T.J. Ward on Jimmy Haslam’s Accomplishments

by Cleveland Frowns on October 30, 2012

Jimmy Haslam joined the locker room celebration of his 2-6 team’s 7-6 win over the Chargers on Sunday and safety T.J. Ward came away much too impressed by the new Browns owner.

The Plain Dealer’s Tom Reed reports that, “Ward is amazed the owner seems to know each player on a first-name basis,” and Ward also commented on Haslam’s reaction after Pat Shurmur tossed him a game ball after the head coach’s post-game press conference:

“He seemed like a kid when he got that ball,” [Ward said]. Think about all the money he has and all the things he’s done. It’s good to see something like that means so much to him.”

Come on, T.J., don’t you know that football is fun? So is the celebrity and wholly subsidized eight-figure annuity that comes with owning an NFL football team. And of course Jimmy knows your name. He owns you now. It’s understood that this might all seem strange after Randy Lerner, but you should know that it’s Lerner who’s the anomaly here.

So about “all the things Haslam has done.” Tropical vacations? Mansions in three states? $5,000-per-hour prostitutes?* Or is it that he happened to be born to a father who decided to pass up a life of football coaching to get into the petroleum business just as the federal highway system exploded along with systems to exploit the scarce natural resource? By 1973, before Jimmy turned 20, his father already owned 50 gas stations with annual revenues of $30 million (about $150 million in today’s dollars).

Of course, if your family owned 50 outlets for any kind of remotely viable business in 1973, let alone in an industry with such complex barriers to entry as the oil business, you’d have had to have screwed up pretty badly to not own at least 500 of them today. Not that your dad would have let you, of course. But all Jimmy did was help dad use monopoly gas profits to capitalize on economies of scale to buy more gas stations as the country grew (or sprawled, as it were). Unless the plan to sell junk food at these gas stations counts separately.

Anyway, he didn’t cure any disease, he didn’t come up with any especially useful idea, and he didn’t even save a kitten from a tree.

The truth is, T.J., that whatever problems you might have in pass coverage, what you’ve made of what you were born with is probably a million times more impressive than what Jimmy has. So big up yourself, baller. Jimmy’s the one who should be amazed by you.

—————

*Just a guess.**

**RELATED: On his first full day as Browns owner, Haslam brings Paul Ryan and Condoleeza Rice to football practice.

—————

In other news, this hurricane is terrible and all the more reason to be thankful for the realest most resilient impervious irrepressible place there is. Hope everyone stays safe out there.

  • Brian Sipe

    I bet you will see him twice as happy TJ when he fires Shumur and the rest of the Lamonte 401k fund.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      Another no-brainer on the order of using monopoly gas profits to buy more gas stations.

    • BIKI024

      you’ve probably seen the last of any Lamonte clients in Cleve anytime soon, Banner has probably had enough with dealing with Lamonte in Philly (or vice versa): Howie Roseman, Andy Reid, Morningwheg are all Lamonte clients.

      Unless of course you want Jon or Jay Gruden as the next coach, or Josh McDaniels or Mike McCoy (Denver OC), they are also Lamonte clients…

      • Yahmule

        You could hire Josh McDaniels as head coach. You could achieve pretty much the same effect by having Reggie Hodges kick you in the nards every day for two years.

        • BIKI024

          respectfully disagree. not saying he’s my #1 choice, but he’s got a ton of experience, is great with young QB’s, and of course has strong ties to the Browns and NEO.

          but frankly, i think the focus of the Browns should be to determine who the GM is going to be, then find the coach, not the other way around.

          • Yahmule

            He wasn’t very great with Sam Bradford and he put clown shoes on the Broncos entire franchise during his reign of error. He was despised by most of the Denver team. The Broncos blatantly tanked to get him fired, giving up 59 points at home in three quarters to hated rival Oakland. Cable called off the dogs or it would have been worse. Spygate II was another highlight. I know he wouldn’t get input on player acquisitions again, but he turned four number ones and four number twos in Demaryius Thomas, Zane Beadles and a collection of assorted losers. He traded away a fourth round pick for proven bum Laurence “Tomato Eyes” Maroney with Marshawn Lynch on the market for the same price. He did it all (and so much more) with a self satisfied smirk on his face. Really only scratching the surface here.

          • BIKI024

            i’m not sure Sam Bradford is going to be very great with anyone, let alone without having an offseason to work together and injuries to key receivers.

            yes, he definitely shouldn’t be a GM again. Shanahan didn’t really leave him much in the cupboard and Cutler definitely screwed him by being a little baby.

            it’ll be interesting to see if the Browns give him an interview.. he’s in his 30’s and fits the mold of how the Steelers have done things (all hires are coaches in their 30s) and of course will probably come highly recommended by Belichick and Bob Kraft, who is becoming fast friends with Haslam.

      • Yahmule

        In all honesty, I also think Bradford has been wildly overrated as a prospect. I was advising the Rams to draft RGIII and trade Bradford, but nobody takes my phonecalls.

