MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: Holmgren Has Browns at “The Verge of Winning;” Haslam Passionately Pumps (SUPER BOWL PREVIEW)

by Cleveland Frowns on August 6, 2012

Who are we playing? Like it matters. You know it was a big weekend when a front page story in the Plain Dealer about how lucky we are to have Jimmy Haslam as the new Browns owner that uses a lobbyist employed by Haslam himself as its primary source gets relegated to the second page here. But first things first, per Mary Kay Cabot:

Haslam, 58, spent much of the 2 1/2-hour practice standing with Holmgren, who’s brought this team to the verge of winning, but might not get a chance to see it through.

Deliverance. Mike Holmgren has brought the Browns to the the verge of winning, I am on the verge of becoming the Bath Salts King of the Midwest (business is booming), and Cleveland.com-menter Face Ripper Monkey points out that “the nation of Zimbabwe is on the verge of a high-tech 21st century economy and per-capita GDP on par with the G8 nations.”

More from Cabot in the same piece:

Suddenly, a man walked out of the building in a Browns T-shirt and shorts.

“I’d wear what that guy’s wearing,” said one observer.

“That guy” turned out to be Haslam, who fit right in on the sidelines in his Browns garb and looked as if he’d been watching his team practice all his life. Many of the 3,175 fans in attendance were thrilled to see the new owner looking like a regular guy — just out watching some football.

. . . Haslam, a 6-3, physically fit man who never played college ball but looks like a former linebacker, chatted on the sidelines during breaks with several players, including quarterbacks Brandon Weeden and Colt McCoy, linebacker D’Qwell Jackson and running back Trent Richardson.

. . . Weeden had an exceptional practice in front of his new boss, zinging touchdown pass after touchdown pass in 7-on-7 red zone drills.

. . . After practice, Haslam had lunch with coach Pat Shurmur.

“I saw the passion in their faces,” said Shurmur of the Haslams. “I felt passion in their handshakes. . . . I told the players, don’t let anything stop the train, the train is moving.”

After the sweltering practice, Haslam and his dad hit the showers.

. . . By 1 p.m., Haslam had changed into a smart business suit with an orange Browns tie and a helmet pin on his lapel. He pointed to a Browns watch on his left wrist that he promised to put on.

He stood throughout the 25 minute[ press conference]. The standing made him look bigger and more authoritative. He spoke with passion and enthusiasm.

. . . “To me, culture is not about the uniforms or the naming rights,” he said. “Culture’s about how you come to work every day and conduct yourselves. Will we change the uniforms? I don’t know. In our business world, we changed the logo and our design or our stores multiple times over the years, but the basic culture and core beliefs — what we call our Pilot Flying J values – stay the same.”

T-shirt or business suit, helmet logo or no, the new Browns owner won’t rest until his team can stand as tall and proud as his old one.

No word at all on what the Pilot Flying J values are, or whether the showers were hit before or after lunch with Coach Shurmur, but the Pain Dealer has brought us all the way through the verge of needing to hit the (long hot) showers ourselves so maybe we’ll catch up on this tomorrow or Weds.

  • Dood

    that’s some real evenhanded journalism, plain dealer, but what did Haslam TASTE like?

    • ClevelandFrowns
    • http://twitter.com/TDDeBord David DeBord

      America. He tasted of America.

      • bupalos

        A lot of good going on here today. This might be the best.

      • Jim Bartlett

        Nice One!

    • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

      Stale beef jerky

  • GrandRapidsRustlers

    “Looks like a former linebacker”

    Welcome to Cleveland. Times are tough. Grab a Helmet.

    • humboldt

      This would put Haslem at 80% higher risk for a staph infection. Thankfully, he has good health insurance

  • 910Derp

    The Pilot Flying J Values. I just found my ff team name.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      Well prepare to be dominated by Mary Kay’s Bath Salts Bullet then. She’s a real load, as I’m sure you can imagine.

