The Definitive Review of “Growing Up Colt” by Colt and Brad McCoy

by Cleveland Frowns on July 27, 2011

The Definitive Review of “Growing Up Colt,” an autobiographical account of Colt McCoy’s life as told by the Browns quarterback and his father Brad, has been written and posted and printed at Cleveland Scene so click here to go there to read it. But first, a few things about the book that didn’t make it into the Scene piece:

For starters, note that Colt McCoy’s dad not only has God but also the ghosts of the underworld behind him:

When I started coaching the San Saba Fighting Golden Armadillos, I learned that Rogan Field was built over what used to be a cemetery before it was converted into the high school football field in 1935. But not all the graves were removed, which meant that there were still some Civil War skeletons resting underneath the sod. . . .

[I got] an idea. I had the Ag shop build a a big wooden sign with the words WELCOME TO THE GRAVEYARD burned into the wood. . . .

Some interesting things happened during our home games. We started getting some freaky breaks. A player from the opposing team would catch a ball in the open field, have nothing but green grass ahead of him, and then suddenly trip and fall. Loose fumbles miraculously bounced our way. Holders mishandled routine snaps, causing their kickers to miss game-tying PATs, giving us the win.

These were normal things that happen in high school football games, but weird stuff happened so often that our opponents wondered if ghostly arms and hands were reaching up from their graves to help the hometown eleven. The Graveyard even gave new meaning to the football term coffin corner because it seemed like our punts always took a favorable bounce out of bounds inside the 10-yard line.

Of course, anyone from Cleveland knows that ghosts can and often do get involved in football games, and baseball and basketball games, too. But the ghosts in Texas are different from the ones in Cleveland because they only work for people who are especially “godly,” as Brad McCoy is described on the back cover of Growing Up Colt. As Brad tells it, “the wheels were [eventually] greased” for his departure at San Saba High because the school board believed he was “too tough on the kids.” Having heard that, Brad turned in his walking papers. Years after the fact, he notes:

“Back in San Saba these days, they say that the Graveyard has lost it’s aura, that there’s no home-field advantage like we had in the good old days. In those days, the Armadillos went to the playoffs, but for the past seventeen years, basketball season has started on schedule more often than not.

Which is what you get when you try to tell Brad McCoy how to treat the kids.

Other items of note:

Brad McCoy on the crowd at a Browns/Steelers game in Pittsburgh:

“Compared with what went on at a Texas-Oklahoma game, this was child’s play.”

Colt McCoy on corporal punishment:

“Mom and Dad may say I didn’t get spanked that much, and they’re probably right. But when you’re a kid, it sure doesn’t seem that way. I can remember both parents popping me on the bottom with a bare hand, Mom spanking me with a wooden spoon, or Dad spanking me with a belt. If we were outside, Dad sometimes used a switch.”

Colt on female classmates who lived in his freshman dorm at the University of Texas:

“Most everyone on campus had access to Jester Hall, and there were girls who lived on the same floor as me. (Mom wasn’t too happy when she heard about that.)

“Around 9:30 or so … I’d turn out the lights and try to fall asleep … .

“… Then the knocks on the door would start. Some of them were from random guys walking around the hallway wanting to talk football. Others came from females who didn’t want to talk about football.

“… Some of the comments were so blatantly sexual in nature that I can’t repeat them in a family book like this. … I also woke up to notes that had been slipped underneath my door from girls giving me their names and cell numbers. Some offered me services that you can’t even imagine.

“I was being tempted, but I fought off the urge to give in and call one of those numbers. I crumpled those notes and tossed them into my trash can. I told myself: Why would I want to be with any of those girls anyway? They’re probably acting like this with all the guys!

The nerve of these whores.

Thankfully, after Colt’s freshman year, head coach Mack Brown made an exception to the rule that all Texas football players live in campus dorms for their first four semesters at school, and Colt and his folks looked for a new place for him to live “in a nice neighborhood called Tarrytown, about five minutes west of the UT campus.” After spotting a house in Tarrytown with an apartment above a four-car garage, the McCoys stopped to inquire of the home’s owners, Tami Anderson and her husband Dick. The rest was history. Brad explains:

“Dick Anderson stands about 6 feet, 6 inches tall and was a great athlete, a man’s man who played college football at SMU. I never really worried about Colt anymore after he moved into Dick’s backyard.”

Of course, there are man’s men, and there are people who aren’t 6-foot-6 former SMU football players, and you know whose backyard to let your son live in if you’re going to raise a champion.

