Pat’s Stats and a “Must Win” for the Browns v. Buffalo

by Cleveland Frowns on September 18, 2012

Two games in, and Mary Kay has gone from unrestrained paeans to golden armed redheads to openly trolling us with ledes on Pat Shurmur’s school days. Any way you look at it, it’s progress:

BEREA, Ohio — Pat Shurmur dreaded his statistics class as a business major at Michigan State, trudged clear across the blustery campus to get there, and didn’t really get it.

More on the trudging, please.

But there’s at least one statistic the Browns head coach can wrap his head around this week — if the Browns lose to the Bills (1-1) on Sunday and fall to 0-3, they can pretty much kiss their playoff chances goodbye. …

Mmm-hmm.

“We’ve got to win his game,” Shurmur said.

As it is, the Browns are already facing long odds. Since 1990, only 12 percent of teams starting 0-2 (22-of-184) — have made the postseason. …

“We need to do what we can to win this football game against a team that’s coming off a big victory [35-17 over Kansas City],” he said. “I’ve got a lot of respect for Buffalo because in my opinion they’ve done a lot of things to upgrade their roster in the last couple of years.”

So it’s not the zero playoff appearances and one winning season in twelve years, or the quarterback who makes five turnovers in every other game. When you’re talking about a team that can win a home game against a Romeo Crennel-coached squad that’s missing it’s three best players on defense, you’re talking about something dangerous.

“Right now, it’s easy to just lay down your hat and be like, ‘You know what? The season’s over with. We don’t have it,’” said linebacker D’Qwell Jackson.

It’s easy for the Browns to lay down and give up on the season, says D’Qwell. And seemingly much easier when the head coach starts talking about “must win” games for a young and developing team that has no earthly chance of being involved in any such thing for at least another season. Especially when that “must win” game is at home against a mediocre team and one of the league’s worst franchises, and the Browns still end up losing it.

Anyway, yes, beat the Bills. Beat anybody. That would be great.

—————

The quote of the day is from Pat Shurmur (h/t Kamov):

“I don’t care how big you are you can’t slip. But [Buster Skrine is] quick and he challenges.”

Note that the Cheddar Bay All Play for Week 4 is Michigan at Notre Dame (early line is ND by 6), and also that the Executive Committee is suffering extreme misgivings about not making it Bills/Browns. Kudos to the Executive Committee as well, not only for suffering such extreme misgivings on our behalf, but also for achieving a near even split of the action with last week’s Broncos/Falcons All Play.

Finally, it’s just as well that there’s a must win clash on tap for our tailgate party this Sunday. As mentioned yesterday, we’ll have it in the Muni Lot, mainly because it’s the easiest lot to get into and doesn’t charge for walk-ins. In addition to the chili cookoff, one special soul has volunteered to bring fresh Cheddar Bay biscuits, and we’ll have a grill with some stuff to throw on it, as well as some beer and a bottle or two. If you plan to come, please let us know by email (clevelandfrowns@gmail.com) or in the comments here. We’ll announce the exact location (i.e., precisely where in the Muni Lot we end up) in the comments to the Shurmurball Week 3 open thread as soon as we get there, but you can email for that as well on Sunday morning.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    the selfish contributions of the executive committee to cheddarbay betterment cannot be overstated.

    • The Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs

      Couldn’t agree more. All authoritarian regimes should take note

      • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

        ah. cuuugs. please tell me i overlooked your 6th cheddar pick which would give you a lobsterfest this weekend? anyhooos, five for five not shabby.

      • ClevelandFrowns

        PREACH.

  • nj0

    My favorite part? DQ: “..things may turn around. Things may not turn around, but that’s something that’s out of my control.”

    Even our own players admit that larger karmic forces are in control of these games and that they have no influence over what happens on the field.

    • thatsfine

      In the past month Lerner sold the team and Modell died… seems like as good a time as there has ever been to evoke karma.

      • eldaveablo

        Not to mention, it looks like Jim Brown is ending the Cold War. Holmgren has to be a goner ASAP, right?:

        http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/8394206/jim-brown-end-cleveland-browns-boycott-lauds-trent-richardson

        • BIKI024

          it had thawed out well before the sale was announced back in June.. I believe Holmgren extended an olive branch and Jim publicly admitted the thawage was in motion.

      • actovegin1armstrong

        Is Karma at Christie’s, or Diamond’s?