      • 910Derp

        YOLO, amirite?

  • http://twitter.com/byRiverBurns River Burns

    “BROWNS FUELED BY NEW OWNERSHIP!!!”

    • ClevelandFrowns

      BATH SALTS PASSION PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP

  • Beeej

    I thought you mined table salt, or at the very least rock salt. I don’t know if I can frequent the site of a bath salt kingpin.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      Well you’re on the motherfucking verge of doing just that, pal, so you might as well let it ride and see what happens.

      • Beeej

        Well, since you are on the verge of blowing up…Can I have a job? I could work security and fight off all the bath salt addled zombies. I’m pretty good with a shovel or other blunt instruments.

        • ClevelandFrowns

          Where we’re going it’s strictly hollow tips.

          • NeedsFoodBadly

            “…so you might as well let it ride and see what happens.”

            “Where we’re going it’s strictly hollow tips.”

            Insanely inspired today. These should all be t-shirts and unofficial mottoes for the site. The latter one will definitely get a body arrested.

          • CleveLandThatILove
          • ClevelandFrowns

            It’s inarguable that the PD has driven me to a new crazy with all this Haslam stuff, but I am writing this from a hotel in Athens with a view of the Acropolis out the window which is probably making the medicine go down smoother than usual.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Josh-Pinard/1108615484 Josh Pinard

            I would buy a “hollow tips” t-shirt. No lie.

      • Art_Brosef
        • ClevelandFrowns

          … and box cutters, in a pinch. Thanks, Brosef.

          • actovegin1armstrong

            Frownie,
            Thank you for the visual.
            I hope you enjoy the land of my heros. (The philosophy guys.)
            I hope that you also get to explore at least a couple of dozen islands in the Aegean.
            I spent a month there when I was a dum 20-something.
            The most beautiful islands in the world.

  • Bryan

    One of the under-reported stories here is how genuinely fired up Holmgren is. This is a man on the verge of losing his job with the Browns (either immediately or at the end of the season), yet he is walking around like he is on top of the world.

    What can we infer from this odd behavior? He is happy to be leaving the Browns behind. He knows that his tenure has been a failure to date, and he knows that the future is uncertain. The fact that he can now leave, take credit for any future success, and blame any future failings on Banner is as perfect as it gets for him.

    Poor Big Ol’ Mike an Old Fashioned and light up a Menthol 100. Its time for him to party.

    • technivore

      Great point. There’s no downside whatsoever for Holgrem here. But while that definitely rankles for the likes of us mere fans, that’s neither here nor there for the actual future of the team.

      So but while Haslam might not be the guy I want at my next game of beach volleyball, at least I’m not worried that he’ll be letting Bob Lamonte run the show. So yeah the PDs coverage of this situation is typically embarrassing but you can’t deny that going forward the team will have a person at the top whose fortunes are tied to the team’s record, rather than a guy who skates off with millions no matter how shitty the product is. Incentives matter. (cue kanicki here, I think he’d agree.)

      • BIKI024

        so Randy Lerner has no incentive of making sure his money was invested wisely? Mike Holmgren has no incentive of his legacy being tarnished with this opportunity?

        i guess we’ll find out soon enough which direction the team is headed in, it seems to me we finally have some above-average talent at several key positions. of course the depth isn’t fully there yet, particularly with the injuries and suspensions we’ve already been hit with, but it seems there is a general consensus that the overall talent-level is as high as it’s been since the Browns have been back. so let’s see if the players execute and let the coaches coach them up.

        • technivore

          I think Randy’s relationship to the team, having inherited it from his dad, was quite different from Haslam’s, who’s purchasing it. Well plus it seems like Randy’s #1 desire is to just not have people be disappointed in him, which is a far cry from building a huge business empire and translating that into enormous political power and an NFL team.

          As for Holmgren, a “tarnished legacy” doesn’t seem to be much incentive for him, since he pretty clearly is a raging egomaniac who lacks the capacity for self doubt or the ability to conceive of such a thing as a tarnished legacy for himself.

