their arguments convince you, sign their petition to retire Chief Wahoo."

And sign they did! We went from 63 all the way up to a whopping 85 signatures in a matter of three days! Behold, the power of the internet. And do what you can to spread the word, people. The Curse can't end too soon.

While we're here: Some beisbol action for us. Venezuelan fans in America are voting with their lungs at the WBC in protest of evil dictator Hugo Chavez via vicious booing of Chavez puppet Magglio Ordonez. This is great stuff that we fully support, and make our play here in hopes that the Venezuelan fans have an extended platform. Venezuela EVEN over Puerto Rico (35X). Our friend Bryan, who attended Saturday's Venezuela/Netherlands game in Miami on Saturday, has promised us a guest post. Stay tuned.

Party Like it's 1986!

Thanks to last night's 65-53 win over Buffalo in the MAC Tournament Final, the Akron Zips men's basketball team will play in the NCAA Tournament for the first time since 1986, along with the Cleveland State team, which earned an automatic bid earlier last week by winning the Horizon League Tournament and also last reached the Big Dance in 1986. With the Buckeyes sure to earn an at-large bid, it's especially great times for Northeast Ohio hoops.

But while the local college basketball teams might have recaptured some of the basketball magic of the mid-80s, the above pictured party scene tells us that there's a lot more magic from those days to be recaptured. Christ, what a fun party that looks like! What is Billy Dee saying to She-Ra? Look how the Snork can remain submerged in the pitcher of beer because of the tube at the top of its head! We wanna party with THAT dude. Would the equivalent 90s party be one one millionth as fun? Who would be at that one? The Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, Wu Tang, Power Rangers, Powerpuff Girls, Lara Croft, Austin Powers, Beavis and Butthead, Nirvana, Sonic the Hedgehog and the dudes from Pulp Fiction? Are we missing anyone important? Anyway, what a snoozefest! And how much worse would the 2000s one be than that? Who even gets invited to that one? Hannah Montana? The Jonas Bros? Gandalf, Frodo and Co.? Eminem? Britney Spears? Shrek? Thanks, but we'd rather stay home and stir cement with our eyelashes, and try to figure out what went wrong.

As for the games today, we'll take Duke +5.5 over Florida State (25X) in the ACC Final. Duke wanted another chance at North Carolina, but now Florida State has another chance at them. A big motivational swing there. These conference tournaments show time and time again how hard it is to beat the same decent basketball team three times in one season.

And we'll take the Buckeyes +6 over Purdue in the Big Ten Title Game (12.5X). Coach Matta has proven over and over again that he gets his teams to play in the postseason, but we especially like this pick because Purdue star Robbie Hummell has been slowed by a stress fracture in his spine. With the brutal toll that these consecutive conference tournament games take, we'll take the team with the star who doesn't have a broken back.

Enjoy Selection Sunday, folks!

(Thanks to Zoice.com for the image.)

Third Time a Charm for Zips Tonight at the Q?

For the third consecutive year Akron's mens basketball team has advanced to the MAC Tournament final to play for an automatic NCAA Tournament bid. In their previous two appearances, they've twice failed to advance. The Zips have only played in the Big Dance once in the program's history, back in 1986 where they lost to Michigan in the first round as a #15 seed.

We wrote one year ago about how the Zips failure to advance to the postseason in the two previous seasons might have had something to do with the nefarious influence of the NCAA, which had a strong interest in keeping a team laden with LeBron's old high school teammates out of the national spotlight. With those players having moved on, there should be no such influence tonight. Akron Coach Keith Dambrot and his men have surely learned something from these recent failures, and are surely desparate to avoid another near-miss. (Look at how focused Coach Dambrot looks in the above photo while his players celebrate.)

To do that, they'll have to overcome a big, young, and physical Buffalo team that was picked last in the Conference in the pre-season, just like the school's MAC Champion football team was, but earned a higher seed in the Tournament than the Zips and have played one fewer game due to a first round bye.