        • BIKI024

          Christie’s is hands down the best in Cleve, just ask Joe Thomas

          • actovegin1armstrong

            Biki,
            When you say “hands down” I am certain you mean that literally.

  • http://bryanjoiner.com/ Bryan Joiner

    I will be at Al K.’s and we’ll call in.

  • BIKI024

    again, it really seems like a waste of time to analyse anything MKC writes, particularly when she quotes players as she tends to put things out of context. D’Qwell said what he said, but if you watch his presser the body language and tone are much different than it appears. dissirregardless, it is what it is.

    my apologies for the fuzziness, but took this pic on Sunday at the Browns Backers bar in NYC with the evolution of the t-shirt they give all members the last several years. Always a good time, even in defeat, but the only downside of the place is that the girls are almost as ugly as they are in Cleve. WOOF WOOF WOOF!

    • ClevelandFrowns

      Biki, you are like school in the summertime.

      • BIKI024

        don’t shoot the messenger my friend

        • ClevelandFrowns

          I won’t, I’ll just edit his pig comments.

          • BIKI024

            oink oink my good man

          • ClevelandFrowns

            School in the summertime.

      • actovegin1armstrong

        Frownie,
        That is from Bill Cosby’s little brother Russell.
        No class.

    • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

      So you want a newspaper reporter to take into account body language and tone when quoting what a player says? I’m sure that I’m going out on a limb here when I guess that you slept through your intro to sports journalism class.

      • BIKI024

        actually i’d prefer people forming their own opinions after seeing things for themselves, unless it’s from a credibile source, and we all know how most people feel about MKC around here.

        • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

          If that’s what you’re looking for, Livingston and Shaw may be more up your alley. What you just described is the basic job description of a columnist, not a beat writer.

          A beat writer should try to report on the happenings of the team, try and remain somewhat impartial, and not act like they are on the payroll of the team they cover. Two of the three things MKC seems incapable of most of the time, so when she gives an effort to report quotes instead of gut feelings, I’ll applaud her.

          • BIKI024

            yeah, i think i must be getting lost in translation. bottom line for me is that i watch the pressers and form my own opinion. while I read most or all of the “content” pumped out by the PD, I take it with a grain of salt, for all the reasons you (and Frownie) have mentioned

    • actovegin1armstrong

      Biki,
      I am glad you are watching at a good venue.
      Our Browns Backers Bar in Austin forgot to get the game.
      They did not have it until the third quarter. However, at least ten other bars within walking distance were showing the Browns game.

      • BIKI024

        what!?! you need to form a coup and takeover down there brother, that is very un-Backer like of them. the bar overall isn’t much to write home about, but when all 30 TVs on the 2nd floor of a bar is on the Browns game, it’s a GREAT venue. (it’s also an unofficial Buckeye bar as well)

        • actovegin1armstrong

          I may try the venue in NYC.
          I frequently dump my clients into 56 Hudson, so I usually have a ready made excuse to go to NYC.
          I just need to schedule something for Friday afternoon and something else for Monday.
          Will I have to wear orange, or can I wear my browns hat with my customary pink shirt and pink shoes?

          • BIKI024

            i like yo style sonny! that is def a hot combo that for sure will make you a favorite with the “ladies” (insert “school in the summertime” here)

            never heard of 56 Hudson, but sports bars are growing like flies in NYC. they uses to be all dumpy hole in the walls (like the Browns Backers bar) but now all the cool kids go to the trendy/clubby sportsbars. Kind of fun, but for pure Browns action, you have to go to Manny’s, it really does make you feel like you’re back in some dive bar in Parma.

          • actovegin1armstrong

            “it really does make you feel like you’re back in some dive bar in Parma.”
            Fantastic pierogies too?
            Just like bars in Parma.

          • actovegin1armstrong

            60 Hudson
            Data collocation and peering.

          • LesFleursDuMal

            Greenwich Street Tavern in TriBeCa is a Browns Bar. I go a few times each season but, besides being damned expensive, there are usually annoying Wall St douches hanging around.

          • actovegin1armstrong

            I am an annoying douche too and I am most assuredly way more; shall we say “focused” than those chumps.
            I may give it a try if I am in NYC at the correct time.
            Thank you.

