Cord Phelps Saves the Day

by Cleveland Frowns on June 9, 2011

The Indians prospect called up this week to spark a suddenly moribund offense might have gone 0-4 in his Major League debut last night, but if it wasn’t for Cord Phelps we’d have poked a straw through the bag of our morphine drip after looking at the Cleveland.com sports page this morning.

Really, take away the two pieces on the Tribe prospect from the sixteen items on the front sports page now and you’re left with: No less than five (five!) items on Terrelle Pryor and/or the scandalized Buckeye football program; two AP rips on LeBron, including a reminder that DeShawn Stevenson is not only someone who were still talking about but that he’s one of the good guys now; there’s an NFL lockout update; a recap of last night’s extra-inning Tribe loss, the latest chapter in the early-June meltdown; a piece on ritualized animal torture; one on a hockey game (!!!); and one on a Texas Rangers draftee who was paralyzed in an outfield collision. Even the article on the Cavs number one pick in this June’s draft reminds us that the Cavs get the number one pick in the year when everybody’s saying the top pick has to be used on a slow pudgy* six-foot tall point guard who played in like six college games. And the only thing left is a piece on how a couple of local high-schoolers were picked in the MLB draft, which is nice, but one of them plays for the Brecksville Bees. BEES!!!

Um. At least somebody’s having fun somewhere.

And there’s always vaca.

But most importantly, the darkest hour right before the light and all that, so something really good is probably going to happen really soon. It’s almost enough to make us wager on the Mavaliers tonight but if it’s not that it’s for sure going to be something, which is pretty exciting, so.

—————

To honor the launch of ESPN’s new Grantland website, here’s a good read from Deadspin’s Tommy Craggs on why the website’s namesake Grantland Rice “really sucked.” And despite that, we’re still optimistic about the site at least because Rafe Bartholomew was hired as an editor for the site, and you’d see why if you read this adaptation/excerpt on “The Legend of Black Superman” from Bartholomew’s book on “the Phillippines’ unlikely love affair with basketball” (Disclosure: Bartholomew is our former roommate’s cousin not even kidding).

Which is all for today. Hope everyone has a decent one.

*Sort of a joke.

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    I like the idea of Grantland from the standpoint of not chasing views and only putting out limited content, ie quality over quantity. 

    What I’d love to know more about is the business model. With the names they’ve assembled – including a full editorial team – how in the world do they plan to make it profitable? Has there been analysis of this anywhere?

    • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

      Paywall!

    • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

      Paywall!

    • Anonymous

      as far as i can tell grantland = the new yorker of sports websites.  i suppose this means i’m in and that the rest of you grantland fans are just as limo lib as i am.  yay :)

      • http://brian23.com Brian

        Oh if there’s something there that interests me I’ll read it but I tend to
        get lost with too many words. : /

        • Anonymous

          wait – are you talking about getting lost in the new yorker or in grantland or in that super airplane book?

          lolol

          • http://brian23.com Brian

            I am starting a site called Super Grantland

      • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

        New Yorker?  That skews way to the white of me:

        http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/05/12/99-grammar/

        • Anonymous

          lol i think that comment + your professed dislike of grantland (because of
          the too many words thing) conclusively proves my theory about limo libs (and
          that you aren’t one).

          oh – and i didn’t find any cartoons at all on grantland, let alone
          inscrutable new yorker-esque ones. the best i could find was this, and it
          hardly counts b/c the author explains what it means. i hope this is only a
          temporary lapse, and that simmons is still looking for a good cartoonist.

          [image: La Noire]

          • Anonymous

            i like that you liked my comment even though i couldn’t make the image show up – which wasn’t that big a deal because the cartoon part of the comment wasn’t the good part anyway – but just in case you want to see it here’s the link:

            http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6625747/la-noire

          • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

            I agreed with everything you said – Maybe he’ll just syndicate Marmaduke – it’s funny because he’s a big dog that acts like a little girl!

            At any rate, he’d better do better than just posting screen shots of a video game no one will want to play. 
             

  • http://twitter.com/lilOUmikey Michael Tricarichi

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  • Anonymous

    i read this article at the Atlantic yesterday that is very critical of the Simmons site. 
    http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2011/06/bill-simmonss-grantland-is-doomed-even-before-launch/240095/

    i, of course, will not be able to assess the site myself, since I have placed Simmons on a lifetime ban for his disgusting lebron excuse for Game 4: he was tired from playing too many minutes 
    (i have heard he has walked this excuse back a bit…..but i wouldn’t know, because the lifetime ban is just that)

    • Smittypop2

      Simmons Lebron article today is pretty good. You should check it out and lift the ban. He mentions the tiredness, but makes a pretty damning argument against him.

