The Fourth Annual Cheddar Bay Reality Football Pickstravaganza Kicks Off Next Week

by Cleveland Frowns on August 24, 2012

The fourth iteration of the world’s first, only and most phenomenal football picking competition with a weekly writing requirement; the world’s first and only football picking competition that’s officially sponsored by Red Lobster seafood restaurants; the world’s best evidence that there is art, science and wizardry to football picking kicks off next week with Week 1 of the college football season.

The contest, as always, is open to everyone. For the uninitiated, the basic rules are here, and note: If you can’t come up with a well reasoned 100-word narrative to explain just one of your football picks, you shouldn’t be wagering on football games anyway. Last season, $3,400 in prize money was up for grabs, and this year’s edition will naturally be bigger and better than ever, with new luxurious prizes, and some new rules to enhance the competition and its usefulness, including a weekly game of the week that all contestants will be required to pick.

We’ll be back with more specifics next week. In the meantime, enjoy some vanilla preseason football and the last real weekend of the summer. Just two more weeks until all the rules go out the window.

  • ClevelandFrowns
  • p_forever

    yay for cheddar bay and the very best sort of gambling that there is. also get out of the way – those prizes are MINE. (except i will gladly share with CLTIL, and anyone else that has a crush on aaron rodgers.)

    also: i vote that because acto is going to be so insufferable wrt lance armstrong today, that we all just side with him now about greg lemond being the greatest american cyclist ever, and that everything is right and just with the world now that lance’s titles have been stripped away.

    • CleveLandThatILove

      YES, and please Frowns make those luxurious prizes available early so p_forever and I can toast each other properly every week, thanks so much.

    • acto

      p_4, my phone has been on fire. I was against this chump since the first time he got caught way back in 1987.
      Although, Major Taylor was the greatest cyclist from the USA, Greg was #2.

      • Hopwin

        Lance Armstrong is the biggest scumbag to ever walk the face of the Earth.

        • actovegin1armstrong

          An absolutely uncountable number of likes to you Hopwin.
          From the Contador cancer, to Sheryl Crow’s cancer, to his “I have never failed a drug test”, when he failed at least 11 the 1999 Tour alone, he is the most self serving, dishonest person I have ever known .

          • ClevelandFrowns
          • actovegin1armstrong

            Thank you Frownie,
            I get so tired of the “he never failed a drug test” bullshit. He failed a bunch of drug tests.
            (By the way Marion Jones never failed a drug test.)

            Some of the things people seem to have forgotten is that he did test positive for testosterone in 1999, both A and B sample.
            His team immediately produced a prescription for a “cream to treat saddle sores” that contained testosterone.
            It was then swept under the rug even though the prescription was written after he failed the test.
            He got caught with Actovegin in his bag. (Bovine synthetic hemoglobin)

            Once a test for EPO was developed his remaining 10 samples from the 1999 Tour all tested positive.

            Lance purchased a beautiful house in France. Most US pros stay in Europe. The reason he never moved into his expensive home in France and commuted to races is because in France, Italy, or Belgium they will raid your house and bust you.
            In the USA you are innocent if proven popular.

          • rodofdisaster

            I don’t know that I “know” the guy any more than I know any other athlete but I find it interesting how many former teammates will come out of the woodwork to nail this guy.

            Mark my words, he will become the next lightning rod for “You’re un-American if…”

          • actovegin1armstrong

            Rod’o,
            If that is the definition then I have been un-American since 1987.
            I can not understand why people defend this horrible person.
            It is always the people who are not “in the know” who protest the loudest.
            Way back in 93′ I had a guy who had obviously never been in a fight before in his life start a fight with me because I was telling the truth about his hero.
            It was about three seconds he will never forget and for no good reason.

          • CleveLandThatILove

            At last, we’ve cracked the code that is your screen name. Or he cracked it for us, right? Millions for cancer research, it’s more than I’ve brought, so I guess there’s that.

          • acto

            Frownie looked up Actovegin long ago.
            “Millions for cancer research” and at least 4 friends and teammates with same mysterious cancer from being on his doping regimine.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki
  • GrandRapidsRustlers

    I guess this pretty much settles this argument for all time.

    I don’t see any Kelly Holcomb bottles do you?

    • Beeej

      Mad Dog 20/20 is coming out with a bottle. While orange seems to be the obvious choice, early reports have it as grape flavored.

      • GrandRapidsRustlers

        I smell a photoshop coming…

        • Beeej

          We could have a quarterback for every flavor.

