Major League Baseball is the Absolute Worst

by Cleveland Frowns on August 28, 2012

Look who was at Cedar Point last week.

The back of the shirt says, “ALL 27 OF THEM” accompanied by a picture of 27 World Series Rings and yes I’m taking your picture because parading around Cedar Point in this shirt is like showing up in foreclosure court just to watch, wearing a shirt with pictures of your 27 mansions on it with LET MY HOUSES DO THE TALKING written on the front.

There is nothing stupider than Major League Baseball.

Here’s another photo from Cedar Point:

And in other news, the 2010 Browns sack leader Marcus Benard was cut yesterday, ending one of the saddest chapters in recent Browns history. Look for him in the Pro Bowl and/or Super Bowl soon. Salute.

The quote of the day is from Pat Shurmur:

“Everybody is out there in the preseason busting their fanny to get it right – players, coaches, officials, the people that manage the game, and I’m sure the people who sell hotdogs – we’re all trying to get it right during the preseason so that when we kick it off here Week One, we’re ready to go.”

And Cheddar Bay lines for Week 1 have been posted. The Week 1 open thread with rules and instructions for entering will be posted tomorrow. Hope everyone has a decent go of it until then.

  • ChuckKoz

    frowns,
    can you give a quick heads up on how this weekend will work. assuming we will all be picking bama/michigan. but do we make 6 other college picks? just need an idea to determine how many thursday games i should consider

    • ClevelandFrowns

      Yes, good call. Bama/Michigan is the All Play this week, with five other games to pick. The All Plays are worth an extra half point (1.5 total), with the essay picks being an extra point and a half this season (2.5 total as opposed to 3.5 last year). If you want to make the All Play your essay pick, it will be worth 3 points total (one point for the pick, the extra half point for all play, and extra 1.5 for essay), and you still have to pick five other games. Is this clear? It’s really the only major rule change, except:

      An engraved Tim Couch bottle goes to the Essay of the Year, determined by end of the year reader vote from top essays selected by editorial staff.
      Also, there’s a new way to enter picks this year to help automate scoring. Cheddar Bay has an IT department now. You’ll see shortly. It’s all incredibly exciting.

      Also, everyone who plays will have to have a gmail account.

      • ChuckKoz

        dear god, i needed cheddar season to role around. sports has been unbearable ever since the nba finals. couple that with having to read about paul ryan and i really needed this. hopefully i can finish better than 30th this year.

      • GrandRapidsRustlers

        I have to ask…is the Tim Couch bottle full?

        The lucky winner may need something to drink while waiting for their playoff tickets from Holmgren.

        • ClevelandFrowns

          The idea is that the Tim Couch bottle will be sealed and full but you know I’m not in a position to make any promises about this sort of thing so early in the season.

      • ClevelandFrowns

        IT says nevermind on the gmail accounts so forget that part.

  • The Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs

    Could they also make a Yankees’ shirt that has a big pile of money on it and reads: “If you want to compete, find a bigger market sucka.”?

    Fired up and ready for an epic Cheddar Bay year!

  • humboldt

    In England, “fanny” is slang for the female anatomy. Come on Randy Lerner, impart a bit of knowledge to the face of your franchise before you skip town

  • http://twitter.com/KyleKutuchief Kyle Kutuchief

    Wind Seeker is one of the more under rated rides at Cedar Point (second photo taken seated on the ride).

    • ClevelandFrowns

      I find it more unnerving than any ride there. Something about centrifugal force and hanging by a string at 300 feet I guess.

      • Petefranklin

        It always happens to the fat kid though so…good thing were not Detroit.

  • Art_Brosef

    Perhaps this is better suited for tomorrow, but Im at my computer today so ill post it here.

    Whats the rational behind the All Play? Im not complaining, Im just curious as to the origins / reasoning behind the implementation.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      The rationale behind the All Play is to get the Cheddar Bay community’s input on each week’s biggest game.

      • Art_Brosef

        Is the game of the week decided by you? I assume it could be either an NFL or NCAA game, in which case it might not be so obvious.

        • ClevelandFrowns

          Yes, there will be some tough calls here and there but I’m confident in the Executive Committee’s ability to make wise choices.

          • Art_Brosef

            OK, but if the game of the week ever includes Arkansas State, Western Kentucky, or the Jets, the committee will be under suspicion.

          • ClevelandFrowns

            The day the committee is not under suspicion is the day this competition might as well fold up.

          • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

            i see precious little sun belt luv this week.

            cant see riding arky st. in eugene.
            wku faces rival austin peay.. load up on wku if you can find a line. let’s go peay! <–not this week.

          • http://twitter.com/byRiverBurns River Burns

            Executive committee?

            Is this like David Stern’s Executive Committee that opted to suspend Ron Artest for the entire 2004-2005 season by verdict of the 1-0 vote that Stern won?

          • ClevelandFrowns

            The Executive Committee votes no comment on this.

  • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

    Frowns, have you seen this one?

    http://tinyurl.com/9btbk2n

    “Fan gets kicked out of mostly empty section of Browns game for standing up and cheering”.