But we expect Akron, fueled by the home crowd at the Q, to overcome the Bulls' fresher legs with their edge in experience and motivation. Should be a great game. And with blue chip recruit seven-footer Zeke Marshall joining the Zips next season, an NCAA Tournament appearance should allow for a great transition to a new era of Akron Zips basketball.

The Pick: Zips -2 over Buffalo (50X).

Also, there's some prime time WBC action tonight with the US taking on Puerto Rico with an 8:00 start time. We'll take Puerto Rico +205 over the US for 10X. And 10X on potential team of destiny Syracuse +7.5 over Louisville for good measure.

The MAC Tournament and "The Economy"

It's the consensus these days that "times is hard," and after attending last night's MAC quarterfinals at the Q, we're far less prone to arguing that they're not.  Even before last night, while we were hesitant to engage in a "chicken or the egg" argument about it, we couldn't deny the importance of the fact that our friends are losing their jobs and their savings with increasing and unprecedented frequency, and are being told that it's the economy's fault. (It's not you, it's the economy. It's Bush.).


We've never made much of what the talking heads on cable news say about the economy, or even the viscissitudes of the stock market. But now, even the sports-talking heads have gotten into the act.  Like The Rizz, WKNR's and Fox 8's Tony Rizzo of the Really Big Show, who yesterday complained that Big Media and Big Sport were conspiring to use "the economy" as an excuse for what he views as substandard coverage of Indians spring training baseball (he complained that even the videos that were coming back from Arizona were hardly watchable and urged listeners to contact their local big media outlets to complain about it).

The likes of Rizz weighing in makes it especially hard for us to argue that, if things aren't "hard," they're not at least different. And it'd be especially hard for anyone to argue that if they were a member of the sparse crowd at last night's MAC quarterfinals at the Q. It was a ghost town out there. We spoke with a number of folks who were there last night and agreed that last year's first round games were twice as crowded. Again, understandable. We get that this year, folks from Toledo, Athens, and Kent might be less inclined to pay for the tank of gas up to and a night on the City of Lights. But we're still not sure how much that should bother us. 

What bothers us, especially after an especially hard week at the salt mine, is not the decision to forgo a night at the ballgame to save money for something else. We're more concerned today about the folks we know who are affirmatively unhappy in their current jobs, but are afraid to leave those jobs because of the current state of the economy. Those who have "good jobs," that might have made a change if things were different, but now feel especially trapped.

Our time at the Q last night told us that this might be the wrong way to look at the current economic conditions. Because while there were surely fewer people at the game, it seemed like we knew a larger percentage of the folks who were there than we would have had the games been as crowded as last years. Maybe the fact that there were fewer people there made it easier for us to connect with the people that were there.

Which suggests that maybe all "this economy" is really telling us is that we need to strengthen our connection with those people. The ones closer to us. Don't we all know enough people with "really good jobs," who make a lot of money, but don't have the time to raise their own kids? Or folks whose only idea of "the economy" is what cable news tells them about their portfolio, the same folks who don't know a single person who lives on their respective blocks?

So those who feel especially bad about being unhappy in those "good jobs" right now -- because, at least they have a job -- might consider that maybe the current unfavorable conditions are actually the best conditions in which to leave such a job. Because this is when things are up in the air. This is when more backs are against the wall. And aren't we at our best when our backs are against the wall? So with more backs against more walls, aren't things more likely to happen?

Isn't now the best time to remember that it's not "the economy" that makes us, rather, it's us that makes the economy? That acting locally is at least equally if not more important than thinking globally? That it's at times like these when folks are the most inclined to act locally? And that it's times like this when the most can come from acting locally, together?

The inches that we need are all around us, we've heard.

Some good advice we recently heard from someone who'd recently left one of these "good jobs" comes from Ark Linkletter of all people who said: "As early as possible in your life, find what you love to do and then do it. You will find that you will do that better than almost anyone else."

If you followed Mr. Linkletter's advice and started doing whatever it is that you love, it would probably be easiest to start by doing it locally.