      This is smittypop2 btw. I can’t sign into disqus on my new laptop for some reason.

      • Anonymous

        smitty – it’s not your new laptop.  it’s frownie.  he somehow made that happen to my disqus account awhile back too – right about the time when we were in some big debate about something really important and i was being totally right and he was being totally wrong – does this sound familiar?

        • Anonymous

          lol you wish.

        • Anonymous

          Frownie is a cyber-terrorist.

          • Anonymous

            the very best sort of cyber-terrorist.  yes. 

  • http://bryanjoiner.com/ Bryan Joiner

    As long as Simbo is the curator of the site and not the editor, it’ll do fine. Too much money not to. But anyone (or any editor, like *this guy*) who read The Book of Basketball without a red pen handy probably wanted to cry. FIX YOUR WORDS DOGG

    • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

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  • Anonymous

    Amazing job today Frownie!
    You act surprised that you are in Cleveland and all of the sports stories are depressing.
    Where are you from?  You have to be from NYC, or LA.
    In Cleveland there are a few constants:
    The weather is dreary, or about to be worse.
    The job market looks promising if minimum wage will suffice.
    And, the (pick any Cleveland team), are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs even earlier this year.
    Do you really expect anything else Frownie?

  • Anonymous

    Amazing job today Frownie!
    You act surprised that you are in Cleveland and all of the sports stories are depressing.
    Where are you from?  You have to be from NYC, or LA.
    In Cleveland there are a few constants:
    The weather is dreary, or about to be worse.
    The job market looks promising if minimum wage will suffice.
    And, the (pick any Cleveland team), are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs even earlier this year.
    Do you really expect anything else Frownie?

    • Anonymous

      “The weather is dreary, or about to be worse.
      The job market looks promising if minimum wage will suffice.
      And, the (pick any Cleveland team), are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs even earlier this year.”

      DISLIKE Button!!!!

      OK, I’ll concede on the point about the weather, although 95 degree Texas nights aren’t very appealing.

      • Anonymous

        No offense intended McB, I still love Cleveland.
        However, I do not know why?
        You are correct, it is hot here in Texas, but please remember, it is not the heat, it is the stupidity.

        • Anonymous

          Visited Amarillo for a month. Loved the Canyons. Adapted to the heat. Could not wait to get away from the culture.

          They put on some kind of show for (probably local) tourists called “Texas!” that narrated all of southwest American history as a friendly competition between large and small ranchers, and ended…I KID YOU NOT….with an old Native American chief saying he had walked all the way from Oklahoma to deliver them this message: that he was finally content to die because he knew good people were now in control of the land. Then he keeled over and died, the big and small ranchers started whooping and shooting their guns in the air and singing some God Bless Texas song, and they shot fireworks up in the canyon.

          Honestly, it made Chief Wahoo look like Greek Catholic Iconography.

          • Anonymous

            You are correct Bup, most of the the native/naive texans are crazy.
            WHen I moved to Houston during the oil boom to sell oilfield stuff the kids from up north took over that city.
            The locals were sporting “Native Texan” bumper stickers and we responded with an even more popular “Naive Texan” sticker barrage.
            Almost all of my friends and most of the people I work with as well, are from somewhere besides Tejas.
            Do you mean Palo Duro Canyon?  I have done a bunch of races there.

          • Anonymous

             Yup Palo Duro. Really an amazingly beautiful place. Hard to imagine racing in that environment (running?.) You must have to strap 20 lbs of water to yourself to keep from passing out?

          • Anonymous

            I used to work in a resort town in CO, and Texans were the the most hated tourist.  Some favorites:
            1. “What do y’all do with all them moguls in the summer time?”
            2. “At what altitude to the deer turn into elk?”
            3. “What do you mean you don’t have any XXL jackets?  In Texas, I’m a medium.”
            4. “Why does your cross walk signs beep?” Texan. 
                “That is for blind people,” helpful worker.
                “Well in Texas, we don’t let our blind people drive.”

  • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

    My take on Grantland:  too many words.

    I hope you are right re: darkest before the light. I feel one big BLAH right now towards anything sports related. To quote the immortal 50 Cent:

    “Sunny days wouldn’t be special, if it wasn’t for rain
    Joy wouldn’t feel so good, if it wasn’t for pain “

    • http://bryanjoiner.com/ Bryan Joiner

      I think they’ve gone a bit overboard with the words. I really like the JKC blog post, or whatever it is, on Dirk. There will be good stories, and people will find them the way anyone finds them: someone will send them a link. But it’s ESPN, and overkill comes with the territory.