And if you’re going to raise a champion, you’re going to make sure to “prepare your children for the path, not the path for your children.” According to Brad McCoy, too many parents “[seek] to smooth life’s bumps in the road for their children” and “do not punish their children because they fear not being liked by their offspring.” McCoy explains that over his 27 years as a head high school football coach in Texas:

“I’ve dealt with hundreds of parents who’ve come into my office to sit down and talk about their sons and their participation on the football team or other teams I have coached. I can always see them subconsciously trying to prepare the path for their child. It’s like they’ve brought an imaginary pickax and shovel with them so they can break up all the big rocks and push them off the road … so their sons will have an easy time without any problems.”

If only you sniveling enablers would do what Brad McCoy did, your kids could be champions today, too. Head over to Scene for more on McCoy’s blueprint, if you’re godly enough.

And if you missed it in April, you’ll want to read about another element of the McCoy advantage: Non-transdermal holographic chips for better health.

Back tomorrow to talk about Browns free agents and who knows what else. Hope everyone has a decent go of it until then.

  • http://www.redright88.com Titus Pullo

    I’m willing to try almost anything if it means the Browns start winning again.

    And the defense can sure use more of those “manly men” types.

    I can certainly live without all the Jesus talk, but a lot of what McCoy says about parenting today is true. And my mom once broke a plate over my head and I still turned out OK (I think).

    • Anonymous

      “I’m willing to try almost anything if it means the Browns start winning again.”

      Agreed.

      “And the defense can sure use more of those “manly men” types.”

      Agreed. All the better if they have apartments over their four-car garages.

      “I can certainly live without all the Jesus talk.”

      There wasn’t a lot of Jesus talk in the book at all, and I didn’t take issue with any of it here or at Scene.

      As for what McCoy says about parenting, saying and doing are two different things is all. 

      • http://www.redright88.com Titus Pullo

        Sorry, wasn’t referring to this post re: Jesus talk. Just the McCoy philosophy in general.

    • Anonymous

      TP,  You are correct sir.

      McCoy needs to lose the constant banter about his imaginary friend and that book is an absolute joke.

      I am starting to think that The Browns may need to get a new QB.

      What is that Favre guy doing now?

      • Anonymous

        I think he’s living in my parents’ basement in GB, looking at photos of “the good old days.”

        • Anonymous

          “basement in GB”??  
          Dug right down into the permafrost?  
          Why would anyone in GB have a basement?    To save money by using it as their refrigerator?  

          • Anonymous

            It’s where all the real cheese making happens.

          • Anonymous

            I had 4 good ones for “the real cheese making”, but I chose to refrain from comment.    I should get some bonus ‘I am not a stalker’ points for that.

    • Anonymous

      TP,  You are correct sir.

      McCoy needs to lose the constant banter about his imaginary friend and that book is an absolute joke.

      I am starting to think that The Browns may need to get a new QB.

      What is that Favre guy doing now?

    • Anonymous

      ok “almost” anything but this falls outside of almost.  for sure.  this super awful bullshit filled condescending high-horsing i’m godlier than you but you’re in luck godliness is for sale drivel has to fall on the wrong side of almost, right?

      also if you want to talk about manly men let’s move on from the man who is clearly letting himself be used to peddle a book that is really a marketing tool for his dad’s “football consulting” business and talk about brian smith, the guy linebacker the brownies just acquired, who just happens to be an nd grad, and who just happens to be a super stud (which we know because his highlight video is set to saliva’s “click click boom”).

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=AS-4Jd5bKy4#at=40

      and last on the parenting thing: belts and switches are NOT ok ever (even if some kids end up ok after having been subjected to them) and hypocrisy is the worst kind of parenting ever (see, e.g., preaching about not “preparing the path” for your kids while at the same time bragging about how you got your son’s university to change its rules to accomdate his need to be
      free from the influence of impure women).

      • Believelander

        If you mean to say that a child should never be spanked ever, I disagree; but if you mean to say using an object to spank a child is unnecessary, I completely agree.

  • Believelander

    Reading stuff super-Christian people write is like an excellent Pay-Per-View.

    1st!

  • Anonymous

    Parenting and controlling are two separate entities.  Good parenting takes a little finesse and a lot of patience.

    • Anonymous

      Thankfully, it looks like our fine government is taking over the parenting from here.  Whew!!!

      • Anonymous

        No way with the Tea Party flyers OMFG. Sorry. What’s wrong with having public schools serve healthy food, anyway?

        • Anonymous

          Oh come on, I want to see it.

          • Anonymous

            OK fine I crawled into the vortex to find it. Enjoy.

          • Anonymous

            You have to admit it’s funny.  And Mickey D’s is not the public school system.