    How could someone possibly get kicked out for cheering for a Browns touchdown? It’s not as though they have Green Bay’s offensive capabilities now, is it?

    • GrandRapidsRustlers

      Open web comment to our new owner Jimmy:

      Put an end to this nonsense.

      Signed,

      Every Browns fan who remembers how fun Municipal Stadium was.

      • Beeej

        AND bring back the troughs.

        • ClevelandFrowns

          Cool it.

        • Bryan

          When I was seven years old, I once saw a drunk man sleeping in the trough. While other drunk men peed on him. That same day, I saw several other drunk men steal one of those huge vats of stadium mustard (that were chained to the concession stand). My how far my Brownies have fallen. I miss the old days.

          • Beeej

            My first ever case of “stage fright” happened at those troughs.

          • acto

            Beeej,
            I really messed up, I thought that the troughs were for hand washing.
            I was appalled at all of those guys pissing in the sink while I was trying to wash my hands.

          • Petefranklin

            Hope it wasn’t one that I saw opened and spit loogeyed in when I was young, well actually it’s hard to smuggle stadium mustard in carry on nowadays, so I hope it was.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      Yup. This is the same guy who posted in the comments here yesterday.

      • wiseoldredbeard

        This needs to be brought to Haslam’s attention by someone with a press pass — and he needs to answer a question about it. So, the question is, who has the balls to do it?

        • CleveLandThatILove

          Hoping he truly values our feedback and installs an effective PR dept once he gets the keys. He said he did not want to be a distraction press-wise right now, so the opportunity may not come up for questions.

        • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

          From what I’ve seen on Twitter, The Fan is all over this. I’m sure Bull and Fox will crucify the Browns for it today, as they should.

          • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

            speaking of dustin fox, serious question:
            1. do grown men (over 25) still wear ballcaps backwards?
            1a. should they?

            seems like an affectation i could let a high schooler skate on, maybe a college student. but comes a time where you gotta wear the cap forward, no?

          • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

            I’ll occasionally wear one backwards, but it’s usually only if I’m at a game and I’m trying to keep the sunburn off of my pale Irish neck.

          • CleveLandThatILove

            Um, the grown men are relishing peeing in troughs and best amusement park rides here today, so….

          • Beeej

            Jealous? Side note: My mom had an operation one winter where she was required to wear a catheter for several days afterward. The first thing she did when she got home was use the cath to write her name in the snow.

    • jpftribe

      This is so incredibly sad to see how pathetic this franchise has become. It is so outrageous, I can’t even be angry about it. It’s just really depressing.

  • Dinger63

    Frownie, any correlation, inverse or otherwise, between a man who wears a t-shirt boasting about World Series rings having never been won personally and I.Q.?

  • BIKI024

    re: Marcus Benard. we’ll see if the kid even plays this year. he’s way too banged up, even for practice squad. Lesson: don’t ride motorcycles

    re: Yankees. they have only won 1 world series since the big free wheeling money spending era in baseball began. sure in 99 and 00 they had highest payroll, but that was to pay their homegrown guys who helped them win in 96 and 98. but before that most of their star players were homegrown guys sans Reggie Jackson and The Babe.

    Homegrown:
    Yogi Berra
    Gehrig
    DiMaggio
    Whitey Ford
    Guidry
    Stottlemyre
    Mickey Mantle
    Munson
    Jeter
    Bernie
    Posada

    • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

      How does anything stated in your entire comment make this asshole’s t-shirt any less offensive?

      • BIKI024

        doesn’t offend me, it’s a free world. i got my own problems to deal with, especially with the Indians shitting the bed in epic fashion, let alone caring what some douchebag wears to an amusement park that draws over 3 million visitors per year

        • actovegin1armstrong

          Biki Biki Biki,
          “doesn’t offend me, it’s a free world.”
          Normally even when we disagree I appreciate your intelligence, but this is ridiculous.
          I thought that you had more Geo-political awareness than to spout this rather ofensive remark.
          I wish that I had more power to strive for a free world.

      • Petefranklin

        1997!! SCOREBOARD!! Thanks Sandy Jr, cough, woof.

  • technivore

    I had a good long think on the Indians last night, and it sort of finally dawned on me just how deep of trouble they really are in. I mean it won’t be long before we are openly discussing franchise viability, and IMO the fault lies about 50/50 between the totally insane economic conditions they are forced to operate under and their horrifically inept drafting over the past 15 years. I want very much to like Mr. Antonetti — we share an alma mater and have corresponded a little over the years — but I have come to realize that he is every bit as trapped in groupthink as the old school scout types lampooned in Moneyball. I guess this is no great revelation to most people, but when you look at the state of the franchise — 4 players TOPS on the major league roster that would qualify as above average, and that’s being charitable — and a complete void in the minors, paired with a new CBA that makes it harder for them to exploit the few advantages they did have (like their academy in the DR and over-slot drafting) means that, barring a miracle, they are going to be simply a non-entity in MLB for the foreseeable future. Which means the fans will stay away and the whole thing spirals down the toilet until they move to Nashville or just fold up altogether.