  • clay

    Cheddar Bay + Maker’s !!!!!!

    Excuse me, I will be down in the dungeon breaking down Sun Belt and MAC video for the next 7 days.

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      sun belt got a lot tougher this year now that the weekly gimme has retired.

      • clay

        How you think Akron going to do with Bowden? Do you see an Ohio U type turn around? Solich got them Bobcats looking good.

        • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

          I think what FSOZac thinks when it comes to MACtion.

          • clay

            I think what FSOZac thinks when it comes to sub sandwiches.

        • BIKI024

          well Bowden’s sights aren’t set too high, he set the goal at 2 wins. (the total the Zips have won in 2 seasons!)

          • ClevelandFrowns

            This is a Cheddar Bay thread, Biki. Ballers only.

          • BIKI024

            Geeks only?

          • bupalos

            Yeah I just remembered Biki was supposed to be dead to me for the entire past year. The head-fake he did at last year’s iteration of The Contest was worse than nothing.

          • CleveLandThatILove

            Biki, come do it this year, you would make it more interesting!

  • dubbythe1

    If anyone can knuckle down and break Wahoo’s hold on the Browns, it is Phil Dawson.

    If anyone does have healing laser beams, its Phil Dawson.

    If anyone gives us a reason to be proud to be a[n expansion] Browns fan, its Phil Dawson!

    PHIL EFFIN DAWSON!!!

    http://www.foxsportsohio.com/08/23/12/A-conversation-with-Clevelands-Phil-Daws/landing_browns.html?blockID=779735&feedID=3725

    • vespo09

      Haha this is awesome. “No happy music?” “Noooooo.”

  • ClevelandFrowns

    So uh hey guys, the Cleveland Browns.

    • Kamov

      I like it when Bernie does commentary. It is the only good thing about the preseason.

    • dubbythe1

      Fuck.

  • Hopwin

    Anyone else hear Haslem 3rd quarter, 10:53 left?

    In two to three years hopefully we will have a team as talented as the Philadelphia Eagles.

    Rookie mistake Jimmy, rookie mistake.

    • rodofdisaster

      I heard that and thought that it was ill-advised. After all, when he cans the current crew no later than the end of this season, we’re looking at hitting the reset button. Again.

      That’s a lot of patience to ask for and goodwill that Jimmy hasn’t built up yet himself.

  • CleveLandThatILove

    Not vanilla, tofu. Vanilla is an actual flavoring that adds deliciousness.

    • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

      Well they have Mike Vick and we don’t.

      • CleveLandThatILove

        So are you spared out there, or did they beam the bean curd all the way to the left coast?

        Can you fit Cheddar Bay-ness in this year? Yes, say yes. Or get on Twitter for real time Browns game angst.

        • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

          I made an attempt to watch online and quickly realized the egregious error I had made. I don’t have answer to either just yet – that’s an awful lot of critical thinking.

  • Warburton MacKinnon

    Hey gotta love the fact that the annointed one Weeden vs the forgotten one Mcoy still gets almost no play anywhere. In general you guys are kinda knowledgable on football. So I wonder about a few things,one if Mcoy had come in as the #1 and starter in his first season(even if injured as has been suggested of late),and gotten the fist QB reps over the last two years where would he be developmentaly? Let’s not even get into weapons,remember year 1 he was 3rd string and supposed to sit,year 2 he had a competition with Wallace(whom was signed to almost starter money to mentor and teach the west coast offense and be able to play in the system off the bench)..Wallace of all people,anyway 2 years and not once in preseason given starters reps..so was always behind the 8-ball.

    Yet,Mcoy and T.Lewis seem to be the only quality QB’s we have and they play that way. I also wonder still how much of the injury fiasco/cutting loose Hillis was based upon the fact Heckart had drafted the bust Hard(not)esty,remember when Hillis was healthy Shurmer split his playing time with Harmlessy(better nick I think than my first choice)..and seemingly said he wasn’t sick or injured when he(Hillis) was. I also know that although people in town love D’Qwell,he really didn’t deserve his extension based on play(since he really didn’t play for 2 damn years),how about Gocong..what did he really do to deserve his,except being a Heckert guy? I will give you Rubin..but you know like the other two he keeps his mouth shut and toe’s the company line. E. Moore fan favorite but again didn’t deserve an extension based on play. The three left out in the cold,DawsonHillis,and Cribbs…..Hillis was run out of town,Dawson was and after thought,and just as Cribbs was proven to be a force has now watched his time be reduced(and has also been said to be in decline,and on the back nine of his career),he seems to be becoming this years Hillis..he can play and wants to play,yet won’t be even though like Dawson he is one of the best. Unlike Dawson whom they know they can’t replace they think they can replace Cribbs. Also I love in general Heckerts D picks,his O picks suck and are it seems injury prone,or just injuries waiting to happen.