So these locals here will take our Zips in tonight's MAC semifinals against Bowling Green (50X -- We'll update this post with the line when it's posted (Update: Zips -2.5)), and we hope that, in some meaningful way, you'll support your local team in the game that's most local to you. Economies, and sports book accounts, go up and down, but not everything does.

MACCIN!

Things at the Salt Mines have taken a dramatic turn for the better. Our pal here just waded through the canary corpses to bring us extra tickets that his boss gave him (note: his boss, not ours) to tonight's MAC Tournament proceedings at the Q. Q = Que bueno suerte!!! This will give us an early close look at the contenders for Saturday's MAC Title game, which we will be fully covering here at Frowns (and hopefully covering fully on as well).

This year is the first year that the whole MAC Tournament, not just the Championship, is in Cleveland. As you have no doubt already noted, the fact that the Mid-American Conference Tournament is held here in Cleveland basically makes Cleveland the Capital of Mid-America, which apparently includes the states of Illinois, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and New York. Who knew? Good times for Cleveland.

And good times IN Cleveland is what we're hoping for, so, tonight's picks are:

Ohio University +1 over regular season champ Bowling Green (10X): OU is the biggest party school in the MAC. The farther they get in the tournament, the better for the local bar scene and economy.

and

Akron +1 over Miami (10X): Home teams always win in the MAC and this is a lot more of a home game for Akron than it is for Miami, which is especially good for us homers tonight -- also good for the economy. And we generally always like to pick teams coming off of miracle comeback wins, especially teams with point guards named "Humpty" Hitchens.

"That's alright cause I get things cookin'!"

Cookin? With a parlay?

"Doowhatchalike."

Cool. (5X) Parlay, Akron and OU.

Good stuff today, Frownites. See y'all tomorrow.

UPDATE! Cavs are playing? Favored by 4.5 in Phoenix? Why? Who will stop Shaq? Sorry Lenny, taking Phoenix +4.5 over Cavs (15X).

Soul Brothers

When somebody owns a major professional sporting franchise who for whatever reasons has no business owning that franchise, fans of that franchise who for whatever reasons want to, need to, love that franchise will, for as long as that particular owner who has no business owning continues to own, continue to have experiences a lot like ESPN's Bill Simmons had when he watched his beloved Clippers lose a 20 point fourth quarter lead to the Cavs last Tuesday night.

Really, an amazing piece of work by Bill Simmons in breaking down this game. And we can really relate. As Browns fans we feel a special kinship to Clippers fans. In recognition of the fact that major professional sporting clubs are public trusts that should never be owned by the likes of Randy Lerner and the Clippers’ Donald Sterling, we think that we should join Clippers fans to start an exclusive club for fans of franchises with owners like ours. Member dues could go toward special guest speakers for public therapy sessions, and legal fees for eminent domain proceedings. Who else would be in this club? What would it be called? Downtrodden should be in the title, we think, but we haven't been able to come up with a good name yet.

Two other things this morning:

Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon rips Manny Ramirez in the latest issue of Esquire magazine. Calls him a “cancer.” Said that Manny “was on a different train! . . . We got rid of him, and we moved on without him. . . . Nobody is ever going to be allowed to do that." Wait…didn’t this "different train" lead the Red Sox to both of their recent Championships? Haven’t they won none without him? Is that what cancer does?

Finally, here is a fantastic piece by Jesse Lamovsky of the Cleveland Fan on Cleveland State’s 1986 NCAA Tournament run. Did you know that not only did they beat Indiana in the first round, they also beat A-10 Champ St. Joe’s to advance to the Sweet 16 where they lost to David Robinson’s Navy on a last second tip by the Admiral. “[Cleveland State Coach] Kevin Mackey had visions of Cleveland State as a program with the stature of DePaul, Louisville, Marquette, and the other great urban hoop powers- a player at the national level. His dream stands in the form of the 13,000-seat Convocation Center, completed in 1991 to house just such a prestigious program. But Mackey wasn’t around to see it. After leading the Vikings to a pair of NIT appearances following the Sweet Sixteen run, he was arrested outside a Cleveland crack house in July of 1990 and was fired shortly thereafter.”