          • Anonymous

            It would be funnier if :

            1. I didn’t actually slightly prefer the meal depicted there than regular McBarfy sugar-food.
            2. The first lady did anything other than gently suggest people eat healthier and quit being a country of lazy, fat, HFCS-sucking child-stuffers.
            3. The Soros puppet further controlled an Obama puppet (apologies if he is, I can’t tell at that resolution. That would be kind of inventive.)
            4. The teahadists– who used to be kind of cute in a grumpy old man way– weren’t about to disingenuously ?*#! with our money out of impotent rage at modernity.
            5. The Russian flag depicted there weren’t actually associated with a higher credit rating and lower obesity than the U.S. is about to enjoy.
            6. There weren’t actual special tax carve-outs designed specifically for corporate jets, bought and paid for by lobbyists, and staunchly defended by wingnuts.

            I could go on, but I already realize that Frowns probably shouldn’t have shown me this.

          • Anonymous

              I think she should go after alcohol and cigarettes next, even though everyone knows Happy Meals are far more dangerous.  And far less taxable.

          • Anonymous

            Many happy “like’s” and then some!
            Bupa for Emperor!
            Shall we trade our oligarchy for a benevolent dictator?  
            I want to be your campaign manager.

          • Anonymous

            If I were a “lazy, fat, HFCS-sucking child-stuffer” I’d be offended by the divine Mrs. O.

          • Anonymous

            unbelievable.  really.  

        • Anonymous

          Speaking of healthy food, I’m right now eating a piece of  grilled veggie pizza from Whole Foods…buy one get one yesterday.  Good stuff.

          • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

            According to this article, you just bought some of Sysco’s finest prepared food!

            http://gawker.com/5824867/the-whole-foods-experience-part-one

          • Anonymous

            I suppose the next thing you’re going to tell me is there’s no Santa Claus. 

            BTW, if you saw what I ate growing up…my insides are impervious.

          • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

            You’re talking to someone who, by no choice of his own, ate some of the nastiest things ever invented.  I’m convinced Asians make up some of this stuff purely for schadenfreude as they watch non-asians try to stuff it down their gullets.

            Dried, uncured squid or cuttlefish, anyone?

          • Anonymous

            Send that to Pete, he’s famished.

            Actually, I’m talking about my mom’s clever ways to feed 4 kids on my dad’s minimum wage.  Expiration dates?  Bah.  Dented cans?  We’ll take a case.  We went to the local orchard and picked UP apples… Did you know the ones on the ground are called “windfall” and cost next to nothing?

          • Anonymous

            Aha! So, that’s where the oil company windfall profits come from. I always wondered. How many bushels do have to sell to make gajillion dollars? I bet it’s a bunch.

          • Anonymous

            I have no idea.  I’m just a girl (ok, taking some liberties with that word) that grew up in a family that lived within it’s means.  I  know very little about politics, it was never mentioned when I was young.  There was always a picture hanging in the living room of  (1) Vince Lombardi (2) The Pope and (3) JFK or whoever was the president at the time.

            I don’t believe most of what I read or what is on the screen, but I do believe a good bit of what my eyes have seen over the years. 

            I don’t understand why profit is such a dirty word.  I have worked in some capacity since I was 10, and I’m quite sure I have never earned a paycheck from an employer that was poor or bankrupt. 

            I know that God gave me 2 kids that are assets to this world rather than liabilities.  They take food to the homeless and travel to shit-holes in Mexico and New Orleans on their spring breaks because they get how fortunate they are and what being a decent person is. 

            It makes me sad that seemingly educated people can show such disdain for a family that apparently works hard every day to do what what they believe is right and positive, just because it may result in some monetary reward as well.  Who’s to say what the McCoy’s do with their money? 

            I’d love to meet the reader here that works for free.  Or doesn’t accept a pay increase.  Or would turn down a winning lotto jackpot.

          • Anonymous

            CLTIL  
            [“I don’t believe most of what I read or what is on the screen, but I do believe a good bit of what my eyes have seen over the years.”]  
            “Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you read.”  
            Ben Franklin
            “Don’t believe anything you read and only half of what you see.”
            My own bastardized version

          • Anonymous

            Wow, I thought it was Marvin Gaye.  You must be waaaaaaaaaay older than me, boy.

          • Anonymous

            CLTIL,  
            You are slipping a bit today, there was a there was a sparkling opportunity to flash your wit, e. g. me as a contemporary of Mr Franklin.   
            Which could have led to both a rude gay slur and vilifying my political knowledge/viewpoint.   
            Granted it may have been too easy, but you just stood there with your bat on your shoulder and watched that hanging curve.