          • BIKI024

            “clearly is a raging egomaniac who lacks the capacity for self doubt or the ability to conceive of such a thing as a tarnished legacy for himself”

            and you deduce this from how many hours of professional psychological evaluations? or do you come to that conclusion simply by the way a guy smokes a cigarette and drinks a daiquiri at the same time?

          • technivore

            I have a BS in Internet Psychology.

    • NeedsFoodBadly

      Dude’s still gonna get paid, either way. What’s not to like (for him)?

    • BIKI024

      where has Holmgren demonstrated that “he is walking around like he is on top of the world?” i have watched every second of every presser any member of the Browns organization has done and you don’t get that feeling at all about Holmgren, he is staying very humble and relatively soft-spoken. check the tape or it didn’t happen.

      • Bryan

        I should re-phrase: he appears oddly “relaxed” for a man about to lose his job. I have watched all of the pressers. The dude is not upset or stressed in any way. I don’t see how this is even controversial. As I outlined above, he is in a no-lose situation now. He should be relaxed.

        • BIKI024

          he’s a professional, why would he appear upset or stressed out in public? he’s doing what most successful people would do when you getting a boss, “act as if”

          • Petefranklin

            I think he’s acting more like a guy with a 4 plus 7 digits in the bank. What me worry?

          • actovegin1armstrong

            Alfred E. Newman syndrome is the official moniker Mr Franklin.

          • Petefranklin

            Nahh, 30 years from now people will still know who Alfred E Newman is!

        • Atdietz80

          Holmgren is loving life because the parole board just commuted his sentence to time-served. Plus he gets all the money he’s owed. His involvement was always more about the money than the power. He had to be convinced by duffel bags of dead presidents to take this job. Throwing money is Randy’s modus operandi for dealing with life’s problems.

  • maxfnmloans

    You’re killing my buzz, man. Ding! Dong! the worst ownership in Cleveland history (apologies to Modell and Stepien) is dead! This is a time for celebration.

    Who cares about the Plain Dealer? They haven’t been relevant since Gary Dee.

    • Petefranklin

      Please elaborate, I will not stand for “deep pockets” to be called worst. It just isn’t true, Nick mileti and Dolan come to mind first, there are others too. At least RL didn’t pinch every penny out of us fans to make sure he filled his bank account.

      • maxfnmloans

        i have been programmed by ESPN to believe everything “now” is faster/better/more important. If you disagree with my brainwashing, please contact Bristol

  • http://twitter.com/byRiverBurns River Burns

    I am strongly encouraging the bean counters at Solar City to put in a competitive bid for naming rights on the former Factory of Sadness…if only for the sake of this site, and proper regulation of bath salts in Summit and Cuyahoga counties.

    • Beeej

      Do you think we could start a public collection to name the stadium “The Factory of Sadness?” or “The Pilot Flying J Factory of Sadness?” or “The Factory of Sadness brought to you by The Pilot Flying J Values?” Does anyone know how to get a Kickstarter going?

  • p_forever

    i am SO happy about this – “the standing made him look bigger and more authoritative” – it is EXACTLY why i only lawyer in high heels. it’s standing plus.

    • http://twitter.com/TDDeBord David DeBord

      Agreed. High heels is the only way to lawyer. Despite the odd looks I get from clients sometimes.

    • actovegin1armstrong

      Brilliant move p_4,
      I am certain that you are a superstar no matter how high your heels.
      Start lining up the “COOL IT” demands.
      Powerful p_4 waxing wisely in exaggerated heels….
      I am about to get a Biki Ban.

