Week 15 of the Cheddar Bay Reality Football Pickstravaganza is LIVE

by Cleveland Frowns on December 16, 2011

It’s week 15 and the world’s first, only and most decorated football picking competition with a weekly writing requirement has received the greatest of honours.

Look at this email we got yesterday:

Hi Peter,

So I see that our Cheddar Bay Biscuits have given you, or more so your fantasy [REALITY] football league, some inspiration! I love the name! My name is Kristen Johnson and I work for Edelman Public Relations on behalf of Red Lobster. After seeing your blog [website], I wanted to share some local Red Lobster news with you. I’d love to invite you in to see what’s new at the Cleveland-area restaurants.

First, Red Lobster has a redesigned look, inspired by the New England coast to give guests the feeling of dining by the seaside:

[All of these great things about the look and feel of Red Lobster. It's like I'm in my own seaside cottage on Cape Cod and I'm there right now and somebody's cooking something delicious this is great HEY free biscuits! ]

In addition, Red Lobster’s menu provides guests with even more affordable, great tasting options such as:

[A lot of options here, guys. OMG I'm famished. Do they bake mashed-up hungry pills into these biscuits or what?]

If you’re interested, I’d like to offer you a $40 gift card for you and a guest to experience all that’s new firsthand at a local Red Lobster. Please let me know if you would be interested and I can send more information.

Thank you for your time and for your Cheddar Bay Biscuit support!

Best,

Kristen Johnson
For Red Lobster

!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1@!!!!!!!

I mean, it’s just like the old saying goes: If you really want a job, just show up and start working at it. Eventually they’ll notice and start paying you.

And/or just two respective phenomenal entities doing their respective phenomenal things. As organic and mutually beneficial as an organic mutually beneficial relationship gets.

Thoughts in the comments on how we should divvy this up.

Bowl games start tomorrow including Double MACtion. You’ve got to pick at least one of tomorrow’s college games this week. Alright. We’ll be back tomorrow and over the weekend with the official Frowns picks unless something crazy happens. Glad everyone’s weekend is off to such a phenomenal start.

  • Anonymous

    amazing

  • Dood

    WHUT!? A turn of events that was, no doubt, cosmically accelerated by all that Red Lobster chatter around these parts last week. Forget divvying up a gift card. I think it’s time to talk to Edelman about brand sponsorship for the Cheddar playoffs and sweetening pot/biscuit basket.

    • Anonymous

      If only the whole gang could have been there for that chatter. Man. One day there will be no drug war and we’ll have world peace and all be rich and this will happen.

      We’re going to take things slowly with Edelman of course but I like where you’re aiming here.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    housekeeping: ive got Gavin, RiverBurns and Chris_P’s picks booked. GRR and zara won with the falcons last night.. bup did not.

    still no line available on bills/fins, steelers/niners. will update scoreboard when we get one.

    most important, the weekly winner last week was actovegin1armstrong! congrats, well deserved!

    • actovegin1armstrong

      I have been traveling and AWOL for two weeks. Other than the occasional dum comment, I have been missing the action here.
      I took almost no time at all for those picks and I was 3 sheets to the wind at the time. I may try that more often.
      Thank you again for all of your labors jk.

      • Anonymous

        Yay Acto!

        Embrace the “think less, drink faster” approach. It has my enthusiastic endorsement.

        • actovegin1armstrong

          Thank you very much CLTIL,
          As I say on almost a daily basis at my chosen vocation when I have my small successes.
          “Even a blind dog finds a bone once in a while.”
          How did I win with a 6.5?
          Red Lobster must have taken The Lobsterfest off the menu for a week.
          You are only one point out, please use your super powers to win this thing.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    i guess the ivana humpalot role pretty much killed kristen johnson’s acting career. good to see she landed on her feet.

    • Anonymous

      DID SHE EVER.

  • The Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs

    Nice work! Personally, I think you should ask Mike Holmgren if he’d like to go out to dinner with you. If he says no, ask Pat.

  • Anonymous

    I’m going to unselfishly suggest that it be given to whoever ends up in last place. I mean, that’s the only fair thing really, when you think about it some. Really. I mean, you don’t want to think TOO much about it. You need to kind of not think too much about it and kind of do it faster, that kind of thing. Think less, hand out prizes faster. But it’s certainly fair and progressive. That’s certain.

    • Anonymous

      I smell you here homey, believe me I do, but my concern is that that posterity/humanity might benefit more from The Prohibitive Favorite making the trip then making a phenomenal column about it. I mean, that is my main concern.

      • Anonymous

        There’s also just: “Five Lobsteritas, please. Blue.” /slams down gift card

        There are a lot of different ways we could go with this.

    • http://twitter.com/byRiverBurns River Burns

      How about last place gets it, but…

      it’s just to help him pay the tab at an undisclosed R-Lob location, specifically revealed the morning of on this site for a post Cheddar Bay Banquet? Being a rookie to this whole extravaganza, you guys may do something similar to that anyway, I don’t know.

      Just a suggestion.

    • Anonymous

      Isn’t it just as hard to finish last as it is to be first? What are the odds? It’s kind of an accomplishment if you ask me.

  • kjn

    Any doubts I may have had about the power of this site have officially been put to rest.

    • Anonymous

      By far the best testimonial we’ve ever gotten. I’d put it right at the top if not for fear of throwing new readers off. It’s hard enough for some folks to get a handle on things here without us creating the impression that this is a foodie site.

  • Anonymous

    She’s hitting on you. Just go with it.

    Don’t you wonder how she found out about the site?

    • actovegin1armstrong

      There shall be none of that talk around here young lady, this is all about sports.
      COOL IT!

      • Anonymous

        She’s just giving useful advice, Acto. That is always welcome.

        COOL IT! is only for when folks start turning this place into the Luv Pub.

        Does this make sense?

        (Also does anyone remember the Luv Pubs? Who remembers? I hope somebody does.)

        (Also I just emailed Kristen back. I hope she likes it!)

      • Anonymous

        Big like re “young lady.” Big.

        • Anonymous

          everything is relative.

  • The Cuuuuuuuuuuuuugs

    Well, it’s official, the dream has died. With three weeks left and a double digit rise in rankings improbable, I’m throwing in the wet nap. Looks like my playoff ship just isn’t going to be pulling into the Cheddar Bay harbor this season.

    Speaking of harbors and throwing things, today is the 238th anniversary of the Boston Tea Party. Seeing how I’ve given up on the season, I’ve enlisted someone who is in a much more festive mood than I to make my selections: my old college friend C-Hayes from Waltham, Massachusetts.

    C-Hayes: Ahhhhh, Cahhhhhhhhhgs, looks like yo-ah wicked despahhhndent. Tahhhf luck theah pal. And not tah thr-ah salt in the wahnd, but yo-ah Browns ah HAHHHHABLE this yeah!

    (Throws back two shots of Crown)

    Ha, yo-ah trainahs cahn’t evahn diagnahse a concussahn! That Hahhisahn put a wicked hahd hit on yo-ah quahtahback, cahld-cahcks him, and yo-ah rookie cahch, Shahmah, puts back in! Ha, the kid cahdn’t evahn thrah a accahate pass whahn he knew whah he was!

