The Cavs are now that much closer to locking up the 13th pick in June’s draft thanks to consecutive last-minute home wins against two of the worst teams in the league, and folks are starting to get really pumped:

Fourth quarters are supposed to belong to veteran players, men who have learned over time to harness their emotions as the possessions grow few and consequences for mistakes escalate.

So what 19-year-old Kyrie Irving is doing in his rookie season almost defies logic and — in the case of his no-look, over-the-shoulder pass to Alonzo Gee — description. He is becoming one of the kings of late-night basketball and his band of Cavaliers teammates are only too happy to tag along.

It turns out that a lot more happened last year than we first remembered anyway, so it’s just as well that our year in review post comes later this week what with all the Cavs excitement today.

Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. — Henry Kissinger

—————

We had an important business meeting last weekend with Scene’s Vince Grzegorek at a local watering hole and our server happened to mention that (s)he used to work at XO Steakhouse in Cleveland’s Warehouse District back when it was one of the favorite post-game spots of LeBron James. LeBron’s exploits at XO being a subject of great historical interest, we of course asked some follow-up questions.

First, our source wouldn’t confirm or deny the infamous allegation that LeBron once left a $10 tip on an $800 check. (S)he told us that (s)he avoided any such problems by always adding the gratuity to his check. One time when (s)he did this, James responded by saying that he wasn’t “with” the folks that (s)he included on his bill. (S)he replied by telling him: “well, they need to give you some money, then.”

This is when (s)he told us: “LeBron liked me because I didn’t put up with his crap.” Of course. If only Dan Gilbert had this kind of smarts.

(S)he also told us that LeBron liked to drink apple martinis, which comes as no surprise because apple martinis are delicious, and if you had a job where you could take a four-hour nap every day to sleep off the sugar hangover, you would drink them, too. Relatedly, LeBron would ask his servers to have his steak (well done) already cut up for him, which corroborates a report by a (former?) server at Johnny’s who once told Grzegorek that LeBron would order his spaghetti cut up as well, and also of course enhances the credibility of our source.

Such new understanding on all sides of course sure to make things go that much smoother when LeBron finally comes back to Cleveland, who can even wait?

UPDATE: Grzegorek’s account of our conversation with the XO server is here.

—————

In other good news, following up on last week’s look at the race for Cuyahoga County Prosecutor, the Plain Dealer gave its endorsement to Robert Triozzi.

Alright, hope everyone has a decent Tuesday. We’ll be back tomorrow with a special Year in Review post unless something crazy happens.

Just in time for the Miami Heat’s visit to Cleveland, the latest absurd consequence of Dan Gilbert’s regressive self-serving LeBron demonization campaign: The hometown superstar says something that any decent human should want to hear him say (that “it would be great” if he were to come back home to play basketball for the Cleveland Cavaliers), and the response is mainly a bunch of tut-tutting about how LeBron should keep his mouth shut about Cleveland and focus on playing for the Miami Heat. Worse, current Cavs players say they’re “puzzled” by these remarks about the former superstar someday returning to the team. The Plain Dealer’s Tom Reed adds that the Cavaliers’ “serene season” has been “pierced” by LeBron’s comments.

This is insane. It’s like if somebody punched you in the face and took your money, then shortly apologized, asked for your forgiveness, offered give you your money back and pay your medical expenses, and further promised to work for the chance to give you even more money on top of what he took away. What if in response you said: “No, no. What’s done is done. You should stay focused on spending my money on yourself now, and stop distracting yourself and everybody else with this idea of giving me my money back. Frankly, I’m puzzled by your effort to make up for what you did. You’re really piercing my serenity here.”

Granting as any of LeBron’s worst critics would that his decision to leave the Cavaliers was a plain breach, a promise broken, and also, probably, a mistake, what could be more natural than a person wanting to make good on a broken promise and correct a past mistake? Of course, it’s just like he said, it really would be great if he could do that in Cleveland.  What could be greater than that, really?

The prodigal son narrative, accepted as affirming of humanity everywhere else, even in church, but not here. Not when we’re talking about LeBron.

Which is what happens to peoples’ brains when the powers that be decide that they have something to gain from people hating somebody, and the people respond by giving in to their worst impulses.

