Good grief, it’s Browns season again

by Cleveland Frowns on September 11, 2016

After last season, on top of every other Cleveland football season and non-season since 1995, it seems all there is to appreciate about the Browns anymore are the parallels between the spectacular deterioration of the franchise and that of Cleveland’s middle class, job market, and social safety net.


Will Hue Jackson and a bunch of Ivy-degreed technocrats give us any reason to think that what was good about the Browns hasn’t gone away with so much about what used be good about America? Now that LeBron has made good on the greatest story imaginable in modern pro-sports, how much enthusiasm will Northeast Ohioans be able to maintain for a bunch of guys flown in by an oligarch from Tennessee to play football games with “Cleveland” written on their shirts?

Folks will have to tune in to find out.

Happy football season to all, from the folks at Cleveland Frowns.


Gregory P. Pattakos (1944-2016)

by Cleveland Frowns on August 19, 2016

Γρηγόρης Παναγιώτης Παττακός (Grigoris Panayiotis (“Greg”) Pattakos) passed away late on Saturday evening, August 13, due to complications caused by cancer.


He was born on November 9, 1944 in the city of Chania on the island of Crete, Greece, the seventh child and third son of Maria (Markakis) Pattakos (of the village of Pervolia in Chania) and Panayiotis Pattakos (of the village of Ano Meros in Rethymnon, Crete). The Pattakos clan descends from the legacy of “the seven brothers,” who, after the fall of the Byzantine Empire to the Ottoman Turks in 1453, were exiled by the sultan from their home on the island of Imbros in the northeast corner of the Aegean Sea to the remote mountainous region of Sfakia, on Crete’s southeastern coast. Here, according to historian Adonis Plymakis in his book, “Sfakia: Imbros’ Gorge,” [click to continue…]


The Chosen One Makes Good

by Cleveland Frowns on June 21, 2016

He did it. LeBron James just wrote the greatest story imaginable in modern pro sports. To echo a common refrain about his infamous “Decision” to leave Cleveland for Miami in 2010, it’s not just that he ended Cleveland’s impossible 52-year championship drought, it’s the way that he did it.

img_1631A run-of-the-mill title run wouldn’t have cut it here. Not after five decades of sustained and regularly heart-wrenching failure that had given Cleveland fans every reason to be cynical about pro sports. Click to continue reading at Cleveland Scene


“Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it.”Robertson Davies


It would be understandable if people were thinking that there wouldn’t be a draft party this year. [click to continue…]


After the Browns finished 7-9 last season for their best record since 2007, the NFL schedule-makers were encouraged enough to reward them with a slot on Monday Night Football for the first time since 2009. The Browns rewarded the schedule-makers in turn by arriving for the showcase event with a 2-9 record, helping to make for “one of the least attractive matchups in Monday Night Football History.” Still, they were considered 4-point favorites playing at home against a 3-8 Ravens team that had lost its quarterback and a number of other key starters to injury. Before the game, Browns players were talking about how the Monday-night lights could help them turn their season around. And on what would be the game’s last play, with the score tied, they set up to kick what would have been a game-winning field goal. Seconds later, though, they’d become only the second team in NFL history and the first in three decades to lose on a walk-off blocked field goal return. The videos capturing live reactions to this ending are like Guernica.


The level of anguish on display here is something to appreciate. It’s not as if these fans didn’t know [click to continue…]


The Browns shouldn’t be so bad this season

by Cleveland Frowns on September 10, 2015

Let’s forget for a moment that the NFL is basically a five-month-long commercial for beer, pick-up trucks and the military-industrial complex, subsidized by taxpayers on the worst possible terms and powered by men willing to turn their brains into porridge on non-guaranteed contracts for the off-chance at dying with some money in the bank. Let’s also forget that hardly any of the people who manage the Cleveland Browns, play for the Cleveland Browns, or misappropriate an annual 8-plus-figure annuity from the Cleveland Browns would have a decent thing to do with Cleveland, Ohio if the NFL franchise didn’t happen to be based here. Let’s even forget that there probably won’t even be a Cleveland, Ohio, or any place else for too much longer. Football season is here so it’s time to talk about how it’s going to go.

Browns fan

The prediction here is that it won’t go so badly, at least not as far as Browns seasons go. [click to continue…]


The Greek debt crisis has everything to do with Cleveland sports

August 5, 2015

The New York Times recently published a column by Michael Powell titled “Sports Owners Dip Into the Public’s Purse, Despite Their Billions in the Bank.” The piece focused on Cleveland and last year’s county-wide ballot issue on the “sin tax,” in which the local pro sports owners, with the help of their corporate sponsors, spent […]

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Golden State is a fraud

June 4, 2015

With the Cavs set to face off against the Warriors in Game 1 of the NBA Finals tonight it’s especially important to point out that California should hardly even be a state, let alone a “Golden” one populous enough to support four NBA franchises. It’s one thing to note that the state is experiencing an […]

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Draft Day Prayer for Browns Fans

April 30, 2015

Makers Mark Commemorative Tim Couch bottles up, everybody, it’s draft day! This year’s draft preview is again brought to you by Mentor’s own Matt Borcas, who writes about the NFL and other subjects of great historical import for ESPN’s Grantland, and who was more excited about Johnny Football last year than anyone except for maybe only […]

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Happy Earth Day from Governor Kasich, Jimmy Haslam, and Pilot Flying J

April 23, 2015

To celebrate Earth Day, observed on April 22 every year worldwide, here’s a video posted at the Guardian of a newly built train in Japan that levitates on magnets and is designed to transport commuters at a speed of 500 kilometers (310 miles) per hour. A similar train in the U.S. would get you from […]

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