      • p_forever

        it’s silly that such things work in my line of work, but they do. there’s a ridiculous amount of old boys club showmanship, and i’m not an old boy, and i’m not going to pretend to be one, so i have to lead with my other, non-old boy strengths. i’m tall already, and according to the studies tallness really does bestow the perception of authority, so i figured i’d go with that.

        but also yes. it’s true that i super love my shoes. win win :)

  • http://twitter.com/TDDeBord David DeBord

    I want the O/U set on two things: (1) how many times Frowns has used that pic of Mike H. and (2) how many times he will use it in the coming football season. I’m sure there is a number high enough that I would take the U, but I don’t know what it is.

  • nj0

    From pilotflyingj.com..

    “We believe in developing meaningful relationships with and investing in local and regional non-profit and charitable organizations whose missions and work aligns with our values and priorities.

    Our corporate priorities are education, healthcare and recreation, social services, economic development and arts and culture. Through contributions in these five areas, our goal is to leave our community better than we found it.”

    Still no word on the values though.

    Odd that healthcare and recreation get lumped together.

    • humboldt

      Why am I reminded of the “business ethics” scene from Billy Madison? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV9xFtchPts

      • nj0

        I just noticed that the statement refers to “investing” in “nonprofit and charitable organizations”.

        invest – v. to put (money) to use, by purchase or expenditure, in something offering potential profitable returns, as interest, income, or appreciation in value.

        Something ain’t right there.

  • wiseoldredbeard

    Did anyone happen to catch this gem:

    “Q: Hey, Mary Kay: Is there any way to get Joe Banner’s phone number? I’d like to call him about playoff tickets. — Roger Neiswander, Chardon

    A: Hey, Roger: Let me get mine first and then I’ll give you the number.”

    Clearly, this article is step one in her trip to having playoff tickets!!!!

    Kidding aside, I watched the presser live and loved that he stood through the whole thing. I aso loved that he wore Browns gear to watch practice instead of a suit. The guy seems seriously energetic and excited about the franchise, which is a welcome change from the past. So, although I agree MKK goes way overboard in her enthusiasm, I also have to agree that this is an exciting time for the Browns. Honestly, who disagrees?!?

    • nj0

      I’m seriously torn. Clearly this guy cares. He seems to be the exact opposite of Lerner. But paid lobbyists touting his character? Clear political influence with a big energy agenda? Good thing cheering for Chief Wahoo has kept my rationalization skills sharp.

      • wiseoldredbeard

        Would you expect a paid lobbyist not to tout his character? That error goes to MKC for asking in the first place. As for his “political influence” — he’s a billionaire, of course he has influence. And the fact that he is a republican with a “big energy agenda,” come on. What does that have to do with anything? Only pushers of green technology should get to own sports teams?

        • humboldt

          It means we have a moral idiot as an owner, which makes it difficult to be overly excited about his acquisition of our beloved public good.

          • wiseoldredbeard

            A “moral idiot”? Because he sells diesel to truckers? Good grief. Given your position, should I assume that you neither drive nor use gasoline, and that you would prefer that there were no gas stations nationwide? Or, is it that you like to use things like gasoline personally, but prefer to belly ache at people that profit off of your use of gasoline in order to make yourself feel better? Your point is nothing more than Bill O’Rielly logic: 1) I don’t like something; 2) I call it stupid; 3) if you disagree, you are morally void and an idiot.

          • ClevelandFrowns

            Humbolt is sorry that he wasn’t more clear: Either a moral idiot or pure evil, it’s one or the other.

            http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/global-warmings-terrifying-new-math-20120719

          • ClevelandFrowns

            Where’s bup? #teamwheresbup

          • wiseoldredbeard

            It’s a good thing the Frownie mobile runs on his flatulence so that no one can suggest that his own driving back and forth to Akron is a contributing cause to global warming, which would of course make him “pure evil.”

          • ClevelandFrowns

            Bloody choices. Stop being an asshole or I’ll have to really break it down for everyone.

            Also, Frownmobile is one word.

          • humboldt

            Well, actually I walk and bike to work, don’t own a car, and don’t use air conditioning, so there’s that. But this obviously isn’t about me, so let’s stick to debating the issue, ok?