    (Door flies open)

    Brad McCoy: Is someone talking bad about my boy?

    C-Hayes: Who ahh you?

    Brad McCoy: I’m Colt’s father, how do you not know who I am? I single-handedly raised that rugged young gun-slinger you’re talking crap about, and I don’t have to take it.

    C-Hayes: Ha, yah mean that nahhdle-ahhmed quahtahbahck! Yah know why they call this stuff Cahlt 45? (Pulls out 40 of Colt 45) Becahse that’s what his Quahtahbahck Rahting usahhly is! (Downs whole bottle in one sip)

    Brad McCoy (Angrily Stammers): Why I ought to…

    (Door flies open)

    Mike Holgren: Brad! Are you talking negative about the Browns again?

    C-Hayes: Ahhh my gawhd! It’s the Wahh-rus!

    Mike Holmgren: The Walrus?

    C-Hayes: Yeah! Craig Stahdlah! (Drinks bathtub gin from Tupperware container)

    Mike Holmgren: I am most certainly not Craig Stadler! I might drive around in a golf cart all day, but I’m running the show in Cleveland now.

    C-Hayes: HA! Yo-ah show is a three-rahng circahs! Yah team looks mah like the beahhded ladies than a prahfessahnal football team!

    Brad McCoy: He’s right Mike. This team is a clown show. And your hand-picked coach has no clue how to develop my fantastic son…

    Mike Holmgren: Ha, your fantastic son! You mean that pampered spoiled brat who never had to face adversity in his life? Gosh, if only I had done my homework before I made Heckert take him… I mean, he looked smart coming out of college.

    C-Hayes: Ha, yeah, wicked smaht! (Pounds case of Pabst’s) Maybe whahn he was goahng against the Univahsahty of Texahs Sahn Ahntahniah!

    Mike Holmgren: What the hell did he jut say?

    Brad McCoy: Beats me. He’s from Massachusetts.

    Mike Holmgren: Well, the point is we’re stuck here now. I mean, I’ve hitched my wagon to your kid. I can’t waste another high draft pick on a quarterback. And with the holes we have and the anger among the fans, things could go downhill fast. Even the media has turned against me and is starting to question my motives. Question me! Can you believe it?

    C-Hayes: You weah a wicked lucky cahch in Green Bay with thahse Packah teams and nevah cahld build a winnah in Seattle with thaht sissy divisahn! (Chugs Sam Adams) Thahse no way you cahld have sahvived in ow-ah GLAHRIAHS New England! Look at Sahhprahhno down in Miami. Had a cahhple good seasahhns, evahn inventahd a wahle new ahhfense. Cahldn’t keep his jahb safe frahm the wahhhping ow-ah great Belichick gahve him. (Pulls out framed, autographed picture of Belichick holding Vince Lombardi trophy and kisses it)

    Brad McCoy: Well, C-Hayes, I agree with you more than I thought. You see, as a coach myself…

    C-Hayes: DRAHHGGING YO-AH SON FROM SCHAHHL TO SCHAHHL AHH OVAH TEXAS DAHHSN’T MAKE YAH AHH CAHHCH YAH POSAH!!!

    Mike Holgren: Well, C-Hayes, as I’ve said recently, you’re either with us or against us. Sounds like you are against both of us…

    C-Hayes: Ahf cahse I am! I root fah winnahs! Not excuse-makahs, quittahs, big mouth talkahs who never prahduce AHNYTHANG!!!

    Brad McCoy: C’mon Mike, let’s leave him. Maybe we can find a spot in the CFL and go claim a title together there.

    Mike Holmgren: No will question me there. I have N-FL coaching experience!

    (Both leave)

    C-Hayes: Cahpah ahf wicked pissahs thah. Geez, Cahhhhhhhhgs, I feel slightlah sahhrahh fah yah with them leading thah chahge. Ah well, cahld be wahse, you cahld still have Dahg Pahnd Mahke… That being sahd, I wahn’t pick ahgahnst yo-ah Browns this week.

    Anywah, herah Cahhhhhhhhhgs’ picks fah thah week:

    Packahs (-14) ovah Chiefs: Ahhhhhahhhhn Rodgahhhh’s ahhs it out!
    Titahns (-6.5) ovah Colts: Ahhh and sixteen! Peyton still isn’t ahs good ahs ow-ah saviah, TOM BRADY!
    Bengahls (-6.5) ovah Rahms: Mahhhvin’s stahhvin’ fah thah Plahyoffs!
    Cawbahys (-7) ovah Buccahhnahhs: Buccahhhnahhs is too hahd to say when you ahn’t able to pronahnce thah lettah “Ahhh.”
    Ravahns (-2.5) ovah Chahhhgahhhs: See above for Buccahhnahhs.

    And yo-ah monah pick:

    Tempahh (-7) ovah Wyomahhng: I wahship at the Tempah… the tempah of PATRIOT NATION!!! Tim Tebah is goinah find NO ONE CAN SAVE HIM FAHM BELICHICK!

    • Anonymous

      Smarmy, arrogant, patronizing, defensive, annoying, standoffish, defiant. In a word: unhinged. IT’S PERFECT.

    • Anonymous

      DAHHSN’T MAKE YAH AHH CAHHCH YAH POSAH!!!

      Finishes copy and paste…heads over to Shurmur’s page on Wiki.

    • kjn

      Is there ANYTHING better than the Boston accent?

      wicked hahd hit

    • Anonymous

      Instant classic.

    • Anonymous

      Please tell me I’m not the only one that has to read this out loud.

  • actovegin1armstrong

    UL Laf +5 over San D State

    Ohio +3 over Utah State

    NE Pats -5 over the Broncos ****Super Bonus Bad Essay****

    I will refrain from any metaphysical references as much as possible, but…. to begin with, god must love Tom Brady more than Tim Tebow.
    The simple proof is Brady’s wife. The Super Bowl rings contribute to that evidence as well. I have heard too much about the Pats lack of defense. They have injuries and a lack of talent on defense, but their coaching and defensive schemes are still good, sound, winning football practices.
    I like what John FOx has done and I appreciate that he could change horses in mid stream and begin anew. (Easy straight line for an Elway joke…. Please fire away.)
    This week Tebow being atrocious for 3 quarters may be enough for New England to run away and hide. Denver could be down by 4 TD’s before it is Tebow time.
    Denver’s defense has some holes that Tom Terrific will exploit.
    Although I have enjoyed watching John “Horse Face” Elway in obvious pain, trying to smile while gritting his teeth in anger with ever Tebow Triumph. As they say “All good things must come to an end.” And this “devine intervention” circus needs to end this week. John Elway can then more comfortably search for a QB for next season.

    Titans -6.5 over the Colts
    Dallas -6 over Tampa Bay
    Rams +6.5 over The Bengals

  • Anonymous

    Week 15 Picks

    Atlanta – Win
    Utah State (-2.5) over Ohio
    Temple (-6.5) over Wyoming
    Cleveland (+6.5) over Arizona
    KC (+14) over Green Bay

    Essay Pick:

    A fascinating thing happened this morning when I went to the dictionary. There was a change.

    Quit – To cease normal, expected, or necessay action. To give up employment. To admit defeat. TO GIVE UP 41 UNANSWERED POINTS TO THE JAGUARS.