    Still GO BROWNS…damn we need help,Haslam don’t fail us now.

    • rodofdisaster

      I think McCoy’s would be a bit ahead of where he is now ONLY if they had not been locked out last offseason. Learning a whole new offense with a lot of verbiage is difficult and he basically taught himself what he could. He didn’t have the benefit of meeting with the coaches or practices or anything like that. He showed up the first day and they had preseason games the next week.

      On the physical side of things, I think that this story coming out about Dr. James Andrews telling Colt that his arm strength might take two to three years to fully return might have some traction. Medically speaking, I could see that.

      I think that the evolution and degradation of Colt McCoy also tells us something about Seneca Wallace. Here’s a guy who never publicly supported the guy who beat him out for the starting job and now, all of a sudden, is the willing mentor to Weeden?

      As an aside, did anyone see what MKC wrote in her report on last night’s game? Basically downplaying Colt’s success as he “continued to excel against defenses with players low in the depth charts”. Gee whiz, Colt McCoy must’ve pissed in the media water cooler or something.

      • Warburton MacKinnon

        Thanks for the thoughtfull response,and Yeah I saw that dreck from MKC,wow, never thought I’d want Grossi back…but even that blind squirrel occasionally got a nut. Also during the last season I don’t think Shurmer ever helped Mcoy improve…he was actually better self taught at the start of the season than after being coached.

  • rodofdisaster

    When they said the third preseason game is typically the dress rehearsal, I figured it was that way for the fans as well. Again, not dwelling on stats or scores but what I liked and didn’t like.

    Likes:

    1) Weeden’s arm strength. Throws a nice tight ball and his first throw of the night to Gordon was simply major league. Deep down the far sideline. More later…

    2) Adonis Thomas. This kid has some nice speed, agility and balance. Converted a third an long receiving after spinning off of some tackles. Plays special teams. If I am Montario Hardesty, I’m worried about a roster spot. Then again, he and the owner both went to Tennessee, so perhaps he’s safe. I just don’t see Thomas being safe on the practice squad.

    3) Defensive line. OK, I would have liked to have seen a QB sack BUT they did pressure Foles and Edwards. Juqua Parker stood out and Winn had a couple of nice disruptions in the middle. While I am seeing Brian Sanford as a longshot to make the club I still see him hustling. He was in on a few tackles and was bringing down the QB when the pick six was nullified by JMJ’s roughing the passer penalty.

    4) Josh Gordon. In preseason week #1, it seemed like all of the newcomers at receiver were bright spots but Gordon was the only one last night. His ability to play the ball while covered was evident.

    5) Trevin Wade. I wanted to like him more than I did but in the end he looked reasonably solid. Due to his size and physical nature, I imagine there will be a role for him as nickel CB. Of course, Skrine and Patterson will have something to say about this but Wade strikes me as a better tackler than the other two.

    6) Kickoff coverage. While I have seen the special teams bashed in several articles so far, I don’t think we can blanket that. For the most part, the kickoff coverage was good. Punt team, another story.

    7) McCoy: Finding no one open, McCoy used his feet. He had a memorable play where he eluded several would be tacklers and that simply awareness and athleticism that you can’t teach. He sold out diving head first for first downs. In front of a regular season crowd, that gets you cheers and hearts beyond belief. He continued an efficient preseason with a TD pass and a nice throw to Windsor. I’m not going to sit here and tell you McCoy should start over Weeden but if they’re smart, the Browns will stop deluding themselves into believing that Seneca Wallace is their best second option.

    Things I disliked:

    1) Other things Weeden: He fumbled twice and in both instances he was holding the ball down around his waist. That’s just wrong. The ball needs to be up by the shoulder/chin level. As long as I am criticizing his mechanics, his footwork is not nearly as smooth as McCoy’s. I don’t want to hear any more about Weeden’s accuracy. He’s not especially accurate on the short throws and had he completed the one pass to Gordon between the CB and S, Gordon would be in the hospital. I pointed it out after the draft but Weeden is going to be a liability under duress and we haven’t seen anything compared to what we’ll see in the regular season. A lot of guys can make throws when they’re not under pressure. It’s what you do when you’re off balance or can’t generate a perfect delivery that defines you as an NFL QB. Weeden is in love with his arm and yes, he made some throws into tight spaces. Those were not good judgments. He was just lucky. He stared down receivers often which is why there were frequently three defenders by the receivers.

