Scene Cover Story: The Curse of Chief Wahoo

by Cleveland Frowns on April 26, 2012

Hot off the press at your local newsstand, so make sure to pick up a copy, or read it on the web, or both.

You’ll see that @OKPants hit a home run with the cover art, and there’s a lot of background that didn’t make it into the final cut thanks to word limits, etc., but as luck would have it I’m in Court all day so won’t be around to talk about this or the Draft or anything really until I get to Map Room tonight so we’ll have to get to it later. I’ll be at Map at around 6 or so, everything else you need to know about the party is here, and we’ll see you there.

  • rgrunds

    Good luck in court. While we’re on the topic of pejorative caricatures, Cleveland Courts certainly deserve one.

  • rgrunds

    By the way, the notion that our mascot causes institutional demise, is a very weak causal relation.

    Pick it up, Hellenos.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      Deleye

  • Beeej

    The cover art is killer. Nice article.

  • Franklin Mayse

    Very good article. You’re an incredible writer, and when you are not attacking people who disagree with you, you are very persuasive.

    I have been a Chief Wahoo fan for my entire life and have continued to support it through inertia mostly. If the mascot changed, I would still love the Indians, or Cleveland Native Americans or whatever they would be called.

    • rgrunds

      ha….Ha……HA! Someone else understands you Pete. tee hee hee…

      Li’l Fussbudget.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      Thank you! And for understanding that there is a time for being very persuasive, and a time for attacking people who disagree with me.

      I hope you’ll spread the word re: Wahoo.

  • Captain_Spaulding

    Gonna be a long day; here is some interesting news re: Trent Richardson’s possible suitors:

    http://www.rotoworld.com/player/nfl/7462/trent-richardson

  • CleveLandThatILove

    What’s this about a party??

    • rgrunds

      You are so supercilious.

      • CleveLandThatILove

        It’s a cover for my super-silliness.

      • actovegin1armstrong

        rgrunds,
        You are right Frownie is very funny sometimes.

    • actovegin1armstrong

      Tonight I am going to party like it is on sale for $19.99.

  • actovegin1armstrong

    Nice article Frownie,
    I am completely towing the line when it comes to respecting people and their race, heritage, et cetera, but my lack of ability to believe anything metaphysical makes “the Chief Wahoo Curse” an unimportant, frivolous and insulting sidebar to a much more important story.

    Do you really believe that there is a curse?
    If you do I hope that you do not see it as one of the top ten reasons to do away with Chief Sambo.

  • rgrunds

    You deleted me for THAT? Why don’t you just go to N. Korea and edit or something.

    Little priss.

  • Beeej

    Can we get rid of the “load more comments?” Very annoying. Also is there any way to prevent the threads with lots of replies from going completely vertical before disappearing into the 12th dimension? I thought they taught you how to take care of this stuff in the first year of law school.

    • rgrunds

      Yeah, get rid of the comment organizer. The comments are half the reason to be here.

  • actovegin1armstrong

    I just received a must assuredly incorrect and unsubstantiated rumor, but from a terrific source, that the teams holding picks 3-6 are all trying to trade down.

  • ChuckKoz

    great work Pete…..especially enjoyed the detailed breakdown of the naming of the team

    and the artist did an amazing job complementing all of your research.

  • mo_by_dick

    I hope you remembered to save a peremptory challenge for Ryan Tannehill.

  • p_forever

    i love the cover so much. and the article, of course. :) a banner week for you, frownie.

    • actovegin1armstrong

      COOL IT! COOL IT! COOL IT!

      • p_forever

        Lol you should know better than anyone that I don’t respond to COOL IT mandates, acto.

        • actovegin1armstrong

          But it is fun to be the COOL IT! guy.

          • p_forever

            role-playing is fun, for sure.

          • actovegin1armstrong

            Great idea p_4, you can be the diabolical doctor and I will be the helpless patient.
            Then….

  • rgrunds

    Wahoo is not an Indian. That’s a ruddy Jew.

    Bleeding Heart Liberal should work on phenotype identification.

    You’re in such a hurry to find an injured party…..

  • kjn

    Great article. Amazing cover.

    Do the pro-Yahoo contingent have any arguments left? Outside of “you’re a PC #*@*!” or “FIGHTING IRISH!”, which aren’t arguments at all. Even the ol’ “well I know a native American….” gets countered with the great line by the Ferris State – “there were African Americans who were OK with riding at the back of the bus too”.

    Most disheartening though was the Dolan quote. Because casino employees don’t regularly tell you things you want to hear, right?