        I strongly hope the Browns go another direction. If they sign McDaniels, it will end in tears. McDaniels behaved just as childishly as Cutler did and you tend to expect more from a head coach. His initial trade idea was Cutler plus a number one for Cassel, which pretty much says it all. People give him credit for purging the roster of Cutler and Marshall, but he turned most of those picks into worthless crap. It was like having an unreliable Mercedes and trading it in for a bus pass and a pair of yellow Crocs.

        • ClevelandFrowns

          McDaniels would be a pretty uninspiring choice.

        • Beeej

          ” It was like having an unreliable Mercedes and trading it in for a bus pass and a pair of yellow Crocs.” Keep comments like this coming. Nice work!

  • BIKI024

    wow, talk about backin the salt truck on Jimmy Haslam.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      The photos from New York are unreal. Whole blocks of the East Village under water.

      • BIKI024

        they needed a nice scrubbing down there anyhow, those dirty hippies

        • ClevelandFrowns

          Dirty hippies? You can’t live in that neighborhood for less than $2K a month now.

          • BIKI024

            it’s mostly on the far east part of the hood, alphabet city, etc. lot of rent-controlled spots there.. but yeah, gentrification is in full-effect! but everyone below 39th all the way down to the Battery is out of power. yikes.

          • AlvaroEspinoza10

            ave D is rough

          • ClevelandFrowns
          • mo_by_dick

            #trustafarians

          • AlvaroEspinoza10

            thats becaue the dirty hippies/hipsters have moved onto chinatown

          • dubbythe1

            he meant hipsters

        • actovegin1armstrong

          Biki,
          Well put, there is always a need to remove the all pervasive smell of B.O. and patchouli.

    • actovegin1armstrong

      Happy to see that you are among the living SuperFan!
      I have a former paramour working near 47th and Lex, her mobile is going straight to voicemail.
      Simply because everyone and their brother is calling NYC, or is that area a problem?

      • BIKI024

        i’ve heard that some people are having issues with cellphone, but not as of yet for me.. all depends on where she lives, everything above 39th is all good, but dark below it.. if she lives in jersey or long island she’s most likely without power unfortunately. parts of BK, SI and Queens were affected too.. overall there’s like 2 million in tri-state area powerless!!

        • ClevelandFrowns

          Glad to know that the 1-900-BIKIFAN hotline is still open. We might need it tonight after the Cavs game.

        • actovegin1armstrong

          I was just a little worried, she lives up in CPW and I would hop in my little car and drive 100mph+ to NYC if there was a need to save people, rampant looting, or other such crimes.
          Maybe she will answer her emails eventually.

          Please remember, no good deed goes unpunished.

          • BIKI024

            she’s fine if she lives up there..

          • actovegin1armstrong

            Thank you Biki!

  • technivore

    Grossi’s hit piece on Mike Lombardi this morning is just jaw-dropping. It’s so far beyond unprofessional that I don’t even have a word for it. Dysfessional? Regressional?

    • ClevelandFrowns

      Really? Other than the weird “disclosure” about how they didn’t get along, I don’t see anything wrong with it. And I’ll be shouting much worse things than “Great Caesar’s ghost!” if Lombardi ends up anywhere near the Browns front office.

      • BIKI024

        agreed

    • Brian Sipe

      the point tech is making and I felt the same about it that Grossi uses his bully pulpet to run the Browns as usual from the side lines. I too do not want Lombardi, but I will alwasy be pissed the way Grossi attacked Mangini from day 1 from the PD.

      • ClevelandFrowns

        Well obviously me too re: Mangini, but at least Grossi’s found himself a worthy target this time, however poorly executed his shot might be. Journalists are supposed to be critical. It’s not like I carry any water for Tony, obviously, but it comes off as especially refreshing given the treatment Haslam is getting from the press here.

        • technivore

          One of the big problems I have with the piece is that it’s so out of the blue — has it been reported by anyone else, anywhere, that Lombardi is being considered for the GM position of the Browns? It just reads like Grossi woke up this morning and decided for some reason to trot out every single fact and/or rumor he could to paint Lombardi in the worst possible light… when nobody else is talking about Mike Lombardi. It’s basically a Roger Brown-level column.

          • ClevelandFrowns

            Grossi points out that Jason LaCanfora discussed Lombardi as a candidate over the weekend. I do think Grossi could have included more facts about Lombardi’s record as a GM, like Kanicki did in a post here last week.

          • actovegin1armstrong

            Exactly,
            jk nailed it.
            Send that to Haslam.
            Although I would like to think that he is fully cognizant of those facts.

      • BIKI024

        “bully pulpit to run the Browns” HA! the fact you honestly believe that Grossi had/has any influence on anyone in Berea is a freaking joke. besides, name me a sporstwriter that isn’t critical (at times) of the teams they cover?? unfortunately for Tony, he’s had a shitbox team to cover the past 20 years, so of course he’s understandably frustrated and clearly thinks that bringing in Lombardi as a GM would be yet again another mistake that will contribute to additional suffering for the fans (and sportswriters)

        i mean, can you imagine TJ Simers, Stephen A Smith, Mike Vaccaro, etc covering Cleveland sports?? good grief, you think Tony Grossi is opinionated.

  • Dr. Jew

    I can’t believe that all this negativity still persists after that rousing 7-6 victory on Sunday.

