Plain Dealer columnist Bud Shaw ever vigilant against looming Red Threat

by Cleveland Frowns on January 28, 2013

If you’re one of those people who laments that nobody at the Plain Dealer sports page has taken a remotely courageous or otherwise significant editorial stance for at least the last half-decade, you must just not be reading closely enough.

And admittedly, it was hard to catch this among the latest round of “LeBron never went to college!,” “Lance Armstrong is a liar!,” and “ballplayers get paid so much money, how could they ever get used to it!?” jokes littering Bud Shaw’s most recent “Sports Spin” column (again!). But look:

A fantasy football group wants to petition President Obama to declare the Monday after the Super Bowl a national holiday, saying it would make the streets safer, promote a productive environment for work on Tuesday and recognize America’s most popular sporting event.

Thank you much, said the Chinese.

The Chinese.

Bud Shaw finally writes about something interesting, a good idea in Washington, and the first thing he wants his readers to do is worry about the Chinese.

bs1

We know it’s supposed to be just a joke directed mainly at dimwits, but again, that just makes this all the more important. Can we — you, us, Plain Dealer editors — all agree that the idea that the U.S. is losing some kind of important race to China isn’t funny but actually a mendacious canard, and that to the extent it has any traction at all, it’s only because the powers that be in China don’t let things like environmental regulations or human rights slow them down any?

Only dimwits would disagree and there are all kinds of easily foreseeable problems with them doing just that, but even if we can’t come to terms on the above, someone at the PD’s China desk, or just someone who knows how to use a basic internet connection, should have at least figured out that an extra day of vacation couldn’t possibly hurt we Americans vis a vis the Chinese no matter what, if anything, we’re competing for. This is only because China’s national holidays take up some 25 days on the Chinese calendar, as opposed to just 7 or 8 days off for holidays for the majority of working people in the U.S.

So of course the fantasy footballers who want to petition President Obama are even more right than we thought. The answer is fewer ill considered references to ”the Chinese” on the sports page and everywhere, and not just more national holidays, but A LOT more, with Super Bowl Monday a fine place to start adding.

You may and should, of course, do your part by RSVPing to our Super Bowl either at the Cleveland Frowns post here or the facebook page here. Especially if your name rhymes with “Chud bawww” in which case the first three cups of whiskey on are us.

—————

In other news, the results are in on Tony Grossi’s #ArtIn or #ArtOut poll, and they’re only surprising in that so many Ravens fans were able to troll the vote. Anyway, thankfully, Grossi concludes that “doing anything less” than “represent[ing] the case of … [generations of Browns fans who know that #ArtOut is the only conceivable answer] to the Hall of Fame committee” would be “irresponsible.” We hope he issues a summary statement and will stay tuned for that;

As expected, the Orange helmets did not disappoint last evening;

And finally, to come full circle on what’s keeping Bud Shaw on China in your newspaper, here’s an excellent read from Mobutu Sese Seko at Gawker on what’s behind grossly disparate respective media reactions to the Manti Te’o story and the one about the Church of Scientology “advertorial” in The Atlantic.

Hope everyone’s week gets off to a decent start.

  • willy loman

    Nice post/photoshop, but wasn’t it “courageous” of MKC to run with a story tweeted out by a Solomon Wilcots parody account?

    • http://www.clevelandfrowns.com/ Cleveland Frowns

      Damn it, you’re right.

  • ChuckKoz

    if the NFL goes to 18 game season at some point, its believed the Super bowl will move to Presidents Day weekend, which is probably the best we can hope for.

    • http://www.clevelandfrowns.com/ Cleveland Frowns

      Unacceptable on every count.

      • ChuckKoz

        agreed on 18 games, but all good with the presidents day….especially in light of the fact that courts out here are closed for both the official president’s day monday and on lincolns birthday….i dont need 2 president days….i need 1 president day and then the day off after the super bowl

      • Believelander

        Actually, I can think of worse things than the Super Bowl being scheduled annually on the Sunday preceding a national Monday holiday.

        • http://www.clevelandfrowns.com/ Cleveland Frowns

          Not if we have to go to an 18 game schedule to get it. I guess more bye weeks would be a good thing, though. I mainly don’t want to give up on the separate holiday.

          • Believelander

            Ohhhhh I get it.