    • NeedsFoodBadly

      the “I know a Native American” and “I spoke to an Indian once…” are the worst kind of tokenism.

  • Captain_Spaulding

    If Tampa trades up to #3 for TRich as is being reported, what’s your move???

    I say trade back to #10 for Floyd.

    • actovegin1armstrong

      Captain,
      The problem is that both teams have to want to make the trade.
      Where did you get the info about Tampa wanting to trade to 3 to get T?

      • Captain_Spaulding

        No kidding Acto; I’m not pulling names out of thin air here.

        http://www.rotoworld.com/recent/nfl/7462/trent-richardson

        • actovegin1armstrong

          I saw that, in one part of the article they say the Jags and then they say the Bucs later, after listing a bunch of “trade up” teams, not including Tampa.

          Their are so many teams trying to trade down and it makes no sense to trade down this year for a rather obvious reason.

          Two words: “Rookie Salary Cap”

          • Captain_Spaulding

            It actually still makes perfect sense if you can get the guy you want while acquiring an extra couple picks; the rookie wage scale doesn’t change that.

            Anyways, you need to scroll down and read the earlier posts Acto:

            “League sources tell the Cleveland Plain Dealer that the Buccaneers are “very interested” in Trent Richardson, and “might consider trading up to No. 3″ to secure him, ahead of the Browns.”

            “ESPN’s Bob Holtzman reported on SportsCenter Thursday that he “does sense some concern” amongst Browns brass that they could be leapfrogged for Alabama RB Trent Richardson. The most likely team to blow by the Browns would be the Buccaneers, probably at the price of the No. 5 overall pick and a third-rounder. Holtzman is live at Browns headquarters, and he’s clearly got well-placed sources inside the facility.”

          • actovegin1armstrong

            Captain,
            The best case would be for the Bucs to covet TR and the Vikings to take Kalil. Then the Browns could trade down to the Bucs, get Claiborne and another pick.
            My source is oftentimes inside the facility too and not a journalist.
            (An idiot, but not a journalist.)

          • Captain_Spaulding

            My best case scenario is everyone stays put and the Browns end up with the best player in the draft, Trent Richardson. Plan b involves a trade down to target Floyd. I’d settle for Claiborne if stuck at 4 & TRich is off the board.

          • Captain_Spaulding

            Trent baby!!!!! I can live w/that trade, now go get me Floyd!!!!!

      • NeedsFoodBadly

        I’d be down with that for sure.

  • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

    Please tell me this song will be playing tonight:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QQIJ8J5OOEY

    • actovegin1armstrong

      Stevie Franchise has had better moments PML.

  • ChuckKoz

    to the powers that be (disqus?), please (!!!) fix the comments section.

    if the browns draft Tannehill or make a trade, there is the potential for 400 comments tomorrow, but it is way to hard to follow the conversation with this 5 at a time deal

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      if frowns attempts any web admin between now and 11am tomorrow, we’ll wind up with three comments at a time.

      #sponsoredbyjimbeam

      • Dubbythe1

        Agreed

  • Dubbythe1

    Just arrived in Cleveland. Wondering where the easiest place to park is. Now I guess is when I wish I had a twitter, but those moments are fleeting

  • NeedsFoodBadly

    Wish I could be there with all you draft party folks in person. Pour one out for all us faraway commenters. In the meantime, I’ll drink some scotch out here in NoCal in solidarity.

    • Kamov

      I will drink some tequila here in NM and pray that the Browns feel solidarity with their fans this year and play like they got some pride.

  • bupalos

    Still have to clean up a deadline here, but hope to be frownin’ it up before the first pick at least.

    • actovegin1armstrong

      Take your time, I heard a rumor that the first pick may be Andrew Luck.

  • Petefranklin

    Browns trade up! not smart in my opinion. Shades of the soldja?I hope not!

  • Captain_Spaulding

    Richardson & Weeden; my thoughts exactly.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    i dont know if decastro is going to be the 10 year all pro that everyone said he would be.
    i dont know if the lions were secretly trying to draft a 28 year old backup to stafford.

    these are things i dont know.

    because i dont i know these things i cant say taking weeden at 22 is utterly stupid. but i suspect.

    • bupalos

      Kanick, after the picks I uttered something heartfelt, then asked CTIL! what you had said about it, and she turned over her ipad thingy and showed me my own words with your name next to them. >>>spooky music>> Also, CTIL! and P! shall both be referred to with !exclamation! points! from here on out! if I have anything to say about it.