Ooh, Scott Raab will be at the game tonight! What’s he going to tweet about Delonte and LeBron’s mom? Whore whore whore whore whore! Tut tut tut tut! I’m so puzzled!

Um, go Cavs. You can’t say we haven’t made at least some progress here.

———–

Yes, it’s as good a day as any to re-read the definitive review of Raab’s regressively celebrated book “about LeBron,” “The Whore of Akron.”

And here’s what LeBron actually said:

“I think it would be great … “It would be fun to play in front of these fans again. I had a lot fun times in my seven years here. You can’t predict the future, and hopefully I continue to stay healthy. I’m here as a Miami Heat player, and I’m happy where I am now, but I don’t rule that out in no sense.

“And if I decide to come back, hopefully the fans will accept me.

“I don’t have any hard feelings. [Dan Gilbert] said what he said and I’ve moved on. But there’s been no attempt to patch things up. . . . I don’t hold grudges. I hold them a little bit, but I don’t hold them that long.

“He said what he said out of anger and he would probably want to take that back. But I made a mistake, too, and there are some things I would want to take back as well. You learn from your mistakes and move on.”

Of course.

Alright, Cavs Cavs Cavs. Hope everyone has a decent weekend. 47 more days till opening day, 69 more until the draft.

UPDATE: Per Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski:

LeBron James came to Cleveland with an unmistakable mission this week, the beginning of a campaign to soften the fans and ownership on his desire to return to the Cavaliers in 2014. Free agency is forever on his mind, and James is determined to make his hometown want him as much he wants it again.

This was no accident, no misspeaking, nothing out of context. Before mentioning Thursday his openness to playing in Cleveland again, James months ago had an emissary or two carry that message to the Cavaliers’ front office, league sources told Yahoo! Sports. His camp wanted the message delivered to owner Dan Gilbert, sources said, but so far, the response has been silence.

* * *

At this point. Make no mistake: James will need to make this easy for Gilbert, make it a public mandate. It promises to be a delicate dance for Gilbert. After all that, how do you welcome him back. And, well, how do you tell that talent, that kind of winning and profit, no?

“He has started to lay the groundwork, and he’s waiting to see what Dan Gilbert’s reaction to it is,” one league source with direct knowledge told Yahoo! Sports.

Here we go again, yes. Sam Amico of Fox Sports Ohio reported a month ago that James had expressed unhappiness in Miami, and that a return was on his mind. Different dynamics are working here too. James loves to be in perpetual recruitment, always wanting to be wanted. LeBron is the MVP of the NBA this season, and yet, he isn’t the story. And he likes to be the story.

And/or he simply understands that he made a mistake in leaving, and wants to come back home and make good. Who wouldn’t?

We had a phenomenal post about halfway worked up today before things blew up at the salt mine, so instead of that, enjoy this analysis by Jon Stewart of the comparison by certain “Fox News Christians” of President Obama’s recent birth control mandate to Nazi Germany, because if it wasn’t for people who make comparisons like this, there would be world peace and things would have never blown up at the salt mine like they did today. Which of course also explains why this post is sports-related, but it’s sports related for another reason as well, because Fox is also the company that produces the TV show, “The League.” “The League” is very well done for what it is, and sometimes really funny, but is also a show about a fantasy football league that’s specifically (and secretly, of course) designed to normalize the regressive proliferation of fantasy football so as to keep people stupider so that people watch more Fox programming at the expense of other things, like making the world a less friendly place for people who do things like compare President Obama’s recent birth control mandate to Nazi Germany. Think about it.

Will be back with a phenomenal post tomorrow unless something crazy happens.

You know how the same dress, tablecloths, centerpieces, scalloped potatoes, etc. will cost you ten times more than they otherwise would if you tell the vendors that you want them for a wedding? Nightline or one of the other big TV newsmags did a piece on it once, where they had a couple plan a big party for what they called a renewal of their wedding vows when in reality the couple was actually getting married for the first time. Everything ended up costing them ten times less than it otherwise would have, and the vendors flipped when they found out, but there was nothing they could do about it. It was great TV.

Anyway, not everyone is going to be able to pull something like that off, so you’ll be glad to know that there’s a convenient antidote to wedding day extortion right downtown, where for three years running local judges have been officiating Valentine’s Day weddings in one of Cleveland’s best public spaces, Tower City, for only $40 per couple. And actually much less than that if you’re one of the first 35 couples to sign up.