          • Anonymous

            Oh Fukodome off!

            I’m a little tired today from yesterday’s melee. 

            I’ll be there for you next time, promise!

          • Anonymous

            Profiting off of hypocrisy and bad ideas is what’s disdainful, not profit itself.

          • Anonymous

            That doesn’t leave too many in the worthy of respect category, now does it?

          • Anonymous

            I got a commendation from the state bar (NOT Ohio), 2 years in a row, for doing pro bono legal work.

            So there.  And I don’t own pictures of the Pope.

          • Anonymous

            That is wonderful Rgrunds.  I hope you keep on doing that as long as you are able.  We all need to help those who can’t help themselves if we are in a position to do so. 

            My beef is with our government perpetuating masses of people that don’t have any incentive to take responsibility for themselves.  They need to stick to protecting and defending our country and maintaining our infrastructure so we can all do what we do. 

            I don’t mean to sound like I’m bragging about how great my kids are, but, like yourself, they get that it’s our job to take care of our fellow citizens if we can.  We all know the American people are the most charitable on the globe, and maybe if they would let us do our thing and stop robbing us blind, we’d do so much more.  I know I would.

          • Anonymous

            Hey PML, did you watch the Top Chef All-Stars toward the end when they were in Thailand?  

          • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

            does a bear poop in the woods and wipe his butt with a rabbit? 

          • Anonymous

            Dried cuttlefish is awesome while drinking or at the movies.  You just need a little go-chu jang (red pepper paste) to dip it in and you’ve got yourself a great snack.  Bone-day-gi (silkworm larvae) isn’t bad either.  Just make sure to get the fresh stuff from street vendors instead of the canned.

          • Anonymous

            I’m famished.

          • Anonymous

            PML, 
            I lived half a block from the original Whole Foods and I would do all of my grocery shopping when I happened to be out in the suburbs at real all American  grocery stores.
            That place had over priced food, limited selection and a corporate culture that started out all about saving the planet by not showering, the store stank of B. O. and Patchouli, however  the place has gone a bit upscale since then and the corporate culture is frighteningly Orwellian.
            Everyone must think like healthy Big Brother.
            That place still scares me.

          • Anonymous

            Well it appears that Big Brother is better at business than a team of unshowered hippies.

            http://news.yahoo.com/whole-foods-boosts-2011-view-shares-003344223.html

          • Anonymous

            McB,  
            Should that be a startling revelation?   Big Brother wants to control with power and money, the dirty hippies want to go home early, 4:20pm and enjoy their THC fueled haze.  Some of them are still hanging on, but they are helpless Dodo birds in the corporate culture, despite their seniority and a hazy recollection of the formative years and the plan to save the planet.

          • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

            “and I would do all of my grocery shopping when I happened to be out in the suburbs at real all American  grocery stores.

            Amen, sir.

            Try this on for size.

            Read this:
            http://gawker.com/5824287/read-a-disgruntled-whole-foods-employees-epic-resignation-letter

            Then this:
            http://gawker.com/5824867/the-whole-foods-experience-part-one

          • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

            Agree with you and Chris about this – Whole Foods gives me the heebie jeebies.  Howeva, I am a complete hypocrite when it comes to Trader Joe’s.  The place is cheap and the food is great.  Also, at least in the one I frequent, the workers actually enjoy being there (so they claimed when I asked them).

          • Anonymous

            I’m famished.

          • Anonymous

            Don’t you eat?  You are always hungry! 

          • Anonymous

            I know. It’s one of those things.

          • Believelander

            He has a high metabolicsism. It comes from all of his brain power, requires high amperage food to sustain that much continuous thought.

          • Anonymous

            Ah, one of THOSE things.  

        • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

          Thank you.

    • Anonymous

      Granted but I’d quantify “a little” as 4 billion heaps, “a lot” as 16 trillion zillion tons, and you need a couple bottles of gin in there as well.

      • Anonymous

        Take it from me, wine works too!

        • Anonymous

          Rookie.

          • Anonymous

            It’s called pacing yourself, bupa.  It’s a marathon, not a sprint.  I do enjoy a nice G and T now and then.

          • Anonymous

            It’s called pacing yourself, bupa.  It’s a marathon, not a sprint.  I do enjoy a nice G and T now and then.

  • Anonymous

    Frownie, it’s a slippery slope when you mess with Jesus, i mean Texas..  

    obviously you and many others (myself included) were not the target demographic when the publishers decided to print and distribute this book..  seems to me it is geared towards folks in the religious right as well as Texas Longhorn fans (mostly the same i suppose)..   the guy is a hero down there and i’m sure there are many fine folks there who appreciate this sort of content.  

    just like most of people of all religions, he’s just a squirrel tryin to get a nut..

