After Cord Phelps’ 11th inning walk-off home run yesterday, he’s now officially saved the day twice in a mere seven days on the job in the Majors. That’s priceless production no matter what the rest of Cord’s stats say, and since we get so much grief for giving our good friend Aaron Goldhammer a free pass in these parts, it’s especially important to note that Hammer was on the ESPN Cleveland airwaves last week with his partner Tony Rizzo miserably gripping about the fact that the rookie got off to a 1-for-11 start at the plate.
The argument, which, in fairness to Hammer, was driven by Rizzo, went something like this: Because the Indians were suffering a 6-16 skid in an absurdly tough 24-game stretch of the schedule (including series against the Yankees, Red Sox, Rays, Rangers, and Tigers, who are literally the first, second, third, fourth and fifth best teams in the American League aside from the Tribe), they needed to make a trade or some other significant move, even though they were still (are still) in first place in the Central Division, even though nobody expected them to finish higher than fourth, and even though they’re only in Year 4 of the current “every four or five years” cycle. That the Indians had not or would not make a trade or some other significant move was conclusive justification for an “I’m going to turn in my season tickets” rant from Rizzo and also, of course, “the Dolans are cheap.”
Hammer and Rizzo mocked the call-up of prospect Phelps as part of this argument, along the lines of, “we need to make a big move, and the best they can do is call up Cord Phelps!? Cord Phelps is only batting .100!”
Again, at the time, Phelps had all of eleven major league at-bats under his belt over the course of three Major League games, which didn’t stop Hammer from calling eleven “a significant number” of plate appearances.
At this point, as noted, Phelps now has a full seven Major League games of experience, and it’s obviously an especially good time to remember the old line about how it takes 21 days for anybody to make or break a habit, which has to include the habit of hitting productively in the Major Leagues. However sound the recorded science is behind the 21-day theory, any lobotomized sub-primate should understand that weekends are important, that there are good weekends, bad weekends, and okay weekends, and that it’s impossible to conclude anything about anyone’s ability to sustain any kind of behavior before nature at least has a chance to give the subject one of each kind.
It’s also why folks who are especially serious about sustaining a certain habit traditionally give themselves an extra week on top of the first three so as to be especially sure.
So, whatever Hammer. Whatever Rizz. Cord Phelps? Probably a Hall of Famer. Seriously, look at that swing. And if 21 (28?) days pass and the best thing that comes out of it is that Phelps got a cup of coffee to learn that pretty isn’t everything, that couldn’t be the worst thing in the world either.
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Relatedly, regarding other seemingly inevitable elements of Cord Phelps’ future, on July 4th for the home game against the Yankees, the Indians will be giving away bronze replicas of Cleveland’s most legendary two-sport star, The Bob Feller Statue. Don’t think we’ll miss that one.
Or WFNY night at the ballpark this Wednesday. The Internet is People. Come through (great deal on tickets, too).
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Now for some bad news, as it turns out that we missed Dennis Rodman’s celebrity DJ turn at Tequila Ranch over the weekend. Another massive failure of society that nobody told us about this. If anyone knows anyone who attended this thing, please get in touch.
And a mind-blowing post from MTV.com (via Deadspin) on the 10 most offensive moments in World Wrestling Entertainment history.
Which is all for today. Hope everyone’s week gets off to a decent start.