            The thing is that getting the NFL to ‘lock in’ the Souper Bowl to the day before a holiday is easier than getting the government to make the day after the Super Bowl a holiday.

  • mo_by_dick

    I think that when future civilizations study our ruins, our sports writers’ jokey “quick takes” columns will be readily recognized as the death of humor.

    • humboldt

      Or a decadent artifact of the declining empire

      • http://www.clevelandfrowns.com/ Cleveland Frowns

        Damn it, again.

  • nj0

    Here is a semi-serious proposition I’ve promoted for a while:

    As much as I love MLK Jr., I’ve always been slightly bothered that we have a national holiday to celebrate one single man. That’s not a knock on him, but a.) just my own hesitancy to turn a flawed human into something of an idol and b.) my dislike of presenting the Greatest American Achievement of the 20th Century (aka the Civil Rights Movement) as though it was the achievement, mostly, of one man.

    So I’d eliminate MLK Jr. Day (not out of any malice toward him) and create a Civil Rights Day that would take place on the Monday in February (African American History Month) after the Super Bowl.

    Now, critics might say placing such a holiday after the Super Bowl is tacky or diminishes the achievement that was the Civil Rights Movement, but I say nay. First off, who would deny the huge influence sports have had in advancing the cause that was the Civil Right movement? Second, is there anything more egalitarian than sport? Nothing brings us more together as a people than sport and, specifically, the Super Bowl. Third, I think this would do a whole lot for race relations. I don’t see the whiter, regressive states denying themselves a day off after the Super Bowl. Granted, it’s sort of a back door to racial acceptance, but I’ll take it. Finally, this is a National Holiday. Why so serious? Why can’t we be blatant? Why can’t we say – we all want to party on this Sunday so lets find a reason to get Monday off.

    And heck, now that I think about it, why not keep MLK Jr Day AND add Civil Rights Day?

    And speaking of the Chinese – wouldn’t that be a big middle finger to them? “You guys keep producing cheap products and denying human rights. We’re taking Monday off to watch football, stay up late, and then celebrate how we aren’t assholes to each other.”

    • Chris P.

      Um, that man is basically our Gandhi.

      I mean in the 50′s “being familiar with negroes” or “championing civil rights and liberties” could get you labeled a communist. it could get you lynched. it could get your house torched.

      and that’s if you were white.

      the federal government tried to destroy that man. they probably had an implicit hand in assassination him. they tried to get him to quit being so damn peaceful and effective by exposing his personal life and trying to get him to commit suicide.

      In a country where personal freedom, life, the ability to work and support a family*, your religious beliefs and expressions, liberty and the right to live as you god damn well please** is supposedly sacrosanct*** he’s our most important public figure since the close of WW2.

      If anything I feel like as the most important recent historical american, we don’t do enough to celebrate that one guy.

      I do get your point on civil rights day, it’s just I feel like it’s almost impossible to do MLK justice

      ——————————–
      *unless you’re mexican
      **or gay
      **or poor

      • nj0

        Agreed. I think we can do both – honor the man and promote the Civil Rights Movement as a whole. I am backing away from my original proposition. Why even get rid of MLK Jr Day? Why not just add a Civil Rights Day for after the Superbowl?

    • actovegin1armstrong

      Well put, people seem to ignore the flaws of MLK.
      The virtues and importance of Civil Rights are beyond reproach, but they extend far beyond one man.

  • Chris P.

    Yeah. Um, we’re at the Dull Blank Stare stage with the Plain Dealer.

    Between whatever it is Shaw does now, and Livingston’s ode to LBJ/Hubert Humphrey, it’s, um, weird.

    Thank god for “and things”

    With the governor about to put the finishing touches on his brilliant plan of taking money away from those schools the steal the taxpayer money just to serve “underprivileged minority children” and put those dollars back where they can do the most good, in the hands of the people making 300K and above (who know how to make jobs!!!11!11!), “and things” will rarely be as important as they will be in the next few months.

    You know next time people clamor for a leader who “just does what he thinks is right” and gives a giant middle finger to his party AND his opposing party, let’s remember this object lesson in inanity that has been the last few years.

    • http://www.clevelandfrowns.com/ Cleveland Frowns

      I mean, aren’t you getting way ahead of yourself here?

      • Chris P.

