“Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it.” ― Robertson Davies
It would be understandable if people were thinking that there wouldn’t be a draft party this year. As the years pass, it keeps getting harder to see the NFL as anything other than the worst kind of brand exploitation, and this would be true even if the Browns could manage to show up as something other than a historic league-laughingstock. And even if one manages to look past the larger concerns, after the way last season went, and with Haslam’s neweststrategy of throwing money at a bunch of Ivy-degreed technocrats who’ve stripped the roster down to expansion-era levels just in time to give the new quarterback a lifetime of Tim Couch PTSD-shakes, there still isn’t be a whole lot new to feel, think, or say about the orange helmets.
But as spectacularly as the Browns have failed to reach their potential as a community asset, football is still fun and the orange helmets still offer as much of a collective experience and memory as anything else. At least in this corner of the internet. Which itself is worth celebrating, not least because the lessons of Vanilla Sky and The Whore of Akron won’t soon be lost on us. Of course, if it weren’t for terrible things, there could never be anything great. And a hometown NFL franchise that’s an endless void of disappointment and despair is also a fine reminder that the possibilities for draft parties and everything else are theoretically limitless. Not to mention that this could be our last chance to get together in Cleveland as we know it what with the looming existential threat posed by this summer’s RNC.
So let’s party like Jim Pyne in 1999.
The location, as always, is the basement of Gillespie’s Map Room (1281 West 9th St., just north of Saint Clair in the Warehouse District). The party will start at 6PM and will [click to continue…]
Powell’s column freshly raises familiar questions about why a struggling county would spend so much public money to subsidize hugely profitable businesses owned by billionaires. It also raises questions about why the Times would care to focus on the Cleveland sin tax fight so long after the fact, with the subsidy now stuck on Cuyahoga County taxpayer’s bill until 2035. But it’s an issue that keeps coming up across the US, most recently in Milwaukee with the NBA’s Bucks, and with St. Louis, Oakland, and San Diego’s respective NFL teams threatening to move to LA. And more generally speaking, billionaires sticking it to civilians with unsustainable debt loads is a hot topic worldwide.
Powell gets to the heart of the matter in pointing out that:
With the Cavs set to face off against the Warriors in Game 1 of the NBA Finals tonight it’s especially important to point out that California should hardly even be a state, let alone a “Golden” one populous enough to support four NBA franchises.
It was the best of times. The Browns had finally drafted their franchise savior, the electrifying quarterback out of Texas A&M, the only freshman ever to win the Heisman trophy, and the biggest celebrity in college football history. Everything was about to change. Season-ticket sales spiked. You probably even priced plane tickets to the next few years’ Super Bowl locations, but even if you didn’t, you have to admit: I was Aaron Goldhammer. You were Aaron Goldhammer. We were all Aaron Goldhammer.
To celebrate Earth Day, observed on April 22 every year worldwide, here’s a video posted at the Guardian of a newly built train in Japan that levitates on magnets and is designed to transport commuters at a speed of 500 kilometers (310 miles) per hour. A similar train in the U.S. would get you from […]
“Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it.” ― Robertson Davies ————— Three years ago it was Richardson and Weeden. Last year it was Gilbert and Manziel. This year the Browns have a pair of first-round picks yet again and whether the third time’s a charm or […]
It’s opening day in Cleveland again, so it’s time for another round of conversations about the Major League Baseball club named the “Indians” and its redfaced logo Chief Wahoo, the only mainstream pro-sports logo in the Western world that caricaturizes a race of people. On opening day in Cleveland last April, Wahoo and the “Indians” […]
Last week the Browns made national headlines and put the local news cycle on freeze with a heavily promoted “rebranding” that turned out not to be a rebranding at all. For all the many ways this offseason has somehow again plunged the franchise to new depths of league-laughingstock status, the “rebranding” episode was actually glorious, […]