    It really is the weirdest thing to see a definition change that fast but well done Tampa Bay. The Dallas Cowboys are coming off another brutal loss in which their defense let them down (maybe Ryan actually had better players in Cleveland) at the end. The good news is that the Bucs will help your defense look better. Look for Romo to go crazy and the Cowboys to roll on Saturday night.

    Dallas (-7) over Tampa Bay

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      that reminds me, i wonder if the wiki entries for pat shurmur and mike holmgren have changed recently…

  • Anonymous

    Wyoming+6.5 over Temple

    Ohio +2.5 over Utah St

    Lafayette +5 over San Diego St

    Saints-7 over Vikings

    Raiders +1.5 over Lions

    ***Giants -7 over Redskins

    The Washington Redskins don’t have much to play for, except maybe a draft position, and even then they might want to lose. The Redskins have the win against the Giants in the first game of the year. Expectations for the team were high coming off that win, but now with just three games left the redskins season has gone downhill almost consistently since then.
    The Giants, meanwhile, are in the driver’s seat in the NFC east. If they win out the rest of their games then they can win the division. The cowboys are getting close and even one loss could cost them the division. The Giants have the incentive to win and I think they will do it.

  • http://www.davidaarnott.com David A.

    Temple -6.5
    Ohio +2.5

    Patriots -6
    Jets +3
    Panthers +6.5

    LIONS -1.5
    Suh is back. Carson Palmer sucks. There will be 36 total penalties called in the game, which benefits no one, really. Just to be clear, Palmer has completed 56 percent of his passes this year, and has 13 INTs (9 TDs) in only 7 total games. Jason Campbell may be the most unlucky, most railroaded QB of the past three decades. (Seriously: 4 different O-coordinators at Auburn, 3 in 4 years w/ WAS before getting dumped for over-the-hill McNabb, then dumped for post-injury Palmer, and both not because management thought he stank, per se, but that the brand name alternative was better.)

  • http://bryanjoiner.com/ Bryan Joiner

    As someone with a vested interest in this being open to everyone, I vote for it being open to everyone.

    I say: Super Bowl Essays, with a pick, open to the whole field. 250 words. From the pool who picks the winner correctly, Frowns chooses. He has earned the right.

    • Anonymous

      THAT’S AN IDEA.

      • Anonymous

        How about go another mile with that; run a full blank-slate losers’ bracket for the playoffs. This would exponentially heighten interest in what is already nearly the most exciting thing on earth.

        • Anonymous

          I think this has to be the answer.

  • Anonymous

    1) Raiders +1.5 (vs Lions)

    Not sure how the Lions went from likeable underdogs to annoying and overrated so quickly. I guess Suh taking his reckless play and coupling it with bold-faced lies to the media and bold-faced lies to police is a main reason. But the psycho is back after his suspension, so I guess that’s makes them better. And they’ll need to be better because they should have lost to the Vikings if the refs called the facemask penalty in the final moments of last weeks game. The Vikings loss (or should have been) would make them 1-4 in the last 5, only beating the lowly Panthers. Meanwhile, the Raiders come back home after a tough stretch w/ 4 of 5 on the road (went 3-2), capped by getting hammered by the Packers. Not a surprise. I suppose the fear is that its 2 losses in a row, with the other being a bad loss in MIA. But they were playing really good before that and getting back to the Black Hole should do the trick. So I will go with the Raiders against the fading Lions.

    2) San Diego St -5 (vs ULL)
    3) Saints -7 (at Vikes)
    4) Patriots -6 (at Bronocos)
    5) Chargers +2.5 (at Ravens)
    6) 49ers -1.5 (vs Steelers) – line via ESPN

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      i trace the decline of the lions to this.

      do you have the link for the niners line? i’d like to lock it and the bills/fins in together. thanks.

  • fsohiozjackson

    Utah State – 2.5
    Patriots -6
    Bengals -6.5
    Carolina +6.5

    Leaving one for late add or Monday night game

    Essay pick

    Cleveland Clowns +6.5

    It’s another December in Berea, the organization is crumbling, people are probably hiding under their desks and Mike Holmgren had to get out from behind his. Nice show you have over there, Randy. Anyway, this pick is based strictly on two things. Arizona, a bad team, coming off a good win and the Browns making a quarterback change. The Browns are still nine levels of terrible, but they can win this game with Wallace.

  • Anonymous

    Ohio +2.5 over Utah St.
    San Diego St. -5 over Louisiana-Lafayette
    Broncos +6 over Patriots
    Giants -7 over Redskins
    Saints -7 over Vikings
    Cardinals -6.5 over Browns

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      moneypick is?

      • Anonymous

        Giants. Essay will come tomorrow.

        • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

          cool. (you still have an essay-free week if you want it.)

          • Anonymous

            Lowercase cool it. We don’t need to be providing any encouragement for essay-free weeks.

  • http://twitter.com/DavidLDeBord David DeBord

    Frownie nailed it. The email from Ms. Johnson is clearly a sign that good work gets rewarded. I say have a separate post that gives the gift certificate to the best essay on the topic of “how Cheddar Bay has affected either the way I look at football, or the way I look at life.” Judgment to be made by Frownie after soliciting input from the commentators.

    • Anonymous

      Oh, that’s good. The house should like that one long time.

      • http://hardawayhatespittsburgh.blogspot.com PittsburghisforManLovers

        Either you are pretending to be a Vietnamese hooker or your comment is going to be fined by the grammar police.

        • Anonymous

          That one was for you PML.

    • Anonymous

      “how Cheddar Bay has affected either the way I look at football, or the way I look at life.”

      As if that could be put into words. Come on. Get real.

  • Anonymous

    hey hey hey here are the picks – essay to follow

    UL laf +5 san diego state
    new england -5 denver
    green bay -14 kansas city
    new orleans -7 vikings
    pittsburgh -1.5 49ers
    eagles -3 jets

  • http://bryanjoiner.com/ Bryan Joiner

    “First, Red Lobster has a redesigned look, inspired by the New England coast”

    WELL SHIT YES

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      i think the nearest red lobster to me is in manhattan.

      • http://bryanjoiner.com/ Bryan Joiner

        Ah yes, the one in commercials where they say “Offer not valid in Alaska or Times Square.”

        There’s one in Queens that is so amazingly packed all the time it’s incredible. Frowns be knowing. It’s right next to the Sizzler.

        Sizzler?

        • Dood

          we’re going to need to find a sizzler tie in on this blog too. like the “THE SIZZLER COACH’S HOT SEAT – w/ @tonygrossly” or something

          • http://bryanjoiner.com/ Bryan Joiner

            All you can pick week?

  • Dennis Hemingway

    UL-Lafayette +5 ***
    Temple -6.5
    Patriots -6
    Colts +7
    Raiders +1.5
    Vikings +7

    There is a lot of motivation for UL-Lafayette in this bowl game. They are a second thought in the Sun Belt since they finished 3rd this year and are not well known. San Diego St. played in a bowl last year and this is a drop off for them. So they might not be as motivated. And their fans don’t necessarily travel well. But for Lafayette, this is a home game and supposedly they’ll have at least 20,000 fans there. SDSU has only one win against a team with a winning record too. The Cajuns QB is a duel threat and they have an all American TE Ladarius Green who will have a field day. I’m taking the points and the Cajuns.