      • Anonymous

        but will there be inscrutable cartoons?  that’s the real question.

    • http://bryanjoiner.com/ Bryan Joiner

      I think they’ve gone a bit overboard with the words. I really like the JKC blog post, or whatever it is, on Dirk. There will be good stories, and people will find them the way anyone finds them: someone will send them a link. But it’s ESPN, and overkill comes with the territory.

  • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

    My take on Grantland:  too many words.

    I hope you are right re: darkest before the light. I feel one big BLAH right now towards anything sports related. To quote the immortal 50 Cent:

    “Sunny days wouldn’t be special, if it wasn’t for rain
    Joy wouldn’t feel so good, if it wasn’t for pain “

  • Anonymous

    This is completely unrelated to anything, but does anyone like Jim Rosenhaus? Why do we need three announcers? Every time he is on I become upset, knowing that I am missing an opportunity to listen to Hamilton. When Hegan is absent, can’t Tom handle calling the game by himself? 

  • Anonymous

    I’m just really really really not buying that the site got named by the web designer and they all were just too lazy to rename it or whatever. That’s like a palin type lie.

    • CleveLandThatILove

      What’s a palin type lie? 

      • Anonymous

        I take it to be the kind of lie that you don’t really need to makeup/tell, but you do it anyway because extreme narcisism won’t allow you to admit even the tiniest of  potential faults or avenues of valid criticism.

        I can well imagine from B.S.’s incredibly long-winded style that he does indeed do some minor worship at the altar of Grantland Rice, and from the amount of time that he spends talking about himself that he has a bit of narcissism.

        Shouldn’t go political with that…inadvertent and editing out now.

  • Anonymous

    Heat Pick’em is money, but 70% of public being on them kind of scares me..  if bron chokes again tonight it’s def going to be a long couple more days for him, let’s see how he responds..  i’m predicting a monster (but i said that for the last 2 games too)

    • Anonymous

      nice score!

      • Anonymous

        Heat in 7, been my prediction all along..  

        • Anonymous

          what is your prediction about Lebron now?

          • Anonymous

            is the series over??   last i checked the winning team needs to win 4 games..  DERP

          • Anonymous

            A)Derp is one of the stupidest words/expressions ever.

            B)Way to avoid my actual question.

          • Anonymous

            DERP!

          • Anonymous

            how did i avoid your question?  as always, i have said Heat in 7..

          • Anonymous

            Because I asked you about Lebron only. I didn’t need  you to reiterate your series prediction.

          • Anonymous

            triple double ain’t bad..  of course the 4th quarter shooting was once again less than desirable..   gotta give it to the Mavs for hitting shots down the stretch..  we’ll see how they do back in Miami.. 

  • CleveLandThatILove

    Uh oh… My ire is piqued big time now.  Narcissism?  Yeah, that was kind of a reach.  She must be on your mind, or under your skin.  What’s that all about? I could maybe see how you got from point A to B if….

     BS, his family, his life, and pretty much every word he uttered were dissected and endlessly slandered by virtually every media outlet known to man… after having the balls to step up and accept a daunting and life-changing call to serve his country on a national level.  

    You’d put up some kind of shield as well if you had any type of survival skills.

    There is a big difference between being a self-assured, comfortable-in-your-own-skin person and falling in love with your own reflection.  Ask John “I feel pretty” Edwards. 

    That is all…..

    PS – Am still a fan of your posts, but maybe you should stay in your sports wheelhouse. 

    • CleveLandThatILove

       Shoot, this was supposed to be in reply to Bupalos, not you Tacos.  Long week.

    • Anonymous

      Retracted and regretted on any and all political fronts. Already edited out. I always forget people become attached to these politicians as much as their teams and we don’t need that confusion here. But what’s this about bill Simmons and his family and whatnot? Are we on the same topic? I was unaware he parachuted in behind the beaches at Normandy or whatever.

      • CleveLandThatILove

        Just pointing out that if Sarah Palin has been less than truthful, chances are it was in self-defense since she and her family have pretty much been in front of a firing squad from the get go.  I don’t see how that compares to a sportswriter droning on and on about himself of his own accord. 

        I hope I don’t sound like I’m reprimanding, I honest to God for the life of me do not understand why one dynamic woman doing her thing can make seemingly intelligent people lose their minds.

        I’m not attached to her, by the way.  Just bewildered is all. 