    • BernietoCatcherGuy

      Are you being serious? Rousing? I think this isn’t so much negativity as it is one man’s take on the affairs of the Cleveland Browns viewed through the prism of years of losing and left leaning socio-economic idealogy

      • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

        pretty sure DJ not serious.
        ‘rousing’ is the clue indicating irony here.

        • actovegin1armstrong

          jk,
          I think he may have been using that new sarcasm thing that Frownie debuted here.
          I rarely understand, but I play along.

      • ClevelandFrowns

        Thanks, but I’m pretty sure the Doc was making a joke about Sunday’s punt-fest. And it’s not “left leaning” it’s “forward leaning.”

        • BernietoCatcherGuy

          can it objectively be called forward leaning? On what absolutes is the basis for this description? Forward leaning towards?

          • ClevelandFrowns

            Towards a universe that expands instead of one that collapses on itself.

          • BernietoCatcherGuy

            that makes sense…

        • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki
      • bupalos

        Hey at least the dirty commie didn’t try to draw some specious connection between a guy like haslem and what’s going on in NY.

        Frack on!!!

        Irony detector off!!

      • actovegin1armstrong

        BtCG,
        ” left leaning socio-economic idealogy”
        Alright, now you are speaking my language.
        Disirregardless of everything else, everybody lean to the left!

  • BernietoCatcherGuy

    If Haslam doesn’t have the forsight to bring back Mangini, does Frownie have a preference for coaching and front office hires?

    • ClevelandFrowns

      1. MANGINI

      2. SABAN

      • BernietoCatcherGuy

        Saban is getting up there in years…do you think he would have the commitment to see through building a consistent winner?

        • ClevelandFrowns

          Yes, I think it’s pretty clear that Little Nicky wants nothing short of world domination, which includes a Super Bowl.

        • BIKI024

          Saban is 60 and is certainly getting up there, but there are plenty of coaches in the 60+ club:

          Belichick (60)
          Coughlin (64)
          Shannahan (60)
          Pete Carroll (61)
          Turner (60)
          Crennel (64)
          Gailey (60)

          • Defenestration

            Never would have guessed a single digit for age difference between Pete Carroll and Tom Coughlin.

          • NeedsFoodBadly

            Coughlin’s got some bad road, that’s for sure.

      • nj0

        Saban? Really? I assumed you’d back someone a little more honorable.

      • http://www.redright88.com/ Tom_RedRight88

        Would be very uneasy if the Browns went after Saban who, other than his current post at Alabama, has always had one foot out the door looking for his next job. Would always be expecting him to walk away at the first opportunity back in college.

        He’ll also want a ton of money (not my money, not my issue) and even more power to run the show his way, which could extend to drafting and other player moves. It’s been shown throughout the NFL that consolidating too much power into one person just doesn’t work.

        Plus there’s the whole aspect of college coaches not really working out at the NFL level; the Harbaughs being the possible exception.

        Of course, if the choice somehow came down to Saban and Jon Gruden, would fully support Saban every day and twice on Sunday.

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      i’d be fine with mangini. would love to turn back time and have had lerner quietly and and in back channels go to dimitrioff of atlanta with ‘lookit, here’s a pile of money for you to be CEO. but i want you to hire mangini. then pick your own GM, etc. but i really like mangini and if you keep an open mind, you will too.’

      however it just seems unlikely that he’s coming back.

      not 100% on saban.

      off the top of my head,
      looking at college coaches who i think could thrive in the nfl:
      taggert, wku
      kelly, oregon
      miles, lsu (and elyria)
      petersen, boise
      anderen, usu
      maybe holgorsen, wvu (get him a DC)
      and not now but soon, hazell, kent

      • BIKI024

        Dmitroff as CEO?? i mean the guy was previously director of college scouting for the Pats, had nothing to do with the business side of things, and doesn’t in ATL either (he’s the GM)

        but i’m assuming you want to give him CEO title is so that he can get out of his GM contract at ATL, although knowing a bit about him I doubt he would leave ATL high and dry after only 1 year on the job, even if he undeservedly got the CEO/Czar position for the Browns at age 42.

        but yeah, i’m sure things would’ve gone a lot smoother for Mangini if Lerner hired a GM first who then picked Mangini and had a plan to rebuild the team together. but as we all know, what’s done is done.

        as far as him coming back, it seems highly unlikely, but who knows.. it looks like there will be several job openings this offseason, so we’ll know soon enough how much in demand Mangini is as a HC..

        • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

          i thought he was CEO-or-something* in atlanta. in any event, he seems an executive-type with football head and the current atlanta success is testament to something (and something more than a soft-schedule). besides what does a football ‘CEO’ do? count money all day? near as i can tell it’s kind of a figurehead title and your day-to-day job is to look busy/effective and dont pick fights with the community that ‘buys ink by the barrel’ to paraphrase mark twain.

          *checked — yes, he was GM at the time he was being courted and so would have had to have been named CEO for him to move.