          • BIKI024

            negatory on the pierogies, unfortunately

  • BIKI024

    i know it’s early, but my ALL PLAY decision is already in: Michigan -6 (or whatever the line ends up being tomorrow, or whenever the cutoff is as it has changed a couple times already)

    • p_forever

      cripes biki. please stop being the worst. thx.

      • BIKI024

        don’t worry P, odds are def looking good that I don’t start 4-0 on my All Plays..

        • p_forever

          is it just that you believe (with plenty of evidence to back you up, by the way) that nd just cannot contain robinson?

          • BIKI024

            with the unfortunate loss of Slaughter, you may be on to something. btw, i would love to see ND win, but by 5 or less!

      • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

        move to grant biki the line of

        michigan -6 at irish

        before the official cheddar line is posted?

        • ClevelandFrowns

          DENIED.

          • BIKI024

            thanks Frownie!

          • ClevelandFrowns

            WAIT. GRANTED.

          • Petefranklin

            All hail Judge Frownie!!! Problem solved…..DRINK!

          • BIKI024

            school in the summertime my man, schooll in the summertime

          • Petefranklin

            BOOOOOOOOOO!!!

        • BIKI024

          DISLIKE

        • Petefranklin

          Seconded!!!

    • BIKI024

      oops +6.. (or wheverev it ends up). The team from up north wins this SU

  • dubbythe1

    I may or may not make it to the tailgate. I will know for certain in the next few days. A few questions…

    1. when should I be there? I was thinking 9-10am, give mea time and if I am coming I am there!

    2. Will a ticket(or 2) be readily available for aquisition if I show without one? If two are needed will they be together?

    Also, I’m pretty sure Shurmur battled across the blustery Michigan State campus..

    • ClevelandFrowns

      YES!

      #dubbyroadtrips

      #mustwinroadtrips

      1. I plan to be there at 7, but no later than 8.

      2. It is a Browns game. There will be tickets readily available.

      • nj0

        Challenge is the new battle. Battle was the new grind.

        • technivore

          I thought Challenged was the new Flashed?

          • Beeej

            I’m not your guy, buddy.

          • nj0

            true. all i know is somebody in berea has a thesaurus.

          • ClevelandFrowns

            #dangerousminds

    • actovegin1armstrong

      I am so close on frequent flyer miles….

  • AnonymousFrownsFan

    X’s and O’s or the cat gets it. Just sayin…

  • actovegin1armstrong

    “kiss the play offs goodbye”
    ??
    “What’s that? Ah — Playoffs? Don’t talk about — playoffs?! You kidding me?! Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game! Another game!”

    “Playoffs? Playoffs?”
    Jim Mora nailed it!
    One of the best sound bites ever!
    It is even more apropos with the beleaguered Browns than when Mora first said it.

    • Beeej

      Right up there with A.I.’s “Practice.”

  • http://twitter.com/lilOUmikey Mikey

    Need another pro to man the grill this year???

    • ClevelandFrowns

      It always helps. And Roofcrusher better come strong with the AAA card.

      • Beeej

        Did you add an extra “A” there?

        • ClevelandFrowns

          No.

  • p_forever

    by far the best brownie news to come around in a long while:

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-400_162-57515055/jim-brown-reuniting-with-cleveland-browns/

    • actovegin1armstrong

      Trent Richardson looked a little better than “average”, but I still agree with Mr Brown that he was not a good choice and not worth moving up one place in the draft.
      Jim Brown looks good at 76, he would give Richardson a run for his money today.

      • p_forever

        I agree – jim brown looks like he can still crush just about anyone. Love it.

      • p_forever

        fyi, i have one of these at my house – every brownie fan really should.

  • nj0

    I’m going to go out on a limb here and say if you watch ONE game this year, make it the Browns vs. Bills this sunday.

    This match-up has been EXACTLY the type of cripple fight you’d expect from two of the most pathetic franchises in all of sports – one part disgusting, one part enthralling; the football equivalent to a twenty-two car pile up.

    When two dumpster fires challenge each other, this is what you get:

    2004: Bills 37, Browns 7 (Luke McCown throws for 62 yards, takes 7 sacks for 70 yards; Browns put up 26 TOTAL YARDS, 5 turnovers)

    2007: Browns 8, Bills 0 (*SNOW BOWL* Derek Anderson 9/24, 137 yards, Phil Dawson kicks the most unbelievable field goal you will ever see, game ends at EIGHT ZERO!)