    • Anonymous

      this book has NOTHING to do with religion and EVERYTHING to do with shameless promotion of a football consulting business. 

      • Anonymous

        i haven’t read the book, but every blurb i’ve seen about it mentions Jesus or “faith”..  not to mention the publisher only publishes Christian books..   so while i’m sure the shameless promotion of football consulting is certainly one of the things this book is about, i find it hard to believe a Christian publisher would greenlight a book that “has NOTHING to do with religion”

      • Anonymous

        Sorry, in West Texas it there is no way to distinguish between any of the things you just mentioned– religion, football, and consulting businesses. 

        And shamelessness, for that matter.

    • Anonymous

      ” religious right as well as Texas Longhorn fans (mostly the same i suppose)..”

      Biki, those are fighting words.    Austin is still a liberal enclave in right wing mania.

      • Anonymous

        Rick Perry is their governor.. need i say more?

        • Anonymous

          He’s not Austin’s governor. It’s safe to say that while even most of the Texas regulars dislike that guy, Austin pretty much hates him.

          • Anonymous

            I’m sure Bourbon Books will probably publish Rick Perry’s account of his 2 week run for the presidency..  

          • Anonymous

            Thank you bupa.

        • Anonymous

          “Rick Perry is their governor.. need i say more?”
          Biki,You are even more annoying when you are correct.

          • Anonymous

            aww, you folks down in austin are too kind

  • Jim

    I take issue with Colt’s decision-making.  College women are knocking at his door and offering services “you can’t even imagine” and he turned them down?  Epic fail.

    • Anonymous

      aw jim.  that wasn’t colt deciding.  it was  his daddy – he swooped in and saved him.  thank god for daddy! 

      oh and yay guess what daddy can save us too!  for very reasonable fee.

    • http://twitter.com/byRiverBurns River Burns

      Look, my moral compass is all over the map, but groupie love doesn’t do it for me either.  You don’t have to be a bible thumper, and Frowns even said the book doesn’t carry that message too far, to appreciate someone who can resist temptation.  Maybe none of us care about a $3 bottle of water getting k’niffed from five star hotel (especially when the savings is apparently going towards education), but I wouldn’t mind seeing a few “goodie two shoes” in this organization, even if I’m more Donte than Colt on a moral level.

      • Anonymous

        Don’t disagree with any of this at all.

      • http://brian23.com Brian

        I don’t believe for .00001 seconds that Colt turned groupies away. Didn’t you guys see Blue Library or whatever that movie with Dawson’s Creek was.

    • http://www.redright88.com Titus Pullo

      You know Ben Rothlisberger would have been all over that opportunity!

      • Anonymous

        He just got married.  That’s good, all the fight will be out of him!

    • Anonymous

      The women at UT, especially Jester dorm were frequently offering special favors, but I could easily imagine them.
      I was under the assumption that it was a normal aspect of college life.

      Is The U of Tejas different from every other school?

      He is lucky that he was way across campus from the Law School women, they had even better imaginations.

      • Anonymous

        >>>The women at UT, especially Jester dorm were frequently offering special favors, but I could easily imagine them.>>>

        Yeah, when I read that I all I thought is he must have a profound lack of imagination.

    • eldaveablo

      Maybe there were  some offers that were spanking related, and he just couldn’t handle that? 

      • Anonymous

        MYSTERY SOLVED. Brilliant.

      • Anonymous

        Bravo el dave!

      • eldaveablo

        Thanks gentlemen. Sometimes the answers are right there in front of your face, you just have to be perverted enough to see them. 

  • http://wheretobuypropecia.socialgo.com/magazine/read/sale-propecia_4.html Foux1952

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  • http://twitter.com/byRiverBurns River Burns

    McCoy:”I mean, how many times have you gotten laid strictly because you’re
    a football player?”
    Shipley:”I don’t know. A few, probably.”
    McCoy:”Jordan, all I’m saying is I bet we could
    do just as well if we were in a band or something.” 

    • Anonymous

      River Burns,
      No way, there are too many bands in Austin.
      Bob Schneider is the only musician getting as much imaginative offers as UT sports guys.
      BTW, baseball guys get even more attention.

    • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

      Shipley’s the lead singer.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiwR6A32gfw

  • Vari

    Yeah, I’m sure good ole Colt never answered the door once!  Just tossed those numbers and letters on the pile of Kleenex and empty lotion bottles in the trash.  I especially like the comparison of the Browns/ Steelers and Texas/ Oklahoma game.  Apparently Brad wasn’t around in the 70’s and 80’s when Sheriffs Deputies were dragging people out of the stadiums for causing near riots, this of course before Football became “family entertainment”.   Hopefully Colt “the Preacher” McCoy can win some football games or else he becomes the next in line of Browns QB failures over the last decade. 