The first 35 couples to wed under a floral-trimmed arbor will receive a $25 Tower City gift card, a boutonniere for the groom, a Valentine’s Day cupcake, a gift bag and a free parking pass — provided they bring a marriage license.

There’s also a singer, Cleveland Municipal Court bailiff Lucretia Bolden who sang the national anthem at President Obama’s 2008 pre-election rally in Cleveland. Cleveland.com has posted some photos of yesterday’s ceremonies.

—————

Here’s a valentine from Scene’s Vince Grzegorek to his favorite city, where he links to a good read at RustWire on the branding and rebranding of Cleveland;

One from the Cavs to their fans, the product of an elaborate hazing ritual;

And one to the Rock Hall from Paul Lukas of Uniwatch, also via Scene.

Finally, Aston Villa manager Alex McLeish looks to Pat Shurmur for tips on how to avoid relegation. “Quite what McLeish and Shurmur can learn from each other, other than how not to win, is anyone’s guess.” Hopefully Mary Kay is all over this.

49 more days till opening day, 71 more until the draft. Heat in town on Friday.

Jon Garland. Not bad! Alright, with there being literally nothing else to talk about, and with the primary just around the corner on March 6 (that will effectively decide the election), today’s as good a day as any to take a quick look at the race for Cuyahoga County Prosecutor, especially since the Plain Dealer ran a series of candidate profiles yesterday by Leila Atassi.

Here are the profiles for your review, presented in alphabetical order, and with the PD’s own web headlines:

“Cuyahoga County prosecutor candidate Subodh Chandra not bashful in his quest for change”;

“Cuyahoga County prosecutor candidate Stephanie Hall is former Cleveland police officer”;

“Cuyahoga County prosecutor candidate James McDonnell touts experience as defense attorney”;

“Cuyahoga County prosecutor candidate Timothy McGinty says he is tired of the status quo”;

“Cuyahoga County prosecutor candidate Robert Triozzi says he won’t back down from fights”;

And here’s an editorial by Mark Naymik that ran on Sunday, titled, “Tim McGinty’s recognition, money lead way in Cuyahoga County prosecutor’s race.”

On reviewing this material, you’ll notice a few things:

First, that:

Tim McGinty is the front-runner in the race for Cuyahoga County prosecutor and is likely to win the job in the March 6 Democratic primary. …

A former high-profile and sometimes controversial Cuyahoga County Common Pleas Court judge, McGinty has the highest name recognition among voters. He is outspending everyone. And the projected voter turnout is expected to be higher on Cleveland’s near West Side and in the western suburbs.

These advantages are magnified by the compressed time frame of the race.

McGinty also carries more baggage than others but this doesn’t matter because his opponents have no money to exploit it. He’s raised more than $200,000 and is outspending his opponents. … McGinty [has] purchased more than 700 television commercials on local network stations.

As for this baggage, per Atassi:

McGinty, who tried hundreds of cases as a prosecutor between 1982 and 1992, has long carried the burden of the role he played in the wrongful conviction of Michael Green in 1988.

Green, who spent 13 years in prison for a rape he did not commit, was ultimately freed on DNA evidence using testing technology that did not exist at the time of his conviction.

McGinty said he has since personally apologized to Green and promised he would make it his mission to advocate for more reliable scientific testing in criminal cases.

But his opponents are quick to point out that years later, then-Judge McGinty issued a recommendation to Youngstown State University on behalf of a crime-lab technician who had been fired because of the poor integrity of his work on the Green case.

So, McGinty is the guy with the machine behind him, so can outspend the other candidates by orders of magnitude; Also a former prosecutor who sent a man to jail for 13-years on bad DNA evidence and later recommended the lab tech who came up with the bad evidence for another government job.

Now here’s Naymik on candidate Robert Triozzi, who “ranks second in name recognition,” according to campaign polls.

Former Cleveland Municipal Judge Robert Triozzi … left his job as Cleveland law director to run.

Triozzi‘s low-key personality makes it hard for him to stand out at candidate events but he is attracting some support from business leaders, who see him as the best person to run an open and professional office. Several plan fundraisers for him.