          • BIKI024

            now that Holmgren is officially out, every CEO in the NFL is an mba type who runs the business side of things.. while of course the football side of things is extremely important, the business side is a completely different animal, afterall it’s a business in which each team generates roughly $90m in sales a year and is typically a billion dollar investment. selling suites, advertising, strategic partnerships, etc. i mean, it’s way more than a “figurehead title”.

            of course with Holmgren it was definitely a “figurehead title” as he also didn’t have business experience, so as he said many times, he was looking for a new challenge in learning the other side of the business, but he basically hired guys to do what typical CEO’s do (Bryan Wiedemeier)

            but sure, we could’ve offered Dmitroff VP of Football Operations, something like that which probably would’ve been an outclause, but again, the type of dude he is, doubt he leaves after 1 season in ATL.

            but who knows, maybe ATL falters again this year, maybe the Browns can lure him out of there.. he was a scout for the Brownies in the mid-90s and was born in Barberton and his dad was a scout for the Brownies, so we shall see.

          • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

            biki, i have no doubt, NONE, that you could be a successful NFL CEO today.

          • actovegin1armstrong

            jk,
            CEO?
            Caustically Excessive Optimist?
            Chronic Engorged Overlord?
            Casually Entertaining Oaf?
            Continuously Expressing Opinions?

            I could drone on for a very long time.

            (Meant with all due respect Biki, you know I love you.)

          • BIKI024

            i’d say thanks, but it doesn’t seem like that was a compliment.

            again, billion dollar valuation of a company, $90M in sales. you’re not going to find any scrubs in the CEO (or acting CEO) position on any team in the NFL

          • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

            youre giving them way too much respect. fixed revenue streams from tv and licensing. fixed ‘payroll’ expenses for the most part via salary cap. variable revenue from tickets, parking, and concession. all they have to do to max those out is win (but that’s not mandatory). this is not a business with true competitive forces in it’s direct market and really without peer for public popularity in the broader markets of ‘competitive sporting events’ or even ‘entertainment.’

            it’s a printing press. and there’s no end to the ways nfl owners/ceos can profit from it. in fact, i bet NFL licensing rights applied to even canine hydration products would result in a sales bump for those products.

          • BIKI024

            ok, i guess we’ll have to disagree on what sort of qualifications an owner would require to trust to run their finances, etc.

            but going back to your point, Dmitroff was Director of College Scouting just 5 years ago, he’s on the football side of things. if the Falcons falter early this year, offer him VP – Director of Football Ops/GM

      • bupalos

        I like the grinning madman that is DC for Seattle. I don’t love the college route, the roles are so different, but Saban knows the ropes.

        Have to admit I’d be happy to go back to Mangini now too.

        • BIKI024

          let’s just hope they hire the GM first this time.. (unless they keep Heckert)

      • actovegin1armstrong

        Sorry I asked this again, oops….

      • actovegin1armstrong

        I like Miles and Kelly.

      • AlvaroEspinoza10

        funny thing about Miles, despite his success, the general consensus around people I’ve met in New Orleans/among LSU fans is that Les Miles is “a complete idiot.” they all seem to think the program’s success is somehow despite him. they treat gameday with the same anxiety for a “stupid move by Miles” as indians fans did w any Eric Plunk appearance (late career).

        just throwing that out there, i’ve watched very few LSU games. and in Miles’ defense, LSU fans typically are complete idiots in all aspects of life

  • maxfnmloans

    how do you know Haslam has not saved any kittens from trees? And your killing my buzz again…after Lerner, I’d even take Tony Montana as an owner. Oh no, a rich person got that way because his family got in a business early and now we may not see that business as being the most honest one out there. Heavens to Betsy.

    I grew up on the property of people who could probably buy Haslam 3 times over. My Father was the field worker, my mother was the house worker. These folks got their money from the coal business that Grandpa started. The neighbors across the street took over Standard Oil of Ohio as a favor to John Rockefeller when the government broke up his monopoly. I used to weed eat their hangar and mow their private landing strip. These people told us to our faces that they considered us to be “less” than they were. When I was 7 I spent a day showing their grandkids around their property, and then when it came time for a swim, they went to the pool, and I was told that the nearby river was “warm enough” at that time of year.

    What I am saying is I have no empathy at all for children of businessmen who made their fortunes in the energy fields (oil or coal). I’ve know this exact sort of person for over 30 years. Haslam doesn’t strike me as this kind of guy. He at least seems sincerely happy to have this opportunity.

    Since we rarely have anything to cheer about, cant we enjoy this for at least a little while? Like tile the end of the season? We already know the season is a loss, and its all a big evaluation period, so how about we afford the new owner the same luxury before we start making suppositions about $5,000 hookers?

    • ClevelandFrowns

      I guess I’m more of an optimist than you are. And probably less inclined to base impressions on press releases.

      Chin up. There’s a lot more in life to cheer about than a few wholly subsidized eight-figure annuities masquerading as competitive sports franchises.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      And none of this really has anything to do with the fact that TJ Ward’s accomplishments are objectively a million times more impressive than Haslam’s.