A little pick-me-up from time to time obviously wasn’t keeping Kevin Mackey from being a productive member of society. But they threw him in prison anyway. What a waste. We enthusiastically support this year’s Vikings as a Phoenix rising from the ashes of Kevin Mackey’s broken dreams.

Happy Thursday.

Best Tribe Uniforms Ever

As we approach another Indians baseball season under the boot of the Curse of Chief Wahoo, we're especially appreciative of the outfits worn by the 1921 World Championship Tribe. From Uniwatch, via Coachie Ballgames; some baseball teams (and apparently some hockey teams) used to wear special "World Champions" jerseys in the year after defending their title. Talk about "owning it." This is a trend that we'd love to see come back. Why hasn't it? Too "un-PC"? Are teams afraid of putting a "bulls-eye" on their chests? Maybe strapping on the World Champion jerseys every game-day would help them get over that. We know it would help us.

One team that might test this theory next season is your Cleveland State Basketball Vikings, who beat Butler last night for the Horizon League Title and an automatic bid in the NCAA Tournament. It's their first bid since 1986, when, as a #14 seed they knocked off Bobby Knight's Hoosiers. Good hoops news in the City of Lights.

Some other very good things for you this Tuesday morning:

Best Cavs comeback ever?

Best Zips comeback ever?

Best Major League Baseball prospect ever?

Best Photo of 1980s California Angels ever?

Enjoy. Discuss. And we're still interested in your thoughts on Twitter.

For Your Enjoyment

You might get a good laugh out of this story about a fake Rick Reilly Twitter feed set up by KSK's Drew Magary and friend. We especially enjoyed the "bogus Rielly Tweets" at the end.

Talk Twitter in the comments and you're sure to be engaged.

NFL Draft Pre-Preview

Hey, Gang. We forgot to tell you that the folks at NFL Outsider asked us to participate in a mock NFL Draft over there. The piece ran last week. Here it is. We had the #5 pick, and couldn’t trade down, so we picked Maualuga on the assumption that we had to take either a linebacker or a cornerback, and that we could draft one at #5 and pay him #15 money. Maualuga looks to us like one of those guys like Ward or Polamalu who the Steelers might grab with a late pick only to have him lord over us and the rest of the league for a good decade. Or maybe we’re just getting caught up in the ethnicity and the hair. Dunno. Anyway, after we thought about this more, we remembered that football games are won and lost in the trenches and decided that we might rather go with a stud defensive lineman like B.J. Raji or Brian Orakpo. We thought about the Vikings of last year and the Jags of two and three years ago. Those two teams won a lot of games with two stud defensive linemen, and hardly anything else on their team. Anyway, we’d be happy with any of these three. What do you folks think? The draft is a little over one month away, and is generally the most exciting part of the football season for Browns fans. We have to own this.

There are a few other items on which we would like to hear your thoughts:

Classic NY Post Headline: PERV GROUP PUTS 10G HIT ON ANDY -- It's true. NAMBLA, the National Association of Man-Boy Love has put a $10,000 bounty on NY State AG Andrew Cuomo's Head.

Also from the Post: "President Obama ordered a bronze bust of Winston Churchill (which Tony Blair had given George W Bush after 9/11) returned to the British embassy." According to the Post, "a stunning posthumous attack on the memory of a man who was not only the living embodiment of the Anglo-American special relationship (Churchill was half American), but of its ideological foundations." Seems rude.

Finally, more Browns news: The ABJ's Marla Ridenour reports, with an optimistic lede, that "Browns coach Eric Mangini corrected one of last season's weaknesses today with the signing of veteran cornerback Hank Poteat from the New York Jets." Corrected? With a guy who's played in 94 NFL games and started only 18 of them? Are you as excited about this signing as Marla? Are you as excited as we are about Maualuga? Are you excited about Tuesday? Let us know, and have a good one.