Triozzi is also looking for help from Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson, who remains popular in the city. Triozzi performed poorly in a race for mayor years ago, but he’s better suited for this job.

Attassi adds that:

Some might say the legacy of Robert Triozzi‘s five years as Cleveland’s law director is his frustrated effort to punish Wall Street banks for their role in the city’s foreclosure crisis.

In 2010, a federal appeals court ruled that Cleveland’s attempt to hold 21 banks and mortgage companies accountable for bankrolling subprime loans had no merit — dashing the city’s hopes of ever collecting millions of dollars in damages related to foreclosures.

The lawsuit was among several examples of failed litigation Triozzi championed on behalf of the city and serves as fodder for his critics, who say his questionable judgment on the merits of those cases make him a risky choice for prosecutor.

On review of the rest of our source materials, this looks like the worst thing anyone can say about Triozzi: That he spearheaded the effort to make Cleveland the first people anywhere to hold Wall Street accountable for deliberately wrecking Cleveland and the rest of the world with a historic mortgage con game; and also that he didn’t win every single case he brought in five years as Cleveland’s Law Director. (Also note that Cleveland’s case against Wall Street hardly cost the City anything because the law firm that Triozzi hired to press the case* handled the matter on a contingency basis).

Anyway, again, McGinty is the one who’s likely to win, because he’s outspending everyone else by orders of magnitude.

There’s more to know about about Triozzi, McGinty and the rest of the candidates, of course, but the material here jumped out as presenting an especially interesting contrast.

Hope everyone in Cuyahoga County gets out and votes on March 6. Mark your calendars, etc.

50 more days till opening day, 72 more until the draft. …

—————

*DISCLOSURE

Excellent work by the Plain Dealer’s Jodie Valade in reporting on the drug addictions that killed former University of Akron football players Chris Jacquemain and Tyler Campbell. As disappointing as it was when the Zips failed to close out the Rubber Bowl with a win in its last game in the historic structure, it’s at least a little bit easier to understand now. To hell with a system that criminalizes addicts and empowers actual criminals with black market profits, always. Here’s a link to a website for Tyler’s Light, an organization set up by Campbell’s family, dedicated to providing drug addiction education and support to residents of Pickering and Fairfield Counties.

When it’s not football season it’s Frowndup season, and Foto season.

Note, this shirt is a throwback piece. The Flats are fine now.

The video of the day is a real gem from ClevelandBrowns.com. Especially the first couple minutes. Thanks to CTLTIL for posting it in the comments yesterday.

Here’s a good read from Cleveland food writer Michael Ruhlman on the “stupid and simplistic message that fat is bad for you” (via Scene);

Here’s LA Times columnist T.J. Simers laying in to current L.A. Clipper, formerly the second-best player of Cleveland’s LeBron Era, Mo Williams for, “hurting himself and the Clippers with his selfish attitude.” You’ll never see anything like it in a Cleveland paper;

And couple of pieces at Scene (here and here) on Governor Kasich’s embarrassing State of the State speech, where he “imitated a Parkinson’s patient, cried, [called] the people of California ‘a bunch of wackadoodles,’ praised his ‘hot wife,’ gave 14 shout-outs to [Ohio State President Gordon Gee] and played an awards show host,” among other things. Three more years with this guy.

54 more days till opening day, 76 more until the draft. Hope everyone has a decent weekend.

With such a busy week last week we didn’t have time to get to this, but former NFL fullback Heath Evans, who spent four years in Seattle under Mike Holmgren before moving to New England to wind up his career playing for Bill Belichick, had some strong words for the current Browns president in Pro Football Weekly:

Evans said he was “ready to retire” because of the clubhouse cancers he encountered in Seattle, and he blames Holmgren for fostering that kind of environment.

“Bunch of selfish guys,” Evans said. “Everything from racism to ‘I want the ball’ to ‘It’s all about me.’ Bad locker room.”

Evans said what separates Belichick from Holmgren — and from almost any other head coach he has been around — was accountability.

“Mike Holmgren didn’t coach his star players,” Evans said. “It’s really kind of true. The most talented football teams I was ever on were those Seahawks teams.  But they were complete failures. A lack of consistency, a lack of discipline. Mike was mad at Shaun Alexander for skipping a non-mandatory minicamp, but instead of calling Shaun or reaming him out, he finds me buck naked in the shower and reams me out in front of everybody else. Because I was the ‘yes, sir, no, sir’ Marine Corps daddy guy.