            Haslem is a neoliberal who seeks to maximize revenue, regardless of the obvious externalities his products create. He has made a fortune exploiting a scarce resource whose overuse is actively contributing to making our world a more dangerous place. To his credit, he has done it well, but it’s only reasonable to question whether he has any sense of personal ethic beyond maximizing revenue (see above discussion about the phantom “values” of his company).

            Besides, I’m not just drawing my opinion from his business background. Read the profile in the PD. If the reporting is to be believed, this guy is a genuine sociopath (as most good CEOs are, by the way) who bullies and intimidates subordinates and demands that injured players in pickup volleyball games be dragged off the court so play can resume. His lobbyist unironically cites this as personal virtue in the PD article. Remarkable.

            Basically, Haslem stands for everything I dislike and oppose…and now he owns a football team that I absolutely love. Even if you disagree with my worldview, I’m sure you understand why that would make me and others frustrated with the situation?

          • wiseoldredbeard

            You are free to dislike him all you want, and I can certainly understand why it would annoy you to have someone own the Browns that stands for everything you are against. My problem is with catagorizing someone that you don’t know as a “moral idiot” or “sociopath” because you disagree with their politics. Btw, I am impressed that you never use a car. That is no easy feat. (Seriously)

          • bupalos

            >>>>driving back and forth to Akron is a contributing cause to global warming, which would of course make him “pure evil.”>>>

            While it’s obviously great for individuals to try and help all they can on the individual level, it’s ridiculous to consider tiny individual errors of omission in the same universe as the folks who actively create, defend, bolster, and rig the system that forces all the individual choices to bad and worse, while making all the resulting money flow uphill.

            You’re mouthing old bad arguments. If you’re not completely pure and clean as the driven snow, you have no business scowling at someone who drops a dump truck of shit on you or makes your kids drink MTBE? I hear that a lot nowadays, and it’s nonsense on the order of “did you see that skirt, she deserved to get raped.”
            cf. Magnitude: orders of:

            By the way, these folks have the flip side of this argument down too, and I hear an echo there in your “moral superiority” riff. If you ARE pure and clean as the driven snow, congratulations, we’re impressed, but you’re clearly a freak who’s primarily interested in making everyone else look bad, and so why would we listen to your kind anyway?

            The new ownership presents some problem for my fandom, but that will only be to the degree that it contaminates the fan base with nonsense. If this guy doesn’t use this as a supporting acquisition for FlyingJPilot/Chesapeake/prosperity gospel and really does just want a fire-walled play-toy, then I’m fine with it. That’s not my expectation though.

          • wiseoldredbeard

            Oh, I see — people who sell gasoline are “moral idiots.” That makes total sense. Should I assume that you neither drive nor use gasoline, nor purchase products that are shipped around the country on trucks? Let me guess, you also hate coal, and never use your air conditioner at your home? You are definitely morally superior to me.

            Can we actually have some actual examples of his “moral idio[cy]“?

          • ClevelandFrowns
          • NeedsFoodBadly

            I found this video of Jimmy Haslam which might illuminate the situation.

            He would seem less sinister if he’d quit yelling “Everybody’s got a price!” then cackling madly.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ne-z_0Ev_Q0

          • nj0

            Now more than ever Cleveland needs the Megapowers.

          • bupalos

            >>>Can we actually have some actual examples of his “moral idio[cy]“?>>>

            I don’t know if this guy is personally better or worse than a lot of people as regards his basic intelligence and ratio of good to bad intentions. But by the fact of his position and the things that he either lies about or has convinced himself of, I’d consider him in the top 1000 of the worst people on earth.

            An small but concrete example of this moral idiocy would be investing $300,000,000 to provide the infrastructure for the most deceitful and damaging form of fossil fuel this side of the tar sands. And then actively lobbying for it to be developed in the least regulated, most regressive, most damaging way.