  • Anonymous

    It’s truly fascinating to me how differently we all react to things.  At this point in history, we all have the freedom to be the seller or the buyer of this book.  What a great thing that is.  It’s not like it’s required reading in the public schools, for goodness sake.

    Plus, a little self-control on Colt’s part is pretty admirable.  I guess we know how he won all those games at Texas – 1 part talent, 2 parts prayer, and 7 parts really really wanting to score!!!!

    • Anonymous

      i guess i’d be more impressed re: self-control if colt showed he could handle himself in the dorms/on campus.  he ran away instead.  at best – at best! – that shows self-awareness (as in – i know i can’t control myself but i don’t want to do this so i’ll remove myself from the situation). 

      i actually think it shows neither self-control nor self-awareness – it shows he’s still scared sh*tless of his dad’s switch (and belt buckle!) and therefore did exactly what his dad wanted him to do – but that’s just me.

      • Anonymous

        But really, where do any of us get our sense of what’s acceptable behavior and what is not acceptable?  From our parents, or whoever raises us. 

        I personally think you can get your point across to your child without physical pain, but there is something to be said for respect.  I don’t know if you’ve looked around lately, but a helluva lot of kids these days have zero boundaries. 

      • http://brian23.com Brian

        Am I the only one who just assumes Colt isn’t telling the truth and he got lots of booty babes and didn’t tell his dad. Is he a rookie this year I don’t follow football.

    • Anonymous

      CLTIL,
      Good  one, do not stop, you are on a roll.

      • Anonymous

        Don’t encourage me, I’ll get in trouble again.

    • Anonymous

      Frownie still wants Jake Delhomme to be the QB.. 

      • Anonymous

        Jake at QB with Bill Nelson as backup.

      • Anonymous

        The winningest Browns quarterback in 2010.

        • Anonymous

          Bye Jake, thanks for playing!  So who’s gonna be our #3?  

    • Believelander

      Obviously, he didn’t want to score -that- bad or he wouldn’t have kept tossing all those phone numbers.

  • Anonymous

    You missed at least one of these – !!!!!!

    >>“Around 9:30 or so … I’d turn out the lights and try to fall asleep >>

    Hopefully Colt will one day grow up to be a full sized horsey and trot around on his own. I kinda worry that this fully licensed and merchandized West Texas version of Leave it to Beaver really can’t go anywhere until the psychological brush is cleared and Big Daddy fades into the background. 

    These signs aren’t great. But the bottom line is I’ve liked Colt (Seaver?) McCoy’s play, and don’t think he should be the Fall Guy for his father’s dopey, Texas-sized hypocrisy and magical thinking. 

    • Anonymous

      if he wasn’t up for being fall guy, he shouldn’t have agreed to do the book. 

      and if he’s not trotting around on his own now, which he’s clearly not, then i’m more than “kinda” worried.

      • Anonymous

        >>if he wasn’t up for being fall guy, he shouldn’t have agreed to do the book. <<
        Well he shouldn't have agreed to let himself be named after a Lee Majors character either. But there are sons and fathers, and in West Texas, sometimes that extends out a bit further than you would think.

        BTW Colt McCoy's Dad (because I'm not learning your name), what's wrong with "Steve Austin?" Too liberal sounding?

      • Anonymous

        Please. He’s a football player. Star players typically don’t have to start thinking on their own until after they leave the game. I don’t think Colt is much different than most high profile players. Boys in men’s bodies. So, I’m not wasting energy worrying about him. It’s pretty simple – if he wins, great and his dad is a genius. If he loses, then is something wrong with the Browns organization and the city of Cleveland. Simple!

  • Serpent1018

    As someone that’s moral compass leans more to the left i would rather have Colt as my qb and read the occasional bible quote then have to read about my qp down in Georgia raping random college girls.

    • Anonymous

      Man, you are so uncool.

    • Anonymous

      to be clear: there’s nothing wrong with bible quotes.  what’s objectionable about this book has to do with it being a piece of shameless self promotion for colt’s dad, and what’s objectionable about colt (aside from the fact that he’s just not that good a quarterback)  is his allowing his dad to use him in this way.  gross.

      but clearly – *clearly* – not nearly as gross as what big ben did.  not nearly.

      • Anonymous

        Would you rather he start his own marketing company and staff it with his buddies from high school?