“I wish I would have done it my first year, but I finally said, ‘For four years you have mistaken my respect as weakness. Don’t ever talk to me that way again.’ It really changed my relationship with him for the last three weeks of my career in Seattle. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.”

This followed up comments from a month earlier, where Evans told 92.3′s Bull and Fox that:

“Mike Holmgren tries to squeeze everybody into [the west coast offense], I’ve got news for ya, the west coast system is not a world beater anymore,” Evans said. “In the 80′s early 90′s it caught everybody off guard with the crossing routes and all the mix and matches. Now if you’ve got good DC’s and disciplined players on the defensive side of the football it’s not beating anybody.”

“I think Mike just has a problem for seeing what each individual player can add to a team, instead of trying to stuff everybody into a system,” Evans said. “I watch this offensive football team (the Browns) and I can call most of the plays.”

Whatever axe Evans might have to grind with Holmgren, he’s also a journalist, considered by some to be a “thoughtful and intelligent” “rising star” at the NFL Network, so not just a former player popping off from his couch. But what’s probably most interesting about his comments is that practically nobody in the Cleveland media picked up on them, whereas when Alex Mack talked about how full-team lynchings film sessions under Eric Mangini were too “humiliating,” and when Colt McCoy talked about how he didn’t like it when Brian Daboll yelled at him for playing terribly when he actually played terribly, it was front page news.

One might think that criticism of the guy who’s still in charge (and with more power than any Browns boss has ever had) would be more newsworthy than shots at the guys who aren’t here anymore, but that’s apparently not the case here. Which is especially strange since, even apart from what Mack and McCoy’s ridiculous yapping says about the state of the Browns locker room, most everyone who could fairly be considered a “star” on the team had seasons that ranged from disappointing (Cribbs, Haden, McCoy), to completely disastrous (Hillis); And also of course because the offense here really did look like it was drawn with a crayon on one side of a piece of notebook paper. (Again, contrast with whatever damage could have possibly resulted from Mangini’s full-team film sessions, or from Daboll yelling at McCoy.)

Which also underscores, again, the profound absurdity of Holmgren’s “with us or against us … don’t come at me for playoff tickets” rant. What more can this guy ask for?

"Another daiquiri, for starters. Blue this time! And a pack of Newport 100s. I don't have all day here."

—————

Here’s a list of QB’s Holmgren had a hand in selecting and developing while a head coach at the professional level from Lane Adkins of The Orange and Brown Report, who notes that, “[o]utside of Hasselbeck (dealt to Seattle under Holmgren’s watch) the level of play or development from those players was strongly nondescript – and any play of consequence was while in the uniform of teams other than the Green Bay Packers.”

Ty Detmer selected in 1992
Mark Brunell selected in 1993
Jay Barker selected in 1995
Kyle Wacholtz selected in 1996
Matt Hasselbeck selected in 1998
Brock Huard selected in 1999
Josh Booty selected in 2001
Jeff Kelly selected in 2002
Seneca Wallace selected in 2003
David Green selected in 2005
Colt McCoy selected in 2010

Read the whole thing.

—————

Tribe farm system ranked 29th in the MLB; Akron Zips soccer recruiting class ranked best in the Nation; February ranked 12th among all months. 55 days till opening day, 77 till the draft.

So says Joel Hammond at Crain’s Cleveland Business in so many words, and it’s hard to disagree.

Freedum is teh rite to chooze!

Something worth thinking about, so go to Crain’s and check it out.

—————

And the winner of the Cheddar Bay Super Bowl contest for the $40 Red Lobster gift card directly from Red Lobster itself is:

River Burns, in a landslide.

Don’t ask why we could get 36 people to pay $100 to write essays for 17 weeks but could only get four to take a real shot at such a prestigious prize for free, because River would have probably won anyway. If you’ve never been to his website before, you should bookmark it today. Good reads on Josh Hamilton, Cleveland as Kyrie Irving’s new home, and the Worst Browns Season Ever are representative.

Alrighty, February, what a thing. Two down, 56 days till opening day, 78 till the draft.