            Anyone who at this point seeks to lower the cost of fossil fuel use, encourage growth in fossil fuel consumption, dump the costs on society at large, pay people to obscure the effects thereof, and enrich themselves beyond already unimaginable wealth thereby is really honestly objectively quite a bit worse than a Nazi vampire.

            This of course, is at least partially based on accepting the verdict of the massive supermajority of of climate scientists. If you go with the tiny slice of folks that get paid by guys like Haslam, then the equation changes and he’s not nearly such a historically bad figure.

        • nj0

          “Only pushers of green technology should get to own sports teams?”

          Where did I say that? He can own whatever he wants.

          I’m speaking about my own personal investment in the team. I realize this sort of thing doesn’t bother most, but it does me. I care a great deal about who and what I associate myself with, both in terms of dollars spent and time/ interest.

          • BIKI024

            so who’s your new football team? do you audit each and every investment made by the ownership group of all teams you root for?

          • nj0

            Packers seem the obvious choice.

        • nj0

          And to be clear, I’m not as bothered by his ownership of gas stations as I am about his political contributions. I’m not sure of your politics, but if the new owner had given hundred of thousands of dollars to people who support policies you completely disagree with and find morally wrong, would that bother you? Could you just ignore it? Might you not be torn?

          It may be too much to ask for an owner who is apolitical, but that fact doesn’t negate how Haslam makes me feel.

          • wiseoldredbeard

            That is fair, and I’m glad for the clarification. The political issue is very complicated, particularly given that I think it is really important that people get to say whatever they want, whether I like or agree with it or not.

          • nj0

            Yeah, I don’t begrudge Haslam his right and ability to contribute to and support various polticians.

            Even if a hypothetical owner was somebody I agreed with politically, I’d probably feel the same way if they were very clearly involved in the supporting a party and specific candidates. Sure, that’s their right,but it just sucks cause there is nothing more annoying, depressing, and polarizing than politics and real world bullshit. Browns football should not be polarizing. Right or left, you shouldn’t have to think about that come Sunday. That team should be associated with one thing- the City of Cleveland. Shame the league has that BS Packers rule.

          • wiseoldredbeard

            Hard to disagree with this point. Although, I haven’t (yet) heard him say anything polarizing, and I hope he doesn’t. I’m going to stick to judging his ownership by the product until I have reason to do otherwise (like he goes on a rant about gay marriage). That said, I was excited by his excitement, and reiterating what I said in the post that started this whole debate, I think it’s an exciting time for the Browns…

          • technivore

            My personal feeling on this point is that the divisions between Americans caused by politics are a much bigger danger to this country than the specific policies being forwarded by either party. Not to say I don’t disagree with much of the platform of a certain party — I definitely do — but that at this point I consider it a moral imperative to look past those disagreements for common ground. So I’m going to focus on what Haslam and I have in common (the desire for the Browns to go out and kick some f***ing ass) rather than let even something so uncomplicated as my fandom of the Browns become tainted by today’s political battles.

          • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

            … divisions between Americans caused by politics are a much bigger danger to this country than the specific policies being forwarded by either party.

            zillion like buttons and corgi puppies.

          • ClevelandFrowns

            “My personal feeling on this point is that the divisions between Americans caused by politics are a much bigger danger to this country than the specific policies being forwarded by either party.”

            What do you suppose it is that’s causing these dangerous divisions, then?

          • NeedsFoodBadly

            I think we can all agree that corgi puppies are the last, best hope to unite this nation. If you don’t agree with that, I don’t want to know you.

          • Kamov

            How can you say that? Corgi puppies are the primary threat to this nation and our continued existence. The terrifying sight of their charging horde was the last thing this cameraman saw. Corgi puppies must be contained and controlled before it is too late for us all!

          • actovegin1armstrong

            I like Frownie’s question. There is no way to separate them.
            Sort of a chicken/egg thing.
            I celebrate the dangerous divisions that exist between me and people like Haslam.