        -1 at the implication it’s ever to early for a shot across kasich’s bow

  • nj0
    • nj0

      This is exemplary of the genre.

      Vague, unsupported assertions of excellence – “his legacy as one of the NFL’s most visionary owners is unquestioned.”

      Presenting local passion as irrational and baseless – “Maybe, just maybe, enough time has passed for Clevelanders to let go of their anger and bitterness”

      Intentionally confusing cause/effect to whitewash history – “They didn’t have to cringe as their team colors were paraded through another city”

      Pointless straw man – “The whole Modell/Robert Irsay comparison is just sour apples and oranges.”

      The most infuriating line for me? “The debt has been paid.” How did Art Modell pay back his debt to Cleveland and Browns fans? Did I miss it?

      I could go on.

      • NeedsFoodBadly

        He paid his debt when the Ravens won the Super Bowl the first time. What, Clevelanders didn’t celebrate that?

    • http://www.clevelandfrowns.com/ Cleveland Frowns

      I’ll take mine hot with liquid camphor, benzene and metal shop sweepings, please.

  • GrandRapidsRustlers

    I think we are missing the bigger point.

    He almost lost me at fantasy football but I fought through it.

    I say we bring ourselves even with China. That gives us 17 or 18 more holidays to add.

    Monday after Super Bowl
    Opening Day
    Day after Thanksgiving
    July 5th

    It’s group think and we have work to do here.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1kbBmlAvdI PML

    Geez, why is everyone upset about this? Bud’s just trying to get in good early with our eventual yellow overlords. If anyone needs advice on how to act when it happens, please feel free to reach out to me.

  • mo_by_dick

    From Boston Magazine, on terrible sportswriters:

    http://www.bostonmagazine.com/articles/2013/01/boston-sportswriters-awful/

  • BIKI024

    don’t see the connection of “fantasy footballers” to the Super Bowl. the Fantasy Football season ends on Week 17 (regular season typically ends after week 14 or 15.)

    Besides, who doesn’t plan in advance of taking Monday after SB as a “sick” or “work from home” day anyhow?

  • damajuki

    You guys see someone posted Kanicki’s #ArtOut piece in Grossi’s comments? From some guy in Hawaii, no less. Well done, Kanicki!

    • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

      :-) we pimpin? ok, we’re pimpin.

      ” ‘… I asked [Modell] about his chances of ever reaching Canton. His response: “I know [Raiders owner] Al Davis is in and he moved the team twice. Doesn’t that say something to you?’

      It’s hard to argue against Modell on this point. … The Hall can’t have one set of rules for Davis and another for Modell.”

      – Jamison Hensley, ESPN

      No Mr. Hensley, it’s easy to argue Modell’s point… (more).

      lol, thx frowns!

    • http://www.clevelandfrowns.com/ Cleveland Frowns

      Keep up the good work.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    i like doerschuk and bless the cantonrep… but he’s doing a review of EVERY missed draft pick in the last decade. like: we should have brady, gore, jujones, welker… i didnt finish, got the gist.

    that’s a paddlin.

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    good news: we can finally settle the cle-dot-com browns uni debate?

    we have a winner.

  • http://twitter.com/JRichTCF Jeff Rich

    I get six days. New Years, Memorial Day, the 4th, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. My Memphis-based salt mine doesn’t let the salt mine itself on the day that recognizes the man who died fighting for the rights of men mining the salt.

    While not without flaws (as mentioned), that man is a wonderful man, who certainly deserves the recognition, but probably would not care to accept it, given the choice. No disrespect intended toward the good doctor, but his life isn’t the first thing I think of on MLK Day, but rather how we treat our fellow man. The day off from the mines is intended to provide us all with the opportunity to do some community service. How many of us blessed with the freedom to do that actually take advantage?

    Anyway, I’m totally cool with Super Bowl Monday being a holiday. I recall my days in the Marine Corps, and how the DoD made certain that the Super Bowl was seen by as many troops as possible. When Elway went helicopter, we were in the woods in North Carolina, far from civilization, but not so far that an F150 couldn’t haul a big screen TV in its bed to entertain us. When stationed in Okinawa, the big game kicked off at 0800 on Monday morning, but no problem for us; by order of the Commanding Officer, all personnel will report for duty no later than 1 hour after the game ends.

    That’s what this game is in this country. Why deny it?

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