More Fun with Magic Numbers: The Picks of 3-9-9

Pursuant to the below-discussed Magic Numbers Theory, and the accompanying analysis in the comments by KSams, the picks for 3/9/09 are as follows:

Heat -5 over Bulls (18X)

Lakers -2.5 at Blazers (18X)

and, Nuggets -4 over the Rockets (18X).

We agree with Mr. Sams' wariness of the Piston's starting threes, and are also going to lay off of the Hawks tonight out of fear of Williams and Horford. We added the Nuggets, who have a 4-1 advantage over Houston in threes likely to contribute tonight.

We're actually not crazy about any of these picks -- consensus picks at sportsbook.com, all three -- but we're obliged to abide by this remarkable strategy, and hope that it continues to pay off.

Remember, this is a "Cleveland Sports Blog," not a "Sports Wagering Blog."

Thx.

Frowning Around the World

With the Cavs going down in flames in Boston as we type, we're feeling especially thankful that we have friends in faraway places. Specifically, our good friend BJ, who's alot closer to tomorrow morning's WBC action than we are, and has gone out of his way to offer a very specific recommendation here about a ballgame that inspires him to ask us to:

"Think OSU/Michigan except with war, internment camps, slavery, rape and denial that anything inappropriate took place."

If we weren't Browns fans we would say that we could hardly imagine such a thing.

Read the whole thing, Frownie Faithful; consider that if the folks pictured above are so captivated, this game ought to at least help us get our minds off tonight's embarrassment in Boston. Let's regroup, and re-cover, with a 30X play on Korea +240 over Japan in the Pool A match.

(We'll take the Nuggets +9 over the Jazz too, while we're here with such a bad taste in our mouths. 25X.)

CAVS and CELTICS . . . TONIGHT!

Tonight looks to be the night we cash in on East Coast bias. What else could explain that the Garnett-less Celtics are favored by 1.5 points tonight over the Cavs in Boston? The Cavs are better than the Celtics at every single position except for one (we'd rather have Rondo over Mo Williams, we would NOT prefer Ray Allen to Delonte). The Cavs just got Joe Smith back (welcome back, Joe!) and are just humming these days after going 3-1 on a tough tough road trip with two remarkable fourth quarter comebacks against playoff teams. And why shouldn't we expect LeBron to D up on Pierce the way he did on Wade in the 4th quarter on Monday?

Additionally, our good friend Biff of Cry Me a Cuyahoga River will be at the game in person tonight. He just landed at Logan (Mankins) International Airport in Boston and reports that over 20 Cavs fans were on that flight. Burn that f*cker down, guys! You folks might not know that Biff is probably largely responsible for Lenny K's revered presence at our own humble site, as we suspect that Lenny found us by way of Cry Me a Cuy. What this means is that the Spirit of Lenny K. will be strong in Boston's building tonight.

40% of the action on this game at Sportsbook is on the Celtics! What are these people thinking???

50X on the Cavs + (PLUS!!!) 1.5 over the Celtics. Don't forget to take the Rockets tonight too. Happy freakin' weekend, everybody! Go CAVS!

Answering the Call

At 9:10 this morning an Anonymous commenter left the following comment here at Cleveland Frowns: "WOW, the browns just traded brady quinn to the 49ers...thoughts?"

We searched everywhere for confirmation of this rumor, and found nothing. We even called our buddy Hammer of 850 WKNR-ESPN Radio who laughed and told us they hadn't heard anything at the Really Big Show.

After thinking about this for a few minutes, it became obvious to us what's going on here, and it's good news for Browns fans. After months upon months of being so painfully right about pretty much everything we've ever said about the Browns here at Frowns, someone in Berea has finally noticed. It's pretty clear that anonymous commenter 9:10 is a member of the Browns front office who wants to know our thoughts on a potential Quinn trade.