  • Anonymous

    Eagles -3
    Ravens -2.5
    Cowboys -7
    New Orleans -7

    College: Ohio +2.5

    Essay: Denver + 6

    I will take the pass as Tebow will write the essay for me. (Insert post-game sermon here).

  • Anonymous

    TeamFucktheFalcons already lost for me. Thanks a lot Gabbert you flowing-locked piece of monkey excrement. Next week is make or break now, with about 6 draft slots at stake.

    NE Pats -5 over the Broncos – Tebow hasn’t played a good game of NFL football yet. Plus if Jesus-God could beat Belichick, he would have done so before now.

    Giants -7 over Redskins – No faith in this one. These have proven to be my best picks.

    Dallas -6 over Tampa Bay – I think Winslow disease incubated slowly but has finally decimated the Buckos.

    Bengals -6.5 over Rams – Holy hell the Rams suck eggs.

    Finally, to correct a common error, it’s not true that the Browns can’t win American Football games. When it’s not in their interest to win, they often do. Check out the last minute run in 09 . Check out the end of season records for the past several years. If you think about it, this is the most damaging win this team could possibly come up with. No one will respect it despite good play of late in Arizona, and aot only will it will drop our draft position, it will start a preposterous QB controversy between dum and dummer, hearkening back to Quinn-Anderson. This plus stompings from the unholy duo will be a perfectly fucky way to end a fucky year. Everything that should go right has gone wrong (just witness the CB standings), so why wouldn’t that happen? It would. It will. While it might even cost me my #1 draft status in CB, I gotta be me. Cleveland Browns for all the ched.

    Ach. Just realized I need a junior circuit pick. Scratch Cinci. Gimme those ragin-canjuns…seems to be the conventional wisdom.

    • Believelander

      1000x liked for pointing out that Belichick = Devil’s luck = contract with the devil / some demon.

      • Anonymous

        Theology is not my strong suit, but I had Belichick AS the devil. I suppose it’s possible he just made some deal with him to get the demonic Brady. I’ll have to consider that.

  • http://twitter.com/byRiverBurns River Burns

    Ohio (+2.5) vs Utah State

    Colts (+7) vs Titans

    Patriots (-6) vs Broncos

    Jets (+3) vs Eagles

    Giants (-7) vs Redskins

    *Browns (+6.5) vs Cardinals*

    Did we really need a Mike Holmgren press conference to reveal that the Browns are a train wreck? Did we really need a concussed Colt McCoy being fed to the wolves to prove that maybe Pat Shurmur is a little in over his head with this whole Head Coaching gig? And, did we really need unpleasant off-field situations with Peyton Hillis and Joshua Cribbs to properly illustrate the climate of well being of the Cleveland Browns? Of course not.

    Of course, we can’t say the Browns are on their way down, the 2011 installment was, frankly, never that high up. The Cardinals are streaking and, like the Browns, the difference between their starter and fill-in at the quarterback position is quite negligible. So, Kolb versus McCoy may be off the table, but even if it’s Skelton versus Wallace, what difference does it make? The Cardinals just figure it out, like two weeks ago, the right formula for Beanie Wells is 25-30 carries per game.

    That shouldn’t make a difference because our fearless leader, our team President gave the shining endorsement of your Cleveland Browns defense, something along the lines of being “okay”. Well, hallelujah! They’re okay. The advantage for the Browns is that they’ve been preparing for this defense since the Baltimore game ended, and this is basically the JV version of what we saw last Thursday. Perhaps you’re thinking that doesn’t really support taking a team as dysfunctional as ours on the road, but there’s a method to my madness.

    First and foremost, the Cardinals need to run the table to have a prayer at the postseason this year. That means a win at Cincinnati sandwiched between home wins against the Browns and Sea Chickens, which is doable on paper, if you ignore one thing. This is exactly the type of game, coming off a big win over the Niners, that the Cardinals collpase in. Also, the Cardinals have never won 4 straight, let alone seven straight in any season in the desert (if you don’t mix in postseason games). I like the Browns to win straight up, but I’ll accept a back door cover because I don’t know how dreadful the consequences of a fifth win could be come April.

  • dwhalen

    Yikes. Not sure I had that LCB mojo rolling with me last week. Instead I ended up with a pair of bad knees and a staff infection that nearly ended my chances at a Cheddar Bay Playoff appearance. What can I say, some things just aren’t meant to be, and last week certainly felt like one of those things. A whopping 1 point.

    SAN DIEGO STATE -5 vs. LOUISIANA LAFAYETTE. If you pick against a Brian Sipe-coached QB, you are clearly not a Browns fan and you will simply bring even more negative Karma our way. I go with the Aztecs and Cleveland Browns All Time Leading Passer, their QB Coach, Brian Sipe.

    PACKERS -14 at CHIEFS. Have you seen Romeo Crennel as a head coach? Remember how well it went? I’m anticipating my dude, and fellow class of 2006′er All-Ohio QB Rick Stanzi to get some snaps in this one.

    LECHARLES BENTLEY ESSAY PICK OF THE WEEK:

    SEAHAWKS +3.5 at BEARS. Seattle is HOT. Chicago is not. My guess is also that 1/2 the team is flushing their piece of Sam Hurd’s weekly supply down the toilet before the feds come knocking. Let’s be real, nothing like a few 8-balls to get you going before a big game late in the season, and with Sammy Boy locked up, the Bears are gonna need something else to kick-start them this week. And, if da’ Bears think TEBOW was a good running back, then what they gonna do with BEASTMODE? SHITTTTT he gonna pop a few skittles and get things going on them drug-trafficking grizzlies. Can’t stop Lynch. he runs like a stud, and it sounds crazy, but if the west-coast seagulls win out, with the remaining schedule detroit has, and the loser of NYG-Dallas being out, it’s realistic to think that if Seattle gets hot, they can squeak in. Plus, i love pete carroll. And I’m presently sitting on a couch in Spokane. Book this one.

    VIKINGS +7 vs. SAINTS. I know the Saints are fighting for a 1st round BYE with the Niners, and I’m not saying they won’t win. I just have an odd feeling about the Vikings this week. Not to mention, the Saints defense isn’t exactly dominating.

    JETS +3 at EAGLES. Mark Sanchez is due to play shitty Mark Sanchez football, but I just don’t see the Jets’ D giving this game away. And, as long as pretty boy doesn’t give the game away Vince Young-style, then the Jets should be able to take it I’d think.

  • Believelander

    Honorary guest Cheddar Bay mock up:

    Cardinals -6.5 over Browns
    Cardinals -6.5 over Browns
    Cardinals -6.5 over Browns
    Cardinals -6.5 over Browns
    Tim Tebow -/+whatever over whoever: duh

    Essay Pick: Cardinals -6.5 over Browns. Hard to write 100 words here, but we’re going to attempt it, because the Browns are terrible garbage and God himself has to be offended to have to watch the incompetent flailing rubbish we see packaged up each week as professional football. The Cardinals have an offense, and the Browns don’t. The Cardinals have some sort of defense; the Browns allow 1.2 million yards per game on the ground. The Browns have to play in the Cards’ house, and Seneca Wallace is getting his first start this season, when we’d probably have won more games if we put him in around week 8 or so, so look for him to be a slight bit rusty.