        Have a good weekend – Go Tribe and Mavs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Anonymous

          I do think it’s basically the same reaction but agree the sportswriter has much less excuse for it than the politician. It’s probably true that the latter can’t afford not to try and appear bulletproof which maybe is easy to confuse with narcissism. Even when it gets a little silly http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjJgcDaOlbQ&feature=player_embedded it’s perhaps understandable in context. Politics is inherently and unavoidably fraudulent.

          Simmons on the other hand really has no excuse I can see for dodging the name. But then I wasn’t a fan from the start as I find 90% of what he writes unreadable, mostly because he just writes about 90% more than he should. Plus, too, Boston!

  • Anonymous

    just remember: i have been claiming LeBron sucks before it was cool.
    i am like George Orwell.  Or Jesus.  Or someone special.  

    • Anonymous

      I suppose you mean LBJ letting Jason Terry get over and around him late in the game.
      I could not tell if some of the Mavs were playing way beyond there normal skill level, or Lebron lost his intensity.
      I could believe that he tightened up when the game was on the line and that would explain his lack of offense late in the game.
      I am certainly not a LeBron fan, but it would make sense that he just got tired, because even if he was “chocking” on offense, his intensity on defense would still be there, perhaps even stronger.
      Do you think he may have just been tired, or drained by the constant fervor, on and off the court?

      • eldaveablo

        Assuming he WAS tired, which is a good-sized assumption, I still don’t view that as a viable excuse. Did people cut McNabb slack when he was vomiting at the Super Bowl from being tired? 

        The constant ferver is of his own creation. Lebron consistently milks the media for every drop of attention he can get (see: The Decision, Intro pep Rally, etc.), he should understand that the limelight does not go on & off based on his desire for it. For better or for worse, he is the center of attention. 

        Again, assuming he WAS tired, is he going to blame his teammates for not supporting him like he needs? Does he need to play on a dream team to meet his full potential? Maybe he’ll blame Spoelstra for not resting him enough? Has a superstar ever used the excuse that he was tired, and expected people to just accept it? 

        As much as I think DeShawn is an idiot, I think he might just be spot-on in his analysis that Lebron just “checks out” sometimes. Is it how he handles pressure sometimes when things start to go badly? He gets overloaded and short-circuits? That would explain an awful lot. He has definitely had his moments of greatness when the pressure is on, but pressure + adversity? 

      • Anonymous

        every night? I find it weird that Dirk is not “tired” in the 4th quarter—even when he is very sick. Lebron has scored 9 total points in 5 4th quarters this series. This is well beyond being tired. This is one of the bigger disappearings acts I have ever seen and, likely, someone who doesn’t even have the mental capacity of my Atari 2600.

        • Anonymous

          come on smitty, don’t be a jerk.  LeBron has 11 points in the 5 4th quarters.  

          actove: the tired excuse is so ridiculous it does not deserve a response.  
          ________________

          but will note: Michael Jordan played 42 min/game at age 35…and still had the legs hit the game historic shot over russell.

          meanwhile, i have to hear people excusing his choke job  last year for a zillion dumb reasons (including an insane fatigue argument)….now we are hearing it again, because at age 26 he playing 38 min/game is too much?????

          give me a fucking break.  He chokes.  And now its not Mo Williams fault.  Its not Dan Gilberts.  Its not Coach Browns or Coach Spos fault.  Its his fault.  Its what he does. 

          • Anonymous

            that is my bad chucker….i stopped watching with like 30 seconds left and didn’t realize he had a late layup. that changes everything.

          • Anonymous

            BTW this guy is supposed to be one of the greatest physical specimens we have ever seen in the sport. He doesn’t look one bit tired/winded at the end of games—the only thing tired is the excuses.

          • Anonymous

            I am not trying to provide him with an excuse, he should be in better condition if that is the case and yes it is true that he brings the tumult and turmoil upon himself, but it really looked like he ran out of gas.
            It would be odd if that was the case every time he “checks out”, but last night he looked like he hit a bad patch of the frangile/bonk.
            I am not trying to be a Lebron apologist, I am extremely tired of the guy, it just looked like he should have pounded down some sugar at half time

        • Anonymous

          “mental capacity” might be a bit harsh.  “Attention span”, “Maturity”, “Coping skills”, all tough to acquire when you have a legion of “supporters” doing everything for you from age 15 on.  He needs to ditch his “posse”, start making some decisions on his own and grow up. 

          • Anonymous

            That may be true off the court, but doesn’t have any actual bearing on his performance. He just doesn’t have it. He is a bully and dominates until the pressure is on him. That is when Shrinky Dink takes over and launches long threes or plays hot potatoe with the ball. I bet he dreams of Skip Bayless every night and what he is gonna say about him. That is a mental midget in my book. The proof is ,very decidedly, in the pudding right now.

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