    2008: Browns 29, Bills 27 (Brady Quinn throws it 36 times for 185 yards; Phil Dawson kicks FIVE field goals)

    2009: Browns 6, Bills 3 (Derek Andreson completes TWO passes for 23 yards; Browns win on a last second field goal NOT kicked by Phil Dawson)

    2010: Bills 13, Browns 6 (Jake Delhomme completes 12 for 86 yards; so boring and desperate as to not be memorable)

    So to recap: over five games against the Bills, the browns QBs have averaged 80 net passing yards. They have scored 33 points off field goals while scoring three TDs.

    • BIKI024

      who ya got??

      • nj0

        Bills 39, Browns 37

        I’m thinking shoot out with two totals you never see in regular football games.

    • Bryan

      I think this installment might be a shoot-out. Spiller is going to have like 600 yards and 8 TDs. But I think Weed ‘n Rich will also put some points on the board.

      Bills 38 Browns 35.

      Shurmur burns two crucial TOs in the second half on challenges that he obviously won’t win, and Browns end up running out of time on their final drive. MVPhil left standing on the sideline with a frown.

      • nj0

        Basically this with a dumber score.

      • BIKI024

        yeah, it seems like the sun is going to shine on the dog’s ass (public) on this one with regards to the Over/Under (43.5).

        i learned my lesson from Chris Johnson a few years ago to not doubt a guy going bananas for consecutive weeks in a row, but good grief, let’s keep him under 150 guys!

    • Petefranklin

      I think I remember 07 as a covering field goal in the snow, best kick ever!

    • actovegin1armstrong

      njo,
      That is just too depressing.
      Your litany of losing ugly needs to be “Biki’ed up” a little:

      1990 Clay Matthews intercepts a Jim Kelly pass to propel the Browns to the AFC Championship Game, (do not mention that game), with a 34-30 win!

  • nj0

    Also: Steve Young dropping truth bombs on ESPN; extra funny for including BYU macro-econ 101 terminology a la Stringer Bell

    http://www.businessinsider.com/steve-young-replacement-refs-2012-9

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGgRtiCVo2w

  • bupalos

    One of the better«mmmmhmmm»’s I’ve seen in some time. Trying to figure out how I can swing sunday, sounds like a hootenanny but you don’t seriously show up at 8.

    • dubbythe1

      for a tailgate you most seriously do. Only thing stopping me from coming the night before is I may bring a ladyfriend and dont want to be presumptuous as far as sleepign arrangements.

    • CleveLandThatILove

      You must not be a serious hootenannier.

      • ClevelandFrowns

        But we know he is from his Cheddar Bay essays. He’s holding out on us.

        • CleveLandThatILove

          Could get scary in the daylight.

        • bupalos

          You wouldn’t think a few units of Kent/Hiram enviro studies folks and a projector would lead where it apparently does. Frowns is now even more famous, and the studio bathroom still smells pleasingly of anise.

          • ClevelandFrowns

            I never get invited to the good parties. Ever.

      • bupalos

        I’ve hootened from time to time, I’ve nannied on occassion, but hootennannying is something I’m counting on the Frown’s community to help me with.

        Is one to commence drinking at said hour? Isn’t one presumed to have drunk the evening before? This sounds painful. Tried this at mardi gras in NO one time and it ended with a small lost child peeing on (then-not) wifey’s head.

        • BIKI024

          just get there in time to eat some Frownie sausuage, I hear it’s delicious

        • ClevelandFrowns

          One could commence drinking at said hour if he was so inclined, but another widely accepted approach is to have some coffee and breakfast and watch the day open up. Maybe throw the football around a bit to loosen up, have some chit chat, listen to a little pre-game. Pour the first cocktail at 9:45 or 10:15-ish.

          The night before is up to you as well but at my advanced age I find it best to take ‘er easy.

        • ClevelandFrowns

          It’s also fine to just show up at 9:30 or 10 if you’re not the one hosting. Later than 10ish though and the whole experience is too rushed.

  • dwhalen5

    Pete: I’ll be at the ND/Mich game this weekend in South Bend, but we are attempting to leave around 5 am to get back here and tailgate. do tell wherever ya’ll end up.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      Will do and your attendance is mandatory.

  • http://twitter.com/musicman06 Chris Music

    Pete, I will make an appearance, with a bottle of Slivovitz, for any brave souls willing to have a shot with me.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      You know I’ll be ready. #Slivoblitz

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