    • Anonymous

      Right Serp,
      People who quote the bible never do anything wrong.  
      Would you like some Kool-aid?

  • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

    We’ve seen two extremes in the parenting spectrum in these here parts recently. 

    One extreme formed a worldview that led to one of the most recognizable athletes in the world holding a press conference on primetime national TV to kick his hometown in the nuts with full knowledge of the unprecedented string of hard times in both the real and sporting worlds, make a fool out of an owner and a city that catered to his every whim and demand and paid him millions to boot and take the perceived easier way out – all the while refusing to even offer up anything besides a “I don’t second guess myself or can’t dwell in the past” excuse for his behavior.

    The other “extreme” – I’m not even going to say it’s extreme because Colt still appears to like his dad, has led to a QB who is doing all he can to endear himself to his new hometown and teammates, trying to do the right thing (in his eyes, whether or not you agree with it is irrelevant), and helping himself and his dad make a buck off of their philosophy on life.  If people are buying what he’s selling, why not?

    I’ll take the latter.  Of Course, this is all contingent on him not sucking out loud next year – I reserve the right to tell him to go back to West Texas and live off of Flippy Flippingstock and his legacy if he can’t get it done.

    • Anonymous

      Boy do I miss the real Browns/Stillers rivalry days of old. The days where parking at the old stadium with Pennsylania plates came with an unwritten, implied, and fully understood “at your own risk” agreement. In fairness to the REAL Pittsburgh fans, not the front-running wannabes that have defected in these parts, they miss it too. Hopefully, we can start winning some games and bring some validity back to the rivalry.

      Remember the definition of insanity – doing things the same way and expecting different results. Well, we’ve made some changes and I think anything different from the past 15 years HAS to be better. How could it get worse?

      • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

        I can agree with these sentiments.  I actually had an overall friendly reception back in the 90’s when I went with my buddies to a Satan/Ravens game at 3 Rivers with a couple of my college teammates.  A few of  us wore our Browns gear and booed both teams the entire time.  Most of the people around us thought it was hilarious and gave us props.

        • Anonymous

          PML,   
          [“A few of  us wore our Browns gear and booed both teams the entire time.  Most of the people around us thought it was hilarious and gave us props.”]  
          Absolutely love this PML!    Pure genius, I love those games when you are racking your brain all the time trying to figure out a way for both teams to lose.

          “PML, you are a madman! When you stole that cow…and your friend tried to make it with the cow….I wanna party with you, cowboy!”

          • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

            Iit was a good thing we didn’t have a team.  Some of my bestest friends are Satan fans and we are all in agreement this would have never happened if the rivalry was alive at the time.  To all of their credit, none of them live anywhere near the little slice of hell and will never, ever go back.

    • Anonymous

      Notwithstanding a few speed bumps, Growing Up Colt is bringing out the best in everybody here today.

      • Anonymous

        Whatever you do, don’t try and smooth over the speed bumps, otherwise we might not grow up to play pro-football…or publish a book about raising kids who play pro-football.

        • Anonymous

           Nice.

    • Anonymous

      Also agreed that “any dad and mom” generally turns out better than “no dad and homeless crack-addicted mom.”

      • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

        You leave Colt’s mom out of this!  Mrs McCoy is a saint!

        • Anonymous

          Which Mrs. McCoy?

          • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

            Dorothy Mantooth

          • Anonymous

            Anybody that spawns Vince Vaughn is a saint in my book.

    • Anonymous

      Well said, PIFML.  One thing I think we all know is that Colt most assuredly will not disengage when his team and their city need him the most.  His outer fortress may not be as impressive, but I believe we’ll see that his real strength is deep inside, where it really counts.

       I look forward to seeing Frownie waving a pen and his well-worn copy of “Growing Up Colt” at the McCoys after a playoff win in the near future.

    • Anonymous

      Can I move up and be cited as the first one to “like” this post? I really need to see my photo posted a lot and only the first “liker” gets his logo on.

      Is there some administrative procedure? Can I appeal to the FrOrange Master?

  • Anonymous

    tribe now has lost 17 games in a row when hannahan does not play.  this should be a bigger deal.

    http://espn.go.com/mlb/player/gamelog/_/id/28468/jack-hannahan

    • Anonymous

      Wow.  He does have sparkling defensive skills.

    • Anonymous

      we’ve scored 11 runs in last 7 games.. not sure if Jack could’ve helped us there..  

      • Believelander

        Enemies have scored -11 runs in the last 7 games in which Supermanahan played.

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  • Titus Pullo

    Saw that Braylon Edwards was sentenced to a year of active probation and 100 hours of community service during a violation of probation hearing stemming from an incident outside an area nightclub in 2009.