    Serious question: of the three major pro sports franchises in Cleveland, which will be the next one to finish a season with a winning record?

    • technivore

      it should be understood by all that the above rant is not meant to excuse Yankee fans in any way shape or form.

    • GrandRapidsRustlers

      Winning record: Cavaliers
      Championship: I’ll get back to you.

      As far as the Tribe goes agree on most all but remember this is a problem for all of baseball. The Orioles drew only 10,995 last night and if you think this city hates the owner well…

      MLB has a huge problem going forward and due to the imbalance in TV deals I have no answers.

      • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

        taking your question and tweaking it to which cleveland team is most likely to win a championship and vegas says CAVS in a route.

        i dont find any of those props too appealing.

        • GrandRapidsRustlers

          Agreed…but I know that you like me really enjoyed watching Kyrie this year. The kid just has “it” no idea what the hell that even means but he is special.

      • BIKI024

        MLB does not have a problem, the fans of mid to small market teams have a problem. but this problem has been going on for years and revenue still increases year-by-year.

        • Kamov

          I think you meant this a different way, but the way it’s written I had to doublecheck we weren’t having a celebrity visit from Chris Perez.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      You raise an even more interesting and much more terrifying question:

      If the Indians leave town before exorcising Wahoo, does Wahoo’s Curse go away or is it locked in forever?

      I tend to think it’s the latter but am willing to be convinced otherwise.

      • Beeej

        What if…the fans fight to keep Wahoo and the stats and whatnot?

  • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

    Wow -

    http://deadspin.com/5938459/its-the-worst-steelers-tattoo-in-the-world

    Also, Mrs. PML finally convinced me to end my punishment of The Dark Knight Rises and go and see it even though some of it was filmed in America’s skid mark. I must say, seeing Heinz Field and everyone member of the Satans blown back to hell and all of the slack jawed yinzers they put in the crowd was rather delightful. I stand corrected and well done, Mr. Nolan. It was the stuff dreams are made of.

  • ClevelandFrowns

    Jets fan Dave at the Deadspin team preview:

    “I love Rex Ryan like a flatulent uncle and if Darrelle Revis spit in my face I’d never shower again, but pretty much every other person involved with this third-rate operation—from the shitheel Tea Party owner to the bean-counter GM to the dipshit players to the walking-afterbirth fans—should be loaded onto a rocket and fired into the sun. I have been a Jets fan my entire life, and when people ask me what team I hate the most, the only honest answer is: the fucking Jets.”

    http://deadspin.com/5938121/why-your-team-sucks-2012-new-york-jets

    • BIKI024

      you two have a lot in common

    • Believelander

      I almost had to go to the hospital after reading that.

  • GrandRapidsRustlers

    Good call Shurmur…no need for Weeden to get a few more snaps in on Thursday.

    I am on the record here as being 2 things.

    1. A fan of Weeden.
    2. Not a fan of Colt.

    There is no shame in using Colt to bring along Weeden slowly this first year. Naming Weeden the starter and then sitting him when he can get some work in is just insane.

    The good news is that this is the last camp we have to deal with Shurmur.

    • dubbythe1

      liked for the last sentence in your comment.

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      i was looking to find whether brady or rodgers or manning (x2) will play in their games… but i got busy/bored and you make the point perfectly.

      d’accord.

  • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

    Nice article on Ohio.com about Terrell Buckley:

    http://www.ohio.com/news/top-stories/ua-s-terrell-buckley-drawn-to-coaching-to-mold-men-not-just-cornerbacks-1.329537

    Except for the part about him attending Satan’s training camp. That’s quite a staff Bowden’s got at the UofA.

  • Art_Brosef

    Frownster, I have recruited at least one and possibly up to three new CBers. The sure commitment is from a certain bald headed bar manager who is increasingly excited about it……

    • http://twitter.com/JRichTCF Jeff Rich

      I’ve got one, another ex-pat like myself, that’s on board as well

  • jpftribe

    Frowns, you are scooped again by the PD:
    http://www.cleveland.com/browns/index.ssf/2012/08/cleveland_browns_and_nfl_am_li_3.html

    They just figured out the Browns may have a bad season. Of course they had to go to NFL.com for the epiphany.

  • Beeej
    • bupalos

      >>>It is — ultimately — turning the Rust Belt moniker from a pejorative to a badge of honor.”>>>

      I award them the red badge of courage instead. The first rule of cool club is don’t talk about cool club. But Roldo is in there.

      • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

        Agreed – people who do things for the cool factor are usually insufferable.

        • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

          Yeah, but won’t the people saying “I lived in Cleveland before it was cool” be worse than the cool factor people? Wouldn’t that make us all de facto hipster douchebags?

          • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

            It’s a lose/lose for all the minute you deem it cool. I was asian way before it was cool (I think it’s cool, right?), so I know how these things go.

          • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

            Great, one more thing I lose at for living in Cleveland.

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