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      nationalize the drilling and exploration business. oil in alaska is as much a shared national resources as the waterfall at yosemite. seems to be working ok for saudiaramco and pemex (though im prepared to be buffeted by with data i dont know for making that statement.) profits should be applied toward retiring outstanding debt.

      back to jimmy haslam, max: it’s just easier to demonize a rich guy who seems to have earned it via straight-up capitalism than offer a constructive new approach. “FORWARD — there are still rich folks to blame for your problems.” that’s the leadership we’ve seen lately and all too common here.

      ps — haslam IS the poor boy of nfl owners. sure that’s why lerner let buy on an installment plan. his net worth is 1.2B and 1B is tied up in cleve. that’s leaves only 17% of his net worth ‘liquid’ and i doubt it’s all in cash. tbh, it smells like there was some numbers/ratios manipulation + good old fashioned cronyism in getting this sales approved so fast by the owners.

      • bupalos

        >>>it smells like there was some numbers/ratios manipulation + good old fashioned cronyism in getting this sale approved so fast by the owners.>>>

        My guess is the owners can smell numbers about 10 times as high in the family and can count up to the median age of male mortality. Unlike folks who talk seriously about “earning” a billion dollars, I think they pretty well understand how this rodeo works, and know that Haslam will be at least quadrupling his money in the next 10 years whether he gets out of bed before noon or not. Quintuple if you guys get your wish with that great patriotic dream to ABOLISH THE DEATH TAX!!!

        >>>nationalize the drilling and exploration business. oil in alaska is as much a shared national resource as the waterfall at yosemite>>>

        You never fail to surprise, Kanick. I mean, that statement is orders of magnitude more socialist than anything the President has ever said, and it pretty much implies that a bunch of the county’s wealthiest folks came by it unjustly. But move along nothing to see here…

        >>>it’s just easier to demonize a rich guy who seems to have earned it >>>

        I’d be interested to know where you find either the “demonization” or “rich folks being blamed for problems” either in this post or generally or in “the leadership.” Personally I think it’s a figment, along with the empty chairs that so rudely tell people to go ?@!# themselves. Saying someone hasn’t cured cancer is hardly demonizing. Instead of going after folks for not showing sufficient deference to the Cult of Money, you might have mentioned that indeed the Haslam family has done a fair number of civic-minded charity-type things for which they deserve some credit. This is the proper trickle-down way to frame these things. Of course, we’d then have to look at whether the tiny portion of the spoils they’ve allowed trickle down is greater or less than the portion of “shared national resource” that helped them “earn” it.

        • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

          free yourself of partisan and doctrinaire thinking bup.

          oil is a natural resource. just like the tennessee valley. just like fresh water. if eminent domain laws can co-opt dozens of cities and displace thousands of people to build dams and reservoirs for the public good; why should energy resources not be a commonly shared resource.

          is it socialist? is ‘dont know dont care’ flippant? are utilities socialist? is hydro-quebec socialist? it’s government owned… does that mean it’s bad? i’d listen to arguments on environmental bases concerning H-Q being bad, but as a government-owned enterprise,,, it’s an enormously profitable exporter that the province and country benefits from. i dont give a rats ass if it is categorized as ‘socialist.’

          i’m not against government. i’m for re-evaluating the role of government. and i’m really really for ideas to retire debt and to fund the unfunded pensions that will be hitting home in the next ten years.

          archaic thinking is what i am against. blind partisanship is what i’m against. where you find in my philosophies a ‘deference to the cult of money’ is a curiosity to me. but i will say i have a healthy respect for people who have worked hard and succeeded.*

          *success to me is surely not defined by size of 401k. hope you know that about me by now, but wanted to emphasize this.

  • Brian Sipe

    the Saban thing is a head scratcher…. I am not against it, but just do not see him doing it though. He knows the pro game well so it is not like taking a pure college coach like “the ‘ole ball coach”…. However, he is King in ‘bama.

    • bupalos

      I think if he were going to take an NFL gig, this would be the one. This is as close to a clean slate as you can get in the NFL, and it’s no longer an empty slate. It’s a young increasingly talented roster with a committed big-buck owner that obviously wants to go long-term and would worship at his feet.

      Don’t think it will happen, but there really are multiple factors that make it plausible.

      • BIKI024

        plus he has roots in the area, his dad was drafted by the Browns and played for us for a few seasons.. Saban went to KSU and coached at Toledo, and of course for the Brownies.

        just wonder if Haslam/Banner will want to yield that much power to one guy and vice versa..

        • actovegin1armstrong

          Biki,
          What do you think about Les Miles?
          A very good friend of mine is some kind of honcho at LSU, he thinks Les Miles may be leaving soon.
          Is he NFL worthy?
          I like his nickname.
          If they could draft a DB named Lewis Carroll….

          • BIKI024

            he’s a Clevelander, and a heckuva coach, so I wouldn’t have a problem with him except for the fact that he played at Michigan. But so did Harbaugh, and everyone thinks he’s the 2nd coming of Christ of coaches..

          • ClevelandFrowns

            Jesus can coach? BRING HIM IN.

          • Beeej

            But he can’t hit a curve ball.

          • actovegin1armstrong

            “But he can’t hit a curve ball.”
            So Beeej, he must be the Michael Jordan of coaches.

          • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

            i think miles could be a very good nfl coach.

          • actovegin1armstrong

            jk,
            Who would be your first choice for the Browns?

          • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki
          • ClevelandFrowns

            What are Taggart’s credentials?

          • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

            the easy credentials are that he was recruited john jim harbaugh to play for jack harbaugh, wound up wku’s best ever QB, want on to be john’s jim’s RB coach at stanford, and then went back to wku’s HC (presumably eschewing more glamorous opps in the name of loyalty to his alma mater). last year he got on my radar when i was scouting for a bad team to bet against. they were 0-4 but covered (and beat me) against arky st. he took that 0-4 team last year and won out EXCEPT for a loss at baton rouge in which wku was only down 14-7 at halftime). theyre 6-2 this year (one loss at tuscaloosa, then a home OT loss to ULM). over that span he’s like 14-1 ATS.

            but for me, watching a lot of football, and a lot of second tier football, i’m impressed with his poise on the sideline. game management. as rod says ‘he puts his players in the best position to succeed.’ you watch his players on the sideline and theyre working together, talking with each other. esprit de corps is strong. there have been several games where they fall behind and he doesnt panic. he adjusts.

            if you want to hit a homerun, you need to look beyond the marty mohrninwhigs and brad childresses and stale ‘coaching tree’ resumes. you gotta identify a coach ‘who’s got it’ and get him early. this guy is going to be a great head coach for a long time. you let him go on to uva or uk or uminnesota or some bigger program and then youre in a bidding war for his services and youve lost five more years of prospective continuity.

            check out the wku/mtsu game thursday. wku -9. it’s a scary line because imo MTSU doesnt suck. youll see a non-sexy offense and a no frills defense. but youll see players making plays and players in position to make plays. youll see fundamentally sound. youll be like.. meh. but at the end of 4th quarter theyre probably covering.

          • BIKI024

            rumor has it that Haslam may have learned something from the Rooney’s… so is that a tell? new coach is in his 30’s???

            thing is, all the guys you’ve mentioned had previous experience coaching in the NFL… Taggart never coached (or played) in the NFL.. seems like a stretch for him to be the guy..

          • BIKI024

            has there ever been a dude to be named HC in the NFL who has never even sniffed the inside of an NFL locker room? closest I can think of is Lane Kiffin, but he had one year with the Jags, but of course he probably learned a thing or two about life in the NFL from watching his father coach in the league for as long as he did.

            i could be wrong, but it seems to me that WKU isn’t really a blue chip powerhouse, so he probably has a bunch of very sound football players who probably aren’t primadonna’s and WKU may be their only shot of receiving a free education. they certainly don’t go there to try to get to the NFL, as there are only 2 active players who are WKU alums in the NFL and they don’t get any meaningful playing time. so i’m sure that is probably why they may look more disciplined and cerebral than others. i mean heck, just 5 years ago they were in Division I-AA.

            maybe he will get his shot at a legit college program someday, maybe he won’t, and maybe he’ll be a great NFL HC someday, but he doesn’t even come close to deserving it next year. obviously Banner (and the Steelers) are not shy on taking chances on younger coaches who may not have previous HC experience in the NFL, but Andy Reid had 8 years of experience in GB, and was around a heckuva lot of wins as well as “big shot” NFL players that I’m sure got him ready to handle coaching multimillionaires, not guys looking to get a 4 year scholarship and enter the life insurance business.

            i hope we take a good look at Perry Fewell..

          • ClevelandFrowns

            Yeah, there’s just no way this guy gets anywhere near a top NFL job until he spends some time in the NFL or starts taking WKU to BCS bowls.

    • Chris P.

      DISLIKE THOSE SWEET IVORY TUSKS

  • Bryan

    Unrelated: Has anyone been following the story that Kyrie might miss the opener because he had his wisdom teeth out? Does this make any sense? Why would you get your wisdom teeth out right before the opener when you had a whole offseason to do it? Only in Cleveland would the best player possibly miss the home opener because of wisdom teeth. Cripes.

    • NeedsFoodBadly

      Didn’t he get his wisdom teeth out last week? It takes most like a day or two to recover from that usually. I had complications when I had mine out, but that sort of thing is ultra-rare, I thought.

      • actovegin1armstrong

        NFB,
        To Kyrie’s credit, every case is different.
        I had one of 4 impacted and they broke my maxilla getting it out. (not uncommon) There is still a hole there and my maxilla never healed, it moves around a bit. It is not a big deal, but it certainly was an issue for a couple of weeks.
        I am however a bit of a sissy.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      I worked a night shift bussing tables at the Fairlawn Max & Ermas on the same day I got mine out and you wouldn’t believe the way elbows that would fly at that place. I might have taken 120,000 mgs of percocet before I went in but that’s neither here nor there. #GAMEDAY

      In fairness, mine weren’t impacted. If they’re impacted it usually takes some time to recover. But yeah, why couldn’t they figure this out at any point in the last six months?

      • ClevelandFrowns

        And yes, re: percocet. #thegoodolddays

      • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

        Max & Erma’s – that takes me back. Hopefully your flair was in compliance. My family wouldn’t put my fat ass anywhere near the food before or after service when I worked at our little place. I didn’t know that “plastic plant waterer” and “doorknob polisher” weren’t actual positions in the foodservice industry until much later in life.

        • ClevelandFrowns

          Asians are smart. I didn’t have to wear flair at M&E’s, but I did at Friday’s. “I’d rather wrestle and lose than play basketball and win” was my best piece.

          • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML
          • actovegin1armstrong

            PML, I was working in the “Boiler Room” where that movie was filmed.
            It was a great way to learn that my education was not worth anything.

      • actovegin1armstrong

        “I might have taken 120,000 mgs of percocet”
        My guess is this was then and still is a daily ritual.

    • BIKI024

      i’m not sure it’s something you can plan that far in advance. from my recollection when i got them pulled i had some pain and went to the dentist and they recommended to get them pulled.

      dissirregardless, it seems like he’s going to be playing, he was named to the starting lineup yesterday and there really hasn’t been any rumblings that he was in serious jeopardy of missing the game.

      • actovegin1armstrong

        It is not exactly emergency surgery Biki.
        I put off having mine pulled for 21 years.

    • BIKI024

      i took the Cavs UNDER 35 anyhow, so wouldn’t be the worst thing if he missed a game or 2 early on!

      • ClevelandFrowns

        WHOA, SUPERFAN. THE UNDER?

        • BIKI024

          yes, i took the under on them 2 years ago as well.. love the way we’re rebuilding, but we’re still a bottom 3 team, i like the value in the under..

          • technivore

            I’m 100% with you on this Biki. I really like the direction the team is headed long term — how can you not love Kyrie? — but under 32 wins this season is a stone cold lock. That bench is BRUTAL. And once Andy is traded, there really is no floor for this team.

          • BIKI024

            i’m not as down on the bench as it seems you are, have always like CJ Miles and think he will end up being pretty good for us. really like Zeller’s game, but he obviously will have some issues adjusting. Samardo seems like he’s on a mission to step up his game as he came to camp slimmed down by 20 pounds. Sloan is a serviceable backup. and Boobie is Boobie. with Leuer, Walton, and Casspi there to pick up any slack if the other guys slip.

            but overall if you look at how we match up against the rest of the league, particularly in the East, I just don’t see us being favored in too many games. Even the Wiz are much improved, i’m actually surprised that we are favored by 5.5. although i don’t think it would be prudent to wager against the good guys in their home opener…

          • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

            The 1999-2000 team / bench with fat Shawn Kemp was a hell of a lot worse than this team, and somehow they scratched out 32 wins. I don’t see why this team can’t. I probably wouldn’t bet much money on the over, but I wouldn’t be particularly surprised if this team happened to win 32 games.

            If they match the .318 win percentage that they had last year, that would yield 26 wins. Kyrie missed 15 games and will hopefully stay healthy, Anderson had another freak injury and appears to be healthy, the team added talent through the draft, and Mills is actually a nice player to have off the bench. They’ve also had a full offseason, which will help Scott get the new guys a little further up to speed with his Princeton offense than they were last year.

            I don’t see any logical reason why this team couldn’t pick up 6-7 more wins this year. Nowhere for this team to go but up.

          • BIKI024

            @ChrisM – yes, the team definitely should be more talented this year, particularly if Irving and Andy play as close to 82 as possible. the thing is, most of the teams that were bottom dwellers with us improved as well:

            Brooklyn – for obvious reasons
            Washington – added Nene, Okafur Ariza and Beal
            Detroit – Drummond is going to be the 2nd best rookie this year.

            we’ll be fighting with Charlotte, NO, Orlando and Sactown for bottom 5. which typically caps out at 28 wins. my guess is that we win 30.

          • technivore

            Why are you guys assuming that Andy will be around all season? I think he’s more likely than not to be traded (not a lock, but more like 60/40 he goes in my estimation). Also, as wonderful as Kyrie is when he’s on the floor, for a 20 year old he’s awfully brittle. Staying healthy is a skill and so far he hasn’t exhibited it. Not saying he won’t figure it out, or that he hasn’t just had a run of bad luck, but he needs to show me he can stay healthy for one single season.

            And I’m sure it doesn’t need to be pointed out to you guys that if this team loses either Andy or Kyrie (or god forbid, both) they’re a bottom 5 team easily which, as Biki rightly points out, hardly equates to hitting on the over. It’s all shades of gray of course and I don’t want to come across as down on this team over the long haul — quite the contrary in fact — but I very much see them headed for another high lottery pick this season before starting to put it together next year.

          • technivore

            Re: Samardo, I agree that he looks to be in terrific shape this preseason and I’m rooting hard for him to put it together, but I’ve watched him in particular every chance I’ve gotten (which granted there haven’t been many) and he continues to make one bonehead play after another. Leuer, Miles, Sloan are journeymen, they won’t embarrass you but all are limited. Boobie might be the most overrated player in Cavs history (although I do like his defense). Coach Scott will get all these guys to play hard but with the exception of Zeller and Samardo they’re all just taking up space.

          • BIKI024

            i don’t think it’s in the Cavs best interest to trade Andy this season. of course he has been injury prone the past few years, but we have him signed for this year and next and have a team option for him in 2014 at a fairly reasonable $9.3m average for a lock at double-double and all the intangibles he brings.

            even if he’s at 100% all season long, i still think we have many other flaws on the roster to still be a lottery team next year. add a James McAdoo, and some additional vets with the cap space and we could be a real solid team in what would be Kyrie’s third season and even better in 2014 (especially if we can somehow lure Lebron back).

            unless we get blown away with a great trade proposal, it seems the only teams that will go after Andy are teams on the cusp of winning a championship which means another late-round pick and probably a salary dump. so it just doesn’t seem to make sense to make a move.