    Sigh.

    • Anonymous

      I hope Frowns makes you eligible for the Red Lobster prize.

      • Believelander

        Editing post.

        • Anonymous

          Even better.

  • Anonymous

    This is no coincidence, merely the Football & Shellfish Gods rewarding you for your spirited endeavor from their respective perches.

    Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns (+4.5) vs. San Diego State Aztecs
    TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (+7) vs. Dallas Cowboys
    Seattle Seahawks (+3.5) vs. CHICAGO BEARS
    DENVER BRONCOS (+7.5) vs. New England Patriots
    SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (+2.5) vs. Baltimore Ravens

    ARIZONA CARDINALS (-6.5) vs. Cleveland Browns

    Woof woof. The Browns may actually get an upgrade at quarterback this week, and perhaps crack double digits, so there is some risk here. But given the media firestorm this past week and a clear void at leadership up and down the organization, there will be no circling of wagons here, just a bunch of mediocre football players counting down snaps till the season is over with no reason to rally for an incompetent staff. The Cardinals are somehow alive for a wild card spot, and have enough playmakers -Fitzgerald, Beanie and Peterson- to guide Fordham great John Skelton to a rewarding cover.

  • clay

    Wyoming (+6.5) / Temple
    Ohio (+2.5) / Utah St
    ULL (+5) / San Diego St

    NFL to follow…

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    temple -6.5 wyo
    at giants -7 skins
    saints -7 at vikes
    titans -7 at colts
    at broncos +6 pats
    ***at cards -6.5 browns

    the dood’s twitter avatar brought to mind a favorite movie and the career-defining performance of val kilmer. am i talking:batman? jim morrison? iceman? no. of course we’re talking about his role as doc holliday with more iconic scenes than a movie has a right to have. we’re talking about the movie Tombstone. which is a town in ARIZONA

  • http://bryanjoiner.com/ Bryan Joiner

    1. Utah St. -2.5 over Ohio
    2. Titans -7 over Colts
    3. Rams +6.5 over Bengals
    4. Cardinals -6.5 over Browns
    5. Ravens -2.5 over Chargers
    6. Broncos +6.5 over Patriots (essay)

    Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow. Von Miller.

    • Anonymous

      matt prater

  • Anonymous

    Beleaguered dad to 3 yr old: Do you want an English muffin with the cheesy eggies?
    3yrd old: yup
    BD: There you go missy.
    3yr old: I don’t want an English muffin.
    BD: WHAT?! You just said you did. I just asked. I JUST asked!! IS THIS WHAT WE’RE GOING TO DO TODAY LITTLE MISS, BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOUR SISTER ALREADY LOST MOVIES FOR TODAY AND I’VE GOT NO PROBLEM LETTING YOU JOIN HER IF THAT’S WHAT WE’RE HEADING…
    3yr old: I want a Cleveland muffin.
    BD: ….What?
    3yr old: Cleveland muffin.
    BD: Cleveland muffin. Is that what this is?
    3yr old: Have to have an orange hat (scrapes some cheddar off the eggies onto the muffin.) Cleveland muffin!
    BD: (Morning redeemed. Tears of prideful joy)

    Alright, she’s almost 4. Still. Not bad.

    Get to work Mike, Tom, and Pat. Too much at stake here.

  • Titus Pullo

    Dallas (-7) vs. Tampa Bay
    Ohio (+2.5) vs. Utah State
    Green Bay (-14) vs. Kansas City
    New Orleans (-7) vs. Minnesota
    NY Jets (+3) vs. Philadelphia
    Money: New England (-6) vs. Denver

    Why? Ask Pat!

  • Titus Pullo

    Dallas (-7) vs. Tampa Bay
    Ohio (+2.5) vs. Utah State
    Green Bay (-14) vs. Kansas City
    New Orleans (-7) vs. Minnesota
    NY Jets (+3) vs. Philadelphia
    Money: New England (-6) vs. Denver

    Why? Ask Pat!

    • Titus Pullo

      Real reason why:

      The Patriots have never lost to a team with a quarterback who completed less than 50 percent of his passes the same season as beating the Patriots since Bill Belichick took over as head coach back in 2000. For all that he’s done the past few weeks, Denver’s Tim Tebow is completing just 48.5 percent of his passes on the season. If this game was being played next weekend, there is no way we would go against Tebow on Christmas Eve, but since it’s this weekend we feel comfortable that Tom Brady (1-6 all-time vs. Denver) will do enough to push the Patriots to more than a one touchdown margin of victory.

      And thanks, NFL, for scheduling the Browns for the 4 p.m. slot I have to flip between the two games (and the Jet-Philly) game tomorrow. Thank goodness for the Sunday Ticket.

  • Titus Pullo

    Dallas (-7) vs. Tampa Bay
    Ohio (+2.5) vs. Utah State
    Green Bay (-14) vs. Kansas City
    New Orleans (-7) vs. Minnesota
    NY Jets (+3) vs. Philadelphia
    Money: New England (-6) vs. Denver

    Why? Ask Pat!

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    weirdness from my google chrome browser last night and this morning. twice i posted an essay on the amazing val kilmer in tombstone and how that provided me an indicator that cardinals will cover against the browns and then seen it evaporate. pretty sure the problem is on my side, but i dont want to fight these unseen powers. so i will revise my moneypick.

    cards -6.5
    ***temple -6.5
    giants -7
    saints -7
    broncos +6
    titans -7

    the numbers add up convincingly for temple. lock lock lock. here’s the roll call of stats:
    * wyo rush def = 115; temple rush offense=7
    * temple blowout wins –> nova 42-7, akron 41-3, maryland 38-7, ball 42-0, buff 34-0, army 42-14, kent 34-16… only one win of less than 6.5 (miami 24-21).
    * wyoming big losses –> neb 14-38, usu 19-63, tcu 20-31, boise 14.36… yet to lose within 6.5 points.
    * wyoming big rush allows –> sdsu 292, tcu 390, afa 312, colo st 263.
    * wyoming relies on getting turnovers –> 5 TOs vs tcu, 4 vs afa, 3 vs colo st, 6 vs bgsu… but temple generally takes care of the ball.
    * temple rolls up rush yds –> vs villanova 240, akron 305, marylard 285, ballu 350, ubuff 400, miamio 308, army 335.

    temple’s been a bit erratic on the road and this is a long trip for them. but the weather looks to favor a run game and that seems to favor temple. Steve Addazio surely had some Urban Meyer rub off on him… i expect him to be well-prep for his bowl debut.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    weirdness from my google chrome browser last night and this morning. twice i posted an essay on the amazing val kilmer in tombstone and how that provided me an indicator that cardinals will cover against the browns and then seen it evaporate. pretty sure the problem is on my side, but i dont want to fight these unseen powers. so i will revise my moneypick.

    cards -6.5
    ***temple -6.5
    giants -7
    saints -7
    broncos +6
    titans -7

    the numbers add up convincingly for temple. lock lock lock. here’s the roll call of stats:
    * wyo rush def = 115; temple rush offense=7
    * temple blowout wins –> nova 42-7, akron 41-3, maryland 38-7, ball 42-0, buff 34-0, army 42-14, kent 34-16… only one win of less than 6.5 (miami 24-21).
    * wyoming big losses –> neb 14-38, usu 19-63, tcu 20-31, boise 14.36… yet to lose within 6.5 points.
    * wyoming big rush allows –> sdsu 292, tcu 390, afa 312, colo st 263.
    * wyoming relies on getting turnovers –> 5 TOs vs tcu, 4 vs afa, 3 vs colo st, 6 vs bgsu… but temple generally takes care of the ball.
    * temple rolls up rush yds –> vs villanova 240, akron 305, marylard 285, ballu 350, ubuff 400, miamio 308, army 335.

    temple’s been a bit erratic on the road and this is a long trip for them. but the weather looks to favor a run game and that seems to favor temple. Steve Addazio surely had some Urban Meyer rub off on him… i expect him to be well-prep for his bowl debut.