    I think at least half of that community service should be spent in the Cleveland Frowns intern program.

    Imagine the gold mine of stories that would come out of those staff meetings.

    • Anonymous

      Didn’t he punch one of LeBron’s s s0-called friends in that incident?  

      • Titus Pullo

        Yeah, back then LeBron still had pull in this town and was able to get Edwards shipped out because of it – or so the rumors went.

        • Anonymous

          Just another reason Cleveland is on Braylon’s s**t list.  Boy oh boy.

  • http://twitter.com/Dennymayo Denny

    Is there a chapter related to Goobers if so pls summarize Pete thx

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  • Anonymous

    FrOrange……I don’t know about this guy. Kinda Bible Beltie.  I’m Jewish and just don’t trust anyone if you can see their nostrils. His are really prominent. I mean, I can see half way up his sinuses.

    Colt sez….”Thank God my Dad beat me”.

    Maybe it’s just a racial thing.

    Actually, I think he’s a good quarterback.

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  • http://twitter.com/mjh4259 Mary

    Frowns, you are gonna be so surprised–as was I–when this Opie kid starts winning games.  I actually did not like him at UT…kept chalking it up to luck…but, damn, he wins.  Now I have given up all resistance and accepted him as the next great Browns player.  The much-touted Bradford and OU never beat him.  Should be a great game between the Browns-Rams this year. Enjoy it for what it is…a game!  Oh, and if you ever get the chance, visit west Texas.  There is something magical there.

    • Anonymous

      Mary.  You’re wrong. W. Texas is not magical. It’s mind-stupid hot and the best thing you can say about El Paso is that it’s not Juarez.

      Colt’s a good QB.

    • Anonymous

      From your mouth to god’s ears, Mary. But you know any of a number of QBs might have won just as much in those four years at Texas. Also, are you a Cleveland fan or do you just follow the team because of Colt? There’s an impossibly small margin of error for someone in Colt’s position here, you know.

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    I’m a Browns and a Buckeye fan since forever.  But I’ve lived in Texas for the past several years.  I rooted against Colt and Mack Brown for 4 years.  And I am only supporting Colt now because he’s on my team!  I don’t like Mack Brown because of how he treated Major Applewhite, and I didn’t like Colt because, like you, I thought he was only winning because he was surrounded by one of the best Longhorn teams ever.  Believe me, I have my doubts that he will survive in the AFC North.  But I was impressed with how he stood in there against Pittsburg and didn’t fold.  And let’s face it, there is something about Ohio and Texas that produces both weirdness and the best, so something tells me this kid may turn out to be good.  Oh, and I didn’t think Vince Young was all that great either ;-)  Love your site!

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  • Anonymous

    I live in San Saba, Tx. and feel compelled to set the record straight after reading the article promoting Brad McCoy.  First of all, the “Graveyard” hoopala started way before Brad rode into town. I graduated high school here in 1967 and that fact was discussed at length many many times. We tried to use it as an advantage when anything unusual happened. Second, Brad did not leave here because he was to tough on the kids. Brad may have developed into a good coach after he left here, but his best days here was as an assistant. A good example of his head coaching prowess is the following: We are leading 13-6 with three minutes remaining. If we win, we win district. If we lose, we are finished for the year. We have the ball on our own 30 with fourth and about three. He calls a fake punt which does not work. Our opponent marches 30 yards, scores, makes the extra point, final 14-13. We start basketball. I remember this all too well because my youngest son was a senior on that team. Brad has always used religion as a tool for advancement. When he lived here, there were rumors galore about  Brad and one of our cheerleaders. I can’t verify that to be factual other than the rumor still exists to this day. His younger brother left here amid the same type rumors. That might suit some folks as O.K. as long as your not late for church but I for one am not one of them. The Holier than Thou front needs to go. I hope Colt goes on to become a great quarterback in the NFL. But please give credit where credit is due. Colt is the one that has molded into a good player not Brad.      

  • Anonymous

    Good to see Jester Dorm has not changed in the twenty two years since I lived there.   I can’t agree more about the hypocrisy in Brad McCoy’s writing.  Is it true that any one of a number of QBs could have been just as good in the Texas Longhorns offense?  I suppose, but I won’t discredit the kid because he did find success.   Colt McCoy was a scrawny, three-star recruit who was dismissed time and again at Texas for what he was not.   He has a habit of proving nay-sayers wrong.   He certainly has an “it” factor.

    Will he be a great NFL QB?  I don’t know.  I don’t THINK so but the question then becomes how good does he have to be to make the third round pick worthwhile?

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