          • BIKI024

            no doubt they are space eaters, and are a big reason why we won’t be able to compete for 48 minutes against most of the competition, hence my under play. but i think Leuer will do his best to try to be in the rotation now and in the future. he’s only 23 and the boy can shoot for a big man, which has it’s obvious advantages. not a bad rebounder as well, but definitely needs to beef up a bit and get better on defense, which hopefully Scott and Co. can improve.

          • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

            Just adding that I agree with Biki about trading Varejao. He’s got an extremely team-friendly contract, and unless they get young talent with upside in return, I don’t see any reason to move him.

            That being said, 30 wins is probably about right. but snagging 2 more wins out of 52 losses doesn’t seem like an impossible task for a hungry, young team.

    • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

      When my wife had hers removed, it was 3 days after she knew she had a problem with them. It’s entirely possible that they weren’t giving him a problem last week.

  • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/10/irvine-resident-calls-for-memorial-in-honor-of-fish-.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter&dlvrit=649324

    This made my day.

    Also, seeing that fake pious evil bastard’s pan-asian fro advertisement on your site makes me cringe. I almost want to click through to the site to leave Head & Shoulders a piece of my mind. I know it’s some twisted algorithm that is putting it there.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      He married a Greek girl so he’s Greek. It’s fine.

      • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

        Even the devil has good taste.

    • ClevelandFrowns

      I’ll set myself on fire if they don’t put up a memorial for those fish.

      • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

        Liked for the empty threat of self immolation.

  • p_forever

    sure the free highway system took care of demand, but don’t forget the feds subsidized the supply side of the business too, by giving away free rights to drill on federal land. no wonder the haslams love america so much!

    http://finance.fortune.cnn.com/2012/04/23/oil-drilling-federal-land/

    anyway, i’m hoping that jimmy uses what he was born with to make a winning brownie team. we’ll see.

  • ClevelandFrowns

    More amazing photos at Gawker’s temporary site: http://updates.gawker.com/

    Including a link to this New York Observer piece on folks who refuse to evacuate their waterfront luxury condos: http://observer.com/2012/10/williamsburg-waterfront-frankenstorm-hurricane-sandy-northside-piers-the-edge-bloomberg-evacuation/?show=all

    • BIKI024

      FWIW, the power didn’t go out in Willyb, so those people who refused to evacuate were just fine.

    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/353RMCG4SCQSGHPMKN7TMON654 S. A

      Ahem, would’ve been nice to know there was a NSFW pic in that link.

    • BIKI024
    • actovegin1armstrong

      I am very disappointed, I can not find the NSFW pic.

  • ClevelandFrowns

    I’m taking the rest of the week off, guys. https://www.google.com/search?source=ig&rlz=&q=Mike+Holmgren+playoff+tickets&oq=Mike+Holmgren+playoff+tickets&gs_l=igoogle.3..0i30.123.4274.0.4368.23.8.0.15.15.0.263.931.4j3j1.8.0…0.0…1ac.1.QduolTcqYPI

  • GrandRapidsRustlers

    You had me at $5,000 an hour prostitutes.

    Moves Haslam to top of Cleveland owner rankings.

  • AlvaroEspinoza10

    if there exists some organization out there that promotes women in sports journalism, they must be calling the PD daily with cooked-up Las Vegas scandals trying to get MKC fired. seriously, setting back female sports journalists 10, 20 years?

  • actovegin1armstrong

    Rod’o, et al,
    I heard some stuff that there may be a team interested in Colt McCoy before the “trading deadline”.
    I know the trading deadline does not mean much in the NFL and I am certainly Joe Nobody, but even idiots have ears.
    Have any of the smart kids here heard Clot McChips rumors?

  • Dinger63

    The way Haslam’s job as a “petroleum businessman” is described you could easily have been describing a lawyer or politician.

  • CleveLandThatILove

    This should end the Brandon Weeden debate. Check out the shirt. Word.

    http://instagr.am/p/Rbkr8okwJt/

    • BIKI024

      Weeds! i like that he rolls with TRich and Frosteeeeeeee, and of course CavsDan!

      btw, his presser today was great. i think he’s definitely maturing as an NBA owner: http://www.nba.com/cavaliers/video/pregame-gilbert-121030

      • CleveLandThatILove

        The future is bright, all the way around.

        • ClevelandFrowns

          Omigod some football players went to a basketball game. Good god just win a championship.

          • CleveLandThatILove

            Trying to hold off that line between my brows as long as I can, Frowns.

    • http://www.autismspeaks.org/ PML

      He’s got a crush on you! That’s what that shirt is for, right?

      • CleveLandThatILove

        He is relentless.

  • rgrunds

    FrOrange. One of your best compositions. Flows and goes. Bronze it.

    I don’t think I could have done better.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    cheddar week 10 lines are up.

    http://dl.dropbox.com/u/11485578/ched_wk10.pdf

    no line on nmex at unlv. (that’s weird.) will post once i see one.

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