  • zarathustra

    I’ve only seen two of the six teams that are playing today and haven’t gone back and forth on picks like this all season.
    Ohio +2.5 over Utah St.
    I was planning on going with the Aggies, because I couldn’t believe that a team that was so close to winning the MAC–and the honor of playing in the prestigious GoDaddy.com bowl–would be able to get up for a trip to Idaho for a bowl. I know nothing of the Aggies, but I do know that Bobcats are pretty darn good with a good young qb and some speed at the skill positions. And, it turns out that they do indeed have something to play for: the school’s first ever bowl victory. Once I found that out there was no way I could go against the home team to whom I owe so much and will be forever in debt to for the education they provided me. (at least it seems like forever that I will be paying back that damn student loan debt)
    I’ll be back later with NFL picks and money play.

  • Anonymous

    New one for me…making my picks not during the wine numbing, but the morning after. Ugh. Up till 3 AM (kids are home, yea). Hope the vibes aren’t blocked in this sorry state, but I guess we’ll see.

    Temple -6.5
    Bengals -6.5
    Browns +6.5
    Ravens -2.5
    Texans -6.5
    Broncos +6

    Essay later when the fugue state clears. Wow that’s a lot of sixes up there.

    JK and PP, if it’s too late for my Temple pick let me know and I’ll choose a later game.

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      it’s super ok for temple. 2pm start.
      (what’s the essaypick gone be?)

      • Anonymous

        I don’t know yet…not Temple. Kids are going to JCU game shortly and I can contemplate.

        • Anonymous

          Quick write a Temple essay and I’ll swear you emailed it to me by mistake.

          CTIL is taking this thing, losers!!!

          • Anonymous

            What’s the code word?

    • Anonymous

      OK, my essay pick today will be in honor of the Cincinnati Bengals. As disgusted as I am with the Browns, I have to be happy for a team that is kind of like we are, but then again so much better.

      I mean, they still have a shot at the wild card, but home games are blacked out in Cincinnati because they don’t sell out, because the city hates the owner and has no respect for the organization. Are you kidding me? They are so entirely watchable compared to the Browns it’s preposterous.

      This really hit home for me a few weeks ago when I was down in the ‘Natti for the Browns/Bengals game. As we walked up to Paul Brown Stadium in the pouring rain, our tickets weren’t at will-call as they were supposed to be. (They were Frostee somebody’s tickets, a defensive lineman for Cincy that forgot and left them in his locker and not at will-call). So I said- it’s OK, let’s go to a bar and watch the game! And my daughter’s BF – near tears because he had arranged the thing so I could go to my first ever regular season NFL game, and had reminded Frostee about it a million times – said we can’t….the game is blacked out.. and I truly did not believe him. That is such a foreign concept to me. How can the game not be on?

      (Long story short, scalping took place, we got in, blah blah blah), but what I remember most about that day – well OK, aside from the bad snap – is how dumbstruck I was that fans of a team in the chase in our division couldn’t watch the game. Huh? Wha?

      So that got me worrying that we might be in that very bad place sometime soon. As painful as the Browns are to watch, I remember how empty that bye week felt when there was no game on Sunday. Even last Sunday felt funny, although we got to see our Browns on Thursday.

      God I’m wordy when I’m exhausted. So, while this probably won’t help any fellow Cheddarians this week, I think the Bengals have a great shot tomorrow to take another step in the right direction. The Rams are awful. The Bengals are right in the middle of the league in offense, I think 19th in rushing and passing. Very even offensively. They are up there in D. The Rams are pathetic, near the bottom in everything and nothing to play for.

      I’m thinking blow out here. At least the Cincy fans at home will get to watch.

  • Dood

    I’ll put my collegiate action on Lafayette. Was just reading a game preview on ESPN which told me this is their first bowl appearance since losing to Tennessee State in the Grantland Rice Bowl in 1970.

    Their only other postseason appearance was a 24-7 victory over Arkansas A&M in the 1944 Oil Bowl.

    Remember the goddammed Oil Bowl, men!!!!!!

    (this is a non-essay pick. just an observation)

    • Dood

      hey by the way Kanicki, I think this week I am going to write two essays. one for the Eagles, and one for another team. I will love the eagles this week, if and only if either Giants of Boys lose. If they both win, the Eagles are eliminated and then I won’t love them so much. what’s the best way to go about this you think? post both essays with that condition and then tweet you right before the 4 o’clock games if there’s a last minute change?

      • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

        works for me, but: FROWNS!!?

        • Anonymous

          NO WAY. One essay pick. Ride or die. If we start getting into hypotheticals things become an admin nightmare.

          • Dood

            not a nightmare according to the admin. and it’s not a hypothetical, it’s a conditional. but fine, be that way.

          • The Cuuuuuuuuuuugs

            Ask Pat!

  • Anonymous

    cowboys -7 against buccaneers
    ohio +2.5 against utah st
    giants -7 against redskins
    seahawks +3.5 against bears*****
    panthers +6.5 against texans
    patriots -6 against denver

    2 words, beast mode…Marshawn Lynch has been a human wrecking ball the past 5 or 6 games and is going to make it a lot easier on a new and improved Tavaris Jackson. All of a sudden Jackson is hitting his wideouts, especially undrafted, under rated Doug Baldwin. Lynch on the ground opens up the Seahawks passing attack and the absence of Cutler and Forte are going to hamper the Bears. For some reason I really like what Pete Carroll has done with a roster not so stacked with talent. This game is close no matter what

  • Anonymous

    Sam Sneeda emailed his picks:

    Ohio +2.5 over Utah St
    UL-Lafayette +5 over SDSU
    Jets +3 over Eagles
    Browns +6.5 over Cardinals
    Panthers +6.5 over Texans
    Patriots -6 over Broncos ($$$$$)

    I live in Denver and typically do not like to see the Broncos win but lately Tebow has me believing. The fans around here are quite humble about this team’s recent success…cautiously optimistic you could say. All week I wanted to take DEN here but I just got that feeling that NE will run away with this one, you know, the type of game that just never seems to end and you start to feel sorry for the losing team (especially when that team has Tim). DEN is pretty banged up in their secondary and Champ can only cover one….which one? Brady goes off!! 35-17 NE

  • http://twitter.com/DavidLDeBord David DeBord

    Ohio +2.5 v Utah St.
    Pats -6 @ Broncos***
    Browns +6.5 @ Cardinals
    Steelers +1.5 @ 49ers
    Giants -7 v. Redskins
    Saits -7 @ Vikings

    Tebow’s reign of covers ended last week, and I think that streak continues here. The Broncos have had an amazing array of breaks to go there way in the past few weeks, and I think they are probably the best team in the AFWeak rigt now. That said, the Pats O has not really been held in check by anyone. They will score a lot tomorrow. This line is being held down by the Pats D’s porous reputation. But, it isn’t that bad, not Viking bad. The Tebows simply will not be able to score enough to keep this one close.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    IT HAPPENED AGAIN!

    i edited my essay and it vanished. :-|

    if any of you out there see my temple essay (dont refresh your browser), can you copy/paste it in the thread? would be much appreciated. otherwise i’ll rewrite it but it will surely lose the freshness and wit you’ve come to expect from me..