            Although to be certain; there had to be an egg before any chicken, unless you believe that the fossils were planted to trick us and the earth is 4500 years old.

          • manc

            I could give a pigs’ ass about any owners’ political views. Unless he’s, you know, some kind of Nazi vampire or communist.

            Haslam should leave the unis alone though. The best marketing program for the team is winning. If the Browns ever got consistently good, you’d see a huge bandwagon effect; fans love old school stuff.

          • actovegin1armstrong

            It makes sense njo, we should all convert over to being Packer’s fans, (well except for the people who do not eat meat, Packers is in reference to slaughterhouses in Green Bay).
            I am going to get rid of all my brown and orange wear and buy green and yellow.

            It will work well, yellow will blend with my jaundiced skin and green shall match my teeth.
            GO PACKERS!!

      • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

        i thought the guy was a fraternity brother who also is a lobbyist (for him and others). thus he’s known haslmon for 40 odd years and can speak to his character and such as?

        (dont make me read that article again. wont do it.)

        • nj0

          Yeah, sounds like they were frat bros. Doesn’t mean he’s known him for 40 years though, just at least 40 years ago when they were brothers.

          Also it doesn’t negate the fact that he’s a paid lobbyist. Seriously, couldn’t MKC find somebody not on the payroll to say something nice about him?

    • humboldt

      “The guy seems seriously energetic and excited about [his asset]”

      /fixed

      Let’s not labor under the misapprehension that he cares about Cleveland or our tradition; in fact, he will spend the next few months calculating just how much he can attenuate our traditions in order to maximize the marketing potential of his new asset.

      I was originally excited to get some new energy in Berea, but the more I learn about Haslem the less sanguine I feel about his reign.

      • BIKI024

        i think it’s clear that he feels like winning is the key part of tradition he wants to maximize and is the driver in generating sustainable growth.

        besides, it’s not like he’s the one that is initiating ads on jerseys, etc and it’s not like the Browns are the only franchise who would be potentially changing uniform schemes/logos, etc.

      • technivore

        Wait, what “traditions”? Other than the orange helmet, I can’t think of a tradition more associated with the Browns than losing. Haslam can attenuate the hell out of that one as far as I’m concerned.

        I don’t see what there is to be worried about here, in that [his asset] is worth more if they win than if they lose, we all agree on this right? Seems like his interests and those of the fans are pretty well aligned.

        • ClevelandFrowns

          “Other than the orange helmet …”

          UM.

          • technivore

            Not sure what I’m missing here.

          • ClevelandFrowns

            Nothing yet, technically, but if you fuck with the orange helmet I can’t make any promises.

    • rgrunds

      Is there anyone I can pay so I don’t have to go to an Indians game?

      • CleveLandThatILove

        That would be me.

        • ClevelandFrowns

          You better come to the Aeros game on Thurs, K.

          • CleveLandThatILove

            Will there be hijinks and monkey business?

          • rgrunds

            You mean like in libido fun?

          • ClevelandFrowns

            Sugar water and mayonnaise sandwiches.

          • actovegin1armstrong

            Please regale us with the tales of hi-jinks and monkey business.

          • CleveLandThatILove

            Let me see if I can reschedule something.

            Oh, and I need to make sure my shots are up to date.

          • rgrunds

            ha HA. That is hilarious. Make sure FrOrange is inoculated too. I think he got Anthrax from a prior inter-species indiscretion. The downside of a foreign junket.

      • ClevelandFrowns

        AEROS. We’re going to the Aeros game this week. It’s tradition. http://www.waitingfornextyear.com/2012/08/wfny-night-at-the-akron-aeros/

    • Petefranklin

      As long as he doesn’t start getting facelifts and start saying ” how bout them Browns!” I guess I’m down. His presser was pretty impressive, he came off as genuine to me even though a billionaire has to be full of shit. If he pays for the repairs to CBS himself he’s instantly our savior.