    2) Seneca Wallace. Aside from the fact that this guy comes in and throws a pick to a guy who’ll be driving a bus next month, I can’t get over the Cheshire cat grin this guy had taking the field. It’s almost as if he knows he’s here to stay and Uncle Mikey will take care of him.

    3)Mitchell Schwartz. OK, I could easily have put him into the “like” category for a number of nice plays he had but I’m starting to notice a weakness to his inside gap. Even on running plays where they were zone blocking left, he gave up his inside gap. He was beaten by the speed rush to the inside. I hope that’s just coincidence.

    4) Timeout management. Weeden burns two timeouts for organizational issues and Shurmur calls a timeout to save a delay of game for Colt McCoy. The call was late coming into the huddle on that one. WHY?!?! For a guy who’s been calling plays in this league for “years” and who has a card that seems to have plays printed on it…the playcall shouldn’t be that hard.

    5) LJ Fort and JMJ- OK, both of these guys (in my opinion) are making the club and while I liked their aggressiveness they gave up a couple of big plays as a result. In JMJ’s defense, he had that nice pass breakup on the goal line even if it was mostly luck.

    6) Hardesty- While his defenders will point to the offensive line as the reason he generated no offense, I will point out that they didn’t cause him to cough it up twice. I’ve always rooted for Hardesty but I can’t forgive this.

    7) Offensive Guards- Pinkston and Lauvao struggled. Philly has a nice defensive front. You can make all the excuses you want but they face these same guys week 1.

    8)Punt Team. Seriously?

    9) Greg Little. Gotta go over the middle dude. Catch the ball. Last thing you want to be known as is “scared”.

    10) Sheldon Brown. I’ve said for two years now that this guy needs to consider a move to safety. He was burned twice by an undrafted free agent.

    11) TJ Ward. How about playing some pass defense? League has no room for another safety who can’t cover.

    12) Tackling. I don’t even have the energy to go there at this point but I would ask that you go back and look at the Eagles’ THIRD stringers executing fundamentally sound tackles and then look at what the Browns are asking you to pay and watch. I would start on the obvious tackling-penalties-equals-discipline-and-coaching rant but Pat wouldn’t be “worried, disappointed or concerned”.

    Somewhere Rams fans are laughing.

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      we saw a lot of the same things.

      good
      1. the weeden to gordon perfect-throw athletic-catch has never been executed by a browns combo in CBS before.. or municipal. maybe kosar-to-langhorne did this but i cant remember it. (i remember our best receivers being not big — warfield rucker slaughter.) the gordon play on its own is a demonstrable sign of progress and improvement.
      2. billy winn is an impact player; downside– he can be pushed around. he wont be bullrushing any NFL guards this year.
      3. for all the crap the o-line is taking there was some good. i hope trent richardson could do more with this hole and this hole than hardesty did.
      4. no-huddle offense? sure it didnt work. but still, apparently it’s in the playbook. (lol at shurmur for showing it…)

      bad
      1. the secondary will be utterly screwed with haden out for four games (brown looking old. tj who?).
      2. i will give schwartz some time to figure it out (any one remember alex mack absolutely could not perform a shotgun snap for half of his first season?).
      3. i will call out greg little for the absurd alligator arms on the route over the middle. in the team film review, this will be a wince-able moment for him.
      4. that screen pass? pretty horrible, but i would say this — pinkston had to release, trent cole is fast, brandon weeden is slow. maybe shotgun screen?

      • ClevelandFrowns

        “the weeden to gordon perfect-throw athletic-catch has never been executed by a browns combo in CBS before”

        This is complete nonsense. Anderson combined with Winslow and Edwards on good throws/good catches plenty of times. The issue is being able to do it consistently and without turning the ball over on every third or fourth series.

      • Warburton MacKinnon

        Actually in CBS stadium,with passes that WERE in bounds I think Couch had better throws,as did Kelly,hell as Frowns says below so did Anderson. Yet you also bring up the old Muninciple stadium..um hello,Automatic Otto Grahm did it for a decade,hell Sipe did it for a few years and both threw better passes than Bernie who had just better percentages since he knew what he could hit on,c’mon Jim be honest at least. As for recievers can you really think that Gordon is more athletic than the two Frowns mentions,or Kevin Johson,or even Josh Cribbs…again this is just in CBS. I will never buy that Gordon athletically compares too Paul Warfield,Jim Brown,or Ozzie from the old stadium…also again without replacement refs they would and in Cribbs case do actually catch the ball in bounds…then again maybe that’s just on the QB?

        • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

          aiyeee.

          *mac speedie and dante lavelli.. not known to be athletic, tho speedie was 6-3 and supposed to be fast. doubtful he has gordons veritcal.
          *paul warfield.. 6 feet tall.
          *brian sipe threw to… dave logan or reggie rucker.
          *couch and holcomb threw to… whom? seriously i forget.

          so.. i dont understand how this is controversial. “strong armed qb to big athletic playmaking WR.” i can give you kellen winslow but was he even here with DA? and then not a real WR. and if you want to say the DA to braylon combo is the ceiling for weeden to gordon… i guess i’m seeing more.

          • Warburton MacKinnon

            You said Athletic,I will take your last point first yup Winslow played with DA..had his best season with him to. Gee Warfield was only 6ft at the time that was a tallish reciever,and mac and dante were athletic and tall for their time,and you still ignore Newsome from Sipe, whom he had HIS best year with..and several good ones. Newsome was the prototype for the new big athletic pass catching tight end,not as Winslow claimed his father was,but in truth. No one is arguing the big strong armed QB to the big athletic reciever,it is your hyperbole about it being the best ever connection in CBS and in Muninciple stadiums that I think at least I am denying,maybe Frowns is also arguing that..I think he is,it seems he did…if you had put it as you did above I wouldn’t have said a thing.

          • ClevelandFrowns

            Weeden hasn’t shown a damned thing that Derek Anderson didn’t show in spades. I don’t understand how this is remotely disputable.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    and also: enough already on the replacement refs. i think they’re fine; havent noticed a huge difference.

    the ‘solidarity’ on display from writers and fans toward the refs is laugh-able.

    it’s usually: ‘Pay the refs you greedy owners.’

    it’s never: ‘I support fully funded pensions for part-time employees. The greedy owners want the force the refs to be full-time employees and want them to have a 401k instead of a pension. I think Ed Hochuli should be able to keep his law practice and moonlight as a ref with full pension.’

    do the people who support the refs have a clue on what they’re supporting? here:

    “The NFL made a seven-year proposal that offered increases of between 5 percent and 11 percent in wages per year. First-year officials who made an average of $78,000 in 2011 would earn more than $165,000 by the end of the new agreement. A 10-year veteran in 2011 who made $139,000 would get more than $200,000 in 2018.

    Aiello said the NFL also offered a retirement arrangement under which each official would receive annual contributions starting at $16,500 and increasing to almost $23,000, plus a wide range of investment opportunities and expanded reimbursement for medical insurance costs.”

    BOO FUCKING HOO FOR THE REFS!!!
    GREEDY OWNERS!!!!
    SCABS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i absolutely LOVE the guy busting his ass for $10/hour on a landscape crew pining for his ‘working class’ brother who is turning down 165k/yr, full insurance, and a 401k for a half a year’s work as the country approaches 10% unemployment rate. LOVE IT.

    • GrandRapidsRustlers

      I will give them credit for the fact that they seem to be getting better every week.

      The biggest issue to me is the speed. They are taking WAY too much time to set the ball and get in position.

      The whole labor side of the current situation with NFL refs is laughable. None of them are full time and they seem to be doing well for themselves in other areas of life. I think everyone just needs to be honest with each other and say that even if you count 2 travel days for 1 game day the best refs in the world are working 72 days a year.

      Now if this was the MLB umpires I would have a completely different take. Go to any A or AA game and you see a huge difference and this is their full time job.

    • Warburton MacKinnon

      Seriously,you don’t see the blown calls,bad penalties and in general bad quality of the the replacements? I won’t say they are not improving,but it’s night and day between the regulars and the replacements. I also love how you dis the union the ref’s have and marginalize the fact that they are fighting for their workers. The last several years of union busting nationwide must seem like a dream come true for you then? Sorry don’t mean to be somewhat edging into personal political beliefs/values but this post of yours seemed to be just that and you only seem to give the NFL’s side of things. Again,don’t want it to be seen as an attack on anything but how you seem to say the replacements are doing,even though you seem to say much more.

  • The Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs

    YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • dwhalen5

    MOTHER OF GOD. IT’S BACK.

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