  • zarathustra

    Lions -1.5 over Raiders
    The Raiders are finally home after a tough road stretch and Carson Palmer is due for a good game, but the Lions are just the better team.
    Cowboys -7 over Buccaneers
    Dallas is 2-4 on the road this year and won by three and six in those two wins and the Bucs have been decent at home this year. Dallas very well may be overrated and I would sure like this a whole more at -6.5, but the Bucs appear to have quit on this season. Speaking of quitting. . . .
    Bengals -6.5 over Rams
    Maybe the Rams haven’t actually quit and they are just really really really bad. I don’t know. I do know that future Browns quarterback Sam Bradford is the worst quarterback I have seen this year. I know that he’s injured so maybe that’s part of it, but he makes Blaine Gabbert look like Aaron Rodgers. This would be my money pick but for. . . .
    Broncos +6 over Patriots***
    The Broncos D is really good but I can’t see them holding down Brady and the Patriots for four quarters. And though I know that Patriots D is porous I certainly can’t see Tebow keeping up with Brady. Moreover, the Broncos have had a nice run, but this just seems like one of those games were we see a return to the mean with a Patriots blow out.
    So why am I picking the Broncos? Because I had a dream that a bizarre special teams play at the end of the game gives the Broncos the win. It’s pretty rare that I have such dreams but it usually works out pretty well when I ride with them. Sure, only a deranged narcissist would pick a game on based on what he thinks he saw in his sleep, but it just so happens that I may be a deranged narcissist and who are you to judge me anyway. Just trust me. You’re either with me or you’re against me. And don’t even think about coming to me for playoff tickets.

  • Anonymous

    Despite my position in the standings having steadily declined for the last three weeks, my confidence is high heading into today after hitting the Monday Night game, the Thursday night game, and both division 1AA playoff games last night. MONTANA!

    So Im staying on my grind and sticking with what has gotten me this far, completely willing to go down with the ship if thats what it comes to. And that ship is me picking mostly NCAA games. Plus, Im gonna watch all three games today and Im not sure how many of the NFL games Ill get to tomorrow.

    Ive had a chance to watch both these teams a little bit this year, so for my money pick I’m heading to the New Mexico Bowl. If you look at surface stats, it would be easy to understand how people could like the Owls here. Wyoming is ranked 115th in run defense and Temple is ranked 7th in running offense. Must spell death for the Cowboys. Not so fast my friends (Lee Corso voice).

    The Owls havent beaten a team with a winning record this year. Literally, not one single victory against a quality team. Meanwhile, Wyoming finished the year strong, winning five of their last seven. And those two losses came at the hands of two respectable squads, in Boise St and TCU. Brett Smith doesnt play like a freshman, and is does a nice job leading the offense and turning it over. Dave Christiensen’s Cowboys have thrived as dogs this year, going 5-2 against the number, including three outright wins. And finally, and Im not sure it really means anything, but its interesting nonetheless. In Wyoming’s previous two bowl appearances, they have been double digit dogs and won each of them outright. The trend continues today, and Wyoming handles the Owls.

    *Wyoming +7

    The Bobcats have driven me crazy this year. Sometimes, they look like the best offense in the MAC. At other times they look like they dont want to play. I dont trust Frank Stolich as far as I can throw him, and I cant throw anyone very far. So not only are they consistently inconsistent, but they will still not have gotten over their ridiculous blown lead in the MAC title game. Not to mention they are flying west to a different time zone. Meanwhile, Utah St is gonna be excited and motivated, as they are playing in their first postseason game since 1997. Utah St will have the best player on the field and should easily score enough points to cover this small number.

    Utah St -2.5

    Sure this is ULL’s first ever post season appearance, but dont forget this will only be San Diego St second appearance. Also, expect SDSU to play with a chip on their shoulder as they were one of the last teams to get a bowl invitation despite winning eight games. They won four of their last five to get to that eight win total, and three of their four losses on the season came at the hands of Michigan, Boise St, and TCU. The Aztecs running game appears to be vastly underrated, and they get solid play at the QB position. So although the motivational and location aspects seem to favor the Ragin Cajuns here, Im still taking San Diego St to cover this single digit number.

    SDSU (-5)

    Consider the JameO officially brushed. Back tomorrow with the NFL.

  • PETER

    SD STATE -5 OVER ULL
    TAMPA =3 OVER DAL
    SAINTS -7 OVER MINN
    HOU -6.5 OVER CAR
    NE -6 OVER DEN
    CLE + 6.5 OVER ARI
    WALLACE WILL PLAY WELL ENOUGH FOR THE BROWNS TO WIN 2 MORE GAMES AND RUIN ANY CHANCE THEY HAVE OF PICKING UP A QB WITHOUT PULLING OFF A MAJOR TRADE. JUST OUR LUCK

  • Anonymous
  • Mike D

    Ohio University (Pick) over Utah State
    Dallas Cowboys -7 over Tampa Bay Buccaneers*
    New Orleans Saints -7.5 over Minnesota Vikings
    Houston Texans -6 over Carolina Panthers
    Tennessee Titans -6.5 over Indianapolis Colts
    Cincinnati Bengals -7 over St Louis Rams

    Dallas needs to win this week for a variety of reasons, not least of which is staying in the NFC East championship and NFC playoff hunt. They need to win o recover from the SNAFU at the end of regulation against the Cardinals two weeks ago. They need to win to try and make up for the lead they blew last week against the Giants, setting themselves back in the pack for playoff contenders. They need to win to help their head and special teams coaches employed in Dallas. They need to win to prove they can take care of business when it counts, and that they aren’t just a team who wakes up in November and falls quickly back to sleep in December. The Bucs of Tampa need to win as well. They took a thrashing last week from Jacksonville. Their season of high hopes has been little short of a disaster. Their young and confident team has turned into a mood and personnel nightmare which will likely lead to Raheem Morris packing up his office in 4 weeks and looking for a defensive backs coaching position elsewhere. They need to find a reason for their fans to look forward to next year. Sadly for Tampa Bay, it just isn’t happening. Both their lines are a mess. They can’t consistently or effectively move the ball on offense, and they turn the ball over like it is a greased watermelon. Dallas has a greater need this week, a better team, and a much better chance. Let’s just hope they are up more than 10 in the final seconds so we don’t need to see another lesson in coaching and time management errors at game’s end.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    brogatay, needsfood, smitty, squeeky, vince — looking for you.