Far be it from us to shirk such an important responsibility: So, unless you're getting Patrick Willis and/or Alex Smith and a first rounder for him, DON'T DO IT, DUMMIES! Trading Quinn would be a crushing blow to the already tramped spirits of Browns fans everywhere. Columbus native Quinn is a symbol of hope here in Cleveland, and shown that he has the potential to be a special leader. He doesn't have the greatest arm, but neither did Bernie or Joe Montana. Quinn has a tremendous work ethic and is more athletic/mobile than Kosar or Montana ever were. We've been through too much in Cleveland and we've waited too long for Quinn. If he's going to flop, we need him to do it right here in the Orange and Brown. Multiply the force of this argument by approximately thirty-thousand if your alternative QB is Derek Anderson.

Thanks for checking with us. We realize that it is our civic duty to respond to such inquiries and hope and expect that you will continue to make them with increasing frequency until our services are no longer required.

Shuqs, Shaq . . .

this couldn't have been the right approach:

The episode that inspired this latest Shaq rant came after O'Neal took an elbow to the chest from Dwight Howard during a third-quarter Magic possession during Orlando's 111-99 victory and crumbled to the floor looking to draw an offensive foul.

"I was shocked, seriously shocked," Van Gundy said, "and very disappointed because he knows what it's like. Let's stand up and play like men, and I think our guy did that tonight."
O'Neal acknowledged he had flopped, but said it was the first time he had done it in his career. Over the years, O'Neal has been particularly critical of players (most notable Vlade Divac) who had flopped while trying to defend him.

"Flopping is playing like that your whole career. I was trying to take the charge, trying to get a call. It probably was a flop, but flopping is the wrong use of words. Flopping would describe his coaching," O'Neal said, steering the conversation back to Van Gundy. "I'm not going to just sit abound and let nobodies take shots at me, and he is a nobody to me. And if he thinks he can get in a little press conference and take shots at me like I'm not going to [give] something back, he's got another thing coming."

"I said I flopped, but flopping is falling and crying and complaining to the ref. I tried to take a charge. The rules say when a guy comes into your chest and you fall, that's an offensive foul, and that's all I tried to do. I fell, didn't complain, he made a great move, spun and dunked it, but flopping is the wrong choice of words. So that's all I've got to say about that, but again, I despise frontrunners, I despise them. And that's what he is to me."

Maybe the Big Fella is on to something re: "flopping." Maybe it's not so bad, going with the flow and falling away from, instead of leaning into an offensive foul. Varejao, and perhaps even Lenny K. would agree with this. But the shots at Stan Van? Why? Even if Stan is dead wrong about flopping, why would someone as old and wise as Shaq not take what's been long established as the correct approach to any such foolishness.

With Shaq's head obviously not in the right place, this is all plenty of reason for us to take the Rockets tonight -6.5 over the Suns (35X).

The Garnett-less Celtics are favored by 2 in Boston over the Cavs tonight, which surprises us. What say you of this? We'll be back with our pick for that one later.

Vicarious Living: Night 4 of 4

Tonight is our last night in Las Vegas with our buddy. Solidarity is again the word of the day. It's worked well for us so far this week.

Here are the picks:

Nuggets -7 over Blazers (20X): They did the right thing suspending Carmelo, who was cool about it. Plus, it seems like there's something special about that Detroit team without Iverson that the Nuggets lost to to two nights ago that we'd like to err on the side of overvaluing.

Mavericks +6 over Hornets (15X): We like to see an owner hold his players directly accountable the way Cuban did with the Mavs this week. Can you even imagine, Browns fans?

Dayton +10 over Xavier (10X): The Dayton Flyers, home in the birthplace of the Wright Brothers, have a guy named Wright that plays for them. This is too big of a line for a rivalry game.

Illinois -1 over Penn State (5X): Our buddy is in Vegas with a bunch of people from Illinois with whom he'll be watching the game.

More fun tomorrow. Enjoy the almost weekend in Vegas, and the unseasonably balmy Cleveland weather. It's so much like we're really there we can hardly believe that we're not.