      Hope everyone noticed that Kanick called his shot on TRich back in tw0stember or whatever it was. BTW Kanick WTF? (that’s “where the #uck” in this case, ICYDGI) Rochester represented, but I guess that’s how you right wing nazi types roll. Or don’t roll, as the case may be.

      • CleveLandThatILove

        !Bup!

      • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

        you should see my disqus thread when i weighed in on a drudgereport article. a senator from oklahoma is *outraged* by a video where an EPA official states that they’re targeting oil/gas for enforcement. i mean–> dog bites man, right? like who else should be targeted? i mean .. right? inhofe doesnt like EPA?? really??? slow-news-day-trolling, anyone?

        anyway, even after presenting my longstanding nazi party credentials (I WAS AT MUNICH!!), the brownshirts were ready to throw me out. im now convinced that we need to take out ernst rohm if we’re going to get anywhere.

        • CleveLandThatILove

          You were missed last night, guy. FWIW, Bup appears to be completely normal to the naked eye. Frowns…not so much.

          • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

            well considering frowns creates his own gravity it’s understandable.

            you travel with the whole ipad apparatus??

          • CleveLandThatILove

            I splurged on the IPad 2 due in no small part to my secondary income from Cheddar-related surplus. And it fits neatly in my purse, so…

      • p_forever

        super bup!

    • Captain_Spaulding

      Did you happen to notice all the trades? Very possible someone could have traded up before 37 to grab Weeden. Not a risk worth taking.

  • CleveLandThatILove

    Fun night. Couldn’t hook up with PML on Skype In spite of all of our efforts. Pooooop.

  • bupalos

    Back in the carryover county… pumped enough about meeting (a good portion of) the folk that I just want to extend thanks to superhost Pete et al, That was fantabulicious and I really don’t know what you people who don’t live here are thinking. You dumb a-holes missed Aristophanes planting his patented headstand on a wobbly hightop stool. Much times. AND I don’t think he even noticed it was wobbly. He creates his own gravity. AND he did NOT come nearly as close to kicking out the light fixture as all the nervous nellies thought.

    Sucks to be you, he said at 3:20

    BTW Frownie, did map do their mensroom upstairs just to honor the article or what?

    BTW since it’s pretty much impossible to come with a cnote and leave with $96 having smuggled out 6 shots and a pitcher, thanks to whoever deserves it.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      Forty billion likes. In court again today. Will website post later asap.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    woke up this morning and still hating..?… yes, hating the weeden at 22 pick when reiff/decastro were there.

    welp. it’s done now. this guy better be 10x better than bradford since bradford didnt do squat in shurmur’s offense.

    let’s see… 2010 rams comparison…
    stud RB, check;
    no WRs, check;
    holes in o-line, check.

    yep, weeden’s rookie year projects to 76.5 passer rating except that he’ll be 30 in his sophomore year.

    and meanwhile the steelers walked away with steve hutchinson. smh.

    • p_forever

      me too me too wrt weeden – but on the way up to my office today i was complaining about weeden in the elevator, and this woman told me that she was happy about the pick because well – hell – he’s ,at least being better than colt mccoy. and so while i’m not convinced it was the best move, maybe it wasn’t the worst one either. and – let’s all say it together – let’s not let the perfect be the enemy of the good, right?

      i do wish we could have gotten michael floyd somehow. maybe we can get this georgia tech alleged phenom who only actually caught like two passes? lol.

      • CleveLandThatILove

        Floyd would have been the gravy, no doubt.

        • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

          Floyd could probably also figure out Skype on an iPad without having a bunch of rocket surgeons there to assist. I’m pretty sure this is what it looked like last night:

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkwrIZQDt50

          • ClevelandFrowns

            TRUTHIEST THING POSTED EVER ON INTERWEBZ.

          • CleveLandThatILove

            We could have used a bupette right then, or anyone underage for that matter.

          • ClevelandFrowns
          • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

            So am I the white woman?

          • CleveLandThatILove

            There’s no reply box for PML’s comment to this, but just tell him he is the white woman if and only if he has a hyphenated last name.

            Direct quote from multiple pediatricians/neonatologists heading in to speak with a new mother: “She’s hyphenated, wish me luck, and page me if I’m not back in 15 minutes.”

    • Captain_Spaulding

      Still plenty of value at OL & WR in round 2. Relax.

    • bupalos

      You’re missing it entirely Kanicki. In order to win in the NFL, you have to have a 1st round QB. Obviously if we waited to take Weeden at 37, that would be out the window.

  • Nesbw

    My friend went to a Najaho reservation on a mission trip and was greeted by a Native American wearing a Cleveland Indians cap. It still makes me laugh.

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