      • Beeej

        “If he pays for the repairs to CBS himself he’s instantly our savior.”

        CBS is terrible. It is like watching the films from my high school football games.

        • Petefranklin

          It means that he is not chasing bucks from Cleveland and Browns fans, therefore insuring better times ahead at CBS. CBS is lame compared to it’s predecessor, but I never got a bald head massage from a couple hotties when my wife went to the john at the old stadium, so it has that going for it in my book.

  • rgrunds

    OT. I was just listening to Dennis Manoloff being interviewed on 92.3. His clunky, apoplectic style is like listening to some pre-Tourette’s version of Popeye. I had to shut him off. Only in Cleveland…..

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki
      • rgrunds

        I think FrOrange would make a very good Corgi puppy.

  • DaddyBulldog

    Oye vey. That’s bad stuff by Mary Kay. Selling ads and buying access and all. Not quite as bad as Mangini’s personnel decisions, but bad. I read this site once and awhile if I am in the mood to find myself bemused and angered by the continued lust for Eric Mangini. EVERYTHING HERE, aside from the Gilbert hate and Wahoo curse, IS THROUGH THE MANGINI-AS-GOD LENS. Is there a more played narrative? It’s like a My Two Dads sportswriting sitcom formula. Does anyone remember that 2009 draft and FA period which Mangini (and Kokinis?) guided us through? Makes Mary Kay’s work here look studied. What about the 1-11 start followed by four wins over unmotivated opponents. The two wins over the Saints and the Patriots were thrilling, but were bookended by an awful start and awful end.

    Look, Shurmur’s an idiot, but that doesn’t make Mangini a deity. Move on already.

    • rodofdisaster

      Shurmur being an idiot has nothing to do with Mangini. Yes, the 2009 draft was a dud but there were fortunate personnel moves that year. 26 guys were cut off of the roster only two of whom where in the league the following season. Secondly, he cleared 11 million dollars in cap room and saved millions by passing on Mark Sanchez garnering the valuable Alex Mack in the process. The cap was in much better shape after 2009.

      Mangini may not have impressed you but the Jets’ personnel moves with him were dramatically successful as opposed to their moves without him.

      You can say what you want about the former coach but there are some irrefutable facts about his production. I’d rather not spend any more time on it but here are two:

      1) He’s beaten Belichick convincingly in Foxboro in prime time as well as in Cleveland with a far less talented team. The run of games that you mention in 2010 vs New Orleans, New England and the loss to the Jets was tremendously impressive not because of wins and losses but rather because of the toughness and competitiveness of the team. Despite the poor finish to that season, they were a tough out.

      2) He had two of three seasons that were winners in NY and there is a clear correlate between his record and having a legit QB. That’s the NFL. Can’t win without one.

      I won’t sit here and argue that the Cleveland years for Mangini were a success because at the end of the day, his record was 10-22. He’s a remarkably bright football coach if you believe the ESPN commentary or if you’ve read the book “War Room” wherein the author describes how Mangini was the one voice in the room who would debate Belichick on X’s and O’s.

      People here tend to be more positive about him but I think that’s more because he started 2009 with one set of expectations for his job performance and it wasn’t even the bye week before his GM was shown the door and the 5-year plan became a “win now with a crap roster” scenario. There’s a lot of sympathy from anyone who’s had that done to them. He was mistreated by Lerner and Holmgren strung him along as a fall guy. No one is calling him a deity except you.

      • rgrunds

        Yeah. Did you guys hear that? Shape up. Mangini set the foundation for an organizational turnaround. Lerner didn’t recognize that Mangini needed another 3 years after the first two.

  • actovegin1armstrong

    I think what Bupa thinks.
    I hope that the frigging frackers did not get him.

    • rgrunds

      Well, I think what Rod thinks.

      • bupalos

        Well rod thinks what Acto thinks.

  • rgrunds

    FrOrange. You deleted Rod’s post. You also deleted my response to his post.

    What are you doing?

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