  • dwhalen

    apparently I had a brain fart and only picked 5 games. in that case, it only makes sense to take Tebow and the BRONCOS +6 at home against the Patriots. Even Tom Brady can’t beat God. FACT.

  • Squeekycleen

    La Lafayette for a regular…rest later

    • Squeekycleen

      Skins for 3.5: back on the sexy rexy train this week. While the skins are undeniably atrocious, they have continued to put forth decent effort. They catch the giants here in an awkward spot, off the huge comeback win at Dallas now in another near must win at home against a division rival. Not to mention this giants squad has major flaws including a weak defense. Therefore, given their proclivity for close ones and a number at 7 that leaves the backdoor open, I will take a chance on this garbage skins team as top pick of the week.

      Others:
      Kansas city
      Minnesota
      Carolina
      Miami

  • Anonymous

    Smitty will have UL-LAF and the Cowboys tonight.

  • Anonymous

    HVent checked anything, 10 min or so late. Accept my San diego -5 . If not, understood. Rest coming tomorrow

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      youre good.

  • zarathustra

    If the house will allow it, I would like to change my lions pick to browns. Because the only thing this season is missing is a quarterback controversy.

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      got it.

      the policy on that -as far as i know- is that this is not like a real sportsbook. you can change all you want up to the deadline before kickoff.*

      that there are few changes after people post their picks is more respect of a of bad action law than anything else.

      *the deadline before kickoff is technically three hours. “… picks should be in by three hours before kickoff for each game you pick (subject to the same penalties as essay bagging), because otherwise the whole data collection thing goes out the window.” (paragraph 10) we havent enforced the three hour thing on your base pick, but i’d have to think changes would need to adhere.

  • Anonymous

    Ravens -2.5***
    Jets+3
    Seahawks +3.5
    Lions -1.5
    Patriots -6

  • Anonymous

    Sorry for the tardiness. @Kanicki–Frowny (thanks for the assist) had me down for LL and the Dallas Cowboys last night. I am not sure if you missed it or had me for Wyoming, but it was Dallas. Feel free to confirm with him. Here are my 4 remaining picks.

    NE Pattycakes over the Tebow Jesuses*******—Feel free to bet your house on this one. I think the Pats are going to stomp the shit out of the Tebows and I am super excited that they are finally playing a real team. This thing has to end sooner or later. QBs can not play (start) in this league with 46% completion percentages and Derek Anderson like play for quarters on end. Lets be realistic and assume that Tebow comes back to Earth sooner or later. Can you imagine betting on Tebow to win a road playoff game? I can’t, but I can surely imagine betting against him.

    I also have:

    Detroit -1.5

    NYJ +3

    Balt -2.5

    Joy to the world!

  • clay

    Browns (+6.5) / Cards
    Ravens (-2.5) / Chargers

    Ched

    Patriots (-6) / Tebows

    The Tebow love fest gets derailed today. What has really gone on there is great Bronco D, a clutch ass kicker, and a lot of cheese going their way. A motivated Patriot team is extremely tough to beat. I have full confidence in the hoody and future president of the United States Tom Brady today. Looking for something along the lines of 17-3 or 20-6.

    // 2-1 in bowls this year (+8 units) //

  • clay

    Browns (+6.5) / Cards
    Ravens (-2.5) / Chargers

    Ched

    Patriots (-6) / Tebows

    The Tebow love fest gets derailed today. What has really gone on there is great Bronco D, a clutch ass kicker, and a lot of cheese going their way. A motivated Patriot team is extremely tough to beat. I have full confidence in the hoody and future president of the United States Tom Brady today. Looking for something along the lines of 17-3 or 20-6.

    // 2-1 in bowls this year (+8 units) //

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    huge action on pats/tebows:

    pats
    acto*
    bup
    p4ev
    chrP
    chkK
    clay*
    davA
    dbor*
    denn
    zac
    pete
    riv
    snee*
    slik
    smit*
    pull*

    tebows
    clil
    dwhl
    fred
    kan
    rod*
    stk
    zara*
    bryj*

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      and for mike holmgren’s bookkeeping, here’s who may call him for playoff tickets and who may not:

      browns
      bup*
      clay
      clil
      dbor
      zac*
      grr
      pete
      riv*
      snee
      zara

      cards
      bryj
      chrP*
      fred*
      kan
      stk

  • Anonymous

    Cheddar me with the MFin Rams. Non-essay. The rest coming soon.

  • Anonymous

    Cheddar me with the MFin Rams. Non-essay. The rest coming soon.

  • Anonymous

    Cripes cripes cripes essay here finally I have fourteen mins go: last nights ul laf win was nothing if not inspirational, right? Something special is going on in the dome, that’s for sure. Not quite the same dome this weekend, but drew bees and co will take some of that new orleans magic on the road to the metrodome today, where they will face a potentially ponder-less Viking team. New orleans is clicking lately and will continue to roll – the saints pretty much can’t lose in the dome. Even the new Orleans run defense has been coming to play lately. So yeah I’ll take the saints giving 7 and congrats ragin Cajuns.

  • Dood

    fuck so last minute! sorry kanicki!!!

    Eagles (essay pick – because I was too lazy to write the other one)

    Apparently, it’s been over 25 years since a 5-8 team was favored by at least a field goal against an 8-5 team. But here are the Eagles, in just such an unusual position, looking to match their season high win streak of… two games. People still clearly believe there’s a load of unrealized potential in Philly. Egging that sentiment on is the fact that, at 5-8, this team is still capable of winning the NFC east. At one point little more than a writhing, desiccated carcass, nobody bothered to cut of the head of this beast. Now, the prospects of the monster at least lurching angrily back into the playoffs would have to be considered better than just a statistical possibility. Here’s the most feasible scenario for Philly’s playoff qualification (it ain’t all that far-fetched): Dallas beats Tampa (very do-able), the Giants lose to the Skins and the Jets in successive weeks (again, hardly out of the question), Philly beats Dallas on Christmas Eve (they torched Dallas in the first meeting of the year). If all of that happens, it sets up an NFC east Armageddon in the last week of the season. Dallas at Giants, Washington at Philly, both 1pm games. All but Washington would still have a chance of winning the division at that point. Dallas wins, they’re in. Giants win and Philly loses, Giants are in. Giants win and Philly wins, Philly is in. It’s such heartburn waiting to happen that I can’t see it NOT happening. The division has been up for grabs, and all over the place this year. A down to the wire clusterfuck is a logical conclusion and one that the NFL would surely welcome – it would be like an extra round of the playoffs for three of the largest markets in the league. Furthermore, if the Jets beat the Eagles this week, and the Giants beat Washington, it can potentially render the Giants/Jets Xmas eve game meaningless (at least to the Giants who will only be able to secure a playoff spot by beating Dallas, no matter the outcome against gang green). I’m sure the NFL will want the two Jersey teams going full tilt in that one as well, so I expect the flags to fly in the Eagles favor this week. That with understanding that they’re completely against the wall now, I’m taking Philly.

    other picks

    Giants
    Saints
    Chargers
    Steelers

  • FSOhioZJackson

    I want to complete my selections with the Steelers.

    Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    New England Greatriots for all the Cheddah.

    Also, Cardinals and Chargers to round out a 5-1 slate.

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